Get in Sync and Manifest Good in the Moment

Many people have asked me how it is to travel and fly with an infant. Some are hesitant to travel with a child. Stella is now 8 months old and has flown several flights, been on road trips and ferry rides - all the ways of transportation there are.

Either she's used to getting out and about and going to places from the early on but she is also an easy-going and curious baby, and now socializing and making contact with other people all the time. Maybe she’s not an introvert like her mama! I had to teach myself later in life how to do it all, she seems to do it naturally or it’s just the phase, we’ll see. Anyway, she makes traveling really easy for us and clearly enjoys observing people and exploring places.

All it requires is good planning around naps and feeding, making sure there's enough quiet time for recharging and avoiding over stimulation, that she gets enough cuddles and feels emotionally safe at all times. Plus ensuring there are opportunities for taking breaks and allow her to move, crawl and practice all those things that are related to this age so she can use all the excess energy she has. 

Also, being prepared for surprises and knowing that things won't go as planned is always a good idea when traveling, whether there is a baby on board or not.

This year we had our family vacation in the South of France, in Nice and Corsica. This trip didn’t come without surprises either.

We had planned to take the car ferry from Nice to Corsica. We knew the boat was fully booked and decided to rush up from the melting hot and fully packed car deck to the lounge area to make ourselves as comfortable as we could and to reserve ourselves seats for the trip.

But… When we got to the lounge area we realized all the seats were numbered, which could only mean they should have been pre-booked. We quickly found out that our tickets only included the deck seats. Basically meaning we would be sitting 6 hours out on the deck or on the floor in the hallway with the baby. 

It was too sunny, windy and wet outside for her. Honestly, I was not too excited to sit on the floor for all that time. I wondered how feeding and naps would go in the narrow but busy hallway where people were passing us all the time. 

However, I couldn't do anything else. 

It reminded me of my low budget travels in my 20's and backpacking trips in Asia and around. The circumstances haven't always been that neat and I've slept in some interesting places.

Somehow this situation smelled like an adventure for me. Yes, family life is quite structured and I'm a personality type who gets bored easily with routine and repetition, so somehow I was able to get a kicks out of our ferry trip.

One of the things Motherhood has so gracefully taught me to let go and surrender like never before and accept what is happening in each moment.

That means that I have to stop doing what I want to, put my phone and laptop away and forget what I’ve had planned when the baby wakes up earlier and when things change suddenly and often, like they do with the kids.

I've learned to shift my mindset and let go of negative feelings on the go more than before, just rise above all that crap my mind would like to stick with. When I just can't do as much as I used to do before - using at least an hour per day to keep up my spiritual practice - I've learned to turn inwards in the moment and shift my thoughts and set intentions without the possibility of journaling or longer meditation or contemplation.

Quite often when we don't have that much time to think it all through we just get things done courageously and efficiently — the mind can’t then get on the way. Often when we think too much our mind creates all kinds of excuses and insecurities - and then we are doomed. The thing is that I had a habit to overthink and I often got stuck and start procrastinating because the inner fears and hesitations kicks in.

All this though has made me become more aware of how powerfully and quickly these conscious shifts of thinking and setting clear intentions can manifest good, and I've been enjoying to play with it.   

So when we sat on that deck I allowed myself to feel the adventure and quickly shifted my thoughts, accepted what is and decided to make it as good as the ferry ride could be. 

Me and my husband have traveled a lot so it helps that neither of us rarely make a scene when things are not going as by the book.

Later in the evening, it turned out we had the best seats in the boat!  

It turned out that the AC was either not working or didn’t even exist in the ferry.

It was melting, over 30 C degrees inside. It was intolerable and people had to escape outside to the deck with their kids and dogs.

We were enjoying cold drinks, the shade and the sea breeze that was blowing from the open doors in our secured spot. Baby napped in the carrier ( a must have to help with babies on the go and at home too) and as I'm still breastfeeding feedings on the go works easily. 

When we are conscious about our thoughts and feelings we can set intentions, shift our mindset and let go of the stressful feelings in the very moment. It always works miraculously and instantly... That is how our energy attracts things and what we put out there comes back to us. All what it requires is self-awareness, self-knowledge and good emotional habits, ability to observe and choose how to respond and react to the events of life.

For example in this situation I could have said “I knew this trip was going to be a disaster. This is just so typical for us, we always….” and then blame and pass it on to my husband, “Why you didn’t book the seats beforehand?” The outcome would have been different.

Now, to learn how to manifest good in the moment, the first thing is to become aware and learn how to change the stories that you tell yourself and your habitual inner beliefs that are mostly not true.

You see, there’s 50-50 chance that anything good or bad can happen in the future or the next moment. It’s 100% better to believe and trust you are always getting the good and the best outcome. No one knows for sure what will happen in the future. Even when the obstacles occur, it’s crucial to learn out of it and have faith there’s a reason for it and move on.

Download the free guide to learn more how to start making changes from inside out and how to release and let go of the stories and start raising your awareness and ability to consciously manifest good in your life.

What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

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Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

• When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

• You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

• You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

• Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

Karlyn Borysenko: workplace bullying led to a book deal

In this episode of The Glad Show, I talk with Karlyn Borysenko, who is an organizational psychologist, owner, and principal of Zen Workplace.

We deep dive into her personal story and experiences about workplace bullying and how she got fired when it happened.

All that eventually led to finding her own company, signing 6-figure agreements and getting a book deal. We talk about fears, patience, humanity, and especially, how to get courageously started when you have an important message and mission that helps to change the world for better. 

She shares how she found her way out from the unhealthy environment, got in touch with her real passion and started helping organizations create healthier and happier work environments. 

There is so much more, so just dive in...

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

Once you've had a chance to watch or listen, please join us in the comments on the blog.

I'm curious and interested in hearing what resonated most with you on Karlyn’s story?

Specifically… I'd like to ask you: What kind of personal story do you want to write in the future?

Thank you so much for reading and watching, I really hope you enjoy the interview! If you like it please share with your friends and social media. 

 

P.S. later I contacted Karlyn to ask her advice on workplace bullying, what to do when it happens? And this is what she replied:

Get out. Seriously. Go find another job. Don’t go to HR, because they probably won’t help you. The person bullying you has probably bullied other people before and HR likely knows about it and hasn’t done anything about it. You want to go find somewhere that will value you and allow you to thrive. And know that you’re not crazy, you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s not a reflection of your value or what you can contribute to the organization, so don’t let it get to you. When you’re out of it and are in a place that appreciates you, you’ll be able to look back on the situation and see it for what it is. www.zenworkplace.com