Most people don't know I suffered from the recurrent skin condition eczema and food allergies quite badly for most of my life.
It started when I was 12 as an itchy rash on my face and neck and several food allergies that would just come and go.
I adjusted and was used to being on a limited diet and alternating it. I went through all treatments there were, but nothing helped.
My skin was treated topically with creams, but no one looked at what happened under the skin condition, the emotions or the mind.
There's no medical explanation for eczema like it would come out of nowhere. I learned allergies couldn't be healed, that I was just sensitive, and they run in the family.
Then, I wrote a book proposal a few years ago: The rash flared up badly.
I was so itchy, scratching my scalp and face. I felt super pressured, anxious and tense in my body when I wrote it, trying to make my dream of writing a book real.
I was not able to connect the dots then.
I limited my diet to find out it was caused by oatmeal and wheat. My allergy tests showed all kinds of sensitivities. I reacted to fruits, vegetables and spices too.
I was forced to be fashionably gluten-free, but I dreamed of eating pizza and all those carbs. The limitations made me feel limited.
About a year after I became a mother, it got worse again.
I had finally cured the recurrent UTIs; eczema got bad and painful.
In the middle of the pandemic, all I wanted to do was to show up and help, but my skin kept me trapped. A lot was going on in my personal life.
People have and are healing eczema with hypnotherapy quickly, in just a few sessions, also with me. As a hypnotherapist and coach, my clients make radical transformations and healing, so it was hard to understand why the methods didn’t help me.
I worked with the best practitioners, RTT therapists and healers, but NOTHING worked for me. For some reason, we didn't hit the core of the issue.
I felt helpless and hopeless. I stopped doing sessions and started working on myself, thinking I knew best and using all methods and tools I knew.
I was researching and intuitively trying new things.
My face was like a traffic light directed by my emotions and thoughts. The rash manifested in a couple of minutes and took three days to heal until it happened again a few days later.
I became afraid and avoidant of situations that could have caused irritation, conflicts or fiery emotions.
It is not easy to show up and be visible with a rash on the face and swollen and dry wrinkled red skin. It started affecting my work, too, as I went up and down emotionally. I wanted to hide.
At some point, I gave up and went to see a special dermatologist.
I wanted all creams, but he gave me one non-medical skin cream and said I needed to work on stress and put tea bags on my skin. He knew it was internal.
Just keep going, I thought; something has to work.
I used a combination of hypnosis, subconscious healing, energy and emotional work.
I coached myself and changed the patterns and habits systematically, chasing and connecting the dots from the past and looking into what triggered all of that in the present.
I knew the root cause was unsafety, created by anxiety and fear; I didn't feel comfortable in my skin, safe to express myself and my emotions; I was never validated and didn’t believe I could receive equality. My mind and body didn’t feel safe.
When things were terrible, one pair of thought-emotion started a quick flare-up.
Which is when I got the confidence that it was not food related. I was sensitive and allergic to my feelings.
Over the years, my body had been convinced it needed to create a reaction to certain foods, and the mind kept me “safe” from harm and punished me for being “bad.”
There was an old traumatic memory related to oatmeal when I was 5, I was overpowered and forced to finish my meal. My body responded by starting the allergies. I worked and integrated with that lonely and rejected inner child and relationship.
I took these pictures in 2020-2021. Not because I wanted to remember how bad I looked and felt but because I believed I would rise and heal and share this story.
In those pictures where I smile, I feel good, loving and accepting towards myself, no matter how I looked. This was a big win creating the energy that I needed for healing.
There were moments when I wondered if I'd be like that for the rest of my life and felt depressed, lonely and helpless. But my desire to heal, my purpose, and the need to find the solution were bigger than that, so I kept going.
It was incredible to notice results as I tapped into the core. HUGE! I kept doing what I was doing, but I was afraid at the same time it wouldn’t last.
But it worked. To tackle the fear that it would come back, I kept talking to my body; I had a new inner dialogue. Still, it took 1,5 years to dare to share this story! Soon I felt empowered and strong in my body and my skin. The emotions didn't cause reactions anymore.
I tried some foods, and they didn't cause any reactions. It was amazing, unbelievably freeing that after all those years.
When I was able to eat pasta, pizza, tomato sauce, spicy food and all kind of fruits and vegetables, I realized I had cracked the code!
It was so amazing that I gained a few kilos. It was all worth it and went quickly as I got myself out and exercised more again.
And here’s what I learned:
If I hadn’t gone through all this struggle and stood up for myself, chosen myself and my well-being, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy food and life this freely. I wouldn’t feel as energized and aware as I am now.
If I wouldn’t have asked for help, I’d probably have been stuck in the same place. Even if we don’t get the exact results we want, we will always move on as we show up to ourselves and feel worthy enough to receive help.
If wouldn’t have believed I was worthy of being healthy and insisted on it, I wouldn’t have all this knowledge, tools and the Purpose Path healing method I created along the way that I now get to offer to others.
If I wouldn’t have struggled with this so intensively, I’d still be dependent on looking for safety, answers, solutions and acceptance externally. I learned to take full responsibility for where I am, trust and support myself, and embody my power.
If I wouldn’t have all those certifications and investments I have made for my personal and professional growth, I wouldn’t have known how incredibly powerful our mind-body-emotions connection is, and that nothing is coming out of nowhere. There is a reason and a cause. And by the way, anxiety is a symptom. It’s not a cause.
If I hadn’t trusted that I’d find a way and I could be like I had once been, I wouldn’t be here to share this story with you and say that whatever you are going through in your life now, you can change it, you can heal, you can grow, you can be well and happy and make your dreams and goals real.
You are capable, and you have what you need.
Just don’t give up.
Keep trusting and believing in yourself.
I’d also love to hear from you; what have you been able to heal and overcome? Share your story in the comments below!
Much love Jenni
P.S. This is what I do to help others. I offer personalized programs, workshops and online courses. If you are ready, feel free to book a Clarity call with me to talk about your situations and possibilities. You can also check out my online offerings in the store.