How to deepen your intuition so you can listen and follow your inner voice

Just before the holidays, I sat down to chat with Tori Quisling who is intuitive and psychic.

Tori has been a professional clairvoyant and teacher for the past 35 years. She has been featured as an expert on news shows such as the Today Show, CBS News, as well as the New York Daily News and the Huffington Post. She is the founder of the Center for Clairvoyant and Intuitive Development and author of the books, The Clairvoyant Practitioner: A Simple Guide to Developing Your Psychic Abilities and Calling in Your Baby: A Clairvoyant’s Guide to Manifesting Your Pregnancy.

Her background includes working as a teacher at the Berkeley Psychic Institute in California and teaching workshops at the NY Open Center. We dive into how you can deepen your ability to hear your inner voice and actually take action on it.

Tori is offering a bonus workshop in the Conscious Creator program where she will guide you deeper into your own abilities to recognize the voice of your intuition and separate it from your emotions and patterns of the mind. 

Watch the full interview here:

After you have listened let me know your thoughts! If you know anyone who would love this episode, please share online and with your friends! 

If you want to know more about Tori’s work and her programs, the best way to connect with her is here on her website. You can also find her on Facebook and Instagram.

Love, 
Jenni

My journey to emotional freedom

Like most parents, I want my daughter to have a wonderful, happy childhood and to be the best mama I can be for her. 

In my last blog I shared how becoming a mother drove me to the next level of spiritual growth and awareness.

I’ve recently discovered cultural and ancestral patterns that have been running in my family for generations. That means I’ve worked with old wounds that crawled up from my subconscious along with motherhood. Yes, I'm diving into the depths of self-healing.

I’m highly motivated to do this work because I don’t want to pass my old stories and limiting beliefs on to my daughter. I want better for her, and when I do the work everyone, both me and my family, will benefit from it greatly. 

Already before her birth, I knew what I want to teach my child about life.

• I want her to learn she’s good enough and capable of achieving whatever she decides to do in her life.

• I want her to know it’s okay to make mistakes; challenges can be overcome and embraced as important milestones of growth.

• I want her to learn how to feel her feelings so she can be her authentic self and express herself easily.

It’s important for me to show her that these skills are the greatest drivers of creating a happy and meaningful life.

It’s all what I didn’t learn until later in my adulthood when I started my own journey of growth and consciously creating the life I want to live.

I am also (almost painfully) aware my daughter will have her own life lessons she needs to learn and I cannot protect her or smooth the way for her completely, no matter how much I may want to.

But I can do my share and consciously change the conditioning that is not serving her or me.

As I have chosen to do this work, I get to learn and release these patterns in everyday life.

My first Mother’s Day was quite an emotional one.

There were expanded feelings of happiness and joy when I got to spend the day with my little family, who pampered me so sweetly.  

There were also sudden feelings of self-doubt and anxiety, that I had not been able to recognize before. 

Instead of ignoring these intense feelings, I stopped to bring awareness to them and to find out what kind of stories lie behind these feelings.

I worried whether I can ever be a good enough mama to her as I feel flawed, vulnerable, and imperfect. 

These uncomfortable feelings revealed a huge insight for me:

I realized that if I don’t let my daughter see me as I am — and able to receive her love fully — I would be abandoning her emotionally and rejecting her love.

Then I as a parent would repeat exactly what I was unconsciously taught in my childhood: love needs to be earned and if I just give, give, give and be a perfect, good girl, then I’d be lovable.

It was a huge breakthrough for me to finally find the root cause for the fear of abandonment and the lack of sense of belonging. Both these have caused me all kinds of struggle, disease, relationship issues and fears. 

It took a while for me to understand how I had not been able to, and how difficult it was for me to fully receive love.

After realizing all this and changing my limiting beliefs, stories and patterns — and the energies related to them — I soon felt lighter and confidently rooted within my own being.

Now when I bond with my little girl I feel at ease. Looking at her loving eyes doesn’t make me hesitate any more. I started feeling deeper connection not only with her but with my husband, my parents and family - and especially with myself.

Self-acceptance and the ability to receive love are the foundations of deep and intimate relationships with ourselves and others.

By being our authentic selves and showing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, our kids, and we as adults can learn to accept ourselves and understand we are good enough and lovable as we are. It’s never too late to start making these changes. 

When we choose to take responsibility and do the inner work it shifts our energy, helps to heal relationships and allows us to become free to do and be our authentic selves.

And that’s powerful and something many people are craving for, because when these old stories and conditioning are changed, you can change your habits; get healthy; release physical conditioning, limiting fears and blockages that prevent you from creating a happy, fulfilling life that looks and feels like you.

When we face any kind of difficulties with others one of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves is:

How am I creating this? 

I know it's not easy to take responsibility when it feels like everyone else is creating the issues or like life is resisting your aims. It takes some courage to ask this question of yourself and be willing to recognize and face the truth behind it.

But if you dare to take the path to growth and listen carefully, you will get insightful answers and your own wisdom and guidance will help move you forward. 

Changing ourselves is the only way to affect and change others. I’ve seen this happening in my own life and my clients' lives over and over again. 

Your happiness and wellbeing depends on you. You are not your limited by how or where you grew up or what others do.

Your life is your creation and in the same way you have created it so far, you can make changes and redesign it consciously. You only need to make the choice and get started.

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you like this blog, head HERE to order my newsletter it was originally shared with my readers. When you subscribe you will get free resources, inspiration, guidance and much more.

RELATED BLOG: Are you repeating your parent's mistakes or your old family patterns?

My early childhood experiences blocked me from making money and allowing success

I was not different from other little girls when I was dreaming about being a ballet dancer at the age of five.

I’ve always been an aesthete, picky about the colors and clothes I put on, and I love flowing movement combined with everything beautiful.   

Last Spring I was in Nice, France for a long-awaited girls' weekend with my sister. On Sunday morning I went for a run on the beach promenade and on my way there I saw a gorgeous ballet tutu in a window.

I stopped to admire it and an old memory just popped up from nowhere.

I was born in a tiny village in the East of Finland and there were no proper ballet schools around.

I was living the dream when I heard a ballet teacher was on tour and would come to our suburb to teach a ballet course, and when my parents agreed, after a lot of convincing and stubborn begging, that I could go and they even bought me a simple white ballet tutu. I wore it at home all the time!  

I got to go to a couple of classes. Then the teacher disappeared.

Everyone was worried about her.

When the truth came out - she had left and stolen the money everyone had paid - it was a huge shock to our community and my family. There was a lot of hatred towards her.

I was devastated. I couldn’t believe how someone so nice, who was teaching and representing something so beautiful, could do that.

My father had to go to court to be a witness.

I remember I was afraid that they would take him too! I didn’t understand the whole thing and no one was even trying to explain it to me. My parents didn’t understand how much it was affecting me.

It was my first huge disappointment and my first experience of betrayal and crime.

She smashed my dream and the whole experience left deep wounds in me. I never got to go to the ballet classes, however I never say never but believe it’s never too late to learn new if we are willing.   

While this happened many decades ago, when I started working with it I found that these profound self-limiting beliefs were still someways affecting me.

When I got into it and did the work, I recognized the beliefs that were limiting me in many areas of life:

• It’s not safe for me to trust people: anyone can take away my success and dreams.

• I always need to be alert and in control to avoid disappointments and hurt.

• Money is evil and causes a lot of trouble for everyone.

All this had caused procrastination, which made me struggle with unworthiness, pushing myself forward and then pulling myself back before achieving my goals successfully.  

I couldn’t believe I still had these stories in me!

I had hidden this painful memory deep down until it suddenly triggered and only then could I start releasing these beliefs that sabotaged my happiness and success.

It all shifted quickly when I realized the connection, what caused it, and how it made me think and act.

Old hurts and beliefs are not necessarily affecting you in similar situations to the way you experienced them.

Usually, the blocks trigger different kinds of situations, which are bringing up the same emotion.

These early memories and experiences keep us from getting and doing what we want, limiting our ability to naturally expand and take our life to the next level; start new things; change our habits and patterns; receive love, success, and abundance.

Therefore, releasing the emotional attachment of the old painful experiences is the key to changing our patterns and habits, setting ourselves free to create a life, relationships and career that we want.

There is always an explanation for it, we are not powerless against our self-beliefs or victims of our past: when you change your mind you can change your thoughts and habits.

With love,

Jenni

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6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation. 

Related Course

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What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

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Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

• When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

• You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

• You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

• Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

The Glad Show with Laureen Ellison: I didn't only want a new job but a whole new life

On this episode of the Glad Show I talk with one of my clients, Laureen Ellison, who was able to dramatically change her life. We look at what changed and why, and talk about how Laureen consciously created the circumstances for this big leap in her career and life.

Why it's important to get really clear About what you want

Laureen is a successful powerhouse and a career woman in marketing and communications. She is the breadwinner of her family, mom of two and she loves travel, sports, and design. Today she’s living in Amsterdam with her family after living in New York City for more than 10 years.

In this conversation, Laureen is sharing what she did and how she was able to change from the  frustrating “not knowing” (other than she wanted something else, a new, bigger life but she didn’t know what it was or how to get access to it) mode to self-awareness and daily connection to self.  Trusting that she has what it takes to lead her life towards her desires consciously.

In just a couple of months Laureen made a big leap and shifted her life consciously based on her real desires: she found a new exciting job that took her and her family to live abroad, getting to travel to exotic places, while at the same time the new day to day life allows more time to be present and enjoy her family.  

All this is what she at some point thought was impossible. 

We talk about:

• What’s required for upleveling your career.

• How you become free to know what you really want next.

• How the culture and external demands often lead us far away from happiness, who we are and what we can do in life.

• What to do when the challenges come and it feels like there’s a bump in the road.

• The ways to start manifesting the big desires to come true.

• What the recipe to being successful and content in all areas of life is.

And much more!

This episode is great for anyone who wants to change their career and take it to the next level. For those who want to follow their passions but can’t currently connect to what it is they should do next or how to make the big shifts and move consciously forward.

Watch it here

After you have watched leave a comment below and share your thoughts or any questions you might have! 

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more.

Transform your days for successful, productive feel good days

If you feel like your days never seem to go as planned, you’re not alone.

If my day is not planned, and there are no clear intentions and time slots reserved for each type of activity, then I’m hustling, starting 10 things without finishing any of them properly and then staying behind my schedule. 

Typically at the end of those days I feel that I have wasted the day, there’s self-blame, anxiety, and I feel as though I got nothing done! Not good.

This is a usual “chicken running without a head day" for many, I know.

During the first years of my entrepreneurial life I got exhausted and drained, as I felt as though I was never complete and there was always so much to do!

The freedom I had got after leaving my 9-5 job led to time management issues and I didn’t have clarity.

I just couldn’t stop working and forgot my personal needs and self-care, as I had no structure or boundaries at all. I was scared to think about how much more I needed to do to be more productive and effective  - in order to get the results I wanted. It led to adrenaline exhaustion until I realized that it was about me.

I needed to change my habits and introduce clarity and structure into my days.

It’s not how we should feel in the end, even there are always so many things we need to do. The list is endless but our energy isn’t.

That's when I changed my habits and implemented new methods that helped me to find my freedom while staying super focused and in high vibration.

I started enjoying great days, one after another.

Soon I was super happy to notice it worked: I had improved my productivity; creativity; my overall wellbeing; and increased my income. I felt good about myself and worried less. I felt that I was in control and complete every day by working a lot less and flowing forward with ease.

It was then I designed my Clarity Method and the planner that helps me to stay spiritually, mentally, and emotionally aligned and flowing steadily forward towards my desires and goals.

This is how you can create intentional, successful feel-good days:

1. Sketch your days and plan your schedule the night before. You win your mornings by planning them the evening before and deciding what you are going to focus on each day. It takes less than five minutes!

2. Start the morning with a consistent morning routine. If you have limited time, do a short meditation and visualize the day ahead. Use your mind to imagine how you want things to go and how you want to feel when you’re done. The calming and centering feeling will carry you through the day. 

3. Feeling grateful and appreciative from the bottom of your heart for what you have now is the fastest way to manifest, using the power of the mind consciously.

4. Set intentions, goals, and your three love-to-do's for the day.

5. Decide when your day starts and ends.

6. Plan time for self-care, downtime, breaks, and exercise.

7. "Close" your day. Pay attention to the good things that happened that day. Before you end your day, trackback what went well and take the lessons you need to learn - and feel the feelings away by briefly journaling!

8. Sketch your next day's schedule in the evening.

9. Decide what time you'll wake up and what are your morning routines and habits.

Repeat this daily and you'll feel energized, successful, and complete & content in the evening.

Repetition is a way to change your habits. I mean ANY habits.

Your habits are starting from your thoughts and feelings.

This helps you to see the results at the end of each day.

Declutter the stressful feelings and any bad mood which may have arisen. The less we hide these feelings but release and feel them healthily, the freer and more relaxed we are. 

It's rewarding to track back and follow up on your life daily. 

You learn a great deal about yourself and what works for you but also see what doesn’t really work and let go of that without resentment. You can always start again, at any moment.

Paying attention to good things in the mornings and evenings leads to instant gratification and positive cycles.

You will then unlock the power of the mind and attract more of what you want in life - it all starts from daily action!

Like one of my clients said, setting the daily intentions is like magic; things go as we intend to.

To help you get to create successful, intentional days continuously while enjoying and getting done what you wanted and needed to, download the printable daily page of my Clarity Life Planner!  

Use it for planning your days, habits, feelings, wellbeing, tasks and activities.

Love, Jenni

To have a healthy, loving relationship self-knowledge is key

Personally, it was the hardest thing for me to learn to say what I need in my relationship. In the beginning, I would rather have bitten my tongue than talk about anything difficult or to explain what I needed, which I often wasn't even able to recognize myself. This led to resentment and passive aggressiveness.

Over the years I have blamed him for not seeing or listening to me, that was before I turned inwards to see my own input. How I haven’t paid attention and opened up a real conversation about it. Instead letting my past hurts get triggered, hurts which had nothing to do with him. 

We all have our default beliefs based on our earlier experiences. I never learned, or was allowed, to express my needs or feelings safely. It's a common issue that many generations experience. 

As a child, I learned surface emotions were expressed by arguing, and the real ones were to be hidden in the silence. But time and avoidance doesn't heal problems. Unresolved arguments and unexpressed needs only build resentment.

It’s easy to play the victim and to silently blame others or the circumstances, while avoiding feeling our feelings and showing our real vulnerable selves. Together, me and my partner have learned to discuss fears and issues when they show up.

To stay in balance I constantly need to pay attention to give love to myself, so that I can then receive it from my partner. I need to hear that I’m loved often enough and sometimes I ask for it. Now that I’m pregnant I need that even more! I could be cuddled and hugged all the time like a baby. Touching releases the oxytocin hormone, which is needed for getting the body ready for the birth and of course, the growing baby needs it too. But so do adults. 

This is what I often hear people saying:

“Why do I have to be the good one and take responsibility for the communication and bring things up?”

“It’s about him or her and I have done nothing wrong, I’m doing my best.”

“I wish s/he would change and understand me better.”

“S/he will never change. S/he always…”

“Why is it me who always has to…”

Because someone has to make the change. Nothing will change if we don't change it. This kind of cycle needs to be stopped and the patterns must be broken - consciously.

Over time couples become so close that they can't see the “bad’ habits and patterns they have created together. Habits which are causing repetitive battles and issues. This piles up when old hurts and misunderstandings aren't resolved.

It's never really about the other person. In the end, it's about us and resonating what we need to learn from ourselves so that we can resolve the issues that will help us to heal and grow.

We get so used to each other, and therefore often take the relationship for granted and become less compassionate towards our partner. It’s easy to neglect each other, and stop seeing who our partners really are and what they might be going through. It’s easy to just assume, rather than ask them and see them clearly. Often we don't (want to) recognize how our own input is causing the issue. It's not fair to complain to friends, and not have a real talk with your chosen partner. 

Lack of communication and trust and an inability to be vulnerable are causing the emotional, and intimacy problems in many relationships.

Often your other half has no idea what's going on and what you might be thinking, and needing - you need to communicate it. There are so many misunderstandings in relationships, which sadly often lead to separation or divorce, just because of defensive egos and because people are not connected to their own hearts and feelings and have not solved the issues from their past. 

Too many people do not understand what they are projecting or why they feel how they feel.

However, if there is love and willingness, these issues can always be solved.  

Other people are often our mirrors: what you think and feel about others, they might think that about you. They often project and resonate with what we are afraid of and think the very same thing about us!

We communicate and sense without words often and therefore attract similar situations until we are ready to stop and learn. But only spoken words can create connection and understanding - when we choose to approach conversations with peace and compassion.

If you need a change and are not fully satisfied in your relationship, you need to step up; be open about your feelings and needs; and start the communication. 

It requires courage to be the one who stands up for their needs and asks for changes. It requires the courage to connect with the heart and speak for yourself. You want to do it for your happiness. 

The better you know yourself, the better your relationships will be and the more open you can be.

Taking responsibility for your own needs is a measure of your self-worth and appreciation. And beautifully shows you your limiting beliefs and what you might be avoiding. Maybe it’s about fear of commitment, lacking deeper emotional connection, trust issues, fear of having real happiness or facing the truth...

It never goes wrong and people never turn against us when we are able to show our real feelings and worries vulnerably. It releases the tension and shifts the energy.

It’s not weakness, it’s power. It then opens up the possibility of your other half opening up and taking responsibility for their feelings. It simply leads to a resolution and clarity. It strengthens the emotional connection - and adds more love, partnership, and trust. 

We simply need to be who we are and be able to share our deepest fears and feelings to our partners safely. 

So, what to say and how to change this?

Say what you don’t want to say - I know it’s easy to say that, but it’s the truth.

Do what you don’t want to do and face your fears confidently. You’ll be rewarded.

If your issue is that you are over-compassionate and understanding towards your partner, and you carry their emotions too, you are probably forgetting your own needs. You deserve to get what you want and need, and you are worthy of asking for that.  

It might feel in the beginning as though it’s not working. That’s only because as you change your behaviour and release your defensive barriers your partner is not used to it. It’s like they can’t believe that you are not coming from a resentful, defensive place but instead are approaching the situation with peace and calm. It will change, we always face resistance and challenges before things start flowing. You are doing this for you both, for your relationship and for your happiness future.

Coming from a loving place provides an opportunity for growth. As we need to grow constantly in life, so too do we need to grow and change in our relationships.

I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment below: How have you resolved your relationship communication issues? How did you learn to speak up? 

Love, Jenni 

BEFORE YOU GO…

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here.

The Glad Show with Arnaud Collery: Stand up for your passion!

On this episode of The Glad Show, we talk with Chief Happiness Officer, Arnaud Collery, about happiness, passion and the ways how you can find and start following your purpose.

Arnaud is an influencer, stand up comedian, actor, party organizer, speaker, writer, coach, and author of the book Mr. Happiness!

He is a true storyteller and finds his inspiring stories on his travels and connecting with people. He has shed his skin and started from scratch multiple times by following his passions and exploring the world by traveling and living in multiple countries, including a South American tribe while he was searching for his meaning. 

Arnaud is the founder of Stand Up For Passion events that are organized in New York and all around the world. He has created the Chief Happiness Officer concept, and coaches companies and individuals connect and empathy at work through storytelling. 

We are talking about his fascinating story of life and how he eventually found the meaningful and fulfilling work that he is doing today. 

This episode is great for anyone who is at the crossroads and wants to find their passion and purpose in the world. We talk about authentic happiness, what it really means and how does it feel.

You'll get some tips on how to get started on creating your journey by following your real desires. 

Watch the interview here

AFTER YOU HAVE WATCHED THE EPISODE COMMENT BELOW AND SHARE your thoughts about passion OR ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE!

You can contact Arnaud and round more information about the Stand Up for Passion events and his book on his website.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for watching!

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more.

The Glad Show with Ruby Mitchell on self-healing: How I overcame two incurable illnesses

On this episode of the Glad Show, Ruby Mitchell joins me to talk about talk self-healing. 

She is sharing her incredible personal journey how she was able to overcome C-PTSD (complex trauma disorder), brain cancer and a rare, incurable, disease that was repeatedly creating life-threatening tumors in her skull. 

When doctors couldn't help, and give up on her, Ruby was able to find her superpowers and confidence to keep looking until she met the people and methods that eventually helped her to find the root cause of the diseases, and then heal and recover fully.

Her story is an inspirational story about the trial and error, and how the healing path was revelead to her one step at the time when she didn’t give up -- even when she was expecting her second child and then had to make brave decisions based on her gut and intuition.

Ruby is a family trauma specialist, psychotherapist, and clinical hypnotherapist - and a real master of self-healing. She is a dedicated therapist empowering and supporting women on their healing journey and helps them to transform their mindset in order to transform their bodies and their lives.

Ruby and I discuss: 

• How we have to take responsibility for our health and well-being as no one else can really do that for us but we have to insist healing

• What was the root cause of her disease and what in the end worked for Ruby

• Why we should never own our diseases and struggles

• How we all the healing powers and how her husband (who is a soldier and not any kind of energy worker) helped her to heal

• Amazing exercises that you can start practicing now:

  • How to reduce stress and let go of harmful negative feelings and energy from the body

  • Lift up energy quickly in the middle of the day

  • Connecting and supporting yourself and your inner child in a different way

This episode is a great watch for anyone who is interested in self-healing or struggles physical, mental, or emotional issues, and need hope and encouragement on their self-healing journey. Do not give up but get help and keep going, looking and trying out different kind of methods. Something will eventually work!

After you have watched the episode comment below and share your own healing story or ask any questions you might have!

You can contact Ruby on Facebook or by email at support@rubymitchell.com.au

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more

The Glad Show with Dr. Laura Brayton: The birth of a mother

What to expect and how to prepare your business and yourself to motherhood 

Dr. Laura Brayton is a holistic chiropractor, author, and speaker, she is extremely passionate about supporting the health and wellness of families. Dr. Brayton writes on health-related topics and is a lecturer for various holistic groups, including childbirth education centers, and new moms’ groups.

She has a podcast called “Well-Adjusted Mama” to educate and to empower women preconception through early motherhood on wellness lifestyle. In September 2017, she gave birth to her son, Finley, in the most amazing experience of her life.

Many women contemplate and hesitate how to have and manage it all: maintain a successful career, business, and relationship while becoming a mother while knowing life will change completely with the baby. 

Becoming a mother is an identity shift, one of the most significant physical and psychological changes women ever go through. 

The inner and outer expectations are often too high and unrealistic, which makes the whole process even harder if women don't have enough information on how to make right decisions for themselves, insight into emotions and what kind of challenges to prepare before and after the birth. 

On this episode, Laura is sharing what she has learned with working with women and new moms during over 13 years and her own experiences and challenges she faced with becoming a mother.  

• What most women don't know when they step into motherhood

• Why it's important to face the inner fears and learn how to let go of them already in the pre-conception phase

• How to deal with the comparison, guilt, shame, and frustrations when things are not going as planned

• How to let go of unrealistic expectations of the ideal, perfect mother

• The key things to staying well, centered, and the secret to handling it all

• The business strategy, financial planning, and preparations for the maternity leave

Watch the interview here

Listen to the audio here

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you!

Feel free to ask questions or share your own experience on this important topic in the comments below!

This episode is great for anyone interested in what women go through before and after becoming a mother and how to prepare for it holistically.

If you know anyone who would love this episode, please share online and with your friends!

Read more about Laura’s work at http://drlaurabrayton.com/

Love, 
Jenni

P.S. To get the updates and free resources in your inbox weekly, sign up to get my newsletter here 

If You Crave Change Read These Books

All these books are quite different but in the end, they're all about the life views, and beliefs, forcing us to question the habits of thinking and behaving. 

1. Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown.
The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. About speaking your Truth and recognizing your own value. "The foundation of courage is vulnerability."

2. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
For recognizing the upper limit problems (this is a fascinating concept) and knowing your zone of genius. 

3. Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.
"The four tendencies" Understanding my tendency has been invaluable to me. "To shape our habits successfully we must know ourselves."

4. High-Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard.
These researched habits are pure gold. I rarely read business self-help books and don't really talk about high performance as it has sounded cold to me. But I changed my mind when I read this book. It is all about human performance.

5. Inward by Yung Pueblo.
There is so much wisdom here. His Instagram page is fantastic, full of spiritual poems. "I gathered my habits and started releasing the ones that can never lead me to lasting freedom and joy."  
6. Loving what is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie. 
Find solutions to complicated situations, get clarity on relationships, and change the harmful beliefs and self-limiting stories. I have used the Work personally and with my clients for years. “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”

You create your habits and your habits create your life. 

I hope you find this list useful!

 

If you want more and practical guidance, sign up to get access to my free guide: 
 

The 7 Habits and Daily Rituals to Feel Calm, Connected and Energized Every Day
 

If you know anyone who needs inspiring books about personal and spiritual growth, share this post.

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

my dreamy, cheese love story on how I manifested my soulmate

*This blog was updated on Dec 17, 2020*

Seven years ago I had a big dream. 

My dream was to find a solid, truthfully loving, kind, and reliable partner. A soulmate.

The one who would be my best friend, my partner in crime and as independent as I am but who would love togetherness as much as I do. 

I had been going through rough life experiences and painful relationships. After losses, separations and painful but helpful realizations, I had been taking responsibility on my wellbeing and happiness in new ways, recovering and healing the wounds consciously.

It felt I was rising from the ashes and was ready to go again. Even I felt timid, and scared sometimes to even think about starting a new relationship. 

In some point I seriously thought about sacrificing my life for humanitarian work, helping others, and living alone as a modern nun! 

At the age of 35, it occasionally sounded like a valid option for me asI had decided I would not satisfy less than meeting the one who felt like he was the one.

I had already jumped out from the corporate world and I was creating a purpose-driven business based on my values, intuition, desires and skills. I wanted nothing more than to find my true passions and do meaningful work. I was researching happiness, psychology, healing methods, and universal laws on how to lead and create life instead of drifting in life. 

I had realized that I had been conspiring my experiences, so I took a full responsibility of my experiences, beliefs and patterns.  

My awareness grew rapidly as I focused on self-healing. My love an appreciation grew exponentially towards life, others- everything. Internally I started feeling free, connected, accepted and more of myself again.  

So much more that I started believing again that there would be someone, somewhere in the world, who was meant for me.

I set the stakes as high as all my new dreams - I determined that I’d rather live alone the rest of my life if I wouldn’t meet The One. 

I didn’t run out to the bars, or speed dates or started hunting anyone. It just didn't feel right, anymore. I allowed myself to "meet someone anywhere anytime" like everyone was saying to me. As I was empowering myself, I started trusting the unknown, my visions, and desires.

As I had already made some big shifts professionally before and had grown my courage to believe it is was possible to create the big leaps and make our desires true. 

I had been able to create and attract good things into my life - my career, my amazing apartment, the way I got out from the business world, the finances, the yoga teacher training in Nicaragua, which was the first step on my professional transition and transformation.

It had all been on my first ever vision board, or little intention notes that I had written. I had used the power of my mind, feelings and intentions to manifest it. 

Through my street-science research, I had learned it was possible to change our lives by shifting our energy, mindset, thoughts and focus - and create a new reality from inside out. 

It was almost overwhelming for me to realize how powerful we really are when there’s healthy self-worth, and we use our free will to make conscious choices by bringing our hearts to it

Things started to flow easily and effortlessly. As I intentionally focused on expanding love in every way every where I went and with everyone with who I interacted. I was bursting love. When I felt sometimes lonely and felt uncertain if it was completely ridiculous, I kept feeling and believing in my future visions.

I knew I was ready to meet someone, I just didn’t know how and what should do I do about it.

I wouldn’t have met my husband without the help of '“invisible forces”, the guidance that I got from the unknown psychic astrologist. One night I saw her ad online and ordered a free reading just for fun.

It changed my life.  

Next day I got an email from her and she was guiding me what I needed to do in order to meet my soulmate. She was urging me not to miss the opportunities that would be available for me shortly in two months.

Do more self-work, release your old beliefs about relationships, she said. And spent more time online, your first encounter will happen on a huge online service. She also said I’d win a large amount of money. 

There was doubt, for sure, as I couldn’t believe it would be possible to have something so good happening to me. But she seemed to know a lot of details about me without knowing anything about me. As I had nothing to lose, I decided to play, have fun, and get myself vulnerably out there.

I had not signed up for any large online dating sites as that didn't feel right either. My ex-boss had started an online dating startup, and she had created an account for me, but there were not that many people. So I didn’t do much more than detoxing my mind and spent more time online. That’s what I did anyway, so I forgot the whole reading! 

One night I logged in and liked the only person’s picture that I somehow liked. I was suspicious and hesitant but followed my intuition.

We started chatting and somehow things started moving forward quickly. I felt so nervous to leave for our first blind date. Because I knew it could be him and my life would change! And at the same time, I was scared what if he would not have been. It was very exciting and terrifying.

We met online in between those specifics dates she wrote about. Exactly like she described; first online on that dating site, then in Facebook and then soon on a blind date.

We lived only a few blocks away from each other. 

Our relationship developed smoothly and quickly, and he turned out to be exactly who I had been looking for. 

This week we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, 7 years together.

• I have learned that communication, listening, and appreciation create the foundation for the relationship - starting from yourself.

• We can’t either ignore the mirror effect, that repeats in every human relationships: You get what you give and can learn a lot about yourself from what you see.

• When you change yourself, others will change around you (I have witnessed this multiple times during my marriage) so taking responsibility of our patterns, past and self-work is crucial.

So this is how our dreamy, cheesy, love-story got started.

Since then I have created many more conscious, quantum leaps.

It's called a leap when the desire happens fast, and pretty effortlessly and it's based on clear, heart-based intention. It's not a magic skill, it's simply about the energy and physics that happens automatically when we release the past attachments, connect with the heart-based desires and move towards them with consciously and effortlessly.

We manifest everything, not only good things. It's much more fun to do it intentionally and enjoy the good results while staying present, connected and knowing where you are heading. This is what I call Self-Mastery - the way I live and many, many successful people live it too. 

Learn all about this in practice, how to connect with your real visions passions and to start using these tools, create a life and career you want. The doors to my online mastermind program are open a few more days, read more in here Embody Your Inner Power.

Much love,
Jenni

The Glad Show with Meg Berry on Self-love, Tantra and the Alchemy of Innocence

Meg Berry is a wellness professional, alt country singer-songwriter, and mother of three, Meg Berry, a.k.a. Tantra Cowgirl, is the owner of Artful Body studio in New Jersey and teaches classical Pilates, Tantra Core, MomCore and Tantra courses in person and online. She is the creator of Tantra Core, which combines the Tantric philosophy of wellness with the Pilates philosophy of fitness through movement and breathwork.

After healing her lifelong PTSD and body dysmorphia with Tantra, Meg was lit up with the desire to make Tantra and its effective healing accessible to everyone. She has the desire to make it accessible and effective to everyone seeking health and vitality - and Meg combines the Tantric philosophy of wellness through movement and breathwork.

On this episode we talk about:

• Meg's story on how she was able to heal herself

• What Tantra is really about

• When you learn to breathe you ignite the healing and wellbeing

• If you can feel it you can heal it

• Beautiful Bliss Breathe meditation; meditation of senses (video below)

We had some issues with the Internet while recording this episode on Facebook Live, so we shoot the meditation on a separate video. Which actually works much better!

Watch the full interview here

The Alchemy of Innocence meditation:

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you.

If you know anyone who would love this episode, please share online and with your friends! 

Love, 
Jenni

P.S. What topics or who would you like to see on The Glad Show? Comment below!

Alyson Noël: Don't believe what people say to you

Alyson Noël is the #1 New York Times bestselling, award-winning, author of 26 novels. With 9 New York Times bestsellers and over 8 million copies in print, her books have been translated into 36 languages and sold in over 200 countries. 

You may have read her novel series The Immortals, Riley Bloom, Soul Seekers or Beautiful Idols. Her Young Adult novel, Saving Zoë, is soon to be a major motion picture starring Vanessa Marano, and Laura Marano, with Jeffrey G. Hunt directing. 

I met Alyson three years ago in Bali where I started writing my first book. We sat down to discuss how she created an impressive, successful career by following her passions and building amazing success as an author.

In this episode Alyson shares:

• How she became a full-time writer after working for multiple other jobs for a long time

• How she, after working with her first book for 15 years, got it published

• Her daily habits and pragmatic approach and guidance for aspiring writers

• When is the right time to go after your dreams

• Why failing and being rejected is important for your growth and success

• What "you only need one yes" means

• Why you need to take responsibility of your stories, gifts, and skills and make the effort to get them out to the world without believing what people say to you
  

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you.

What is your big dream? Do you have the story or an idea in your mind that doesn't leave you alone?

If you have something you want to put out into the world, share your idea in the comments below. Let us know how does your first baby step look like and when are you going to take it?

I guarantee magic happens, when you put the intention out there.

Like Duke Ellington said: "I don't need time, all I need is deadline."

Also, if you know anyone who would love this episode, please share with your friends! 

Love, 
Jenni 

P.S. Here's two book wonderful book recommendations about creativity: Story by Robert Mckee and The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - Enjoy!

Anne Vainio: happiness is an everyday practice

Why happiness requires everyday practice? 

In this intimate interview, I talk with Anne Vainio about her unique story. After drastic losses and facing serious health issues she started a journey to the self and shifted from self-ignorance and numbness to self-knowledge and awareness - and built a new foundation to her life. 

IN THIS EPISODE:

• What does it really mean to connect with your true self.

• Changing from achievement to consistency and alignment.

• The essence of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual clarity.

• Why reinforcing happiness must be part of everyday routines.

• Big dreams can be achieved with consistent, patient steps.

• Clear future vision and intentions keep the passion and motivation high.

• Have fun: Stop. Reset. Play.

We also hit the big question: Is it necessary to lose something important before we take it seriously and find the motivation to seek help and make the changes?
 

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

The biggest lesson here is to learn how to listen and trust the inner voice and stop comparing ourselves with others.

To get connected with your authentic self again and creating clarity for the future, we basically went deep with these four questions:

• Who am I?

• What you want; what is that your deepest desire?

• What is meaningful and fulfilling for you?

• How to make it happen?

 

Stop. reset. play.
 

And have fun! Thank you so much for watching!

If you know anyone who could find it useful, please share with your friends! 

Karlyn Borysenko: workplace bullying led to a book deal

In this episode of The Glad Show, I talk with Karlyn Borysenko, who is an organizational psychologist, owner, and principal of Zen Workplace.

We deep dive into her personal story and experiences about workplace bullying and how she got fired when it happened.

All that eventually led to finding her own company, signing 6-figure agreements and getting a book deal. We talk about fears, patience, humanity, and especially, how to get courageously started when you have an important message and mission that helps to change the world for better. 

She shares how she found her way out from the unhealthy environment, got in touch with her real passion and started helping organizations create healthier and happier work environments. 

There is so much more, so just dive in...

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

Once you've had a chance to watch or listen, please join us in the comments on the blog.

I'm curious and interested in hearing what resonated most with you on Karlyn’s story?

Specifically… I'd like to ask you: What kind of personal story do you want to write in the future?

Thank you so much for reading and watching, I really hope you enjoy the interview! If you like it please share with your friends and social media. 

 

P.S. later I contacted Karlyn to ask her advice on workplace bullying, what to do when it happens? And this is what she replied:

Get out. Seriously. Go find another job. Don’t go to HR, because they probably won’t help you. The person bullying you has probably bullied other people before and HR likely knows about it and hasn’t done anything about it. You want to go find somewhere that will value you and allow you to thrive. And know that you’re not crazy, you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s not a reflection of your value or what you can contribute to the organization, so don’t let it get to you. When you’re out of it and are in a place that appreciates you, you’ll be able to look back on the situation and see it for what it is. www.zenworkplace.com

What I learned on the saddest day of my life

Overwhelm, anxiety, and feeling drained is, unfortunately, a new norm. I hear that every day from my clients.

And I can relate.

In this vlog I'm talking about the realization that helped me to change the course of my life and gave me the power to take it towards what I really desired and was passionate about: to find my purpose and authentic happiness.   

I'm also talking about why it's crucial to connect with ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally, and how to release the old blockages that keep you stuck in your situation.

You'll get guidance of how to start creating intentional life and why intentions really make a difference for your future.

There is a way out of the constant struggling and set yourself free. 

Watch the video or listen to the audio below.

If you like this vlog share with your friends! 

Boost your confidence and self-esteem and download my ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio here.

Thank you for watching! 

Love,
Jenni

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

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Love,
Jenni