confidence

Prioritize work-life balance and well-being over everything: it's the foundation of your life, success and happiness

I used to spend my weekends from recovering the stressful overbusy workweek.

With my colleagues, we joked that we should measure each other's heart rates to see who had worked the hardest and had the busiest work week.

I often experienced arrhythmia on Fridays. I was barely in my thirties. 

On Saturdays, I woke up feeling groggy and exhausted, both mentally and physically. If I hadn’t a slight hangover from winding the week down with wine. 

On Sundays, I felt better but anticipated Mondays and the breathless busy work week again.

My friends knew I didn’t like Sundays. They didn’t know that it was because I felt depressed and so dull and low in energy on those days.

But I didn’t know any other way to work, to be, to live.

I didn’t even believe I could feel good, calm, and soothe my emotions and stress levels quickly. I couldn’t think of other ways to live because my mindset and beliefs were so limited.

I had started going to yoga a few years before. Breathing properly once a week and opening up my stiff, stressed-out body felt amazing.

I felt the shame of my stiffness, barely able to do poses, but did it anyway, even though I thought it’d take forever to get those steel-like muscles to melt. It was the best way to learn self-acceptance. 

After the class, I walked home slowly.

Feeling so balanced, calm, and happy, hoping the good feeling would stay a little longer. 

But it always vanished. Even years later.

My teacher tried to encourage me to start a meditation practice at home. 

I said I didn’t know how but mainly, it was more about not knowing how to be with myself, face my thoughts, and all of myself in the quietness.

It felt scary, too vulnerable, weird and uncomfortable.

Like I didn’t want to allow, myself to relax and feel good as I was. I was so used to being stressed out.

To help with the stress and melt the tension. I had great resistance to it. I said I don’t know how to do it right, but I was afraid to face my thoughts and feelings - me - and what would come up, how it would change me.  

A couple of years later, IT happened. 

Something I had anticipated and been afraid of: I dropped on the couch. I was completely burned out, struggling with insomnia and myself hard.

I realized the external would never change if I wouldn’t. I needed to take back control from all the over giving.  

Then I was ready to start breathing and take time for myself, prioritize myself and get to know who I really was. 

A couple of years later, I had a new exciting job and separated from a long-time relationship. I had all the time to work and decided to focus on my career; I was often the last one at the office, somehow thinking work needed me. 

With new social networks and hobbies, I kept myself distracted and busy without being able to see myself or feel my feelings. 

Soon I was suffering from insomnia and continuous respiratory infections.    

I knew I was not well, afraid that I would drop on the couch. 

It happened after a short work trip to Paris.   

I didn’t know what to do or who could help, but I knew I needed to do something. 

I didn’t have peers or trusted mentors or coaches who to turn to; coaching was not there yet. 

I just couldn’t talk about it at work.

The doctor was not able to help other than medically. I tried therapy. 

One said I needed to get better friends and I’d find new love soon. 

The other one said at the first appointment that I should think of my biological clock. I felt there was a time bomb inside of me. 

Conception was not exactly the first thing on my mind. Part of the burnout was the end of the 7-year relationship, which felt like a divorce.

I walked out of the room.

Feeling alone, helpless, and so misunderstood, unseen. I jumped in my car and felt my blood pressure was so high, my heart was racing. I was angry.

Some signs of burnout are:

Feeling abandoned and cynical, and often believing they have to take care of everything, they numb and sabotage unhealthy habits and substances because it’s an anxious and lonely place to be.   

So I sat on that couch and started listening to myself and learned to breathe properly also outside of the yoga room.

I thought of changing the job but realized it was not the solution; I’d still be working the same way. 

Also, I was still deciding whether to change everything in my life at once.

I dreamed about freedom and life beyond my ability to believe in it fully but it was not the time to take the leap. It was time to focus on my well-being and heal properly, focus on my relationship with myself and get to know who I was.

It helped me get my life force back, and a lot more.  

I wanted to keep what I had, my lifestyle, work, income, and give myself time to let the future unfold at its own pace. And it did, but not until three years later. 

I decided I’d find a way to heal and feel myself again. 

Are you with me?

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you are ready to get rid of continuous exhaustion or recover from burnout patterns for good, and take back control of your work-life, here are some options:

1. Start by Signing up to get the Clarity Life Inventory Workbook

2. Book a 30-minute Clarity Call with me

My healing journey from life-long eczema and allergies

Most people don't know I suffered from the recurrent skin condition eczema and food allergies quite badly for most of my life.

It started when I was 12 as an itchy rash on my face and neck and several food allergies that would just come and go.

I adjusted and was used to being on a limited diet and alternating it. I went through all treatments there were, but nothing helped.

My skin was treated topically with creams, but no one looked at what happened under the skin condition, the emotions or the mind.

There's no medical explanation for eczema like it would come out of nowhere. I learned allergies couldn't be healed, that I was just sensitive, and they run in the family.

Then, I wrote a book proposal a few years ago: The rash flared up badly.

I was so itchy, scratching my scalp and face. I felt super pressured, anxious and tense in my body when I wrote it, trying to make my dream of writing a book real.

I was not able to connect the dots then.

I limited my diet to find out it was caused by oatmeal and wheat. My allergy tests showed all kinds of sensitivities. I reacted to fruits, vegetables and spices too.

I was forced to be fashionably gluten-free, but I dreamed of eating pizza and all those carbs. The limitations made me feel limited.

About a year after I became a mother, it got worse again.

I had finally cured the recurrent UTIs; eczema got bad and painful.

In the middle of the pandemic, all I wanted to do was to show up and help, but my skin kept me trapped. A lot was going on in my personal life.

People have and are healing eczema with hypnotherapy quickly, in just a few sessions, also with me. As a hypnotherapist and coach, my clients make radical transformations and healing, so it was hard to understand why the methods didn’t help me.

I worked with the best practitioners, RTT therapists and healers, but NOTHING worked for me. For some reason, we didn't hit the core of the issue.

I felt helpless and hopeless. I stopped doing sessions and started working on myself, thinking I knew best and using all methods and tools I knew.

I was researching and intuitively trying new things.

My face was like a traffic light directed by my emotions and thoughts. The rash manifested in a couple of minutes and took three days to heal until it happened again a few days later.

I became afraid and avoidant of situations that could have caused irritation, conflicts or fiery emotions.

It is not easy to show up and be visible with a rash on the face and swollen and dry wrinkled red skin. It started affecting my work, too, as I went up and down emotionally. I wanted to hide.

At some point, I gave up and went to see a special dermatologist.

I wanted all creams, but he gave me one non-medical skin cream and said I needed to work on stress and put tea bags on my skin. He knew it was internal.

Just keep going, I thought; something has to work.

I used a combination of hypnosis, subconscious healing, energy and emotional work.

I coached myself and changed the patterns and habits systematically, chasing and connecting the dots from the past and looking into what triggered all of that in the present.

I knew the root cause was unsafety, created by anxiety and fear; I didn't feel comfortable in my skin, safe to express myself and my emotions; I was never validated and didn’t believe I could receive equality. My mind and body didn’t feel safe.

When things were terrible, one pair of thought-emotion started a quick flare-up.

Which is when I got the confidence that it was not food related. I was sensitive and allergic to my feelings.

Over the years, my body had been convinced it needed to create a reaction to certain foods, and the mind kept me “safe” from harm and punished me for being “bad.”

There was an old traumatic memory related to oatmeal when I was 5, I was overpowered and forced to finish my meal. My body responded by starting the allergies. I worked and integrated with that lonely and rejected inner child and relationship.

I took these pictures in 2020-2021. Not because I wanted to remember how bad I looked and felt but because I believed I would rise and heal and share this story.

In those pictures where I smile, I feel good, loving and accepting towards myself, no matter how I looked. This was a big win creating the energy that I needed for healing.

There were moments when I wondered if I'd be like that for the rest of my life and felt depressed, lonely and helpless. But my desire to heal, my purpose, and the need to find the solution were bigger than that, so I kept going.

It was incredible to notice results as I tapped into the core. HUGE! I kept doing what I was doing, but I was afraid at the same time it wouldn’t last.

But it worked. To tackle the fear that it would come back, I kept talking to my body; I had a new inner dialogue. Still, it took 1,5 years to dare to share this story! Soon I felt empowered and strong in my body and my skin. The emotions didn't cause reactions anymore.

I tried some foods, and they didn't cause any reactions. It was amazing, unbelievably freeing that after all those years.

When I was able to eat pasta, pizza, tomato sauce, spicy food and all kind of fruits and vegetables, I realized I had cracked the code!

It was so amazing that I gained a few kilos. It was all worth it and went quickly as I got myself out and exercised more again.

And here’s what I learned:

  • If I hadn’t gone through all this struggle and stood up for myself, chosen myself and my well-being, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy food and life this freely. I wouldn’t feel as energized and aware as I am now. 

  • If I wouldn’t have asked for help, I’d probably have been stuck in the same place. Even if we don’t get the exact results we want, we will always move on as we show up to ourselves and feel worthy enough to receive help.

  • If wouldn’t have believed I was worthy of being healthy and insisted on it, I wouldn’t have all this knowledge, tools and the Purpose Path healing method I created along the way that I now get to offer to others.

  • If I wouldn’t have struggled with this so intensively, I’d still be dependent on looking for safety, answers, solutions and acceptance externally. I learned to take full responsibility for where I am, trust and support myself, and embody my power. 

  • If I wouldn’t have all those certifications and investments I have made for my personal and professional growth, I wouldn’t have known how incredibly powerful our mind-body-emotions connection is, and that nothing is coming out of nowhere. There is a reason and a cause. And by the way, anxiety is a symptom. It’s not a cause.

  • If I hadn’t trusted that I’d find a way and I could be like I had once been, I wouldn’t be here to share this story with you and say that whatever you are going through in your life now, you can change it, you can heal, you can grow, you can be well and happy and make your dreams and goals real. 

You are capable, and you have what you need.

Just don’t give up.

Keep trusting and believing in yourself.

I’d also love to hear from you; what have you been able to heal and overcome? Share your story in the comments below!

Much love Jenni

P.S. This is what I do to help others. I offer personalized programs, workshops and online courses. If you are ready, feel free to book a Clarity call with me to talk about your situations and possibilities. You can also check out my online offerings in the store.

Strengthening your support system and relationships starts in you

As I time-traveled back to the past to meet the 16-year-old me in hypnosis, she felt insecure, lost, and alone.

Different from the others, like she was not belonging anywhere but desperately sought safety and acceptance externally that only made her overgive, trying to earn love, feeling she ever got anything back.

She was wondering how to be in the world, who to become, and how to make the right decisions that would secure the unknown future and make her happy for the rest of her life.

She felt she was alone to deal with it all.

She needed an empowering conversation, the guidance and support she never got then.

So we talked.

I helped her to understand and see what she was going through, why life felt so difficult and scary.

Why did she feel so sad that she needed to numb her emotions and ignore her needs and wants– affection, comfort, and safety had not been available.

I said life would be full of challenges in the future too… in one form or another but it was possible to learn to be happy and joyful every day and ride on the waves by shifting the obstacles to growth.

We had a good empowering conversation about feelings, self-respect, self-worth, women’s body, sex, and sacred sensuality...

How trusting the Self, the inner voice, and speaking her needs, feelings and opinions out loud and clear was important no matter how others responded.

I showed her how to learn to listen to her inner voice, body, intuition, and feelings– how she could support and help herself and fulfill those needs without trying to make others compensate for the parts that she had abandoned.

I guided her to use her inner wisdom bravely in any and every situation without hesitation because it is the truth of all the truth and it never leads us wrong.

She started to understand that her sensitivity, kindness, and compassion were the real strengths, not the weaknesses, and it was safe for her to be who she was and not try to make herself harder than she was.

We listed her greatness, her gifts, and abilities and helped her see that being confident, successful, smart, and talented meant she was reaching the fullest potential– and she didn’t have to be afraid of gossip, envy, or the threat of not belonging to the group– the abandonment she had experienced earlier.

She realized the ability to receive was as important as giving...  

That she could get love, success, abundance without overachieving and thinking everything should be earned a hard way.

We talked about how being a powerful and independent woman meant authenticity, self-acceptance, warmth, and compassion while recognizing what her superpowers and her real needs, wants, and desires are.

She realized how all that would keep her on the right track, and give her confidence, inner power, and clarity to thrive.

This self-healing journey was part of the subconscious inner healing and shadow integration work that helped me empower the new revised, confident version of myself last year.

Connecting with the parts that I had abandoned gave me the next-level vision and clarified the purpose and direction for the next successful steps.

all the relationships and support you need starts from within

Self-healing, self-love, and self-empowerment mean we have less criticism, less judgment, and less comparison and jealousy but more power, more resilience, and more feminine power collectively.

We don’t have to rise to the stages to make a difference. There’s much more work to make the world more equal and you and I can do a lot now.

We can support women, girls, and our daughters now: to help them feel more accepted, safe, and empowered– good as they are!

We can do that in everyday life by seeing others, listening to others, praising their efforts– showing the example of the good, encouraging and supporting women with the little things that matter a lot… trying to understand others and from where they come from…

…by checking in our own thought patterns, actions, and energy if it’s aligned with the change that we want to see in the world.

Are you with me?

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you are ready for more, here are some options:

1. I help you swap out self-doubt and insecurities for confidence and certainty so you can unlock your full potential, resilience and purpose to create a more fulfilling life. Start by booking the Clarity strategy call with me

2. If you want a long-lasting confidence boost, and want to unblock and shift those old behaviors and insecurities for good, here’s a self-study confidence workshop, GROUNDED CONFIDENCE 

Boost your confidence through the roof

 

My client Anne came to me with these issues:

  • She struggled with an addiction to deferring to other people.

  • She constantly self-negated her power... she was too “nice” and a chronic caretaker.

  • She had a deep lack of confidence and struggled with inadequacy, her relationships were somewhat codependent.

  • She had a fear she was not competent enough, constantly comparing herself to others.

  • Perfectionism. She hesitated and second-guessed herself and didn’t let her creativity flow.

She felt she was not FREE.

All this with her own words.

All this even she had had a long remarkably successful creative career.

After her years-long project ended she took a hiatus.

Then… she just couldn’t make herself get back to it, start creating, but issues came up.

Her work had been validating her externally.

When she lost that she became aware of other things in her life and started sabotaging herself.

In 4 months’ time we dived into all this we worked on...

  • her relationship with her Self: love, acceptance, knowledge, compassion

  • her habits, people-pleasing, and codependent behaviors - we set clear boundaries and practiced saying no

  • all the anger, guilt, and resentment coming up from the past was healthily released and patterns were healed

We focused on confidence and self-esteem, which I have found to be the key element for people to become successful, courageous, happy as they are - in all areas of life.

The results:

  • She started working again… glowing new energy… creative ideas and excitement burst

  • She put herself out there, meeting people again

  • She started taking care of herself, her body, her needs and focused less on others (healthily)

Her relationship with her partner and children changed for the better; more loving, more intimate, more compassionate.

Self-esteem and confidence are not something we have automatically.

It's not something some people have more than others.

Often successful people struggle with their relationships.

Often people with a healthy relationship struggle professionally, stumble upon their success blocks.

We are not born with a sense of inner power.

When we are children, it’s our external environment that has the power that we learn to refer to.

All of our experiences shape our level of self-esteem, our ability to trust ourselves, and others, life.

They are like a skill we have to develop and hone along the way.

Often it's our obstacles that show us where we need to do the work so we can rise into our power again.

Confidence is about trust:

  • When we have good self-esteem we trust ourselves.

  • When we trust ourselves we can listen to ourselves.

  • When we listen to the inner voice we do/be/have what feels right to each of us.

  • When we

That’s how we can keep the sense of inner power, the boundaries, that makes us feel good about ourselves every way.

The connection with yourself requires care and constant nurturing- it's the most important relationship you have.

I have recorded a free Grounded Confidence meditation that helps you hone and grow your confidence and boost self-esteem. You can download it here.

After you have listened to it, I'd love to hear how did you like it!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you want more balance, more love, and success, you can book a complimentary clarity call where you find out what’s actually coming in the way, why you might be feeling stuck and how you can solve it.

 

How to make decision-making easy

My 2-year old is now a strong yes-no person.

Yes, it's the stage often called "terrible twos”, which is most terrible for us adults who can't handle their quick, wild and so unexpected emotional shifts.

I know how overwhelming it is for the parents when a rational approach or explanation doesn't work. 

Small children don't have logic. They only respond with their emotions, which are bigger than their bodies, and yet, they don't know why they feel that way.

This morning she put tried to put her new summer shoes on. I asked if she needed help. 

She didn't. 

She managed to get them somehow on but was not happy with the straps. Something didn't look or feel right to her (she is very much into details.)

She tried again but got even more frustrated as it didn't work the way she wanted. Then she outrageously asked for help. 

I tried to help but she refused to receive it with the loud NO. 

She cried and screamed out of frustration without able to decide what she really wanted. 

Something clearly didn't feel right. Yet she didn’t know WHAT would feel right.

Sounds familiar?

All we knew is that she absolutely loved the shoes. She made her choices from two good options and picked her favorite ones in the blink of an eye. 

This is how a 2-year old often feels. A bit like a teenager, remember?

Young children don't have any earlier life experiences, new things are coming up all the time and all they can do is to watch and learn, explore and try again. 

They make all their decisions, conclusions, and create their world views based on their emotions and what they have learned so far. They already have a belief system- and they have already learned from early on how others respond to their wants and needs. 

This is how our “conditioning” is being formed.  

Which is either helping us to make clear and confident decisions for ourselves, delegate things for others, know that we are worthy and deserving to get our desires (or not), rant about things forever when we lack clarity and feel insecure, or feel so guilty after we have missed an opportunity or have made a mistake...

The adults are often extremely indecisive, struggling with exactly the same emotions than the kids....

Did you know confidence and decision-making is a SKILL you can develop? 

How to make confident decisions that are right for you?

1. Trust your gut and original feeling.

-> Remind yourself of the first feeling and intuition that you first had.


2. Stop overthinking and analyzing.

-> When this happens, it's the resistant, rational mind that is taking over and trying to stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone.


3. Stop asking around what you should do. They don't really know, only you know.

-> If you ask from others, filter their personal beliefs, opinions, negative experiences out of it.


4. Make informed decisions.

->Gather information, ask questions and wait until you know, the feeling comes.

5. Ask yourself what are the consequences?
-> Ponder, if you will you be pleased with your decision 10 minutes, 10 months, or a few years later.

6. Don't try to force the answers or decisions. Go back to no. 1.

-> Forcing means your heart is not with the decision. If you are on deadline: set intention for the outcome and time when you need to know. Then take a break and don't think about it, but rather let it feel inside.

7. Take inspired action.

-> When the good feeling and energy are there - it's THE momentum that you want to follow through! I have never made wrong decisions when I do this.

I’d love to hear from you: How did you boost your courage, confidence and decision-making skills?

If you are at the crossroads, indecisive about your next steps on your business or career, I’d love to invite you to a complimentary Clarity coaching call where we connect and make a plan for the next steps. Book the call here

We have also got have got the confidence workshop updated and available online again

See all the details and get instant access to the workshops here

Why Fake It Till You Make It doesn't work.

When I first started reprogramming my mind with the new positive beliefs by using affirmations and doing mirror work it felt so awkward to me.

Mirror work means that you watch yourself in the eyes and repeat the positive statements over and over again.

I already knew when we change the inside, our stories and beliefs, we become free to do and create what we want.

Our mind learns by repetition, but...

I felt nothing goes in, things that I say to myself won’t work like “I love you and accept you” felt like, yeah right. It didn’t feel much of anything.

I was afraid of my negative thoughts that naturally occurred were ruining all the work I had done. I was wondering if I did something wrong, didn’t say things to myself often enough, and that my negative thought patterns were unbreakable.

Soon I started feeling… maybe there was something wrong with me, thinking that I was never able to make the changes and have what I wanted.

However… My desires and needs were much bigger than my beliefs.

Just because I had seen other people having what I wanted; they had been able to break through their fears, jump off their corporate treadmills, and start their heart-based businesses that were based on their calling and passions.

I felt jealous of seeing others feeling content and able to enjoy their accomplishments. I envied people being completely accepted in their happy relationships.

And just because someone had done it, it gave me hope to keep going and knowing that I could have it too.

Even MORE than external accomplishments I wanted to stop repeating self-sabotaging cycles, feel calm and grounded, and good about myself inside - right there, knowing that I was enough and had done enough.

I had literally run since I was a little girl because I was always so busy and late. There were so many things to do and I was fast! But that anxious restlessness exhausted me for a long time.

Later I understood it was because I didn’t feel like I was belonging anywhere. That actually kept me constantly on the move and searching for something different, better- was actually a feeling that I was searching for.

Feeling that I am enough.

So before I was able to move forward and create what I wanted, I needed to know deep down in my gut that I am enough and worthy of receiving what I desired.

Affirmations and belief work are a powerful way to teach your mind to think better thoughts, change habits and create new patterns whether you want to expand your career, relationships, finances, or prepare yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work, like I did.

Before I became a Rapid Transformational Therapist and hypnotherapist over 3 years ago, I had already been helping my clients to change their unconscious blocks and patterns with my coaching methods years. But it took quite a long time and it was hard work, sometimes we were not knowing if it was the right thing we were working on.

As long as there are old patterns, mental or emotional blocks it is hard to step into your power and make those changes. The subconscious mind controls the beliefs and the mindset which defines what is available for us to manifest.

It either keeps you stuck in the painful comfort zone or lets you feel free to take action and expand.

So I was wondering if there were a better, more reliable, and faster method to access unconscious beliefs and release the root cause of it.

Then I met Marisa Peer in Los Angeles and was hypnotized for the first time. Her RTT method was the answer that I had been looking for. Since my training with her, I have used this incredible method successfully with hundreds of clients with so many different issues.

And for sure, I’ve used RTT to help myself to heal my own wounds, get over the fears, and create the fulfilling life that I now enjoy living.

I am on the mission to empower you and support you to know that you thrive through the crisis, get over the obstacles, and come out of this more resilient, more confident, and more powerful than ever.

If that’s what you want I am inviting a free full RTT “I’m enough” workshop and experience how does it feel to confidently know it and start fearlessly making the changes you crave.

* If you endlessly compare yourself to others and think of why you can’t have what they have...

* If you feel like invisible strings are pulling you back every time you try to move forward and make the changes...

* If you feel like there’s a pattern you recognize but you still are not able to change it...

* If your heart is saying, ‘It’s my time’...

There's only one belief you need.

Jenni xo

How to restore emotional balance and let go of anxiety and worries with journaling

Quarantine brings its undisclosed challenges.

The nervous systems for people are in overdrive.

Resistance to change, no sense of control and the fear of the future, worries of the health and finances can manifest in feelings of anger, anxiety and tension in our minds and bodies.  

It is completely natural to be anxious about the current situation. We dwell through the different phases of the crisis, collective, generational and personal trauma are activated.

And all that makes this the perfect time to heal it. 

Some people are facing big, obvious obstacles and some seem to be flowing through this successfully but feeling tremendous guilt about it, afraid of destroying their luck.  

Whatever you are going through I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you.    You haven’t manifested the obstacles or pain. It’s not your fault. 

I want to invite you to see it differently: this crisis is offering a possibility to transform your life big time, maybe in the ways you have wanted for a long while.

The triggers and obstacles you are personally facing now are showing you what is actually standing in your way. 

When you do the work and heal the core issues now, you can experience dramatic shifts already now and change the trajectory for your near future.

  • Such as feeling happy and joyful instead of tense and anxious.

  • Finding deeper intimacy in your relationship.

  • Feeling more connected and fulfilled, being able to enjoy your accomplishments.

  • Being confident about your possibilities to create and make the changes that you want and need to.

  • Enjoying presence with your children.

What do you want your “new normal” look and feel like?

Throughout this crisis I’ve been offering the tools and practices that help you feel good, calm and connected daily in my Facebook group and with the free self-empowering mini-course.

When you do the work and heal the core issues now, you can experience dramatic shifts, get unstuck which will help you to change the trajectory of your near future. 

I want to support you and show you that you can do a lot to heal and empower yourself right now; get through these challenging times in the best ways and make this experience work for you.    

Today I want to share this wonderful practice of journaling for restoring your emotional balance.

Sometimes, when the anxiety or negative feeling take over, the breathing exercises and meditation are not always bringing the results you want. 

I want to share an amazing tool which will help you let go of tension, anger, frustrations, and fears in a healthy way so that you can feel calm, more connected and confident daily during this challenging time. 

In quarantine and lockdown - like in our normal busy lives - it is important to help yourself feel good and energized every day. 

Daily practice of journaling will help you feel connected with yourself, emotionally balanced, hopeful and energized.

I invite you to share your deepest thoughts in your journal, and take the first step to healing and connecting your ‘Foundational’ authentic self.

This practice will give you sense of relief in the mind and body, insights and opens the vault to the answers - and next steps that you have been craving for. 

We are naturally resistant, push away to negatives and avoid talking about the real pain and hurt we are feeling. It requires some courage to allow yourself to go deeper but I’m encouraging you to do so.

It’s easy to feel guilty, blame yourself for having the thoughts and feelings you have, and believe that there’s something wrong with you. It’s not true.

I want to gently and lovingly remind you, there’s nothing wrong with you for having those thoughts. Your shadow side is a natural part of you, and everyone else. 

When you listen to your mind and it’s chatter with honesty, you give yourself an opportunity to start healing and changing your thoughts and feelings, and the core reasons of the patterns that keep you stuck and looping. 

When you become aware of what is going on in your mind that’s already healing the tensions, energies in your body, your nervous system. 

Then you become free to act differently and start programming your mind to think better thoughts and feel more of good feelings. 

The words on the page give you access to the big picture and you will see how silly and untrue those beliefs and stories of the mind sometimes are.  

Create Clarity- How to journal

Pick up a pen, grab some paper. 

What is going on in your mind? 

Start journaling. Flowing out your thoughts, write them on the paper without limitations.

Let go of any anxiety, overwhelm and fears that you may be feeling. 

Write about the obstacles you are facing.  

Go into the details and let your pen speak your mind.

When you are done, start asking yourself questions: 

  • How is this (your biggest issue) protecting me?

  • What is the worst thing that could happen to me? 

  • What is possible for you when you let go of this issue?

Journaling helps you bring clarity, feel calm and connected and become more aware of your patterns so you become free to change them. 

Your journal is your soundboard and trusted friend that loves to listen and see you as you are.

In my free mini-course you will learn the full empowering process of releasing and working with the anxieties and fears - and the related patterns. Get access here

How do you help yourself feel good and energized daily? Let me know your thoughts and comments below!

Love, Jenni

Setting boundaries is the key to preventing burnout and exhaustion

The voice in your head says: I don’t want this anymore.

But you don’t listen, even if it doesn’t feel good or right, but you continue putting other people’s needs or work ahead of your own needs, priorities or well-being. 

Adding more things to your never-ending to-do list feels exhaustion, and all those demands terrify you. 

The overwhelm starts to drive you. It feels easier to push aside the negative feelings and try to keep up day by day.

It can be easier to blame life’s busyness, other people’s demands, or the job we don’t like than face the difficulties and how you feel. 

If any of this feels familiar, you are not alone.

I know how all this feels. In the end, it is not about the others or busyness, though and there’s a solution to how you can turn things around and create balance.

10 years ago, I faced a massive burnout.

After separating from a 7-year relationship that felt like a divorce, I decided to put my all into my career. I also created a wild social life, trying to take back the years of the lost youth and years that I had stayed in an unhappy relationship.

It didn’t feel right then, but I didn’t know what else to do or where to go. 

I had no idea how to connect with my cacophonic mind and deal with grief, shame, and betrayal.

So I just tried to numb it, avoid it all, and keep myself going and giving and hoping one day I would be rewarded for all that...

Within a year, things were spiraling down fast. I didn’t know I needed help; maybe because I didn’t know who to turn to, who could help.

I felt isolated and lonely even when there were people around me. I pushed close people away. I was sick all the time and struggled with insomnia and restlessness.

I had heard my inner voice whispering all night that I was exhausted from working late in the evenings  - every minute of my day was scheduled. But I didn’t know another way to be; my life felt empty and meaningless when I did- so I couldn’t stop myself. 

I was so exhausted and afraid I would drop from the tightrope.

one morning, I tried to leave for work after coming back from a short work trip to Paris in the middle of the night.

I couldn’t leave but collapsed on the couch, and the tears I had waited for a year finally came.

I decided it was not the day to drop and put the mask on and left to work, even though I felt shaken by what had happened.

It opened my eyes, and I started making the changes, prioritizing myself and setting boundaries as I realized I was in the lead, and if I didn’t have my well-being, I had nothing.

It took a long time to find ways to heal and keep the balance, but I learned to recognize when my stress levels were getting too high, I couldn’t take it anymore. My nervous system felt sensitized and reactive.

Getting to know yourself, your mind, your habits and your patterns is the key to balance, success and well-being, and your boundaries.

As a  multi-passionate, creative entrepreneur and an empath and intuitive, my energies are often high, and I need a lot of grounding and isolation. I am number 7 in Enneagram, Manifesting Generator in Human Design, and I have been diagnosed with ADHD.

My highest values are changed, love, freedom, and integrity, which lead to everything I do.

I’ve been a people pleaser and struggled with over-giver syndrome and perfectionism all my life. I know all the women in my family have suffered from this; I was raised into unhealthy attachments and have dived deep into healing intergenerational patterns from the body and unconscious mind.

It’s incredibly empowering to heal and learn to choose oneself.

When we change the inner messaging and become aware of our thoughts, behaviors and feelings, we can make the needed changes.

It’s the self-awareness that I have consciously grown and the boundaries that help me react and respond immediately when I notice the signs: the feelings, thought patterns and behaviors that are red flags for me and trying to pull me back to the past, old habits. 

I’ve learned nothing else matters more than prioritizing my well-being and health and making time for daily self-care, tools and strategies that help to recharge and create balance on the go.

The other day I was working with a client, and she asked So, HOW do I set the boundaries?

Here’s how you start setting long-lasting boundaries:

  • Start taking notes when you hear yourself saying, “I don’t want this”, “It’s too much”, and you continuously override your own will and desires and resist your well-being. 

  • When someone or something repeatedly makes you feel bad, guilty, critical or judgemental - then it’s time to set a boundary and practice expressing them confidently.

  • When you notice a pattern or behavior repeating in your life, instead of judging or criticizing yourself, sit down to work on it.

  • Take notes and recognize the triggers. Ask how you want to change it.

  • When a similar situation or feeling comes, slow down and take time to breathe and listen to yourself what would be right for you?

Knowing your boundaries means knowing when to say a brave yes or no.

You are the one you should please in the first place.  

Saying no actually leads to success. Having personal boundaries makes you feel good about yourself and standing in your power.

You have the power to stop the negative cycles and to heal the past wounds that have kept you repeating them. 

What kind of boundaries do you need? What kind of boundaries have been helpful for you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Love Jenni x

P.S. If you are ready to stop trying to find and keep the balance with work-life and are struggling with overwhelm and exhaustion, I can help. Book your free Clarity call here to get started.

How To Make Confident Decisions

People would rather avoid making decisions (sometimes for years!) than think it through and face what they need to face. They don’t feel ready to make the decision that would take away all the pressure and move things forward quickly.

Indecisiveness is a very common habit. Yes, a habit.

It is based on self-doubt; insecurities; fear or lack of courage; and simply an inability to listen to the self and inner truth.

In more serious situations, it causes procrastination, anxiety, low self-image, addictions, and even suffering to others.

I remember when I was younger and hung out with my girlfriends. Together we discussed whether someone should send a text to her date or not; or if someone should stop dating a guy; or what that guy really meant by what he’d said. Or where the heck he disappeared to!

No one advised that we should just ask the guy, or even asked the girl what she thought would be the right thing for her to do.

And of course, it went on and on with almost everything: what to wear; or eat; what to do in life; and so forth. It was not really about giving empowering advice or allowing the one who was looking for help to decide for herself.

It was just endless comparison, which most often is based on the other person’s life views and experiences (often insecurities, jealousy, and disappointments). Usually, the one who everyone tried to help just felt more confused and indecisive.

Maybe you can relate to this?

The more people we ask, the more varying opinions we get. And the more lost we may feel.

Comparison destroys clarity and confidence.

What’s behind it

Often it’s a learned belief that others are more capable of making choices for them. Sometimes it’s a need to please and a conflicted way to earn love and acceptance.

Or they are afraid of judgment, of being seen as too bossy, ambitious, or powerful if they make confident decisions and know and express what they want.

There can be a deep fear of making mistakes or of failure.

However, we can fail and things can go terribly wrong just because decisions are not made early enough.

They feel they can gain more confidence and hide their insecurities by letting other people make decisions or listening to other’s opinions.

Some people struggle with making decisions because they don’t want to take responsibility for their lives and the results of their choices.

But no one else can make the right choices for you, no one knows better than you; it’s something you must do for yourself.

That’s why I usually advise that people only talk with someone who they trust and who will be wise enough to stay away from pushing their own opinions or agenda.

There’s a difference between helping someone to find their truth and telling them what they should do.

Letting other people make decisions for you means giving your power and control away.

Don’t give the lead in your life to others: everything in your life should be based on the choices you make.

With simple choices, it’s not that big a deal but with major life decisions, it’s dangerous.

Take initiative in your own life.  

Here are 10 key things I have learned about confidence:

1. Confidence is the ability to hear your ideas, thoughts, and feelings and trust them.

2. It is built through repeated acts of everyday courage to say yes and no.

3. It is an empowering feeling that replaces your existing habits of self-doubt and fear.

4. It’s not a fixed skill that some people have and some don’t. Everyone has fears and insecurities.

5. No problem or worry exists if you can do something about it. There are always solutions and possibilities. Trust and wait until you know.

6. When you change your behavior you change your mind(set), and your physics (energy) - those two things will start to change the situation.

7. Criticism, procrastination, self-doubt or victimizing all lead to lower confidence and decreased self-esteem.

8. Feelings are natural, but your behavior and thoughts are a choice - by changing your thoughts you can create more positive feelings.

9. Lack of clarity and self-control can feel like a confidence issue.

10. Practice your confidence and decision making skills by stopping shortly before you make any decisions. Ask yourself what is the right thing for you and then decide if it’s a YES or NO.

Sometimes “I don’t know” is a very good answer and you can take time until you know.  

Great decisions are always made when the heart, mind, and gut are connected.

Before you reach that point, quiet down and sit with yourself to get really clear on what you want and need:

  • What is the question you need an answer to?

  • How would you want things to go?

  • What are the options?

  • What feels right for you?

Recognize the feelings and fears. Are they really, absolutely true and worth holding on to? Stop listening to what the world says you should do. When you really think about it, you cannot know if your worst fear will come true, we cannot avoid risks.

Deep inside you know what you want.

Often the answer is an intuitive feeling, something that you have probably “known” all the time.

It’s okay if it feels a little intimidating, as that's when it’s usually right. Most often the best decisions come from doing the thing that scares you.

Nothing changes if you don’t change it. Life is unknown.

Expect the positive best outcome. Trust that everything always works for you.

Trust your gut and respect yourself by making your own decisions.  

To help you make the changes and decisions faster, I wanted to share my transformational, super relaxing courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

Click here to access this free meditation audio. To get more inspiration, join my weekly newsletter here.

Much love,

Jenni

Boosting your courage is a key to clarity

Too many people shy away from using their real potential, going after their dreams, and passions just because they lack courage and don't believe in themselves enough.

A big part of my clients come to me with the confidence and self-esteem issues. They know that it's them who are somehow standing in their own way. 

They want to find what keeps them stuck and how to get courage and clarity they lack. 

They want to start their business, write their books, use their creative talents, have healthy relationships, find a new job - be independent financially and mentally.

In the end it's about feeling free to be who they truly are and do what they love!

If you are not doing what is important and meaningful to you, it’s pretty much impossible to live fulfilled, happy life. 

Quite often they believe there’s something wrong with them, which is not true. 

The lack of courage, self-doubt and self-criticism hold the invisible curtain in their mind, blocking the needed clarity and direction

It’s difficult to see things objectively and create a big picture and take action if the negative self-talk and learned beliefs have taken the control.

This is the source of frustrations, insecurities, and anxiety, that only makes you feel more stuck.  

Increasing courage and self-esteem is a key to healing this. 

How to do this?

Get clear of the language that you use when you talk to yourself and others (critical people are extremely harsh on themselves) and start re-wiring your mind by using affirmations and talking to yourself in encouraging, kind and gentle ways. Train your mind!  

I promise you will see a difference in you and the results you get in a short time! 

To help you make the changes faster, I wanted to share my transformational, courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and find that determination and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

 

Jenni xo

P.S. Courage and Confidence is part of the Conscious Creator Program and enrolment to this life-changing program is open now! 


Before you go…

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here.
 

Photo by Vladimir Kudinov http://www.vladimirkudinov.com/

What I learned on the saddest day of my life

Overwhelm, anxiety, and feeling drained is, unfortunately, a new norm. I hear that every day from my clients.

And I can relate.

In this vlog I'm talking about the realization that helped me to change the course of my life and gave me the power to take it towards what I really desired and was passionate about: to find my purpose and authentic happiness.   

I'm also talking about why it's crucial to connect with ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally, and how to release the old blockages that keep you stuck in your situation.

You'll get guidance of how to start creating intentional life and why intentions really make a difference for your future.

There is a way out of the constant struggling and set yourself free. 

Watch the video or listen to the audio below.

If you like this vlog share with your friends! 

Boost your confidence and self-esteem and download my ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio here.

 

 

Thank you for watching! 

Love,
Jenni

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni