Feeling angry?

If you’re dealing with anger issues you are not alone.

We don't really talk about it because... there's so much shame related to it.

I’ve been personally working with my own anger issues that surfaced up after I suddenly saw the people-pleasing, codependent habits I had.

I was working on myself with confidence and wrote in my journal about what confidence means to me. How does she looks like, behave like, feel like.

From there I got into independence and stopped there. I felt I had lost a part of myself, my identity- the one that I was a few years ago. I wanted her back.

At first it was really hard to accept the patterns and behaviors. I suddenly saw it everywhere. It was like a web that had affected me my whole life.

I researched and studied everything about it. I felt sad as I knew it was huge and challenging to start healing and change it.

I went to my old coping mechanisms of mine, numbing the feelings, bottling up the confusion, and therefore feeling depressed.

After a week of feeling miserable I was ready to accept it and see how these patterns had played a huge role in all areas of my life.

At work, money and all my relationships had repeated the same patterns. 

All that was copied from what happened to me and in my family as a child.

My role was to put on the happy face, avoid conflicts and tuck the uneasy emotions away. 

Rather please others, ignore my own emotions than feel abandoned, rejected. 

I realized how self-harming it was and how angry it made me when I ignored my needs and priorities so I started healing the patterns step by step.

Then underneath the sadness, the anger started rising. I thought I had done with it already but there was more. This was the anger I had hidden for a long time carefully. And it was not all even mine.

I was raised with strictness and had nothing much to say about what I wanted. I learned to hide my emotions and opinions as it was not safe and I felt wrong to have them. As my emotions didn’t matter, I started believing I didn’t matter.  

Eventually, underneath the anger, it was all about sadness like it often it.

I deeply craved to be seen, heard, and able to express herself freely without fear of punishment or emotional abandonment. Without the need to be perfect. Already as I child, I stopped letting it in as I felt it was not available and therefore I rejected myself, the young one in me who deeply needed my attention, my tenderness. It was the self-rejection that actually made me reject the good that was available to me.

This is how the subconscious keeps us safe and protected, thinking it’s the way to avoid the pain. Then it comes out as anger.

The results of this healing work

I feel more empowered and have clearer boundaries and abilities to express my needs and desires than ever before.

There are fewer negative voices, self-criticism, and judgment in my head is gone- people-pleasers are terribly judgmental towards themselves.

I express myself and my emotions easier. I’m more forgiving and so much more accepting and loving towards myself and others. 

It’s not always a straight easy line to reach our desires but this is what I wanted. 

Anger is an emotion as well as other emotions but when it’s explosive, uncontrollable, and constant the patterns and their roots that are often subconscious need healing. 

You are not born angry, one of your characteristics may be frustration like mine, but your critical, judgmental or explosive behaviors can be healed. 

We all have been shamed for expressing our anger and that’s not how we “should be.”

There are inherited cultural and patriarchal patterns (which is not about genders) and of course, the unique family patterns and dynamics add to it. 

The triggers are stored in the body. We can’t avoid letting these things in when we are young, but we can stop passing it forward. 

We don’t even notice how these affect us but wonder why we feel we can’t express ourselves and feel free to be ourselves but rather feel neglected, suffocated, and shut off, betraying ourselves and our truth again and again. 

Hiding, trying to unfeel it, shaming ourselves for feeling anger doesn’t make it go away. It just starts to eat us from the inside and leads to other issues.

It’s safe for you to feel angry, be angry, and learn to let it go healthily and safely with high self-respect. 

It’s safe for you to heal the root causes and stop carrying the anger that only hurts you, no one else really.

We often like to fight for the needs of young selves, trying to desperately get our needs fulfilled, get justice, trying to force or hope people around us or in our past would change or miracles would happen.

Hope that parents would suddenly apologize, or partners or people who have hurt us would suddenly change their behaviors and see us as we all uniquely want to be seen to feel loved, safe and successful.

• Sometimes people change when we change and heal ourselves.

• Sometimes they don’t. It’s not up to you to decide.

We’ll never get the childhood we would have needed and that requires acceptance and letting go of the anger we might feel for our caretakers.

The truth is others can’t fill the hole inside us, but we can do it for ourselves so we can then receive it from others.

Until the old wounds are healed we keep fighting and battling and blaming others for our issues, feelings.

Emotions are supposed to keep us safe and protected.

Anger is often related to rejection and abandonment wounds we have experienced earlier.

Then the subconscious patterns keep us repeating exactly the same in our life later on what we have witnessed or experienced in our childhood.

If you are dealing with a lot of anger or even rage there’s nothing wrong with you but there are wounds to heal.

Healing yourself is your responsibility and also, a possibility.
 

How to start releasing anger:

1. Witnessing and accepting it's there.

2. Sit with it. Journal about it. Voice-record your feelings. Allow insights to come. Who are you angry with?

3. Breathe through it. Keep repeating it until it’s gone.

4. Ask what the child inside you need. Give that to the child, they crave to be seen.

5. What kind of action needs to be taken? What kind of boundaries do you need to set?

Do the work. That is often the hardest part but so worth it.

If you are ready to get more personal support I can help. Book a call here

The sessions help you to release the root causes and then you become free to change your habits, behaviors, and how you feel. When you change the relationships with yourself and then others change naturally.

If you like this blog let me know your thoughts in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you.

Much love,

Jenni

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I was constantly setting myself up for failure

I was on my way to a meet-up that I arranged with a group of conscious entrepreneurs women here in Mallorca.

I have craved community, meeting people in person too rather than online, so I decided to create one! (my global group is here).

Now that we are getting on the other side of the pandemic and restrictions are almost off, including the masks, it’s been SO good to meet people in real life.

So on my way there I needed to run fast to catch the bus.

I thought I won’t make it but then decided to give it a try and voila that worked!

This: running to the bus brought up a childhood memory.

Our neighbors always knew what time it was when they saw me passing their house as I was running to the school bus at 8:15 am while putting my jacket on.

I was always biking to school, really, really fast.

I was running to the tennis classes through the bushes sweating, changing clothes too quickly with that huge adrenaline rush.

I studied for the exams late at night, memorizing everything and then pulling it out on the paper the next day, not remembering much afterward.

I got good grades so it kind of worked until more was required and memorizing it all was not enough but I needed to put in some real work.

Probably I don’t need to even mention the airports… no matter if I was going for a business trip or on holiday I sweat myself to make it to the flight.

A couple of times I missed the flights and felt so so guilty about it, punishing myself mentally for procrastinating and not being able to manage my time aka myself.

Then at work, when there was a big presentation, a deadline, or later when I was working for my business, for some important things, like webinars, with marketing, calls with potential clients, I started preparing for important things too late…

I was always in a rush, late, leaving too late, doing everything at the last minute but always making it somehow there.

It all made me feel stressed, anxious and overwhelmed. The adrenaline running through the veins keeps stress levels and hormones high and it is draining and exhausting.

So much that I couldn’t enjoy the actual accomplishments, the moments and the journey.

Like it was not safe for me to be on time, feel good, take it easy and enjoy.

I lacked focus, intention & the right kind of energy.

Things didn't really flow with ease.

I managed to push through successfully but this pattern, which was a success and happiness block really, gave me so much stress, anxiety, overwhelm and pressure.

This cycle sabotaged me and my success.

I REALIZED I WAS CONSTANTLY SETTING MYSELF FOR FAILURE

I started asking myself why I didn’t allow myself to get ready early enough, enjoy doing things I wanted to do and that really excited me.

It meant I was addicted to struggling and hustling and needed.

My subconscious belief was that I need to be busy all the time, do something, produce more things, always create new, feel that move on constantly… because otherwise, and this is really what my subconscious beliefs were:

• I would not be existing- be seen, get attention, accepted, be liked and loved

• It was not safe to stop and slow down to receive and see my own efforts

• That I didn’t do enough or be enough while at the same time I hold myself back from accomplishing my goals and desires (even in daily life) far away from me.

I had always been a hard-working girl, believing it all (love success balance) needs to be earned.

I consciously knew what I wanted and where I aimed but I internally resisted all that.

This was one of the success blocks I needed to break so I could take the time, trust the process, and allow myself to enjoy it and my life and accomplishments entirely.

Because it was all new to me, going to the next level is challenging until we breakthrough and it again slowly becomes our comfort zone. Then we need to do it again.

Our subconscious mind conspires and aims to keep us safe and protected to where we are no matter how painful it might be.

We all have these stored beliefs and patterns stored in our bodies that pretty much lead our lives until we change them and heal the old stories.

I was afraid to be seen, be heard, be visible in my personal and professional life.

I was afraid that I’d be too much and be attacked because of that.

So I kept myself invisible and small.

The same pattern kept me in the masculine energy, doing doing doing, not giving myself permission to have a slow lunch, nap, or even go to the toilet or take breaks, as I tried to rush myself there.

Often I didn’t even know where I was going.

This realization and healing of this block and the stories related to it shited my energy and my essence and helped me to start expanding my work and business to a whole new level- with ease, grace, and love.

Meaning:

1. I have time to go to yoga classes or do my own practice.

2. I rest during the days and before I go to pick up my daughter.

3. Journal, and sort of meditating many times a day, clearing the energy and feeling my feelings quickly.

4. I consistently take action and move towards my visions and follow the plans.

5. The energy of my business but also my personal energy has changed and that vibration has shifted things and how I attract clients, income, results.

6. I feel more balanced, connected, have better inner peace as I trust the process and know there's tomorrow.

7. It’s not perfect, it’s not linear, like nothing in life is.

All this shows high self-worth and trust (oneself, life, the process, the unknown), which is the foundation of feeling safe.

Trust issues are common and cause a lot of despair and are the source of anxiety.

Success is not something to achieve.

It’s something to feel, vibrate and know deep in your gut.

• You know where you are heading and you have a plan.

• You have ideas about how do you get there.

• You take action towards your goals and desires.

• You align your mind, your feelings and your energy with your goals.

• You have your personal and professional life in balance.

• You have your personal wellbeing practice.

• You take time to ponder, think and feel to listen to yourself and your inner wisdom.

Embracing all your successes, all your experiences, and expanding from that place life becomes so much easier.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this and if you can relate to this!

⚡ Is your dream to feel at ease, flow, and feel relaxed while you work for your business and you know things can feel easier, more joyful and you want to enjoy your accomplishment daily?

⚡ Do you tend to sabotage your success, your goals and wellbeing somehow?

If yes and you are ready to go to the next level, I have a 6-week 1:1 program Stuck to Success & Flow open now that helps you heal the success blocks, habits or patterns that come in your way so you get your life and career or business on the right track.

Apply to book a complimentary clarity call with me & we’ll chat about how you can move forward.

Much love,

Jenni

Image by Hello I’m Nik from Unplash

Boost your confidence through the roof

My client Anne came to me with these issues:

• She struggled with an addiction to deferring to other people.

• She constantly self-negated her power... she was too “nice” and a chronic caretaker.

• She had a deep lack of confidence and struggled with inadequacy, her relationships were somewhat codependent.

• She had a fear she was not competent enough, constantly comparing herself to others.

• Perfectionism. She hesitated and second-guessed herself and didn’t let her creativity flow.

She felt she was not FREE.

All this with her own words.

All this even she had had a long remarkably successful creative career.

After her years-long project ended she took a hiatus.

Then… she just couldn’t make herself get back to it, start creating, but issues came up.

Her work had been validating her externally.

When she lost that she became aware of other things in her life and started sabotaging herself.

In 4 months’ time we dived into all this we worked on...

• her relationship with her Self: love, acceptance, knowledge, compassion

• her habits, people-pleasing, and codependent behaviors - we set clear boundaries and practiced saying no

• all the anger, guilt, and resentment coming up from the past was healthily released and patterns were healed

We focused on confidence and self-esteem, which I have found to be the key element for people to become successful, courageous, happy as they are - in all areas of life.

The results:

• She started working again… glowing new energy… creative ideas and excitement burst

• She put herself out there, meeting people again

• She started taking care of herself, her body, her needs and focused less on others (healthily)

Her relationship with her partner and children changed for the better; more loving, more intimate, more compassionate.

Self-esteem and confidence are not something we have automatically.

It's not something some people have more than others.

Often successful people struggle with their relationships.

Often people with a healthy relationship struggle professionally, stumble upon their success blocks.

We are not born with a sense of inner power.

When we are children, it’s our external environment that has the power that we learn to refer to.

All of our experiences shape our level of self-esteem, our ability to trust ourselves, and others, life.

They are like a skill we have to develop and hone along the way.

Often it's our obstacles that show us where we need to do the work so we can rise into our power again.

Confidence is about trust:

• When we have good self-esteem we trust ourselves.

• When we trust ourselves we can listen to ourselves.

• When we listen to the inner voice we do/be/have what feels right to each of us.

• When we

That’s how we can keep the sense of inner power, the boundaries, that makes us feel good about ourselves every way.

The connection with yourself requires care and constant nurturing- it's the most important relationship you have.

I have recorded a free Grounded Confidence meditation that helps you hone and grow your confidence and boost self-esteem. You can download it here.

After you have listened to it, I'd love to hear how did you like it!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you want more balance, more love, and success, you can book a complimentary clarity call where you find out what’s actually coming in the way, why you might be feeling stuck and how you can solve it.

Client sessions: I can't make money. My business is just an expensive hobby.

In this Subconscious Clarity Coaching session, I work with Cirila Valmaggia. Cirila is a wellness coach helping midlife women release weight and change their wellbeing habits so they can enjoy long-term results. 

When Cirila reached out to me she felt totally blocked from getting clients and making money. She was self-sabotaging, struggling with the fear of failure and happiness at the same time. 

She said, her business was only an expensive hobby for her. While she was working hours per day she felt paralyzed and unmotivated from taking action, asking for money, and connecting with prospective clients. 

In the session, we start working with her issues and business goals consciously. Then we dive in to work with her subconscious, so that we are getting clarity about the root cause of why she was not able to make money and fear of creating create clients to get an understanding of why she was doing that for herself.

We then work with the mindset, her offers, and creating a clear action plan and also prepare for similar future roadblocks.  

She’s able to discover and release some big patterns and limiting beliefs coming that were holding her back from receiving money or success decades later since the events happened:

“If I don’t have anything, I can’t lose anything.”

“I never get what I want.”

“I’m willingly taking the pain if that prevents other people from being in pain.”

This session shows how powerful the subconscious mind is and how it can hold us back, blocked, and struggling with ourselves, our habits, and emotions painfully for ages until we take back control of the struggle, and shed light on it and release them.

The good thing is that when we become aware of the root causes, things can be changed very quickly and action becomes possible.  The brilliance of the subconscious work is that it’s fast.

We, or our issues, are not that complicated as we often think.

I checked in with Cirila a day after the session, and she was already taking action with everything she committed in the session. She said she was on fire creating new offers she felt aligned with.

So right after the session she started taking action on what she had only aimed and dreamed for over 1,5 years. This is really showing the power of the mind and what happens when we are able to release the stories and the emotional attachment with the old childhood experiences.

This episode is good to listen to:

• If you are unable to receive, keep or make money,

• You are feeling stuck and struggle with your habits, wellbeing, and self-sabotage.

• If you have a tendency to drain yourself with overworking, doing too much or follow your plans and get things done.

• If you struggle with overwhelm, anxiety or procrastination, somehow avoid and have difficulties in taking action.

After listening, you will understand better what are the subconscious blocks and beliefs and how it is possible to change them and yourself powerfully and rapidly for good.

This is the inner power, showing how you can change and own your old stories and become free from them.

Listen to the recording of the session here:

Many things and beliefs discussed in these sessions are universal and relatable and not uncommon at all. This is one of the reasons I want to share this information.

If you struggle with something similar, I hope this empowers you to believe you can get over your issues and find your way forward.

If you resonate with this and want help with your money blocks, productivity, procrastination, or letting go of other self-sabotaging habits and blocks:

Connect me to book your session here

You will leave the session with a plan, feeling confident, reassured, and able to see and change what hold you stuck in your situation. 

Then… I would love to hear from you!

Did you enjoy to listening to this session? Where you able to related to Cirila’s story and her beliefs? Leave a comment below!

Much love,
Jenni

My journey to emotional freedom

Like most parents, I want my daughter to have a wonderful, happy childhood and to be the best mama I can be for her. 

In my last blog I shared how becoming a mother drove me to the next level of spiritual growth and awareness.

I’ve recently discovered cultural and ancestral patterns that have been running in my family for generations. That means I’ve worked with old wounds that crawled up from my subconscious along with motherhood. Yes, I'm diving into the depths of self-healing.

I’m highly motivated to do this work because I don’t want to pass my old stories and limiting beliefs on to my daughter. I want better for her, and when I do the work everyone, both me and my family, will benefit from it greatly. 

Already before her birth, I knew what I want to teach my child about life.

• I want her to learn she’s good enough and capable of achieving whatever she decides to do in her life.

• I want her to know it’s okay to make mistakes; challenges can be overcome and embraced as important milestones of growth.

• I want her to learn how to feel her feelings so she can be her authentic self and express herself easily.

It’s important for me to show her that these skills are the greatest drivers of creating a happy and meaningful life.

It’s all what I didn’t learn until later in my adulthood when I started my own journey of growth and consciously creating the life I want to live.

I am also (almost painfully) aware my daughter will have her own life lessons she needs to learn and I cannot protect her or smooth the way for her completely, no matter how much I may want to.

But I can do my share and consciously change the conditioning that is not serving her or me.

As I have chosen to do this work, I get to learn and release these patterns in everyday life.

My first Mother’s Day was quite an emotional one.

There were expanded feelings of happiness and joy when I got to spend the day with my little family, who pampered me so sweetly.  

There were also sudden feelings of self-doubt and anxiety, that I had not been able to recognize before. 

Instead of ignoring these intense feelings, I stopped to bring awareness to them and to find out what kind of stories lie behind these feelings.

I worried whether I can ever be a good enough mama to her as I feel flawed, vulnerable, and imperfect. 

These uncomfortable feelings revealed a huge insight for me:

I realized that if I don’t let my daughter see me as I am — and able to receive her love fully — I would be abandoning her emotionally and rejecting her love.

Then I as a parent would repeat exactly what I was unconsciously taught in my childhood: love needs to be earned and if I just give, give, give and be a perfect, good girl, then I’d be lovable.

It was a huge breakthrough for me to finally find the root cause for the fear of abandonment and the lack of sense of belonging. Both these have caused me all kinds of struggle, disease, relationship issues and fears. 

It took a while for me to understand how I had not been able to, and how difficult it was for me to fully receive love.

After realizing all this and changing my limiting beliefs, stories and patterns — and the energies related to them — I soon felt lighter and confidently rooted within my own being.

Now when I bond with my little girl I feel at ease. Looking at her loving eyes doesn’t make me hesitate any more. I started feeling deeper connection not only with her but with my husband, my parents and family - and especially with myself.

Self-acceptance and the ability to receive love are the foundations of deep and intimate relationships with ourselves and others.

By being our authentic selves and showing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, our kids, and we as adults can learn to accept ourselves and understand we are good enough and lovable as we are. It’s never too late to start making these changes. 

When we choose to take responsibility and do the inner work it shifts our energy, helps to heal relationships and allows us to become free to do and be our authentic selves.

And that’s powerful and something many people are craving for, because when these old stories and conditioning are changed, you can change your habits; get healthy; release physical conditioning, limiting fears and blockages that prevent you from creating a happy, fulfilling life that looks and feels like you.

When we face any kind of difficulties with others one of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves is:

How am I creating this? 

I know it's not easy to take responsibility when it feels like everyone else is creating the issues or like life is resisting your aims. It takes some courage to ask this question of yourself and be willing to recognize and face the truth behind it.

But if you dare to take the path to growth and listen carefully, you will get insightful answers and your own wisdom and guidance will help move you forward. 

Changing ourselves is the only way to affect and change others. I’ve seen this happening in my own life and my clients' lives over and over again. 

Your happiness and wellbeing depends on you. You are not your limited by how or where you grew up or what others do.

Your life is your creation and in the same way you have created it so far, you can make changes and redesign it consciously. You only need to make the choice and get started.

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you like this blog, head HERE to order my newsletter it was originally shared with my readers. When you subscribe you will get free resources, inspiration, guidance and much more.

RELATED BLOG: Are you repeating your parent's mistakes or your old family patterns?

Are you waiting for the right time and things be perfect?

Hello!

It’s been a while since I sat down to write to you. Having baby Stella at the end of December started a completely new phase of life, and a life-long duty, called motherhood. I have loved being with the little one and having a family has changed my life in so many good ways.

Baby is now on her long afternoon nap and the house is quite a mess. My mind reminded me there are tons of “better” things to do than sit down to write to you, which I have tried to finish I don’t know how many times.

Before her birth I planned to take a few months off from working with clients and enjoy this precious time and possibility to be with her, while writing and taking care of the other side of my business aside. I have this urge to create and contribute and I’m used to work a lot -- it’s simply part of my nature and I love what I do.

It’s been a challenge to combine these two desires.

The last months have been transformational: basically all areas of life have demanded adjustments and inner work, while going through a massive personal upgrade and identity change that motherhood often puts us through.

I’m lucky I had a chance to stay at home and take time to be with the baby, heal after the birth and take my time to adjust for the first couple of months. (It should be a birthright for the new moms and their babies.)

After things got a little steadier and I had more time, it started weighing on me why I didn’t take time for myself and do what’s important to me.

I had crafted a solid, easygoing plan on how to get started again. Baby is sleeping on schedule, so I pretty much know when and how much time I have. My husband is happy to be with the baby after work and on the weekends.

I ran out of excuses, so I stopped to see what was going on.

• I was comparing myself to others… when I looked at other people with newborn children in social media I thought what’s wrong with me. They seemed to have everything in order and were living a picture-perfect life, there were no signs of greasy hair or old yoga pants.  

• Continuous distractions got me off track... When I got back to it this highly critical inner voice said what I’d created is not good enough, so I started writing something else and then ended up not finishing anything.

• I waited for a better time... when this chaos and overwhelm would pass; baby getting through growth spurts; learning to eat from the bottle; when I have a babysitter and so forth…  

I didn’t give myself permission to start until everything would be perfect.

I have a lot to share about this so called “mom guilt” that hit me, the need to be perfect, irreplaceable, micromanage and do something all the time, mainly to show myself that I'm a good enough mother, and not abandoning my child if I take some time for myself.

I realized there will always be something going on and life with kids is overwhelming and chaotic, but also fun and happy.

So I decided…

… to stop letting these learned ideals, patterns and my inner stories control me.

… to stop cleaning the house out of the “mom habit” when the baby sleeps.

… 15 minutes is a long time and I work when I can. When I can’t, I relax.

… it’s finally time to let go of perfectionism. I simply don’t have time for it anymore.

I gave myself a permission to do things I want to do and adjust it all to this new life.

If we are not trying and doing what calls us, we never know what’s possible.

If we let fear-based stories lead life or if we constantly compare ourselves to others it certainly destroys creativity and courage and we never dare to put ourselves out there.

It doesn’t matter at what stage of life you are or what you want to do. May it related to your career, relationships, your personal goals or big dreams. You got to start from somewhere.

Are you waiting until things are perfect? To get started, ask yourself:

• What are your excuses or stories that you tell yourself?

• Are you sure they are true?

• If you took action now, how would it make you feel?

To make this blog happen I sought advice from my blog on how to boost productivity by using this brilliant method that helps you remove distractions and resistance, and get things done fast when time is limited. Read it here

Let me know in the comments below if this resonates.

Love, Jenni

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My early childhood experiences blocked me from making money and allowing success

I was not different from other little girls when I was dreaming about being a ballet dancer at the age of five.

I’ve always been an aesthete, picky about the colors and clothes I put on, and I love flowing movement combined with everything beautiful.   

Last Spring I was in Nice, France for a long-awaited girls' weekend with my sister. On Sunday morning I went for a run on the beach promenade and on my way there I saw a gorgeous ballet tutu in a window.

I stopped to admire it and an old memory just popped up from nowhere.

I was born in a tiny village in the East of Finland and there were no proper ballet schools around.

I was living the dream when I heard a ballet teacher was on tour and would come to our suburb to teach a ballet course, and when my parents agreed, after a lot of convincing and stubborn begging, that I could go and they even bought me a simple white ballet tutu. I wore it at home all the time!  

I got to go to a couple of classes. Then the teacher disappeared.

Everyone was worried about her.

When the truth came out - she had left and stolen the money everyone had paid - it was a huge shock to our community and my family. There was a lot of hatred towards her.

I was devastated. I couldn’t believe how someone so nice, who was teaching and representing something so beautiful, could do that.

My father had to go to court to be a witness.

I remember I was afraid that they would take him too! I didn’t understand the whole thing and no one was even trying to explain it to me. My parents didn’t understand how much it was affecting me.

It was my first huge disappointment and my first experience of betrayal and crime.

She smashed my dream and the whole experience left deep wounds in me. I never got to go to the ballet classes, however I never say never but believe it’s never too late to learn new if we are willing.   

While this happened many decades ago, when I started working with it I found that these profound self-limiting beliefs were still someways affecting me.

When I got into it and did the work, I recognized the beliefs that were limiting me in many areas of life:

• It’s not safe for me to trust people: anyone can take away my success and dreams.

• I always need to be alert and in control to avoid disappointments and hurt.

• Money is evil and causes a lot of trouble for everyone.

All this had caused procrastination, which made me struggle with unworthiness, pushing myself forward and then pulling myself back before achieving my goals successfully.  

I couldn’t believe I still had these stories in me!

I had hidden this painful memory deep down until it suddenly triggered and only then could I start releasing these beliefs that sabotaged my happiness and success.

It all shifted quickly when I realized the connection, what caused it, and how it made me think and act.

Old hurts and beliefs are not necessarily affecting you in similar situations to the way you experienced them.

Usually, the blocks trigger different kinds of situations, which are bringing up the same emotion.

These early memories and experiences keep us from getting and doing what we want, limiting our ability to naturally expand and take our life to the next level; start new things; change our habits and patterns; receive love, success, and abundance.

Therefore, releasing the emotional attachment of the old painful experiences is the key to changing our patterns and habits, setting ourselves free to create a life, relationships and career that we want.

There is always an explanation for it, we are not powerless against our self-beliefs or victims of our past: when you change your mind you can change your thoughts and habits.

With love,

Jenni

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related article

How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations READ HERE

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How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations

Talk yourself into success and start consciously creating your life

We have all heard of affirmations: positive statements you repeat to yourself over and over. Their aim is to override old subconscious programming and change negative thought patterns and beliefs; in doing this, you set yourself free to do and achieve what you want, be it improving your health, career, relationships, finances or preparing yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work.

This is due to lack of specificity and knowledge of how to create affirmations that work personally for them in their specific situations.

Why affirmations may not work:

• You don’t fully believe in your goal or what you are saying to yourself.

• You’re using negative or future-oriented language in your affirmations, which is confusing to the mind which only operates in the present.  

• You are not aware of or paying attention to your mind’s objections.

• There is a subconscious block that is powerfully resisting the changes you desire.

• You don’t take the action that is needed to move forward.

To make affirmations work successfully, you need to first discover what thought patterns and objections you have. Thought patterns are based on past negative experiences that you hold in your mind. These are stored in your subconscious, which always affects your behavior, thoughts, feelings, and actions in different situations.

If you struggle in some area of life and feel that you can’t do what you want to do, then there are some learned limiting beliefs and subconscious blocks that keep you stuck in your situation. Luckily, we can release these self-limiting beliefs and blocks, and creating personal affirmations is one of the ways you can.

A Simple Exercise to Create Your Affirmations

Here's one simple exercise you can do to help reveal your limiting beliefs and create affirmations that work for you:

• Write your desire or goal down: what is it that you want to achieve?

• Get quiet and turn inward to listen.

• Ask yourself: why is it not possible?

• Write out all the objections your mind comes up with.

• Keep going until there aren't any objections coming up.

• When you have emptied your mind of objections, go through the statements and shift the sentences to positive.

• Use clear, authoritative, positive commands in the present tense: I feel, I can, I have, I am…

For example, say you want to elevate your career to the next level and find your dream job, but struggle with the habit of procrastination. You have all kinds of excuses as to why you don’t do the things you need to do (e.g., update your resume, make connections, etc.). For some reason, you keep yourself from following through with your plans.

To quit the habit of procrastination to find your dream job, you want to discover the self-limiting beliefs and emotional reasons behind the procrastination, and writing down the objections will show you these. You may think for instance, “What I want does not exist,” “It’s too risky to change jobs now,” “I’m not educated enough,” etc. All these self-limiting beliefs are raising inner fears: fear of the unknown, fear of success, or fear of failure.

When the subconscious objections come to the surface, you will often realize they are not true, and that already helps to release them. To empower your mind and believe new thoughts, create positive statements, such as: “I’m open for new possibilities,’” “It’s my time now,” “I have everything I need for my dream job.”     

Used consistently, affirmations will help you reprogram your mind and change your habits, which will change your reality.

How to use your affirmations:

• Repeat the affirmations consistently and daily, and write them down. It takes about 21 days to change any habit.

• Use your imagination to visualize and meditate on what you’re affirming — feel like you would if you already had what you’re affirming.

• Keep your affirmations where you can see them every day (phone, journal, Post-Its) so your mind has a better chance of accepting your new truth.

• Motivate and encourage yourself by remembering your desire and its purpose, the reason behind the reason—why it’s so important for you!

Affirmations are an incredibly powerful way to increase self-belief, courage and help you expand your life. Knowing what you want is the first step to having it—and simply convincing your mind that you can have it will help you change your habits and make it your reality.

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With love and gratitude,
Jenni