My journey to emotional freedom

Like most parents, I want my daughter to have a wonderful, happy childhood and to be the best mama I can be for her. 

In my last blog I shared how becoming a mother drove me to the next level of spiritual growth and awareness.

I’ve recently discovered cultural and ancestral patterns that have been running in my family for generations. That means I’ve worked with old wounds that crawled up from my subconscious along with motherhood. Yes, I'm diving into the depths of self-healing.

I’m highly motivated to do this work because I don’t want to pass my old stories and limiting beliefs on to my daughter. I want better for her, and when I do the work everyone, both me and my family, will benefit from it greatly. 

Already before her birth, I knew what I want to teach my child about life.

• I want her to learn she’s good enough and capable of achieving whatever she decides to do in her life.

• I want her to know it’s okay to make mistakes; challenges can be overcome and embraced as important milestones of growth.

• I want her to learn how to feel her feelings so she can be her authentic self and express herself easily.

It’s important for me to show her that these skills are the greatest drivers of creating a happy and meaningful life.

It’s all what I didn’t learn until later in my adulthood when I started my own journey of growth and consciously creating the life I want to live.

I am also (almost painfully) aware my daughter will have her own life lessons she needs to learn and I cannot protect her or smooth the way for her completely, no matter how much I may want to.

But I can do my share and consciously change the conditioning that is not serving her or me.

As I have chosen to do this work, I get to learn and release these patterns in everyday life.

My first Mother’s Day was quite an emotional one.

There were expanded feelings of happiness and joy when I got to spend the day with my little family, who pampered me so sweetly.  

There were also sudden feelings of self-doubt and anxiety, that I had not been able to recognize before. 

Instead of ignoring these intense feelings, I stopped to bring awareness to them and to find out what kind of stories lie behind these feelings.

I worried whether I can ever be a good enough mama to her as I feel flawed, vulnerable, and imperfect. 

These uncomfortable feelings revealed a huge insight for me:

I realized that if I don’t let my daughter see me as I am — and able to receive her love fully — I would be abandoning her emotionally and rejecting her love.

Then I as a parent would repeat exactly what I was unconsciously taught in my childhood: love needs to be earned and if I just give, give, give and be a perfect, good girl, then I’d be lovable.

It was a huge breakthrough for me to finally find the root cause for the fear of abandonment and the lack of sense of belonging. Both these have caused me all kinds of struggle, disease, relationship issues and fears. 

It took a while for me to understand how I had not been able to, and how difficult it was for me to fully receive love.

After realizing all this and changing my limiting beliefs, stories and patterns — and the energies related to them — I soon felt lighter and confidently rooted within my own being.

Now when I bond with my little girl I feel at ease. Looking at her loving eyes doesn’t make me hesitate any more. I started feeling deeper connection not only with her but with my husband, my parents and family - and especially with myself.

Self-acceptance and the ability to receive love are the foundations of deep and intimate relationships with ourselves and others.

By being our authentic selves and showing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, our kids, and we as adults can learn to accept ourselves and understand we are good enough and lovable as we are. It’s never too late to start making these changes. 

When we choose to take responsibility and do the inner work it shifts our energy, helps to heal relationships and allows us to become free to do and be our authentic selves.

And that’s powerful and something many people are craving for, because when these old stories and conditioning are changed, you can change your habits; get healthy; release physical conditioning, limiting fears and blockages that prevent you from creating a happy, fulfilling life that looks and feels like you.

When we face any kind of difficulties with others one of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves is:

How am I creating this? 

I know it's not easy to take responsibility when it feels like everyone else is creating the issues or like life is resisting your aims. It takes some courage to ask this question of yourself and be willing to recognize and face the truth behind it.

But if you dare to take the path to growth and listen carefully, you will get insightful answers and your own wisdom and guidance will help move you forward. 

Changing ourselves is the only way to affect and change others. I’ve seen this happening in my own life and my clients' lives over and over again. 

Your happiness and wellbeing depends on you. You are not your limited by how or where you grew up or what others do.

Your life is your creation and in the same way you have created it so far, you can make changes and redesign it consciously. You only need to make the choice and get started.

Much love, Jenni

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RELATED BLOG: Are you repeating your parent's mistakes or your old family patterns?

Know Yourself Beyond the Thoughts

Last week I was in Greece at the Know Thyself retreat with Eckhart Tolle.

He is warm, compassionate and surprisingly funny. He is a weird and extremely wise human being, and yes, he still has an ego.

I didn’t really know what to expect from the retreat but my intention was to deepen my consciousness.

I have never taken fewer notes in a retreat or seminar than I did on this retreat. I have always taken a lot of notes but this time I wanted to stop focusing on my notes, over-achieving, and instead focus on being, breathing and allowing it soak in.

It was part of the practice and it worked well.

I got a great reminder of why I started doing the work I’m doing today. It all started from the present, through my own, not that gentle experience, of awakening.

With all acceptance of and detachment from my past, I have to say it could have been a lot easier if I hadn’t resisted the change so much but listened to my inner voice.

It’s very common for people to say life or universe, higher powers, god, however you call it, doesn’t want me to do or have this.

Or they think the universe needs them to go through something the hard way.

It’s not true, the limitless, abundant universe wants all the best for you.

Each and every moment we create our reality; the manifestations are based on our choices: from thoughts and feelings to reality.

Most people are just not conscious about it. They don’t want to stop to see it, as their unhappy repetitive stories keep them stuck in their minds and resisting their goodness.

I can relate.

For years I was waiting for the “sign” and the right time and in the meantime I kept suffering. I didn’t see there were signs all around me. It was roaring in my ears while I kept myself struggling.

I lived in denial without the ability to face the challenges and the feelings I felt, trying to shut down the calling and my desires to become a creator. It all made me feel that I was living a trapped life.

I learned that becoming aware of your thoughts and you can then recognize the mind patterns.

For me, spirituality means and is one important part of us, it’s part of humanness. It’s not a religion, nothing that someone has or hasn’t, it’s awareness about the essence of the self. It’s a key to happiness and contentment.

Once you become aware of the awareness, presence and the conditioned self, you become free.

It’s the learned old beliefs and emotional concepts that keep people in the cycle of self-sabotage.

To have a life you love, you have to create it consciously.

Getting over obstacles and challenges, that will never go away completely, becomes a lot easier when there is self-awareness and non-judgemental unconditional acceptance.

Acceptance (and forgiveness) is the key to releasing and changing anything. Accepting our situation, ourselves, and others are the keys leading to consciousness and sense of self - being you requires no time at all.

At any moment peace can be found in the presence, connecting with it by breathing and sense of self.

The more open we are to receiving, the easier it is to make good choices and put in the conscious effort that will open up more possibilities for us.

The answers and creative solutions can be found from stillness, behind the distracted mind.

Learn to listen.

Practice being present and learn the habits of becoming aware and connecting with the self. Life is not satisfying if the spaciousness is missing.

My biggest takeaway from the retreat was the “hurry slowly” practice that became part of my days.

I’ve been balancing between the high-intensity energy, creative bursts, that have kept me in the doing mode, thinking about the next thing in the future, and the total being mode when nothing happens.

Hurry slowly means that I consciously connect with the presence, checking my thoughts and feelings and the space behind it. I want to balance the yin-yang, push-pull feeling and bring more being and doing together.

How to do it?  

Set the timer and stop for a couple of minutes every hour to check in and do nothing, think nothing and just breathe.

Breathing, which is automatic and a gift itself, connects with the consciousness, our higher selves and the body.

You breathe is always with you. That’s the way to create more time too. There’s no time in presence. Or there’s as much time as you need.

We don’t have to be totally zen or aim to attain complete thoughtlessness or egolessness. Our mind also protects us, keeps us safe.

We don’t need to meditate hours daily, sacrifice our sleep, or over-achieve the spiritual practices, or do years of soul-searching.

Little things matter, you don’t need time to find the best version of yourself. It’s already there: you are here.

Connect behind the cacophony, and enjoy the yourself. You deserve goodness and happiness, now.

Becoming free from ourselves requires conscious awareness:

Learn to recognize your thoughts and feelings to let go of the past with unconditional acceptance.

Elevate your thinking, rise above the obvious.

Ask questions, don’t believe the old stories you tell yourself.

Get support.

When you are willing to change and are ready to heal, it will happen. What you want wants you.  

How can you deepen your consciousness? How could you listen to yourself better?

I’d love to hear from you! Ask questions, or comment below what habits or changes have worked for you!

Much love, Jenni

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What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

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