How to energize yourelf when you feel drained

My 2-year old daughter had been waking multiple times per night for the last few nights. Actually even longer.

I’ve been okay with that; up during the nights and feeling energized during the days, until suddenly I was at my breaking point.

The lack of sleep starts eating us slowly and surely.

Already on Sunday, I needed to stay at home to take a nap when everyone else went to the beach. 

Yes, that was a severe FOMO moment, I hate anything or anyone over-controlling me, like even lack of sleep, and I felt sorry for myself that I couldn’t join my daughter and husband, as I really wanted to go. 

But… I needed to prioritize my well-being to get through the day.

It reminded me about my burnout and related insomnia from 12 years ago. My body still remembers well how awful that felt, and as I have said there’s no way I’m letting anything like that happen again. 

That’s why I love endlessly priest about healthy habits, how to maintain your energy, wellbeing from the inside out because all that is the source of everything and help others heal the roots for their issues, like I have done. 

It took a long time until I found the ways (worthiness) to make things easier for myself and find the shortcuts. 

Finding microwave potatoes from Spain is one of these shortcuts and helps to get dinner ready SO much faster (and they are better than the big muddy ones, tasting like new potatoes :)) I’m so proud of myself I’ve been able to let go of perfectionism in these little but remarkable ways! Allowing myself to make things as easy as I can is my mantra nowadays- with business and pleasure.  

So back to it… on Monday morning I woke up dead tired again. 

Lack of sleep makes anyone feel low, lacking energy, clarity, and creativity, and joy. 

The foggy brain, unclear thoughts, issues with the memory, never-ending sentences… yes, the tired brain disconnects us from our essence and brilliance. From the body and it’s hard to be present and our best selves when we are in survival mode. It’s easy to neglect healthy habits when you are just so tired and rather complain than do anything for it.  

Before I had a child I had no idea what kind of miracles working mothers were capable of. Now I know. 

You do amazing things! You should be so much prouder of yourself! You are creative, passionate, your mindset is better than many high-achievers, you get through anything!

After years of working with people and myself, I also know we CAN help ourselves feel energized and good even if it’s not possible for you to nap, sleep (or fall asleep) during the day because you work, and you have your passions.

When you feel good, good things can come, you get the results. Putting in the effort from the place of negative energy is a waste of time.

I also know many exhausted high-achieving women and mothers who tend to put in more effort, do one more thing, juggle even more balls in the air and escape their feelings, facing the reality and allowing themselves to get the rest of their need because they feel they will miss something out. But also because deep down they don’t feel enough and worthy to do that- they give a lot but don’t really know how to receive the same.

I was so tired on Monday morning I didn’t remember later in the day if I had even showered (I did).

What I did help me to start my day again so I forgot the morning totally, which was the turning point for me and I got myself energized for the work and the calls with my clients in the afternoon. I don’t like to cancel but as a coach, I need to show up as my best self. 

Before we can show up for anyone else, even for our kids, we have to show up for ourselves, and that’s the key here.  

Tips on how to raise your energy after a sleepless night or when you are feeling drained and you have to work and take care of your responsibilities:

1. If you wake up dead tired, don’t fuel yourself up with coffee but sleep more if you can. Just go back to bed and rest. 

2. Feel your feelings, lie in bed, and breathe to release all tension and negativity out. 

3. Journal about everything that’s going on. It’s okay to vent and struggle. Let it out.

4. Give yourself permission to have an off day. 

5. Focus on easy, simple tasks that don't require a lot from you.  

6. Minimize all events that are not obligatory on that day including work & personal life.

7. Say no to everything you can. 

8. Don’t make any big decisions. 

9. Ask for help, from your partner, a friend. Say that you are struggling. 

10. Order in, make a really simple dinner, or ask someone else to cook.

11. Think about the issues that cause the problem and ideas on how to fix the situation. Do you need to find information on something? Can you get help with that? Is there a boundary that you need to set for yourself or others? Change a habit if it’s somehow you who keeps you up? 

12. Go to bed early. Check your sleep habits, no screens, no substances, set those rules for yourself.

For those who are saying they don’t have time for this, you can make the time. Sit in the car for while by doing nothing, connect within, with your heart and your body. Being present, closing your eyes, and resting even you are not sleeping is helpful. You can scribble things down to any piece of paper.

If exhaustion or lack of sleep is starting to affect your performance and how you feel constantly, get help and figure out where is that coming from and change that.

When you have been operating on the high-striving mode it takes a while for your system to calm down. Repeat these little practices often, daily. Prioritize you and you will be rewarded, with results, happiness- wellbeing. You matter and your health matters.

What are the old ways that don't work for you anymore? What ways work for you?

Would love to hear from you!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. The doors to the Energetic Business Breakthrough are closing on May 7th! If you feel stuck with your business, habits, or career and have challenges in receiving your highest good, your goals and desires Sign up here

P.S.S. If you struggle with insomnia or stress, finding time, energy- balancing the work and life and it’s hard for making things work for you, I can help. You can get started by applying to book a complimentary Clarity call with me.

RELATED POST: 10 TIPS FOR BETTER SLEEP

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash

Daily self-care and meditation practice for moms and busy bees

HOW TO ADD MEDITATION AND SELF-CARE PRACTICE IN YOUR ALREADY FULL DAILY SCHEDULE

Traditionally we have thought self-care, and meditation in certain ways: being present in the candlelight in the total silence, rose petal baths, water streams, calm music playing on the background, clean crispy white ropes… what a bliss.

While it can be like that it’s not the reality we busy women are living day to day!

Especially when there are businesses to run, high-demanding jobs and small children to take care of- the self-care practice, which is crucial for the wellbeing and emotional balance, has to be looked at in different ways.

The more we help and support ourselves FEEL GOOD in the moments, balance our mental and emotional residues with these little tools and breathing exercises I’m sharing below, you will FEEL BETTER and CLEARER throughout the day.

Then you don't need to wait for that perfect moment in the evening or early morning when you may feel completely drained and only want to rest or numb yourself, which is also very common and only adds up more guilt.

It’s not easy to make any extra time for ourselves when it’s already so freaking busy, I get that!

Especially right now when the schools and daycare are still closed in many countries, or it's not possible or safe to go out all the time.

I know it myself and I have to learn to prioritize brutally and put in the effort consciously and daily to make it happen.

When I became a mother I really had to force myself to start doing my daily meditation and self-care practices again after a couple of months. Just because I soon noticed how unwell, disconnected and anxious I felt, like I lacked ALL control of my life, including sleep.

As the old ways didn't work anymore and I didn't have the possibility to sit in meditation, doing yoga or journaling sometimes for hours per day as I did before, I had to create new ways and methods to squeeze in the practices that mean LIFE to me and are the way how I feel connected and completely myself.

BUT… before I was able to bring these crucial habits back in my life and stop resisting my own wellbeing as hard as I did, I needed the right kind of motivation to make the changes. For me it was my wellbeing and the growing anxiety that almost got out of control. I never knew I was an anxious person before I became a mother and then after I started working with it, I realized I had been an anxious person for a very long time.

This is what often happens when we work with the subconscious beliefs and root causes - we start seeing these patterns repeating themselves everywhere in life. Which is only a good thing, because that then allows to change the behavior.

With many of my women and mom clients, I see that the real reason why they get lost in the busyness and emotional cycles, self-sabotaging habits is that somehow they don’t believe they deserve to take the time for themselves and their self-care. Everyone and everything else goes before their wellbeing and that’s subconsciously most often stemming from lack of self-worth and not feeling good enough.

We can always make time for things that are important for us!

I started going out in the mornings, to meditate, walk and take a breather. Sometimes I’m taking deep breaths, stretching or doing some yoga or scribbling intentions down or do short emotional cleansing with journaling when my daughter is playing around or is sometimes on top of me.

I see my little one is quite a good little yogini already now, she loves copying me and moving her body, pretending taking deep breaths, which is funny and a good thing.

Even those 5-30 minutes are not always perfect stillness but they are still very, very helpful! We can do so much during the days in the middle of the chaos to help ourselves connect and release tensions. That is the practice.

So here a my tips for daily self-care that are not just for the crisis now but also for the daily life:

• Meditation can really be just trying to quiet down and get focused on something mindfully breathing and being present. That little thing is part of your overall wellbeing and happiness.

• Be focused when you’re doing things at home. Notice how well you care about the healthy food you cook for yourself and your family.

• Or when you’re taking time to clean the kitchen, or the house, think about it cleaning not just the physical space but the energies in that space as well. Take this as a practice and your “own” time. (if that’s your only time for yourself it’s good to talk with your partner and organize time for you!)

• When you take a shower, take time to do a shower meditation - love your body and how well it supports you and your health. Visualize the water cleansing your physical body but your mental, emotional, energetic, and spiritual ones too.

• Playing with the kids can be a meditation in some regards. It is recharging and energizing when you forget everything else at that moment and take the time to really focus in on our time with them - it's not only for them but for ourselves too and creates a wonderful deep connection with them.

• When you run your errands, focus on embracing health, money that you have for the payments, focusing on positive thoughts.

• Breathe and visualize yourself being covered by the energy that is protecting and keeping you safe, calm and connected. Your breath is your life force and it’s always with you!

• When you drive with your car or use public transportation, use this time to focus on embracing good things in your life and focus on appreciation and gratitude, especially in the areas you want to expand.

• Before you go to sleep clear the negative energies by journaling about your emotions, talk about them and let go of all anger, frustration and anything on those pages that love to listen to you. Then, think about good things, your dreams, your desires - thinking good empowering thoughts before sleep helps to activate your subconscious to attract it and sleep well.

• Pay attention to your surroundings, nature, when you walk outside or watch out of the window.

• Pay attention to people in your life and what they do, how they are trying to do their best. Give yourself the same praise everyday.

• At the end of the day or during the day make a list in your mind of all things you got done, how well you take care of your tasks, work, others and embrace all that effort and energy that you put in.

• Remind yourself of all that you give and receive it back by praising yourself.

• Allow yourself to enjoy the moments - there are lots of them when you start consciously paying attention to it.

This is a big list helping you to make mind shifts and do almost all of it “on the go”. You can build your kind of self-care practice be part of your days and that’s a practice - without the need to reserve hours or special time for doing it all.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Love Jenni x

We are almost on the other side of this

How are you going to start your new normal?

There's been a lot of change, these past few weeks for us.

They have loosened the restrictions in Spain and first we finally, after two months of full lockdown (no going outside except to grocery stores or for necessities!) we got to go out with the kids for a short time in the day. Stella was quite okay, a little hesitant at first but I heard that some older children didn’t want to go out at all anymore. 

Then we got to go out to exercise and now we can meet 10 people at the time (for 1 hour) and some restaurants are open. We got our babysitter back for some a couple of days per week.

Social connections felt weird at first, like practicing again how to be with others physically after all those video calls...  The inside had become our new safety zone. 

Now we are slowly getting back to some sort of normal life but it takes a while, and there are still restrictions. 
There’s a lot to process.

It’s clear we are not going back to the same old, we have changed and the world has changed that’s for sure. 

I know I have changed.

The last few months were more challenging than I thought while going through it. Now I see how we all have been in that weird survival mode, almost fighting for our life and existence.

Now that it has become easier, I have found myself quite tired.

While my daily life didn’t change that much due to lockdown as I work from home and am used to wearing different hats throughout the day; be a mother, business owner, coach, and therapist, and a personal chef and a wife, while taking care of my own wellbeing as well as I could - it’s been A FULL CHAOTIC LIFE. 

I put a lot of efforts for staying emotionally and mentally balanced, using all the tools I have, sometimes multiple times per day, doing short self-care practices, journaling and exercise.

How we got through the 2 months complete lockdown

It was simply about making clear household rules with my husband. Deciding who takes care of the baby, worktimes, a meal plan, shared calendar, and making sure everyone stays sane.

We got to practice this tight togetherness a little bit already before the chaos started as my husband left his day job and we moved to Mallorca in February, so we were somehow settled already, only the place we lived was new.

During the lockdown it sometimes felt like I was living in another planet and there were just the three of us.  

Our temporary 2 bedroom apartment that we had rent for 6 months didn’t allow huge escapes, other than outdoor terraces. It was the agreed daily conversations that were and are still life saviors for us, keeping the connection and mutual understanding alive.

No matter what we have experienced in the last couple of months, it’s clear that we have loved it here. The island is gorgeous, lifestyle suits us and we are now looking for a new home for us to settle in. 

Personally for me when the lockdown started, it started a dive deep into new depths and go through a personal transformation, working through the old habits, and patterns that we suddenly so clear.

Most of it was related to work, the way of working, but affected in all other areas of life - a new level of self-worth and clarity emerged as I peeled the onion again. 

Inner work is not always easy but as I clearly saw it was offering me a needed change I went on. As I worked through it the clarity I got struck a huge amount of creativity in me and I birthed the free course for quarantine, and Thrive through The Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you. I have written and studied a lot. Somehow I made time for it; when there’s the motivation the time and resources always show up.

I’m obsessed about my work but also working with myself, I just love love love to learn new, change and then being able to expand the next level.

During this transformation I have allowed myself to start to lean even deeper into my intuition and visions even more and use it more for making decisions. It’s the only truth we can trust in the time of uncertainty and worries this crisis has raised in us. The unknown future has always been there but now when the secure foundation was shaken in so many ways it, the future can feel like a scary black hole.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING - OUTSIDE OF WORK AND CHAOS? 

If you have been getting new insights and know that old ways won’t work anymore, I invite you in to check out the Thrive through the Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you,  that I designed for this time of transition to new normal, so if you feel called and know it’s time to start creating new, this course will give you the strength, resilience, and confidence you need for it.

The course won’t be happening in this format anymore and now you get an incredible amount of value with my coaching and healing included so join us now…  

Warmly,

Jenni
 

Feel like you need to fight, take a flight or freeze?

Working from home, taking care of the kids, household, home-schooling and being forced to stay inside with your loved ones who are trying to do the same IS chaotic and overwhelming.

Finding time for yourself, your work, self-care and handling all your responsibilities can be extremely difficult now. Even if you don't have kids.

Worries, fears and anxieties can take over. You might feel so drained and unmotivated.

You might feel that you need to fight or take a flight. Or freeze. 

It's okay to have all those feelings and feel exhausted.

We've been locked down for almost 4 full weeks now in Spain, so I can relate.

The first thing to do to change these feelings is:

Give yourself permission to feel those feelings and then, forgive yourself for having them. Accept where you are, right now. 

Also please, please, know that you are doing a lot (more than you know) and going through a lot.

I know work can be as demanding as it was before. If you have a family it can be that your bosses are not understanding your situation at home with the kids and that it's impossible to respond to those demands like before. 

I know how it works, I had over 13 years in the corporate world.

It could be that your business is under thread and you simply can't work right now.

I get that too! As an entrepreneur, I needed to sit down to create new offerings, strategy, and plans. After I dug myself out of the darkness I momentarily dropped, I created new ideas that I'm working on now and… they are actually super fun and I have no reason to avoid doing them anymore (you will see this in social media and my emails)!

I realized I thrive in challenging situations.

I've gone through so many drastic shift storms, so I know deep down in my gut that the obstacles are the way (you maybe want to check out the book by Ryan Holiday, it's quite fantastic) — I will always get up and get back on track, even when being a bit wounded. 

Like you too! You have gone through so many obstacles in your life that now it's time to remind yourself of the hardest ones!    

But it also means that I also need to calm, change my thoughts and re-connect with myself with breathing consciously multiple times a day by using the Clarity tools and habits to relieve the overwhelm daily! 

I am empowering myself to trust I will make my visions true while I have to prioritize how to use the very limited time I have for working, and self-care as I'm balancing all this with my husband, cooking, and child care. 

Instead of letting your inner stories overwhelm you and believe everything is falling apart, you can take responsibility for how you feel, what's happening around you and help yourself feel energized. 

Now it's not time to push yourself to do more but stop to see where you are and focus on self-care. 

That will make a HUGE difference in how you feel right now and release the anxiety, worries and overwhelm.  

Like my mentor Marisa Peer says:

You are in control and you can control your thoughts that are creating your feelings. 

That doesn’t mean to stop doing things but focusing on your needs; self-care, healthy, productive habits and using the tools that are helping you to create a structure for your days. So that you get things done more efficiently is helpful right now.

Looking into how you do things and helping yourself feel better, will give you more time and energy. 

To help you in this situation I have put together a list below of the resources to relieve the unwanted feelings and help you feel, calm and focused in this crisis - while trusting in your own abilities to get through this with high confidence.

Little action makes a huge difference and releases the negative energy from the body.  

Anytime when you hopeless, please remind yourself that this will pass!

We can get through almost anything just knowing that it doesn't last forever.

Get the free mini-course self-empowering tools and methods that will not only help you navigate through this feeling calm, focused and connected but create structure, healthy habits, self-care routines that you will benefit from forever!

Much love and courage,

Jenni