How to keep the inspiration up after the holidays

I came back home after my 4 week break in Finland feeling excited, grounded and bursting with creativity and ready to follow through my new ideas.

During my break I had some huge insights into what didn’t feel good for me anymore with work, and especially with my way of working, my habits and behaviors.

3 days later I felt like I'm losing the connecting with all and go back to the same...

Because of the covid, we had not been traveling at all in 18 months.

That also meant we hadn’t met family in person in almost 2 years.

I can’t remember the last time when I had been that still for such a long time.

No wonder I had felt a bit trapped without noticing how much I was lacking social, in person connections and spending time with friends and people I know well.

Being there, connecting with my roots after such a long time was an insightful time, offering me a lot of opportunities to become aware of some of the old patterns that needed healing.

It was like my inner blinders were lifted as I became aware of some things through spending time with the family but also some of the cultural and generational patterns.

Healing or things hitting the fan is not always fun or a pleasant blissful experience like we would love them to be.

But... We can see that in a different light.

When we are ready to stop repeating the same or feel triggered by other people who are just showing us the parts of us that need attention, inner work and acceptance and healing, we can then shift the challenges to empowerment, opportunities for growth and to our own benefit.

Last year in 2020 I almost lost my business but also found out that I’m codependent people-pleaser.

The pandemia triggered a childhood trauma and motherhood had earlier triggered a mother wound, which I just hadn’t realized until I was ready to see it.

Those two big and quite painful experiences started a transformation and a deeper healing journey.

It all led me forward helping me to see my purpose, passions and missions in a new way.

New professional skills, awareness and knowledge emerged through this empowering process.

The covid, on and off restrictions, the daily routines with a toddler, and busyness had kept me stuck at my home office too much.

I didn’t see things clearly anymore and kept repeating some things that didn’t work and focused on things that made me feel drained rather than excited and energized.

I had tried doing too much and was scared to let go of the things that didn’t work

So I when I came back I was motivated to change and keep the energy high at all times while feeling grounded.

To avoid going back to the old same and ruin all the gained inspiration at my break, I wrote down a list of ideas how to change, and a whole new business approach that literally came to me in my dream.

Then I set the personal and professional boundaries that are not available and acceptable for me anymore.

Based on this I made a plan and communicated it with others.

This offers accountability but also helps to embody our personal power.

It’s common to feel super inspired on a vacation, then come back home and go back to the same familiarity if the patterns and habits are not broken through consciously and healed on an unconscious level too.

Have you witnessed this cycle too?

Lacking clear next steps and boundaries is one of the reasons why people haven’t been able to change, express themselves and follow through their passions, creativity and needs.

They often feel like others and their needs are always going first or the world is controlling them externally, and like their priorities or efforts won’t matter.

This can be changed and first thing to start with is getting clear on what is not acceptable for you anymore, work with your relationship with yourself at first and setting clear personal, energetical and professional boundaries.

Much love and gratitude, Jenni

P.S. Here’s 3 ways to work with me

1. I work with codependent people-pleasers, hustlers and conscious entrepreneurs who are ready to fulfill their purpose, mission and make more income and impact in a calm, focused way. I have 2 spots open now for a 6 week Stuck to Success 1:1 program. Book a clarity call here

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Seeking to be understood: how to deal with emotional triggers

No matter how hard and more we try to explain ourselves or hope that they would understand us... it drives us crazy.

We want them to understand and wish they would appreciate us and value our efforts. 

Why do we get so triggered when someone is not understanding us?

"Being misunderstood brings up so many emotions because for the ego it’s rejection—It’s the original emotional abandonment most of us have experienced as children, who are desperately wanting to be seen, heard, + validated." - the Holistic Psychologist

Her recent post said this particular trauma cycle caused her anger and resentment. She wanted to hide and didn't feel safe in certain situations when she was putting her work out there.

I can relate to that 100%. When I saw her post, there was a huge light bulb hovering above my head as it showed me something so important of my childhood trauma I hadn’t realized. I was able to connect some of the important dots I had missed. 

Why we can't get over the common and understandable misunderstandings and just stay true to our own truth, stand in our power neutrally, with high self-appreciation and acceptance… is coming from childhood patterns and trauma.

Despite the fact that we would like to think so, it's NOT caused by your partner. Blaming others is always the easiest route we would like to take.  

The others mirror our beliefs and patterns.

They are there to purposefully show you what you need to be responsible of so that you can overcome the pattern:

* is then giving us an OPPORTUNITY to heal and change the patterns we are most often sucked in by our parents or caretakers.

* When there's an old emotional wound constantly showing that someone is not understanding us, it makes us feel that they are rejecting us.

* This wound triggers the same emotions as the unhealed trauma, experience or event. 

When we are not conscious of what is causing the trigger, we can't then help but attack, turn against them, defend ourselves and often start the blame cycle.

The child we still have inside us has never been able to heal, get the nurturing, loving understanding and validation she has desperately craved.

The anger, rage, and hurt are getting out of hands when the grown-ups are trying to fulfill their inner child’s emotional needs in the intimate relationships. 

To protect, to keep you safe from experiencing the old pain. 

The same cycles repeat in the relationship until someone, and as there are two in the relationship, chooses a different way and breaks the pattern. To step away from the ego tantrums and start healing herself, or the relationship is ended.

There's so much we can do for ourselves and then for our relationships.

If there is love and we are willing to work through the obstacles any patterns can be changed.

What two people need in any healthy relationship is vulnerability, boundaries, but mainly the ability to listen and be heard is helping a lot and shifts the dynamics quickly.

We only wish we would be seen, heard, validated and accepted as we are.

Can you appreciate yourself, listen to yourself and express your needs? Do you believe you deserve to be heard and validated?

When you learn to soothe your emotions and fulfill your own needs, you keep your cup full. Then you can give and receive love and attention unconditionally.

Much love, Jenni

Thank you Unsplash / Elia Pelligrini for the image.

Feel like you need to fight, take a flight or freeze?

Working from home, taking care of the kids, household, home-schooling and being forced to stay inside with your loved ones who are trying to do the same IS chaotic and overwhelming.

Finding time for yourself, your work, self-care and handling all your responsibilities can be extremely difficult now. Even if you don't have kids.

Worries, fears and anxieties can take over. You might feel so drained and unmotivated.

You might feel that you need to fight or take a flight. Or freeze. 

It's okay to have all those feelings and feel exhausted.

We've been locked down for almost 4 full weeks now in Spain, so I can relate.

The first thing to do to change these feelings is:

Give yourself permission to feel those feelings and then, forgive yourself for having them. Accept where you are, right now. 

Also please, please, know that you are doing a lot (more than you know) and going through a lot.

I know work can be as demanding as it was before. If you have a family it can be that your bosses are not understanding your situation at home with the kids and that it's impossible to respond to those demands like before. 

I know how it works, I had over 13 years in the corporate world.

It could be that your business is under thread and you simply can't work right now.

I get that too! As an entrepreneur, I needed to sit down to create new offerings, strategy, and plans. After I dug myself out of the darkness I momentarily dropped, I created new ideas that I'm working on now and… they are actually super fun and I have no reason to avoid doing them anymore (you will see this in social media and my emails)!

I realized I thrive in challenging situations.

I've gone through so many drastic shift storms, so I know deep down in my gut that the obstacles are the way (you maybe want to check out the book by Ryan Holiday, it's quite fantastic) — I will always get up and get back on track, even when being a bit wounded. 

Like you too! You have gone through so many obstacles in your life that now it's time to remind yourself of the hardest ones!    

But it also means that I also need to calm, change my thoughts and re-connect with myself with breathing consciously multiple times a day by using the Clarity tools and habits to relieve the overwhelm daily! 

I am empowering myself to trust I will make my visions true while I have to prioritize how to use the very limited time I have for working, and self-care as I'm balancing all this with my husband, cooking, and child care. 

Instead of letting your inner stories overwhelm you and believe everything is falling apart, you can take responsibility for how you feel, what's happening around you and help yourself feel energized. 

Now it's not time to push yourself to do more but stop to see where you are and focus on self-care. 

That will make a HUGE difference in how you feel right now and release the anxiety, worries and overwhelm.  

Like my mentor Marisa Peer says:

You are in control and you can control your thoughts that are creating your feelings. 

That doesn’t mean to stop doing things but focusing on your needs; self-care, healthy, productive habits and using the tools that are helping you to create a structure for your days. So that you get things done more efficiently is helpful right now.

Looking into how you do things and helping yourself feel better, will give you more time and energy. 

To help you in this situation I have put together a list below of the resources to relieve the unwanted feelings and help you feel, calm and focused in this crisis - while trusting in your own abilities to get through this with high confidence.

Little action makes a huge difference and releases the negative energy from the body.  

Anytime when you hopeless, please remind yourself that this will pass!

We can get through almost anything just knowing that it doesn't last forever.

Get the free mini-course self-empowering tools and methods that will not only help you navigate through this feeling calm, focused and connected but create structure, healthy habits, self-care routines that you will benefit from forever!

Much love and courage,

Jenni