How to make decision-making easy

My 2-year old is now a strong yes-no person.

Yes, it's the stage often called "terrible twos”, which is most terrible for us adults who can't handle their quick, wild and so unexpected emotional shifts.

I know how overwhelming it is for the parents when a rational approach or explanation doesn't work. 

Small children don't have logic. They only respond with their emotions, which are bigger than their bodies, and yet, they don't know why they feel that way.

This morning she put tried to put her new summer shoes on. I asked if she needed help. 

She didn't. 

She managed to get them somehow on but was not happy with the straps. Something didn't look or feel right to her (she is very much into details.)

She tried again but got even more frustrated as it didn't work the way she wanted. Then she outrageously asked for help. 

I tried to help but she refused to receive it with the loud NO. 

She cried and screamed out of frustration without able to decide what she really wanted. 

Something clearly didn't feel right. Yet she didn’t know WHAT would feel right.

Sounds familiar?

All we knew is that she absolutely loved the shoes. She made her choices from two good options and picked her favorite ones in the blink of an eye. 

This is how a 2-year old often feels. A bit like a teenager, remember?

Young children don't have any earlier life experiences, new things are coming up all the time and all they can do is to watch and learn, explore and try again. 

They make all their decisions, conclusions, and create their world views based on their emotions and what they have learned so far. They already have a belief system- and they have already learned from early on how others respond to their wants and needs. 

This is how our “conditioning” is being formed.  

Which is either helping us to make clear and confident decisions for ourselves, delegate things for others, know that we are worthy and deserving to get our desires (or not), rant about things forever when we lack clarity and feel insecure, or feel so guilty after we have missed an opportunity or have made a mistake...

The adults are often extremely indecisive, struggling with exactly the same emotions than the kids....

Did you know confidence and decision-making is a SKILL you can develop? 

How to make confident decisions that are right for you?

1. Trust your gut and original feeling.

-> Remind yourself of the first feeling and intuition that you first had.

2. Stop overthinking and analyzing.

-> When this happens, it's the resistant, rational mind that is taking over and trying to stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone.

3. Stop asking around what you should do. They don't really know, only you know.

-> If you ask from others, filter their personal beliefs, opinions, negative experiences out of it.

4. Make informed decisions.

->Gather information, ask questions and wait until you know, the feeling comes.

5. Ask yourself what are the consequences?
-> Ponder, if you will you be pleased with your decision 10 minutes, 10 months, or a few years later.

6. Don't try to force the answers or decisions. Go back to no. 1.

-> Forcing means your heart is not with the decision. If you are on deadline: set intention for the outcome and time when you need to know. Then take a break and don't think about it, but rather let it feel inside.

7. Take inspired action.

-> When the good feeling and energy are there - it's THE momentum that you want to follow through! I have never made wrong decisions when I do this.

I’d love to hear from you: How did you boost your courage, confidence and decision-making skills?

If you are at the crossroads, indecisive about your next steps on your business or career, I’d love to invite you to a complimentary Clarity coaching call where we connect and make a plan for the next steps. Book the call here

We have also got have got the confidence workshop updated and available online again

See all the details and get instant access to the workshops here

Daily self-care and meditation practice for moms and busy bees

HOW TO ADD MEDITATION AND SELF-CARE PRACTICE IN YOUR ALREADY FULL DAILY SCHEDULE

Traditionally we have thought self-care, and meditation in certain ways: being present in the candlelight in the total silence, rose petal baths, water streams, calm music playing on the background, clean crispy white ropes… what a bliss.

While it can be like that it’s not the reality we busy women are living day to day!

Especially when there are businesses to run, high-demanding jobs and small children to take care of- the self-care practice, which is crucial for the wellbeing and emotional balance, has to be looked at in different ways.

The more we help and support ourselves FEEL GOOD in the moments, balance our mental and emotional residues with these little tools and breathing exercises I’m sharing below, you will FEEL BETTER and CLEARER throughout the day.

Then you don't need to wait for that perfect moment in the evening or early morning when you may feel completely drained and only want to rest or numb yourself, which is also very common and only adds up more guilt.

It’s not easy to make any extra time for ourselves when it’s already so freaking busy, I get that!

Especially right now when the schools and daycare are still closed in many countries, or it's not possible or safe to go out all the time.

I know it myself and I have to learn to prioritize brutally and put in the effort consciously and daily to make it happen.

When I became a mother I really had to force myself to start doing my daily meditation and self-care practices again after a couple of months. Just because I soon noticed how unwell, disconnected and anxious I felt, like I lacked ALL control of my life, including sleep.

As the old ways didn't work anymore and I didn't have the possibility to sit in meditation, doing yoga or journaling sometimes for hours per day as I did before, I had to create new ways and methods to squeeze in the practices that mean LIFE to me and are the way how I feel connected and completely myself.

BUT… before I was able to bring these crucial habits back in my life and stop resisting my own wellbeing as hard as I did, I needed the right kind of motivation to make the changes. For me it was my wellbeing and the growing anxiety that almost got out of control. I never knew I was an anxious person before I became a mother and then after I started working with it, I realized I had been an anxious person for a very long time.

This is what often happens when we work with the subconscious beliefs and root causes - we start seeing these patterns repeating themselves everywhere in life. Which is only a good thing, because that then allows to change the behavior.

With many of my women and mom clients, I see that the real reason why they get lost in the busyness and emotional cycles, self-sabotaging habits is that somehow they don’t believe they deserve to take the time for themselves and their self-care. Everyone and everything else goes before their wellbeing and that’s subconsciously most often stemming from lack of self-worth and not feeling good enough.

We can always make time for things that are important for us!

I started going out in the mornings, to meditate, walk and take a breather. Sometimes I’m taking deep breaths, stretching or doing some yoga or scribbling intentions down or do short emotional cleansing with journaling when my daughter is playing around or is sometimes on top of me.

I see my little one is quite a good little yogini already now, she loves copying me and moving her body, pretending taking deep breaths, which is funny and a good thing.

Even those 5-30 minutes are not always perfect stillness but they are still very, very helpful! We can do so much during the days in the middle of the chaos to help ourselves connect and release tensions. That is the practice.

So here a my tips for daily self-care that are not just for the crisis now but also for the daily life:

• Meditation can really be just trying to quiet down and get focused on something mindfully breathing and being present. That little thing is part of your overall wellbeing and happiness.

• Be focused when you’re doing things at home. Notice how well you care about the healthy food you cook for yourself and your family.

• Or when you’re taking time to clean the kitchen, or the house, think about it cleaning not just the physical space but the energies in that space as well. Take this as a practice and your “own” time. (if that’s your only time for yourself it’s good to talk with your partner and organize time for you!)

• When you take a shower, take time to do a shower meditation - love your body and how well it supports you and your health. Visualize the water cleansing your physical body but your mental, emotional, energetic, and spiritual ones too.

• Playing with the kids can be a meditation in some regards. It is recharging and energizing when you forget everything else at that moment and take the time to really focus in on our time with them - it's not only for them but for ourselves too and creates a wonderful deep connection with them.

• When you run your errands, focus on embracing health, money that you have for the payments, focusing on positive thoughts.

• Breathe and visualize yourself being covered by the energy that is protecting and keeping you safe, calm and connected. Your breath is your life force and it’s always with you!

• When you drive with your car or use public transportation, use this time to focus on embracing good things in your life and focus on appreciation and gratitude, especially in the areas you want to expand.

• Before you go to sleep clear the negative energies by journaling about your emotions, talk about them and let go of all anger, frustration and anything on those pages that love to listen to you. Then, think about good things, your dreams, your desires - thinking good empowering thoughts before sleep helps to activate your subconscious to attract it and sleep well.

• Pay attention to your surroundings, nature, when you walk outside or watch out of the window.

• Pay attention to people in your life and what they do, how they are trying to do their best. Give yourself the same praise everyday.

• At the end of the day or during the day make a list in your mind of all things you got done, how well you take care of your tasks, work, others and embrace all that effort and energy that you put in.

• Remind yourself of all that you give and receive it back by praising yourself.

• Allow yourself to enjoy the moments - there are lots of them when you start consciously paying attention to it.

This is a big list helping you to make mind shifts and do almost all of it “on the go”. You can build your kind of self-care practice be part of your days and that’s a practice - without the need to reserve hours or special time for doing it all.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Love Jenni x

We are almost on the other side of this

How are you going to start your new normal?

There's been a lot of change, these past few weeks for us.

They have loosened the restrictions in Spain and first we finally, after two months of full lockdown (no going outside except to grocery stores or for necessities!) we got to go out with the kids for a short time in the day. Stella was quite okay, a little hesitant at first but I heard that some older children didn’t want to go out at all anymore. 

Then we got to go out to exercise and now we can meet 10 people at the time (for 1 hour) and some restaurants are open. We got our babysitter back for some a couple of days per week.

Social connections felt weird at first, like practicing again how to be with others physically after all those video calls...  The inside had become our new safety zone. 

Now we are slowly getting back to some sort of normal life but it takes a while, and there are still restrictions. 
There’s a lot to process.

It’s clear we are not going back to the same old, we have changed and the world has changed that’s for sure. 

I know I have changed.

The last few months were more challenging than I thought while going through it. Now I see how we all have been in that weird survival mode, almost fighting for our life and existence.

Now that it has become easier, I have found myself quite tired.

While my daily life didn’t change that much due to lockdown as I work from home and am used to wearing different hats throughout the day; be a mother, business owner, coach, and therapist, and a personal chef and a wife, while taking care of my own wellbeing as well as I could - it’s been A FULL CHAOTIC LIFE. 

I put a lot of efforts for staying emotionally and mentally balanced, using all the tools I have, sometimes multiple times per day, doing short self-care practices, journaling and exercise.

How we got through the 2 months complete lockdown

It was simply about making clear household rules with my husband. Deciding who takes care of the baby, worktimes, a meal plan, shared calendar, and making sure everyone stays sane.

We got to practice this tight togetherness a little bit already before the chaos started as my husband left his day job and we moved to Mallorca in February, so we were somehow settled already, only the place we lived was new.

During the lockdown it sometimes felt like I was living in another planet and there were just the three of us.  

Our temporary 2 bedroom apartment that we had rent for 6 months didn’t allow huge escapes, other than outdoor terraces. It was the agreed daily conversations that were and are still life saviors for us, keeping the connection and mutual understanding alive.

No matter what we have experienced in the last couple of months, it’s clear that we have loved it here. The island is gorgeous, lifestyle suits us and we are now looking for a new home for us to settle in. 

Personally for me when the lockdown started, it started a dive deep into new depths and go through a personal transformation, working through the old habits, and patterns that we suddenly so clear.

Most of it was related to work, the way of working, but affected in all other areas of life - a new level of self-worth and clarity emerged as I peeled the onion again. 

Inner work is not always easy but as I clearly saw it was offering me a needed change I went on. As I worked through it the clarity I got struck a huge amount of creativity in me and I birthed the free course for quarantine, and Thrive through The Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you. I have written and studied a lot. Somehow I made time for it; when there’s the motivation the time and resources always show up.

I’m obsessed about my work but also working with myself, I just love love love to learn new, change and then being able to expand the next level.

During this transformation I have allowed myself to start to lean even deeper into my intuition and visions even more and use it more for making decisions. It’s the only truth we can trust in the time of uncertainty and worries this crisis has raised in us. The unknown future has always been there but now when the secure foundation was shaken in so many ways it, the future can feel like a scary black hole.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING - OUTSIDE OF WORK AND CHAOS? 

If you have been getting new insights and know that old ways won’t work anymore, I invite you in to check out the Thrive through the Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you,  that I designed for this time of transition to new normal, so if you feel called and know it’s time to start creating new, this course will give you the strength, resilience, and confidence you need for it.

The course won’t be happening in this format anymore and now you get an incredible amount of value with my coaching and healing included so join us now…  

Warmly,

Jenni
 

Are you waiting for the right time and things be perfect?

Hello!

It’s been a while since I sat down to write to you. Having baby Stella at the end of December started a completely new phase of life, and a life-long duty, called motherhood. I have loved being with the little one and having a family has changed my life in so many good ways.

Baby is now on her long afternoon nap and the house is quite a mess. My mind reminded me there are tons of “better” things to do than sit down to write to you, which I have tried to finish I don’t know how many times.

Before her birth I planned to take a few months off from working with clients and enjoy this precious time and possibility to be with her, while writing and taking care of the other side of my business aside. I have this urge to create and contribute and I’m used to work a lot -- it’s simply part of my nature and I love what I do.

It’s been a challenge to combine these two desires.

The last months have been transformational: basically all areas of life have demanded adjustments and inner work, while going through a massive personal upgrade and identity change that motherhood often puts us through.

I’m lucky I had a chance to stay at home and take time to be with the baby, heal after the birth and take my time to adjust for the first couple of months. (It should be a birthright for the new moms and their babies.)

After things got a little steadier and I had more time, it started weighing on me why I didn’t take time for myself and do what’s important to me.

I had crafted a solid, easygoing plan on how to get started again. Baby is sleeping on schedule, so I pretty much know when and how much time I have. My husband is happy to be with the baby after work and on the weekends.

I ran out of excuses, so I stopped to see what was going on.

• I was comparing myself to others… when I looked at other people with newborn children in social media I thought what’s wrong with me. They seemed to have everything in order and were living a picture-perfect life, there were no signs of greasy hair or old yoga pants.  

• Continuous distractions got me off track... When I got back to it this highly critical inner voice said what I’d created is not good enough, so I started writing something else and then ended up not finishing anything.

• I waited for a better time... when this chaos and overwhelm would pass; baby getting through growth spurts; learning to eat from the bottle; when I have a babysitter and so forth…  

I didn’t give myself permission to start until everything would be perfect.

I have a lot to share about this so called “mom guilt” that hit me, the need to be perfect, irreplaceable, micromanage and do something all the time, mainly to show myself that I'm a good enough mother, and not abandoning my child if I take some time for myself.

I realized there will always be something going on and life with kids is overwhelming and chaotic, but also fun and happy.

So I decided…

… to stop letting these learned ideals, patterns and my inner stories control me.

… to stop cleaning the house out of the “mom habit” when the baby sleeps.

… 15 minutes is a long time and I work when I can. When I can’t, I relax.

… it’s finally time to let go of perfectionism. I simply don’t have time for it anymore.

I gave myself a permission to do things I want to do and adjust it all to this new life.

If we are not trying and doing what calls us, we never know what’s possible.

If we let fear-based stories lead life or if we constantly compare ourselves to others it certainly destroys creativity and courage and we never dare to put ourselves out there.

It doesn’t matter at what stage of life you are or what you want to do. May it related to your career, relationships, your personal goals or big dreams. You got to start from somewhere.

Are you waiting until things are perfect? To get started, ask yourself:

• What are your excuses or stories that you tell yourself?

• Are you sure they are true?

• If you took action now, how would it make you feel?

To make this blog happen I sought advice from my blog on how to boost productivity by using this brilliant method that helps you remove distractions and resistance, and get things done fast when time is limited. Read it here

Let me know in the comments below if this resonates.

Love, Jenni

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6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation. 

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6-weeks to becoming a Conscious Creator Online program

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