I didn't know I suffered from anxiety before I faced postpartum anxiety

I didn't know I suffered from anxiety before I became a mother.

On my first Mother’s day, a few months after my daughter was born, I realized I was going through something more intensive than just the normal levels of overwhelm, and anxiety.

I woke up happy and excited.

I got everything I had silently wished for: a lovely breakfast, time together, a beautiful candle as a gift.

I cried when I heard “you’re such a good mother” as it felt so good to get the recognition I had craved.

Later on that day we went to the park, it was the first warm spring day. I had all the reasons to be happy.

Suddenly anxiety took control of me. I felt so restless, uncomfortable in my own skin, angry, panicky, and trying to control things and push the growing emotions away.

I was sent home and I tried to rest but cried as I couldn’t calm myself down. Me who had over 10 years of meditation practice, and knowing so much about anxiety through my work.

I felt guilty, impostor and helpeless.

I then started realizing I was going through something more than normal emotions and behavior that I couldn’t get through on my own.

I Googled about postpartum anxiety and it all rang the bell.

• In general, I felt out of control, like everything and everyone was controlling me and my life that had changed completely.

• I felt I can't handle and control my emotions by feeling them away like I normally do.

• I was worrying a lot, living in the future or the past.

Before things were getting better they got worse, like they sometimes do.

I started getting panic attacks out of the blue while walking on the street on my own or having lunch by myself.

It was difficult for me to relax and trust the process and fully enjoy my life and time with the baby without thinking of the next thing, my work and my business, our future.

I felt so unsafe, terrified, not able to understand what was going on with me.

I tried to overcontrol things and my overwhelming emotions.

While at the same time I super happy about my baby, she was more than welcomed, a dream come true.

I loved spending time with her.

It was very black and white like it is when we deal with subconscious patterns.

As I got help from my trusted therapists and healer and started focusing on healing myself, taking time for myself and recovering, I realized I had had anxiety since I was a child.

All this led me to a transformational healing journey that helped me improve many areas of life and make my desires real.

why all this triggered:

• We had just moved to a new country, Germany. It was like a whole new planet after New York. 3 days after we moved in I knew I was expecting

• My work had been validating me, and my value externally. I had always been looking for external validation- and of course, when this was “taken away” I missed the fulfilling feeling that my work had given to me

• I still didn’t feel fully worthy, safe, successful, and lovable as I was, right there but I was always trying to achieve and earn it, in many ways

• Motherhood, the schedules, and the sleeplessness and all those emotions and my own and the generational patterns from the past triggered the mother wound

• The daily self-care practice that had been keeping me centered, sane and like my best self for years- was not existing even it would have been possible to squeeze it in: I didn’t do that when I had a chance but rushed to work, write, do the chores when I got a little bit time for myself

I didn’t really prioritize myself but was operating on that super mom mode and model most women learn from society and earlier generations.

I was surprised to see how this over-caring and over-nurturing “I can do everything and take care of everyone” role activated in me automatically, even I consider myself as a modern and independent woman.

Healing

I was able to heal the anxiety completely by doing the work with myself.

• I was getting external help and using the tools and methods I have, working relentlessly with limiting beliefs, energy and tackling the patterns that showed up along the ways.

• Anxiety was one reasons that caused me eczema I had suffered on and off since I was 12 years old.

• I healed the past relationships, subconscious blocks with energy psychology, hypnotherapy, and shadow work. I was consciously and consistently healing the heart, mind, and my energy, the inner child in me that had been rejected and abandoned - all of it.

• I became aware and broke the old patterns related to why I was not feeling safe and needed to control, but also generational patterns that had triggered it, the mother wounds.

Since then…

I am so so happy to share I am not waking up anxious anymore.

I don’t get those sudden anxiety attacks that make me clean or organize things obsessively to get myself organized.

I still feel anxious sometimes, I believe it's one feeling that we all have sometimes, but it doesn’t take control of me anymore.

The emotions pass and they stay topical, as I feel them away and don’t push or deny them.

The foundation, the bottom of the feeling is clear that’s how it feels and it feels safe, it’s lasting.

I'm not afraid to feel anxious or overwhelmed anymore.

All this was needed so I could recover, become the whole and empowered woman, mother, and entrepreneur that I am now, perfect as imperfect.

why am I sharing this

Mothers are afraid to share and communicate how they feel because no one wants anyone to think they are imperfect mothers and parents, or not loving or taking care of their children well.

As a hypnotherapist, I know how easily trauma is born and how easily we get conditioned and that terrified me what I was “doing” for my daughter. There was so much guilt and a lot of acceptance healed this.

The real reason why we don’t talk about these things that are actually quite common is simply that it requires vulnerability.

All that I went through is common.

I continuously work with myself when my daughter triggers patterns or intensive emotions in me, it’s not what she does or is but it’s how I react to things. That’s something I can control- me.

So I want to say that you are a good enough, loving, and caring mother and your children will be okay even you have issues and that you are not helpless or alone with them.

You have the power to help and heal yourself and your children will benefit from as much as you do.

That’s how you change the course of the future for your children- and how they will feel about themselves, as a child, adult, and later possibly as a parent- by breaking the patterns that may come far from previous generations.

first aid to anxiety is counterintuitive

By working and helping myself and my clients to heal anxiety, this is what I've learned:

• The root cause, the emotional root of the anxiety is always about fears, fear of the future, fear of the unknown, fear of happiness.

• Deep down the person doesn't somehow feel safe: Comfortable in their own skin, doesn't believe they are lovable, good enough to receive what they want with ease, hence overcontrolling, obsessing.

• They can't trust the unknown, trust the process, surrender to be in the now but constantly thinking of the future, controlling the outcome, obsessing- they tried to keep control no matter what.

• They try to control the anxiety, push it away, avoid facing the related issues, and as it's not possible it grows. It's a vicious cycle, I know.

• Anxiety is often causing autoimmune disease, sensitivities, skin issues, allergies. For me it was eczema and sensitivities, rash was right on my face.

Be with anxiety, breathe through your anxiety, accept you are anxious, feel the anxiety, feel your fears, write them down- share the fact.

The fears never go away completely but you can change the relationship with them and your future by shifting your focus elsewhere.

This is something you can do when you trust and know you are worthy and enough to have what you want and need.

• Your feelings can't really hurt you, it's a feeling.

• Denying your feelings and issues only makes them grow.

It's safe for you to feel and it's possible for you to heal yourself whole.

Please remember, you are enough and lovable even when you feel anxious and struck by fear- accept yourself as anxious in that moment is the guidance I often give to my clients.

Are you struggling with anxiety or overwhelm, or other emotional patterns that prevent you to enjoy your work or life fully?

If so I can help. You may also check out the rapid transformational healing workshops here.

Also, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this! Did you go through something similar when you became a mother? How have you overcome anxiety or issues with overwhelm?

Much love,

Jenni

P.S. If you need any help with getting unstuck, become free from the emotional and mental patterns so you can enjoy yourself, your life, and work and expand from that place, I have limited spots open for my 1:1 Stuck to Success & Flow program. We go through a unique healing process using the proven methods that help you transform your beliefs thoroughly and wholeheartedly. My next availability for the new clients is in August 2021. Book a Clarity call to get started.

How to energize yourelf when you feel drained

My 2-year old daughter had been waking multiple times per night for the last few nights. Actually even longer.

I’ve been okay with that; up during the nights and feeling energized during the days, until suddenly I was at my breaking point.

The lack of sleep starts eating us slowly and surely.

Already on Sunday, I needed to stay at home to take a nap when everyone else went to the beach. 

Yes, that was a severe FOMO moment, I hate anything or anyone over-controlling me, like even lack of sleep, and I felt sorry for myself that I couldn’t join my daughter and husband, as I really wanted to go. 

But… I needed to prioritize my well-being to get through the day.

It reminded me about my burnout and related insomnia from 12 years ago. My body still remembers well how awful that felt, and as I have said there’s no way I’m letting anything like that happen again. 

That’s why I love endlessly priest about healthy habits, how to maintain your energy, wellbeing from the inside out because all that is the source of everything and help others heal the roots for their issues, like I have done. 

It took a long time until I found the ways (worthiness) to make things easier for myself and find the shortcuts. 

Finding microwave potatoes from Spain is one of these shortcuts and helps to get dinner ready SO much faster (and they are better than the big muddy ones, tasting like new potatoes :)) I’m so proud of myself I’ve been able to let go of perfectionism in these little but remarkable ways! Allowing myself to make things as easy as I can is my mantra nowadays- with business and pleasure.  

So back to it… on Monday morning I woke up dead tired again. 

Lack of sleep makes anyone feel low, lacking energy, clarity, and creativity, and joy. 

The foggy brain, unclear thoughts, issues with the memory, never-ending sentences… yes, the tired brain disconnects us from our essence and brilliance. From the body and it’s hard to be present and our best selves when we are in survival mode. It’s easy to neglect healthy habits when you are just so tired and rather complain than do anything for it.  

Before I had a child I had no idea what kind of miracles working mothers were capable of. Now I know. 

You do amazing things! You should be so much prouder of yourself! You are creative, passionate, your mindset is better than many high-achievers, you get through anything!

After years of working with people and myself, I also know we CAN help ourselves feel energized and good even if it’s not possible for you to nap, sleep (or fall asleep) during the day because you work, and you have your passions.

When you feel good, good things can come, you get the results. Putting in the effort from the place of negative energy is a waste of time.

I also know many exhausted high-achieving women and mothers who tend to put in more effort, do one more thing, juggle even more balls in the air and escape their feelings, facing the reality and allowing themselves to get the rest of their need because they feel they will miss something out. But also because deep down they don’t feel enough and worthy to do that- they give a lot but don’t really know how to receive the same.

I was so tired on Monday morning I didn’t remember later in the day if I had even showered (I did).

What I did help me to start my day again so I forgot the morning totally, which was the turning point for me and I got myself energized for the work and the calls with my clients in the afternoon. I don’t like to cancel but as a coach, I need to show up as my best self. 

Before we can show up for anyone else, even for our kids, we have to show up for ourselves, and that’s the key here.  

Tips on how to raise your energy after a sleepless night or when you are feeling drained and you have to work and take care of your responsibilities:

1. If you wake up dead tired, don’t fuel yourself up with coffee but sleep more if you can. Just go back to bed and rest. 

2. Feel your feelings, lie in bed, and breathe to release all tension and negativity out. 

3. Journal about everything that’s going on. It’s okay to vent and struggle. Let it out.

4. Give yourself permission to have an off day. 

5. Focus on easy, simple tasks that don't require a lot from you.  

6. Minimize all events that are not obligatory on that day including work & personal life.

7. Say no to everything you can. 

8. Don’t make any big decisions. 

9. Ask for help, from your partner, a friend. Say that you are struggling. 

10. Order in, make a really simple dinner, or ask someone else to cook.

11. Think about the issues that cause the problem and ideas on how to fix the situation. Do you need to find information on something? Can you get help with that? Is there a boundary that you need to set for yourself or others? Change a habit if it’s somehow you who keeps you up? 

12. Go to bed early. Check your sleep habits, no screens, no substances, set those rules for yourself.

For those who are saying they don’t have time for this, you can make the time. Sit in the car for while by doing nothing, connect within, with your heart and your body. Being present, closing your eyes, and resting even you are not sleeping is helpful. You can scribble things down to any piece of paper.

If exhaustion or lack of sleep is starting to affect your performance and how you feel constantly, get help and figure out where is that coming from and change that.

When you have been operating on the high-striving mode it takes a while for your system to calm down. Repeat these little practices often, daily. Prioritize you and you will be rewarded, with results, happiness- wellbeing. You matter and your health matters.

What are the old ways that don't work for you anymore? What ways work for you?

Would love to hear from you!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. The doors to the Energetic Business Breakthrough are closing on May 7th! If you feel stuck with your business, habits, or career and have challenges in receiving your highest good, your goals and desires Sign up here

P.S.S. If you struggle with insomnia or stress, finding time, energy- balancing the work and life and it’s hard for making things work for you, I can help. You can get started by applying to book a complimentary Clarity call with me.

RELATED POST: 10 TIPS FOR BETTER SLEEP

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash

How to make decision-making easy

My 2-year old is now a strong yes-no person.

Yes, it's the stage often called "terrible twos”, which is most terrible for us adults who can't handle their quick, wild and so unexpected emotional shifts.

I know how overwhelming it is for the parents when a rational approach or explanation doesn't work. 

Small children don't have logic. They only respond with their emotions, which are bigger than their bodies, and yet, they don't know why they feel that way.

This morning she put tried to put her new summer shoes on. I asked if she needed help. 

She didn't. 

She managed to get them somehow on but was not happy with the straps. Something didn't look or feel right to her (she is very much into details.)

She tried again but got even more frustrated as it didn't work the way she wanted. Then she outrageously asked for help. 

I tried to help but she refused to receive it with the loud NO. 

She cried and screamed out of frustration without able to decide what she really wanted. 

Something clearly didn't feel right. Yet she didn’t know WHAT would feel right.

Sounds familiar?

All we knew is that she absolutely loved the shoes. She made her choices from two good options and picked her favorite ones in the blink of an eye. 

This is how a 2-year old often feels. A bit like a teenager, remember?

Young children don't have any earlier life experiences, new things are coming up all the time and all they can do is to watch and learn, explore and try again. 

They make all their decisions, conclusions, and create their world views based on their emotions and what they have learned so far. They already have a belief system- and they have already learned from early on how others respond to their wants and needs. 

This is how our “conditioning” is being formed.  

Which is either helping us to make clear and confident decisions for ourselves, delegate things for others, know that we are worthy and deserving to get our desires (or not), rant about things forever when we lack clarity and feel insecure, or feel so guilty after we have missed an opportunity or have made a mistake...

The adults are often extremely indecisive, struggling with exactly the same emotions than the kids....

Did you know confidence and decision-making is a SKILL you can develop? 

How to make confident decisions that are right for you?

1. Trust your gut and original feeling.

-> Remind yourself of the first feeling and intuition that you first had.

2. Stop overthinking and analyzing.

-> When this happens, it's the resistant, rational mind that is taking over and trying to stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone.

3. Stop asking around what you should do. They don't really know, only you know.

-> If you ask from others, filter their personal beliefs, opinions, negative experiences out of it.

4. Make informed decisions.

->Gather information, ask questions and wait until you know, the feeling comes.

5. Ask yourself what are the consequences?
-> Ponder, if you will you be pleased with your decision 10 minutes, 10 months, or a few years later.

6. Don't try to force the answers or decisions. Go back to no. 1.

-> Forcing means your heart is not with the decision. If you are on deadline: set intention for the outcome and time when you need to know. Then take a break and don't think about it, but rather let it feel inside.

7. Take inspired action.

-> When the good feeling and energy are there - it's THE momentum that you want to follow through! I have never made wrong decisions when I do this.

I’d love to hear from you: How did you boost your courage, confidence and decision-making skills?

If you are at the crossroads, indecisive about your next steps on your business or career, I’d love to invite you to a complimentary Clarity coaching call where we connect and make a plan for the next steps. Book the call here

We have also got have got the confidence workshop updated and available online again

See all the details and get instant access to the workshops here

A quick practice that helps you be focused, productive and energized throughout the day

Now that working from home is part of the new normal I have been encouraging myself and my clients to include easy intentional mindful practices that won’t require much time but help to stay aligned, focused, and productive throughout the day.

When you start your morning by planning it intentionally it helps you to get the results and keep your energy balanced rather than drained. 

My “lockdown” life started already years ago when I became an online entrepreneur. After I became a mother, I needed to tweak and change my habits even more as I didn’t have that much time for wellbeing and self-care, working and balancing life while everything is quite chaotic.

I needed to learn how to ride on the chaos, lead myself in the new setting to stay sain, work for 15-20 hours per week, manage my schedules, energy and time efficiently, so that I have energy for playing with her and household chores.

Now she’s a toddler and we can do a lot more fun things together.

I created this practice and a habit that when it’s my turn to take Stella to the nursery in the mornings, we focus on admiring nature and the surroundings; the birds and trees, and smells of flowers.

She’s sitting in the stroller and often nodding strongly along with her bright “Joo” (yes in Finnish), and pointing things out on the way. Sometimes she just sits still, and it seems like she’s getting herself ready for the day as well.

I share with her the plans for the day as much as with myself to get my mind organized for the day. Speaking our mind, our desires and intentions, out loud is a lot more effective than just thinking about them.

It’s like a meditative mindful walk, being present, connected is a great way to get the day on the right track.

I used to do this with my planner, but now as I don't have too much time while working from home and having a toddler, I've found this to be a helpful way to support myself, feel centered and productive.  

As I do this, I’m ready to get started and can start working right away when I get back home.

A few years ago, before I brought in this kind of habits into my days, I often didn't get much done during the day. Even though I worked long hours and was so busy with my business that I didn't have time for personal life or self-care. And I didn't even have a small child!

I neglected my body, skipped mealtimes, and when things didn't work that well I had a tendency to push myself forward and work even more!

That led to negative cycles, anxiety, and exhaustion until I realized it and made some radical changes. 

Slowing down, bringing in these kinds of habits and ways that give me clarity, and structure for my work has positively affected my performance and energy levels; how I feel about work and myself. Also, I have done a lot of work with my past conditioning, thought patterns and mindset. 

Upgrading the beliefs has allowed me to give myself permission to feel SAFE to know I am enough, do enough and just allow myself to enjoy life and work more. 

That pressure that I felt inside before has released, bringing the feeling of calmness and trusting the process of co-creation.

Are you working at home, or you are forced to work from home or are you in lockdown again?  

Getting yourself intentionally ready for what is to come makes a great difference in how your day goes and ends.

You see different results and feel different: Complete and successful by the end of the day.

Going out for a short walk and getting your body and mind intentionally ready for the day makes miracles on how your day goes. 

You will be more focused, productive, and relaxed - throughout the day

This is why it’s worth making the effort, which it doesn’t actually require that much. Only a little bit conscious awareness and willingness to be well, feel well while getting amazing results.

When you take time to focus on yourself, your well-being you are staying more aware, present, and simply, happier when you are able to see and feel what is going on.

So here’s a recipe for a mindful, grounding, feel-good walk (you can do this anytime during the day and enjoy the benefits):

1) Just get out and walk around a few blocks. Explore the surroundings, like a child. Go slowly, take your time. You will see a lot of details that you might have missed!

2) Feel how you and your body feels & breathe and relax tensions consciously.

3) Set three intentions for your day. Visualize your day from the morning until the evening with the best, your desired outcome.

4) Think about your workday, and where will you start when you go back home so you know what you are going to do first.

Productivity & Success Tip:

Always start with what feels most difficult first in the morning. That tackles the procrastination as your mind is not that distracted yet, and your creativity is high. Then you also minimize the real threat that your mind starts creating all kinds of excuses, denial, and busywork that prevents you from taking action that you actually want and need to take. 

Is this helpful? I'd love to hear from you. What ways help you to get things done efficiently when you're working from home?

Much love, 

Jenni

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The Art of Protecting Your Energy and Celebrating Success.

Many of us are more sensitive to external energies than we think. Often women, who are natural nurturers, have a tendency and a habit to sense other people’s feelings and related energies automatically and unconsciously rush to “help” others with their own emotions. 

This is thought to be compassion and the way of helping others. In the end, it can leave you feeling so low and exhausted that you only think about what hit you. It can feel hard to carry through your days properly.

We can be compassionate and be there for others without giving a piece of ourselves to others, and they will benefit from it as well.

When I started working with people and my self-knowledge and consciousness grew, I started using the tools on how to set personal and energetic boundaries to protect my energy, and stop feeling drained. 

If you are a highly-sensitive empath like me or feel like you suck in other people’s emotions and energies easily, I want you to know there are ways and tools on how to not let that happen. I teach these tools to my clients. 

This kind of self-sabotaging habit is often inherited from earlier generations and our caretakers.
They are often showing up in the relationship dynamics, which often go hand to hand with success and abundance issues.

Through my own and my clients experiences the root cause for this is always related to receiving and self-worth issues. When those are cleared, all the good can flow in.

Also the one common belief women have is that they are afraid to be successful and step in their own power, even they want it.

It’s safe for you to feel what you are feeling. Also JOY, LOVE, and SUCCESS. 

What if… You can choose to not let anything or anyone bring you or your energy down right now, today? 

This is an outrageous and unheard idea for some people. During this strange year, it has become harder for some to feel joy without feeling guilty. But joy, happiness and success needs to be celebrated.

I have been working with a client on her habits and energy. Since working together she has experienced a transformation in her energy and she has started flourishing in every way, her creativity is peaking, relationships are getting better, new work projects show up... 

So when she said that she has had such an amazing week and for the first time she went the feelings of WHOLENESS she felt that she didn’t need the session that week and wanted to reschedule.

To which I gently said that now it’s time to celebrate it and use this new energy for expanding even more- to get her body used to it. 

It’s more than important to celebrate and feel the big and small successes in the body and help the nervous system re-wire with it (this is called neuroplasticity). It’s so much easier to focus on negative than embrace the positive, the good things! This is because the mind is so often wired with negative, and it’s a habit that is based on your beliefs and stories you tell yourself.

Celebrating however, helps to create a new long-lasting tendency on focusing positive good things - so the body can keep receiving, and not only giving. 

This is what embodying success really means and how we keep the good things up and flowing. For example, journaling about positive things is incredibly important and empowering, and expansive.

How to get started with managing your feelings and protecting your energy, so you feel good and safe to do what you need to do without allowing your emotions or fears take hold on you?

I wanted to share an easy, daily practice that you can use anywhere anytime: 

1. Ask yourself if you are willing to feel better?  

2. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, in your mind and your body, and breathe through them. Be with the feeling until it releases. It’s just a feeling.

3. Talk to yourself in empowering ways. Say what you would like to and need to hear from someone else. You can also say “It’s safe for you to feel this xxxxx.”

4. Changing your thoughts, changes your feelings.

5. The point of power is in the present moment.

Try setting an intention to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements and successes, when they happen. With all of the uncertainty in the world, it’s more important now than ever to protect your positive energies and focus on the positives that you can control in your life.

Unapologetically celebrate and enjoy your success, focus on the happiness you feel  and be present in that moment- recognise your authentic power, rippling positively into the world!

When you intentionally pay attention to your little and big wins, you will notice that positivity expands, your creativity will flourish, relationships will improve and everything will seem more aligned and clear. 

I would love to hear your thoughts, what has helped you to feel more centered and successful?

Much love, Jenni

Seeking to be understood: how to deal with emotional triggers

No matter how hard and more we try to explain ourselves or hope that they would understand us... it drives us crazy.

We want them to understand and wish they would appreciate us and value our efforts. 

Why do we get so triggered when someone is not understanding us?

"Being misunderstood brings up so many emotions because for the ego it’s rejection—It’s the original emotional abandonment most of us have experienced as children, who are desperately wanting to be seen, heard, + validated." - the Holistic Psychologist

Her recent post said this particular trauma cycle caused her anger and resentment. She wanted to hide and didn't feel safe in certain situations when she was putting her work out there.

I can relate to that 100%. When I saw her post, there was a huge light bulb hovering above my head as it showed me something so important of my childhood trauma I hadn’t realized. I was able to connect some of the important dots I had missed. 

Why we can't get over the common and understandable misunderstandings and just stay true to our own truth, stand in our power neutrally, with high self-appreciation and acceptance… is coming from childhood patterns and trauma.

Despite the fact that we would like to think so, it's NOT caused by your partner. Blaming others is always the easiest route we would like to take.  

The others mirror our beliefs and patterns.

They are there to purposefully show you what you need to be responsible of so that you can overcome the pattern:

* is then giving us an OPPORTUNITY to heal and change the patterns we are most often sucked in by our parents or caretakers.

* When there's an old emotional wound constantly showing that someone is not understanding us, it makes us feel that they are rejecting us.

* This wound triggers the same emotions as the unhealed trauma, experience or event. 

When we are not conscious of what is causing the trigger, we can't then help but attack, turn against them, defend ourselves and often start the blame cycle.

The child we still have inside us has never been able to heal, get the nurturing, loving understanding and validation she has desperately craved.

The anger, rage, and hurt are getting out of hands when the grown-ups are trying to fulfill their inner child’s emotional needs in the intimate relationships. 

To protect, to keep you safe from experiencing the old pain. 

The same cycles repeat in the relationship until someone, and as there are two in the relationship, chooses a different way and breaks the pattern. To step away from the ego tantrums and start healing herself, or the relationship is ended.

There's so much we can do for ourselves and then for our relationships.

If there is love and we are willing to work through the obstacles any patterns can be changed.

What two people need in any healthy relationship is vulnerability, boundaries, but mainly the ability to listen and be heard is helping a lot and shifts the dynamics quickly.

We only wish we would be seen, heard, validated and accepted as we are.

Can you appreciate yourself, listen to yourself and express your needs? Do you believe you deserve to be heard and validated?

When you learn to soothe your emotions and fulfill your own needs, you keep your cup full. Then you can give and receive love and attention unconditionally.

Much love, Jenni

Thank you Unsplash / Elia Pelligrini for the image.

We are almost on the other side of this

How are you going to start your new normal?

There's been a lot of change, these past few weeks for us.

They have loosened the restrictions in Spain and first we finally, after two months of full lockdown (no going outside except to grocery stores or for necessities!) we got to go out with the kids for a short time in the day. Stella was quite okay, a little hesitant at first but I heard that some older children didn’t want to go out at all anymore. 

Then we got to go out to exercise and now we can meet 10 people at the time (for 1 hour) and some restaurants are open. We got our babysitter back for some a couple of days per week.

Social connections felt weird at first, like practicing again how to be with others physically after all those video calls...  The inside had become our new safety zone. 

Now we are slowly getting back to some sort of normal life but it takes a while, and there are still restrictions. 
There’s a lot to process.

It’s clear we are not going back to the same old, we have changed and the world has changed that’s for sure. 

I know I have changed.

The last few months were more challenging than I thought while going through it. Now I see how we all have been in that weird survival mode, almost fighting for our life and existence.

Now that it has become easier, I have found myself quite tired.

While my daily life didn’t change that much due to lockdown as I work from home and am used to wearing different hats throughout the day; be a mother, business owner, coach, and therapist, and a personal chef and a wife, while taking care of my own wellbeing as well as I could - it’s been A FULL CHAOTIC LIFE. 

I put a lot of efforts for staying emotionally and mentally balanced, using all the tools I have, sometimes multiple times per day, doing short self-care practices, journaling and exercise.

How we got through the 2 months complete lockdown

It was simply about making clear household rules with my husband. Deciding who takes care of the baby, worktimes, a meal plan, shared calendar, and making sure everyone stays sane.

We got to practice this tight togetherness a little bit already before the chaos started as my husband left his day job and we moved to Mallorca in February, so we were somehow settled already, only the place we lived was new.

During the lockdown it sometimes felt like I was living in another planet and there were just the three of us.  

Our temporary 2 bedroom apartment that we had rent for 6 months didn’t allow huge escapes, other than outdoor terraces. It was the agreed daily conversations that were and are still life saviors for us, keeping the connection and mutual understanding alive.

No matter what we have experienced in the last couple of months, it’s clear that we have loved it here. The island is gorgeous, lifestyle suits us and we are now looking for a new home for us to settle in. 

Personally for me when the lockdown started, it started a dive deep into new depths and go through a personal transformation, working through the old habits, and patterns that we suddenly so clear.

Most of it was related to work, the way of working, but affected in all other areas of life - a new level of self-worth and clarity emerged as I peeled the onion again. 

Inner work is not always easy but as I clearly saw it was offering me a needed change I went on. As I worked through it the clarity I got struck a huge amount of creativity in me and I birthed the free course for quarantine, and Thrive through The Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you. I have written and studied a lot. Somehow I made time for it; when there’s the motivation the time and resources always show up.

I’m obsessed about my work but also working with myself, I just love love love to learn new, change and then being able to expand the next level.

During this transformation I have allowed myself to start to lean even deeper into my intuition and visions even more and use it more for making decisions. It’s the only truth we can trust in the time of uncertainty and worries this crisis has raised in us. The unknown future has always been there but now when the secure foundation was shaken in so many ways it, the future can feel like a scary black hole.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING - OUTSIDE OF WORK AND CHAOS? 

If you have been getting new insights and know that old ways won’t work anymore, I invite you in to check out the Thrive through the Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you,  that I designed for this time of transition to new normal, so if you feel called and know it’s time to start creating new, this course will give you the strength, resilience, and confidence you need for it.

The course won’t be happening in this format anymore and now you get an incredible amount of value with my coaching and healing included so join us now…  

Warmly,

Jenni
 

Make your mind work for you- turn off the autopilot and stop working harder

Does it feel like no matter how hard you work or how much effort you put in it feels like a force that you have no control over is keeping you stuck, repeating the same old- staying stuck?

This is happening when your conditioning and subconscious mind simply don’t support your aims and desires. This is the real root cause for the reason why most people stop making their big visions and goals real. It can feel impossible...

Here’s a thing.

Your conscious mind is engaged in creative imagination, which controls your wishes and desires. Yes, your brain is the mini-universe that commands your wishes, invites in what you want. So it’s good to be consciously aware of what you want to invite in.

The conscious mind is run and ruled by your subconscious mind; your autopilot.

Have you ever read a self-help book, attended a class, or watched a video where you got so excited about all the new information and felt inspired to take action to improve your life? 

Your mind starts to explode positivity with all the new ideas and how you are going to put the theory into practice. Yet after a few days, months, and even years- you are still in the same.

Your life remains the same because it was your conscious mind that picked up the information and enhanced your awareness, but the message - your desires - didn’t engage with your subconscious programming that has other, much more powerful ideas; the beliefs you have formed earlier in your life. 

So when you are struggling with the same patterns, feeling stuck and are unable to make the changes that you crave so badly but you have no control over… It’s happening because of the way your mind has been “programmed” to believe by your earlier life experiences. 

This happens in early childhood by observing other people of which your life then becomes an expression of their behavior, their words, their beliefs that they have often learned from their caretakers.  

When I work with the clients in hypnosis quite amazing things occur and it shows how fast, how powerful and how precisely the mind is working and connecting with the body. It’s like a computer, only smarter than that.

These are the three most common beliefs that pretty much cover all the personal variations.

• You can’t do the changes to have what you want… 

• It doesn’t belong to you… 

• There is something wrong with you... 

The most common belief my clients have is that “I’m not good enough and therefore I don’t deserve to have and do what I really want.”

The mind is only trying to keep you safe in the familiar and protect you from taking any “risks” dive into the unknown. The fear is keeping you stuck if you are not sure what are your big visions and what is that what you really want. Another issue can be that you can’t split them into doable daily tasks.

Or you have a subconscious block that is being triggered every time you try to move forward.

Your life is not controlled by the conscious mind but rather by the subconscious mind.

Even before you logically knew what you wanted and desired, your subconscious had already been programmed and habits had already been formed.

So how do you know what your programs are?

By doing the inner work and start removing and healing the old blocks and patterns. That helps you dive into the path of self-knowledge, self-acceptance and you will get the answers that offer you clarity and the freedom to be you, fulfill your real potential and make your wildest visions real.

95% of our life comes as a printout of our subconscious programming. 

Your life, your reality now is an expression of your mental programming; your thoughts and feelings that activate the beliefs related to anything in life. 

The things that have come into our lives easily are there because there is the right kind of empowering beliefs & stories related to them.

For example; I have a great belief that I always find special and amazing apartments and homes and I manifest them confidently.

This is something I created through trial and error, accidental manifestation. When I bought my first apartment I couldn’t find anything good in the price range. Time was an issue and I needed a new home. One night I scribbled a detailed list of features on my notebook and forgot it.

A year later I found the notebook and tears came to my eyes as I was living exactly in the apartment I had described, it was modern, penthouse, full of light. The path there was not that simple but all that effort I put into renovation was worth it.

I have personally had to work to improve all areas of my life by unblocking the subconscious that has hold me back in relationships, with my business, health, habits, and wellbeing.

What becomes available as you rewrite the beliefs and embody deeply your authentic, conscious desires and goals?

When you become aware of your thoughts, and feelings and learn how to connect this all with your mind, it becomes easy and really powerful. I teach all this in my Conscious Creator program (part of Embody Your Real Power membership)

• You are able to re-align your habits of thinking, feeling, and behaving so that you can take the right kind of action. 

• You open yourself up to receiving and feeling how you want and a new level of self-worth emerges as you know that what you want is available for you.  

• You are to do what you truly want without having that much resistance, struggle and fear that is again, only trying to keep you “safe” from the unknown. Our mind LOVES to keep us familiar in quite unbelievable ways, often affecting what happens in the body.

how to reprogram your subconscious mind & reinforce new beliefs: 

1. Become aware of what is the pattern you want to change and what you want to manifest, achieve or have. What are the negative beliefs you have running in your mind related to it? Write them all down.

2. Do a meditation, go deep in relaxation, and start looking back in your life. What are the memories related to these beliefs? What happened? From who did you learn these beliefs? Heal the situation like you wanted and needed it to go. Let go and forgive. This is pretty much a self-hypnosis.

3. Visualize the change in your mind. Journal about it. Feel how it feels when you have it. This is how you manifest new into your life. Just before you go to sleep and when you wake up, your mind is in a perfectly calm state.

4. Connect with your vision and repeat every night or morning.

5. To replace the old subconscious beliefs you need to rewrite them with the new beliefs. Spend 5- 10 minutes every day on each belief that you have and write a new self-empowering belief.

Your mind learns by repetition so this requires consistency, reinforcement, and repetition. The memories, powerful events or sometimes just little things (I know this from my hypnotherapy practice) from the past created the blocks and patterns so that’s why it’s necessary to heal the beliefs and limitations of the younger version of you. It can be a big trauma or just someone saying something that hits you in the wrong way.

In deep meditation or hypnotic state, you can access the root causes of emotional and mental patterns, behavior and the beliefs that are holding you back now and change them quickly.

Implement these methods into your daily routine, turn off the autopilot, and take back control to achieve your authentic goals and desires.

If you want and need help to break through the plateau, the blocks that are holding you back from your next level of success and happiness, I can help. In my practice, I combine hypnosis, subconscious energy healing work, psychology, mindfulness, high-performance habits, and transformational coaching.

If working harder is not an option for you… work with entrepreneurs, business leaders, and people who are ready to break the plateau and make the impossible possible. Start booking a complimentary Clarity call with here.

So now… I’d love to hear about your visions and how have you made them real! Were you able to recognize the tiny but mighty mindset shift that happened for you so you made it real with grace and ease?

Love Jenni x

Why Fake It Till You Make It doesn't work.

When I first started reprogramming my mind with the new positive beliefs by using affirmations and doing mirror work it felt so awkward to me.

Mirror work means that you watch yourself in the eyes and repeat the positive statements over and over again.

I already knew when we change the inside, our stories and beliefs, we become free to do and create what we want.

Our mind learns by repetition, but...

I felt nothing goes in, things that I say to myself won’t work like “I love you and accept you” felt like, yeah right. It didn’t feel much of anything.

I was afraid of my negative thoughts that naturally occurred were ruining all the work I had done. I was wondering if I did something wrong, didn’t say things to myself often enough, and that my negative thought patterns were unbreakable.

Soon I started feeling… maybe there was something wrong with me, thinking that I was never able to make the changes and have what I wanted.

However… My desires and needs were much bigger than my beliefs.

Just because I had seen other people having what I wanted; they had been able to break through their fears, jump off their corporate treadmills, and start their heart-based businesses that were based on their calling and passions.

I felt jealous of seeing others feeling content and able to enjoy their accomplishments. I envied people being completely accepted in their happy relationships.

And just because someone had done it, it gave me hope to keep going and knowing that I could have it too.

Even MORE than external accomplishments I wanted to stop repeating self-sabotaging cycles, feel calm and grounded, and good about myself inside - right there, knowing that I was enough and had done enough.

I had literally run since I was a little girl because I was always so busy and late. There were so many things to do and I was fast! But that anxious restlessness exhausted me for a long time.

Later I understood it was because I didn’t feel like I was belonging anywhere. That actually kept me constantly on the move and searching for something different, better- was actually a feeling that I was searching for.

Feeling that I am enough.

So before I was able to move forward and create what I wanted, I needed to know deep down in my gut that I am enough and worthy of receiving what I desired.

Affirmations and belief work are a powerful way to teach your mind to think better thoughts, change habits and create new patterns whether you want to expand your career, relationships, finances, or prepare yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work, like I did.

Before I became a Rapid Transformational Therapist and hypnotherapist over 3 years ago, I had already been helping my clients to change their unconscious blocks and patterns with my coaching methods years. But it took quite a long time and it was hard work, sometimes we were not knowing if it was the right thing we were working on.

As long as there are old patterns, mental or emotional blocks it is hard to step into your power and make those changes. The subconscious mind controls the beliefs and the mindset which defines what is available for us to manifest.

It either keeps you stuck in the painful comfort zone or lets you feel free to take action and expand.

So I was wondering if there were a better, more reliable, and faster method to access unconscious beliefs and release the root cause of it.

Then I met Marisa Peer in Los Angeles and was hypnotized for the first time. Her RTT method was the answer that I had been looking for. Since my training with her, I have used this incredible method successfully with hundreds of clients with so many different issues.

And for sure, I’ve used RTT to help myself to heal my own wounds, get over the fears, and create the fulfilling life that I now enjoy living.

I am on the mission to empower you and support you to know that you thrive through the crisis, get over the obstacles, and come out of this more resilient, more confident, and more powerful than ever.

If that’s what you want I am inviting a free full RTT “I’m enough” workshop and experience how does it feel to confidently know it and start fearlessly making the changes you crave.

* If you endlessly compare yourself to others and think of why you can’t have what they have...

* If you feel like invisible strings are pulling you back every time you try to move forward and make the changes...

* If you feel like there’s a pattern you recognize but you still are not able to change it...

* If your heart is saying, ‘It’s my time’...

There's only one belief you need.

Jenni xo

Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

• Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

• Get out from your own way and emotions.

• Make changes consciously.

• Choose to behave differently.

• Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

Are you waiting for the right time and things be perfect?

Hello!

It’s been a while since I sat down to write to you. Having baby Stella at the end of December started a completely new phase of life, and a life-long duty, called motherhood. I have loved being with the little one and having a family has changed my life in so many good ways.

Baby is now on her long afternoon nap and the house is quite a mess. My mind reminded me there are tons of “better” things to do than sit down to write to you, which I have tried to finish I don’t know how many times.

Before her birth I planned to take a few months off from working with clients and enjoy this precious time and possibility to be with her, while writing and taking care of the other side of my business aside. I have this urge to create and contribute and I’m used to work a lot -- it’s simply part of my nature and I love what I do.

It’s been a challenge to combine these two desires.

The last months have been transformational: basically all areas of life have demanded adjustments and inner work, while going through a massive personal upgrade and identity change that motherhood often puts us through.

I’m lucky I had a chance to stay at home and take time to be with the baby, heal after the birth and take my time to adjust for the first couple of months. (It should be a birthright for the new moms and their babies.)

After things got a little steadier and I had more time, it started weighing on me why I didn’t take time for myself and do what’s important to me.

I had crafted a solid, easygoing plan on how to get started again. Baby is sleeping on schedule, so I pretty much know when and how much time I have. My husband is happy to be with the baby after work and on the weekends.

I ran out of excuses, so I stopped to see what was going on.

• I was comparing myself to others… when I looked at other people with newborn children in social media I thought what’s wrong with me. They seemed to have everything in order and were living a picture-perfect life, there were no signs of greasy hair or old yoga pants.  

• Continuous distractions got me off track... When I got back to it this highly critical inner voice said what I’d created is not good enough, so I started writing something else and then ended up not finishing anything.

• I waited for a better time... when this chaos and overwhelm would pass; baby getting through growth spurts; learning to eat from the bottle; when I have a babysitter and so forth…  

I didn’t give myself permission to start until everything would be perfect.

I have a lot to share about this so called “mom guilt” that hit me, the need to be perfect, irreplaceable, micromanage and do something all the time, mainly to show myself that I'm a good enough mother, and not abandoning my child if I take some time for myself.

I realized there will always be something going on and life with kids is overwhelming and chaotic, but also fun and happy.

So I decided…

… to stop letting these learned ideals, patterns and my inner stories control me.

… to stop cleaning the house out of the “mom habit” when the baby sleeps.

… 15 minutes is a long time and I work when I can. When I can’t, I relax.

… it’s finally time to let go of perfectionism. I simply don’t have time for it anymore.

I gave myself a permission to do things I want to do and adjust it all to this new life.

If we are not trying and doing what calls us, we never know what’s possible.

If we let fear-based stories lead life or if we constantly compare ourselves to others it certainly destroys creativity and courage and we never dare to put ourselves out there.

It doesn’t matter at what stage of life you are or what you want to do. May it related to your career, relationships, your personal goals or big dreams. You got to start from somewhere.

Are you waiting until things are perfect? To get started, ask yourself:

• What are your excuses or stories that you tell yourself?

• Are you sure they are true?

• If you took action now, how would it make you feel?

To make this blog happen I sought advice from my blog on how to boost productivity by using this brilliant method that helps you remove distractions and resistance, and get things done fast when time is limited. Read it here

Let me know in the comments below if this resonates.

Love, Jenni

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Reflect on your year before setting New Year resolutions

The Holidays will soon be over here... I know you must be busy finishing up everything so you can relax for a couple of days before welcoming the New Year and setting your resolutions and visions.

I hope your year has been as successful and full of joy as you intended it to be. And I hope you are feeling proud of yourself (this was one of my “feeling” intentions for 2018) and those conscious accomplishments you made real this year.

Even if you feel that this year really sucked and you would just rather move forward without thinking about any of the mistakes or failures (that we all have had), hiding your head in the sand doesn’t help.

In fact, it does the opposite and only makes you carry those issues forward and replay them over and over again.

Nothing new can be built on regrets or resentment. You need to take the lessons and clean your mental and emotional closets to create space for the new.

So before you rush yourself to the new year… take some the time yet to stop and reflect on 2018.

Closing the book of life yearly is mentally, spiritually and emotionally as important as finalizing your bookkeeping and doing your taxes. Yes, we need to face the ugly truth and that’s helping you to let go of it. 

Making these end of year reflections is needed for reasons:

• You will clearly see how you have actually done and what you have accomplished (self-empowerment & praise!).

• You become free from self-blame and resentment (forgiveness).

• You know what is working or not working for you (wisdom).

• You can learn from your obstacles (growth).

After you have done this exercise, you can let yourself off the hook - the table is clean and you have clarity and your head is full of wonderful insights. You’ll feel free to plan your life forward.

Here’s how to reflect on your past year:

1. Make a nice cup of something and get a piece of paper or your journal.

2. If you have one, get out your list of desires and goals or your calendar of the year.

3. Start from January and go through your life month by month and list all the accomplishments and good things that happened during your year.

   • Think of the reasons why it worked out so wonderfully for you.

   • Don’t hold yourself back from paying attention to “small” things - they are just as important.  

4. Next make a list of things that didn’t work out: goals you didn’t achieve, mistakes or failures that happened.

   • Ask yourself what could you have done differently?

   • Write down the reasons why you think it didn’t work out. This is not to blame yourself, others or the circumstances. Reflect objectively.

   • What can you learn from it?

5. Go through your reflections to see what’s working for you, what makes you happy and what you want to continue doing next year - but also what do you need to let go of and clear from your plate.

It’s really empowering to clean the clutter and boldly remove some of the old things hanging on our to do lists that will never ever happen.

By doing this kind of exercise yearly you will stop repeating the same cycles and can change things confidently.

But also, we are often so hard on ourselves and too busy to praise ourselves enough... so celebrate your accomplishments!  

Then it’s time to set those powerful intentions, goals and desires for the next year.

If it’s not part of your yearly routine yet I highly recommend making a list of intentions and desires for 2019. It’s a simple list of everything you want to have, be and create during the next year and this - the power of intention - is proven to work really well.

This is my personal way to start the New Year and it’s amazing to go back to those old desires at the end of year and witness how amazingly things have flowed forward, how much I have done and achieved - and simply seeing clearly what do I need to let go.

If you have a question or another practice or exercise you like to use, please share in the comments below.

Much love and Happy Holidays,

Jenni

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download the free visualization meditation

My early childhood experiences blocked me from making money and allowing success

I was not different from other little girls when I was dreaming about being a ballet dancer at the age of five.

I’ve always been an aesthete, picky about the colors and clothes I put on, and I love flowing movement combined with everything beautiful.   

Last Spring I was in Nice, France for a long-awaited girls' weekend with my sister. On Sunday morning I went for a run on the beach promenade and on my way there I saw a gorgeous ballet tutu in a window.

I stopped to admire it and an old memory just popped up from nowhere.

I was born in a tiny village in the East of Finland and there were no proper ballet schools around.

I was living the dream when I heard a ballet teacher was on tour and would come to our suburb to teach a ballet course, and when my parents agreed, after a lot of convincing and stubborn begging, that I could go and they even bought me a simple white ballet tutu. I wore it at home all the time!  

I got to go to a couple of classes. Then the teacher disappeared.

Everyone was worried about her.

When the truth came out - she had left and stolen the money everyone had paid - it was a huge shock to our community and my family. There was a lot of hatred towards her.

I was devastated. I couldn’t believe how someone so nice, who was teaching and representing something so beautiful, could do that.

My father had to go to court to be a witness.

I remember I was afraid that they would take him too! I didn’t understand the whole thing and no one was even trying to explain it to me. My parents didn’t understand how much it was affecting me.

It was my first huge disappointment and my first experience of betrayal and crime.

She smashed my dream and the whole experience left deep wounds in me. I never got to go to the ballet classes, however I never say never but believe it’s never too late to learn new if we are willing.   

While this happened many decades ago, when I started working with it I found that these profound self-limiting beliefs were still someways affecting me.

When I got into it and did the work, I recognized the beliefs that were limiting me in many areas of life:

• It’s not safe for me to trust people: anyone can take away my success and dreams.

• I always need to be alert and in control to avoid disappointments and hurt.

• Money is evil and causes a lot of trouble for everyone.

All this had caused procrastination, which made me struggle with unworthiness, pushing myself forward and then pulling myself back before achieving my goals successfully.  

I couldn’t believe I still had these stories in me!

I had hidden this painful memory deep down until it suddenly triggered and only then could I start releasing these beliefs that sabotaged my happiness and success.

It all shifted quickly when I realized the connection, what caused it, and how it made me think and act.

Old hurts and beliefs are not necessarily affecting you in similar situations to the way you experienced them.

Usually, the blocks trigger different kinds of situations, which are bringing up the same emotion.

These early memories and experiences keep us from getting and doing what we want, limiting our ability to naturally expand and take our life to the next level; start new things; change our habits and patterns; receive love, success, and abundance.

Therefore, releasing the emotional attachment of the old painful experiences is the key to changing our patterns and habits, setting ourselves free to create a life, relationships and career that we want.

There is always an explanation for it, we are not powerless against our self-beliefs or victims of our past: when you change your mind you can change your thoughts and habits.

With love,

Jenni

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related article

How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations READ HERE

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6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation. 

Related Course

6-weeks to becoming a Conscious Creator Online program

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Visualization workshop: Create your vision board and learn how to manifest your desires

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Do you think affirmations are not working for you? Learn how to use affirmations successfully 

Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

• When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

• You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

• You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

• Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

How To Make Confident Decisions

People would rather avoid making decisions (sometimes for years!) than think it through and face what they need to face. They don’t feel ready to make the decision that would take away all the pressure and move things forward quickly.

Indecisiveness is a very common habit. Yes, a habit.

It is based on self-doubt; insecurities; fear or lack of courage; and simply an inability to listen to the self and inner truth.

In more serious situations, it causes procrastination, anxiety, low self-image, addictions, and even suffering to others.

I remember when I was younger and hung out with my girlfriends. Together we discussed whether someone should send a text to her date or not; or if someone should stop dating a guy; or what that guy really meant by what he’d said. Or where the heck he disappeared to!

No one advised that we should just ask the guy, or even asked the girl what she thought would be the right thing for her to do.

And of course, it went on and on with almost everything: what to wear; or eat; what to do in life; and so forth. It was not really about giving empowering advice or allowing the one who was looking for help to decide for herself.

It was just endless comparison, which most often is based on the other person’s life views and experiences (often insecurities, jealousy, and disappointments). Usually, the one who everyone tried to help just felt more confused and indecisive.

Maybe you can relate to this?

The more people we ask, the more varying opinions we get. And the more lost we may feel.

Comparison destroys clarity and confidence.

What’s behind it

Often it’s a learned belief that others are more capable of making choices for them. Sometimes it’s a need to please and a conflicted way to earn love and acceptance.

Or they are afraid of judgment, of being seen as too bossy, ambitious, or powerful if they make confident decisions and know and express what they want.

There can be a deep fear of making mistakes or of failure.

However, we can fail and things can go terribly wrong just because decisions are not made early enough.

They feel they can gain more confidence and hide their insecurities by letting other people make decisions or listening to other’s opinions.

Some people struggle with making decisions because they don’t want to take responsibility for their lives and the results of their choices.

But no one else can make the right choices for you, no one knows better than you; it’s something you must do for yourself.

That’s why I usually advise that people only talk with someone who they trust and who will be wise enough to stay away from pushing their own opinions or agenda.

There’s a difference between helping someone to find their truth and telling them what they should do.

Letting other people make decisions for you means giving your power and control away.

Don’t give the lead in your life to others: everything in your life should be based on the choices you make.

With simple choices, it’s not that big a deal but with major life decisions, it’s dangerous.

Take initiative in your own life.  

Here are 10 key things I have learned about confidence:

1. Confidence is the ability to hear your ideas, thoughts, and feelings and trust them.

2. It is built through repeated acts of everyday courage to say yes and no.

3. It is an empowering feeling that replaces your existing habits of self-doubt and fear.

4. It’s not a fixed skill that some people have and some don’t. Everyone has fears and insecurities.

5. No problem or worry exists if you can do something about it. There are always solutions and possibilities. Trust and wait until you know.

6. When you change your behavior you change your mind(set), and your physics (energy) - those two things will start to change the situation.

7. Criticism, procrastination, self-doubt or victimizing all lead to lower confidence and decreased self-esteem.

8. Feelings are natural, but your behavior and thoughts are a choice - by changing your thoughts you can create more positive feelings.

9. Lack of clarity and self-control can feel like a confidence issue.

10. Practice your confidence and decision making skills by stopping shortly before you make any decisions. Ask yourself what is the right thing for you and then decide if it’s a YES or NO.

Sometimes “I don’t know” is a very good answer and you can take time until you know.  

Great decisions are always made when the heart, mind, and gut are connected.

Before you reach that point, quiet down and sit with yourself to get really clear on what you want and need:

• What is the question you need an answer to?

• How would you want things to go?

• What are the options?

• What feels right for you?

Recognize the feelings and fears. Are they really, absolutely true and worth holding on to? Stop listening to what the world says you should do. When you really think about it, you cannot know if your worst fear will come true, we cannot avoid risks.

Deep inside you know what you want.

Often the answer is an intuitive feeling, something that you have probably “known” all the time.

It’s okay if it feels a little intimidating, as that's when it’s usually right. Most often the best decisions come from doing the thing that scares you.

Nothing changes if you don’t change it. Life is unknown.

Expect the positive best outcome. Trust that everything always works for you.

Trust your gut and respect yourself by making your own decisions.  

To help you make the changes and decisions faster, I wanted to share my transformational, super relaxing courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

Click here to access this free meditation audio. To get more inspiration, join my weekly newsletter here.

Much love,

Jenni

The Glad Show with Laureen Ellison: I didn't only want a new job but a whole new life

On this episode of the Glad Show I talk with one of my clients, Laureen Ellison, who was able to dramatically change her life. We look at what changed and why, and talk about how Laureen consciously created the circumstances for this big leap in her career and life.

Why it's important to get really clear About what you want

Laureen is a successful powerhouse and a career woman in marketing and communications. She is the breadwinner of her family, mom of two and she loves travel, sports, and design. Today she’s living in Amsterdam with her family after living in New York City for more than 10 years.

In this conversation, Laureen is sharing what she did and how she was able to change from the  frustrating “not knowing” (other than she wanted something else, a new, bigger life but she didn’t know what it was or how to get access to it) mode to self-awareness and daily connection to self.  Trusting that she has what it takes to lead her life towards her desires consciously.

In just a couple of months Laureen made a big leap and shifted her life consciously based on her real desires: she found a new exciting job that took her and her family to live abroad, getting to travel to exotic places, while at the same time the new day to day life allows more time to be present and enjoy her family.  

All this is what she at some point thought was impossible. 

We talk about:

• What’s required for upleveling your career.

• How you become free to know what you really want next.

• How the culture and external demands often lead us far away from happiness, who we are and what we can do in life.

• What to do when the challenges come and it feels like there’s a bump in the road.

• The ways to start manifesting the big desires to come true.

• What the recipe to being successful and content in all areas of life is.

And much more!

This episode is great for anyone who wants to change their career and take it to the next level. For those who want to follow their passions but can’t currently connect to what it is they should do next or how to make the big shifts and move consciously forward.

Watch it here

After you have watched leave a comment below and share your thoughts or any questions you might have! 

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more.

How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations

Talk yourself into success and start consciously creating your life

We have all heard of affirmations: positive statements you repeat to yourself over and over. Their aim is to override old subconscious programming and change negative thought patterns and beliefs; in doing this, you set yourself free to do and achieve what you want, be it improving your health, career, relationships, finances or preparing yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work.

This is due to lack of specificity and knowledge of how to create affirmations that work personally for them in their specific situations.

Why affirmations may not work:

• You don’t fully believe in your goal or what you are saying to yourself.

• You’re using negative or future-oriented language in your affirmations, which is confusing to the mind which only operates in the present.  

• You are not aware of or paying attention to your mind’s objections.

• There is a subconscious block that is powerfully resisting the changes you desire.

• You don’t take the action that is needed to move forward.

To make affirmations work successfully, you need to first discover what thought patterns and objections you have. Thought patterns are based on past negative experiences that you hold in your mind. These are stored in your subconscious, which always affects your behavior, thoughts, feelings, and actions in different situations.

If you struggle in some area of life and feel that you can’t do what you want to do, then there are some learned limiting beliefs and subconscious blocks that keep you stuck in your situation. Luckily, we can release these self-limiting beliefs and blocks, and creating personal affirmations is one of the ways you can.

A Simple Exercise to Create Your Affirmations

Here's one simple exercise you can do to help reveal your limiting beliefs and create affirmations that work for you:

• Write your desire or goal down: what is it that you want to achieve?

• Get quiet and turn inward to listen.

• Ask yourself: why is it not possible?

• Write out all the objections your mind comes up with.

• Keep going until there aren't any objections coming up.

• When you have emptied your mind of objections, go through the statements and shift the sentences to positive.

• Use clear, authoritative, positive commands in the present tense: I feel, I can, I have, I am…

For example, say you want to elevate your career to the next level and find your dream job, but struggle with the habit of procrastination. You have all kinds of excuses as to why you don’t do the things you need to do (e.g., update your resume, make connections, etc.). For some reason, you keep yourself from following through with your plans.

To quit the habit of procrastination to find your dream job, you want to discover the self-limiting beliefs and emotional reasons behind the procrastination, and writing down the objections will show you these. You may think for instance, “What I want does not exist,” “It’s too risky to change jobs now,” “I’m not educated enough,” etc. All these self-limiting beliefs are raising inner fears: fear of the unknown, fear of success, or fear of failure.

When the subconscious objections come to the surface, you will often realize they are not true, and that already helps to release them. To empower your mind and believe new thoughts, create positive statements, such as: “I’m open for new possibilities,’” “It’s my time now,” “I have everything I need for my dream job.”     

Used consistently, affirmations will help you reprogram your mind and change your habits, which will change your reality.

How to use your affirmations:

• Repeat the affirmations consistently and daily, and write them down. It takes about 21 days to change any habit.

• Use your imagination to visualize and meditate on what you’re affirming — feel like you would if you already had what you’re affirming.

• Keep your affirmations where you can see them every day (phone, journal, Post-Its) so your mind has a better chance of accepting your new truth.

• Motivate and encourage yourself by remembering your desire and its purpose, the reason behind the reason—why it’s so important for you!

Affirmations are an incredibly powerful way to increase self-belief, courage and help you expand your life. Knowing what you want is the first step to having it—and simply convincing your mind that you can have it will help you change your habits and make it your reality.

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here!

With love and gratitude,
Jenni