My 2-year old is now a strong yes-no person.
Yes, it's the stage often called "terrible twos”, which is most terrible for us adults who can't handle their quick, wild and so unexpected emotional shifts.
I know how overwhelming it is for the parents when a rational approach or explanation doesn't work.
Small children don't have logic. They only respond with their emotions, which are bigger than their bodies, and yet, they don't know why they feel that way.
This morning she put tried to put her new summer shoes on. I asked if she needed help.
She didn't.
She managed to get them somehow on but was not happy with the straps. Something didn't look or feel right to her (she is very much into details.)
She tried again but got even more frustrated as it didn't work the way she wanted. Then she outrageously asked for help.
I tried to help but she refused to receive it with the loud NO.
She cried and screamed out of frustration without able to decide what she really wanted.
Something clearly didn't feel right. Yet she didn’t know WHAT would feel right.
Sounds familiar?
All we knew is that she absolutely loved the shoes. She made her choices from two good options and picked her favorite ones in the blink of an eye.
This is how a 2-year old often feels. A bit like a teenager, remember?
Young children don't have any earlier life experiences, new things are coming up all the time and all they can do is to watch and learn, explore and try again.
They make all their decisions, conclusions, and create their world views based on their emotions and what they have learned so far. They already have a belief system- and they have already learned from early on how others respond to their wants and needs.
This is how our “conditioning” is being formed.
Which is either helping us to make clear and confident decisions for ourselves, delegate things for others, know that we are worthy and deserving to get our desires (or not), rant about things forever when we lack clarity and feel insecure, or feel so guilty after we have missed an opportunity or have made a mistake...
The adults are often extremely indecisive, struggling with exactly the same emotions than the kids....
Did you know confidence and decision-making is a SKILL you can develop?
How to make confident decisions that are right for you?
1. Trust your gut and original feeling.
-> Remind yourself of the first feeling and intuition that you first had.
2. Stop overthinking and analyzing.
-> When this happens, it's the resistant, rational mind that is taking over and trying to stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone.
3. Stop asking around what you should do. They don't really know, only you know.
-> If you ask from others, filter their personal beliefs, opinions, negative experiences out of it.
4. Make informed decisions.
->Gather information, ask questions and wait until you know, the feeling comes.
5. Ask yourself what are the consequences?
-> Ponder, if you will you be pleased with your decision 10 minutes, 10 months, or a few years later.
6. Don't try to force the answers or decisions. Go back to no. 1.
-> Forcing means your heart is not with the decision. If you are on deadline: set intention for the outcome and time when you need to know. Then take a break and don't think about it, but rather let it feel inside.
7. Take inspired action.
-> When the good feeling and energy are there - it's THE momentum that you want to follow through! I have never made wrong decisions when I do this.
I’d love to hear from you: How did you boost your courage, confidence and decision-making skills?
If you are at the crossroads, indecisive about your next steps on your business or career, I’d love to invite you to a complimentary Clarity coaching call where we connect and make a plan for the next steps. Book the call here
We have also got have got the confidence workshop updated and available online again
See all the details and get instant access to the workshops here
