The whole idea was so outrageous that it was amusing me. I couldn’t even imagine how I could make it happen without miracles. I just thought, "Aha, how interesting." Then I added playfully, "Well, if it is meant to be, show me the way. I promise to follow, I have made my commitments to make this world happier place."
About three years ago I got an idea of the story I would need to write and publish some day. It was not a blog but a full book. The story should be written in English and first published in USA. It was quite challenging idea for a Finnish girl who had only published couple of blogs in Finnish. It was pretty wild idea for a girl who had just started to create her own journey and had consciously stopped adrift in her life. I knew I was not ready for it yet, so I left it to brew and forgot the whole thing.
During that time life had basically forced me to start doing the changes I had secretly dreamt about for years and stubbornly resisted. I didn’t have detailed plan of what exactly I was desiring to achieve but I trusted I would find it along the way. And no, it was not as easy as it sounds: I was about to change my whole life, give up of the external identity I had created along the years and dig out the authentic me and be happier than ever. It was not going to be a one month project.
My aim is still not to encourage people to leave their day job right away and jump to the freezing financial uncertainty, like I ended up doing without a security net or sponsors. No, we all don’t want to or need to do the same things. But I have to say finances will be found when they are needed when you're willing to do the things you have a calling for. Do the easiest and smallest changes – take a course and test drive the ideas. See how it feels and be willing to be open and curious. One step at a time.
So me, the busy business girl who I had become, started to blog about my journey after I took the first step towards what was truly calling me, and signed up for a yoga teacher training in Nicaragua. All that encouraging support from the family and friends "you have to do what makes you happy" and how everything was organized so smoothly gave me confidence I could lead my life to right direction and my other foot was already out from the office door. I kept affirming: take one step at a time and the next steps will be exposed to you.
When you're driving, you can't you really see what is behind the curve, but you know the road is continuing and it will take you to your destination, so you keep driving.
I wanted to share my journey on the blog and encourage the other people to see it would be possible to do the wanted changes in their life and create the life they truly want live — there were so many overachievers like me struggling with their stressful, unbalanced and unsatisfied lives. I didn’t really want to expose my personal life but the pressure, the beep and the calling was strongly demanding me to write. It is the roar of creativity.
So I wrote almost ten blogs in two weeks time before I left to my training. After I published my first blog and shared it on my Facebook I ran out from the house. I was shaking when I sneaked back to see what people would say and afraid they would they persecute me and think that I’ve gone crazy. But they didn’t. Or none said it out loud to me. One step at a time my confidence as a writer grew.
But the big story, the idea of that book, took a big step ahead sooner than I thought. After two years when I started writing and creating my own path, I wrote the first draft of that book in Bali in Mastin Kipp’s Writers Mastermind retreat and amazing coaches and fellow writers. I had followed his inspirational work for some time and learnt a lot through him. When I saw his post about the retreat I just instinctually knew I had to get there, no matter what. Again in the miraculous ways and again I managed to get everything organized. But not without facing any challenges or fears along the year I waited for that trip.
Remember and feel the original intuition, it will take you somewhere great. I had to step back to that intuitive feeling many times during the year when the suspicious ego wanted to play small and take the control. I have to say, money is not an issue when you are willing to follow your calling. So again I had got everything organized and I traveled to Bali for a month. I had amazing time finalizing my transformation, which was one of the reasons I did the trip. And basically wrote my life to a better one and got the first version of my story done. It is still a work in progress.
Release everything you need to release. Receive everything you need to receive. Be patient.
Last weekend I participated on the Hay House Writer’s workshop in New York and I found my original spark of creativity and to work with my projects. I met amazing people, I need my kind of people and supporting peer group - writing and being self-employed can get lonely.
I noticed how I had become overwhelmed by all the work I really want to do and create. I had almost lost the motivation as I tried to do and rush too many things at the same time without proper planning, routines and consistency and my goals felt like unreachable chaos — I was pushing on a string. I heard myself priesting to my coaching clients about the patience and how things will happen on time. I stopped to listen my own words and took the advice too.
I'm still looking for my niche. I'm close but finding it requires releasing of some old habits and beliefs, which then creates space for the new. It needs work, eagerness and courage to test some of the new ideas. Without a doubt there will be many lessons to learn and challenges to tackle that will lift me on the next level.
I have told to quite for a few people about my dream that Hay House would publish my story. Last weekend I realized I don’t need to worry about the publishing now. I will get my stories out in a way or another. Then when the time is right. There are possibilities, multiple options to publish in this digital world. I understood all I want is to do the work and concentrate to put my message on the paper - then I’ll see where it leads. Lightly, one step at a time.
With love, Jenni
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