Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

• Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

• Get out from your own way and emotions.

• Make changes consciously.

• Choose to behave differently.

• Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation. 

Related Course

6-weeks to becoming a Conscious Creator Online program

RELATED online WORKSHOP 

Visualization workshop: Create your vision board and learn how to manifest your desires

RELATED BLOG

Do you think affirmations are not working for you? Learn how to use affirmations successfully 

How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations

Talk yourself into success and start consciously creating your life

We have all heard of affirmations: positive statements you repeat to yourself over and over. Their aim is to override old subconscious programming and change negative thought patterns and beliefs; in doing this, you set yourself free to do and achieve what you want, be it improving your health, career, relationships, finances or preparing yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work.

This is due to lack of specificity and knowledge of how to create affirmations that work personally for them in their specific situations.

Why affirmations may not work:

• You don’t fully believe in your goal or what you are saying to yourself.

• You’re using negative or future-oriented language in your affirmations, which is confusing to the mind which only operates in the present.  

• You are not aware of or paying attention to your mind’s objections.

• There is a subconscious block that is powerfully resisting the changes you desire.

• You don’t take the action that is needed to move forward.

To make affirmations work successfully, you need to first discover what thought patterns and objections you have. Thought patterns are based on past negative experiences that you hold in your mind. These are stored in your subconscious, which always affects your behavior, thoughts, feelings, and actions in different situations.

If you struggle in some area of life and feel that you can’t do what you want to do, then there are some learned limiting beliefs and subconscious blocks that keep you stuck in your situation. Luckily, we can release these self-limiting beliefs and blocks, and creating personal affirmations is one of the ways you can.

A Simple Exercise to Create Your Affirmations

Here's one simple exercise you can do to help reveal your limiting beliefs and create affirmations that work for you:

• Write your desire or goal down: what is it that you want to achieve?

• Get quiet and turn inward to listen.

• Ask yourself: why is it not possible?

• Write out all the objections your mind comes up with.

• Keep going until there aren't any objections coming up.

• When you have emptied your mind of objections, go through the statements and shift the sentences to positive.

• Use clear, authoritative, positive commands in the present tense: I feel, I can, I have, I am…

For example, say you want to elevate your career to the next level and find your dream job, but struggle with the habit of procrastination. You have all kinds of excuses as to why you don’t do the things you need to do (e.g., update your resume, make connections, etc.). For some reason, you keep yourself from following through with your plans.

To quit the habit of procrastination to find your dream job, you want to discover the self-limiting beliefs and emotional reasons behind the procrastination, and writing down the objections will show you these. You may think for instance, “What I want does not exist,” “It’s too risky to change jobs now,” “I’m not educated enough,” etc. All these self-limiting beliefs are raising inner fears: fear of the unknown, fear of success, or fear of failure.

When the subconscious objections come to the surface, you will often realize they are not true, and that already helps to release them. To empower your mind and believe new thoughts, create positive statements, such as: “I’m open for new possibilities,’” “It’s my time now,” “I have everything I need for my dream job.”     

Used consistently, affirmations will help you reprogram your mind and change your habits, which will change your reality.

How to use your affirmations:

• Repeat the affirmations consistently and daily, and write them down. It takes about 21 days to change any habit.

• Use your imagination to visualize and meditate on what you’re affirming — feel like you would if you already had what you’re affirming.

• Keep your affirmations where you can see them every day (phone, journal, Post-Its) so your mind has a better chance of accepting your new truth.

• Motivate and encourage yourself by remembering your desire and its purpose, the reason behind the reason—why it’s so important for you!

Affirmations are an incredibly powerful way to increase self-belief, courage and help you expand your life. Knowing what you want is the first step to having it—and simply convincing your mind that you can have it will help you change your habits and make it your reality.

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here!

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

How to use visualization and the power of mind

I had a beautiful brunch with my friends yesterday. We were celebrating my upcoming 40th birthday. I feel that I'm stepping in real adult- and womanhood, but at the same time, I feel ageless and good about getting old. Age is just a number and our attitude has a lot to do with how old we feel, and I never want to forget to play, be curious, have fun and try new things out - so what would really change?

Life is not a number, and I will never forget to play, be curious, have fun and try new things out - so what would really change?

Then, my friends were asking me about my visions for the year - what next?

Of course, my friends know that I live what I teach: use vision boards, reminders and different kind of techniques (habits) daily to keep myself happy and aware of where I am going in life - day by day (watch the last week's video of planning and procrastination).

I start my mornings quietly on my yoga mat. I try not to touch my mobile phone before anything else than a cup of coffee. I have all notifications off on my phone, so I don't get distracted (strongly recommended to everyone! Social media, emails and your phone just sucks you into distraction and overwhelm in a second).

My morning habits are part of my life that I don't even think about it anymore and don't want to live without - those moments in the morning time are my time. It sounds organized, but it's not like that at all: I flow with my morning schedules.

I do meditation, journaling, planning, and visualization - which is the IT tool that I talk about in my video below. It's The Secret all those books are all about.

On this video I'm talking about how to use visualization for short-time and long-term desires.

Visualization is simply about creating mental images for the future. It's about using your mind and imagination consciously, which you are doing every day and moment - unconsciously, the mind is fast - and that is how the brain works. It not about pushing through with a great determination towards the goals and forgetting what happens outside that track.

Visualization is a powerful tool helping us keep moving forward, and make things easier, daily life happier and you will become more trustful when you set your visions, define your goals and then - let go and get to that daily planning and life. Go!

To get back to my friends' question - I didn't know what to answer to my friends!

It’s a delicate and sacred thing when to share your dreams and visions publicly. I could have said I want to publish my book (I really do) and all those other things, just to say something. But I couldn't, as I haven't taken the next necessary steps yet. I did a new vision board recently, and now I concentrate on embracing today and feeling grateful of all what I have (the second part of THE secret) and there are many new things that need my focus and energy now - like my birthday celebrations! I have set my visions and I know it will happen - when the time is right.

Have you ever done a vision board? Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. And if you take my challenge from the video, I definitely want to hear how it goes.

With love, Jenni