Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

• Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

• Get out from your own way and emotions.

• Make changes consciously.

• Choose to behave differently.

• Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

How to reach that peak (your goals and dreams)

Climbing to a big mountain cannot be done in one day. It requires practice, good planning and excellent physical shape. Not forgetting the team and all the equipment. It requires the right kind of mindset, courage, motivation and faith it would be possible.

After all the planning has been done, the first phase of the actual climbing can be begun. You need to stop to get used to the thin air and wait until you are ready to proceed again. If it doesn’t feel right and the weather conditions are too dangerous, you have to postpone or call off the trip, as you don’t want to threat your life. 

Reaching out the peak requires patience and good nerves. Ability to listen and follow your instincts. It raises fears and requires stepping out from the comfort zone along the way.

Despite the danger people want to do it. Because it’s fun, exciting and it's possible to exceed the limits, make a dream true and experience something new and mind-blowing. And what’s makes the most of the trip, is the overall excursion - the peak maybe the goal but it wouldn’t be perfect without the preparations and landing. And it certainly leads to somewhere new.  

Not everyone want to climb the mountains. We all have different dreams and desires, skills and specialities. Even though there would be tons of people doing the same thing, you have your own individual gifts and lot of to give. So don’t waste your time - you are needed. Here I list the things you need in order reach the peaks that are important for you. 

But before you continue reading, stop to think for a moment:

What are you dreaming of? What would make you happy now? Write down the first thing that came to your mind. 

In order to make any kind of goals real you need to follow the same formula than the mountain climber:

• Choose a dream or goal you want to achieve. It can be big or small.

• Meditate and visualize it with tiniest details - see yourself at a goal and feel it in your bones. Feel how happy you are in that place. Even though it would feel crazy right now, trust in that small voice in your head. Own your dream. 

• Create ideas what you need to do, learn or know to start to make it happen. Create a lot of ideas, more than you can (creative ideas come after the obvious ideas, so keep going).

• Split it all to small tasks - make a list.

• Schedule, plan and prioritize the tasks. 

• Follow the plan, start from the easiest tasks to grow your courage on your new path.

• Along the way motivate yourself by going back to the original intuitive feeling of what you will achieve when you get to your goal. 

• When you are facing doubts or challenges, stop to see and feel deeply if it does feel right. Go back to original gut feeling if it does. 

• If it doesn’t feel right, change the course but remember our ego like to raise fears and resistance as it don’t like the changes. The fear can guide you to the right direction, so be willing to look what is causing your fears.

• Don’t rush or push to make it happen. Be patient and trust, you have set your intentions. Have faith, you’ll get there.

• You can cut inspiring images to remind you of you big dream and activate your subconscious mind.

• Create positive affirmations to keep your mindset open and positive.

• Even though your goal is in the future, concentrate on the small steps and tasks you created. It is the is what makes the most of it.

Creating the life you want requires your efforts. Sometimes we stray to think happy things are achieved by luck.  Sometimes we wonder why the neighbor seems to get it all.

This is your life, do what you love and do it often (The Holstee manifesto has been my great inspiration). 

Sometimes when people get what they have silently wished for they say, "Oh, I got so lucky." Then something goes wrong and ego whispers, “It was too good to be true.”

It is common that people are afraid of happiness. It can feel safer to keep the dreams unreachable. Because what happens after we reach what we truly desire? Well, more happiness.

It is possible to create more and more of positive cycles. Challenges and obstacles are meant to guide you, grow you and give you the right direction. You get what you give and what you want in all ways - you are the creator of your own life. 

I would love to know your thoughts or questions! What is preventing you or how did you make your dream true? Leave your comment below. 

And there's something new coming up! Exclusive visualization workshops will kick-start at the end of this month.

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With love, Jenni