Are you a bedtime procrastinator?

Sounds familiar??

I see this happening with many of my clients, mom friends, people in demanding jobs... and occasionally slip back to it myself.

When my daughter was a baby everybody asked, and still are, how is she sleeping, and I still say it’s not her, or the baby, but me who did not choose myself and my well-being and sleep by going to bed early and allowing myself REST, do nothing.

The late-night “relaxation” and revenging is often related to self-sabotaging, I’m not enough/unworthy patterns, hiding feelings or escaping the reality- the jobs we hate, the relationship we struggle with and want to avoid real intimacy with all that doing, the resentment with the kids we silently think about them "stealing all our time" (let's bring some honesty here)...

So... in the evening when all the things are done, kids are in bed and the kitchen shines (or doesn't), we think we reward ourselves by watching the movie for 5 minutes at the midnight with one-eye open and try to fool ourselves that we actually took time for ourselves.

This is what one of my mom-entrepreneur clients said. She struggled hard with time management, productivity, and emotional issues without having any time for herself. It was not true either.

There's often a belief related to this that one is not deserving, worthy, or motivated enough (personally or professionally) to be the most energetic, best and brightest version of oneself. And "it's not possible" take time for herself during the daytime to recharge, and rest- which is also a time management issue that stems from the root cause.

Taking time in the middle of the day for exercising, self-care, and more of it after work too was an energetical game-changer for me. It helped because I didn't feel that obligated to do that late at night and most of the time it didn't happen. So I was not feeling resentful, guilty, and constantly battling with self-betrayal, putting up so much pressure on the evenings. It also was a key to boosting my productivity and ability to flow, yes resting, taking time off (there are many studies about this, the relaxed brain is brilliant, efficient, easygoing and productive).

After putting Stella to bed, I often end up lying on the floor and meditating, and wrapping up the day because that silence is the most fulfilling and her dark room relaxes me.

Recently I've also been watching Gray's Anatomy. It's silly and non-sense, it soothes and relaxes my busy brain. After 10 years, I was able to catch up to season 15 easily, no brainer 😃

When we prioritize ourselves, listen to ourselves, and do things based on that- that's when the heavens open. We can feel whole, happy, balanced and clear, that we got this.

How to change?

🌟 First become aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Just observe when you get to the wrong track to become conscious of the pattern.

🌟 A short breathing, quieting down break after work before you start your evening, go home, get your kids, meet your spouse, friends ... is helpful to make the transition smooth, get your body and your mindset aligned with the evening.

We all want to show up for others as our best selves but often miss this part and then think what's wrong with us as we are so cranky (missing headspace).

🌟 Set intentions for the days AND evenings. You can do this kind of mini-plan many times a day in those transitions (before work, meetings, ending your workday, starting family time).

🌟 Ask yourself is that what you feel like doing when you feel overwhelmed by all the options and when you only have a tiny bit of time. Do that.

🌟 When it happens that you get back to your old habits and the autopilot takes over and you scroll/stay up/Netflix/write your journal with one eye open when it’s already too late and the guilt-tripping has started)... be willing to get clarity and ask:

What purpose is your behavior serving?

What might you need to deal with if this problem was resolved?

What would become possible for you if become free from it?

These little things help you feel that you clearly CHOOSE yourself.

When we constantly put and prioritize others before our own needs and wants, it feels like a self-betrayal that causes so much anger, and you silently or loudly blame others they will never give you THAT what you sacrifice for them. Kids are included in this, they unconsciously get their part from all this and that just causes more guilt.

So why don't you choose yourself, your wellbeing, your health your energy???

The truth is it's the little heart inside you who needs all THAT love, care, tenderness from you. Then you can receive it from the others.

Then it’s possible to choose you and make a decision for yourself and your wellbeing. 😘

Image by Victoria Heath from Unplash

I didn't know I suffered from anxiety before I faced postpartum anxiety

I didn't know I suffered from anxiety before I became a mother.

On my first Mother’s day, a few months after my daughter was born, I realized I was going through something more intensive than just the normal levels of overwhelm, and anxiety.

I woke up happy and excited.

I got everything I had silently wished for: a lovely breakfast, time together, a beautiful candle as a gift.

I cried when I heard “you’re such a good mother” as it felt so good to get the recognition I had craved.

Later on that day we went to the park, it was the first warm spring day. I had all the reasons to be happy.

Suddenly anxiety took control of me. I felt so restless, uncomfortable in my own skin, angry, panicky, and trying to control things and push the growing emotions away.

I was sent home and I tried to rest but cried as I couldn’t calm myself down. Me who had over 10 years of meditation practice, and knowing so much about anxiety through my work.

I felt guilty, impostor and helpeless.

I then started realizing I was going through something more than normal emotions and behavior that I couldn’t get through on my own.

I Googled about postpartum anxiety and it all rang the bell.

• In general, I felt out of control, like everything and everyone was controlling me and my life that had changed completely.

• I felt I can't handle and control my emotions by feeling them away like I normally do.

• I was worrying a lot, living in the future or the past.

Before things were getting better they got worse, like they sometimes do.

I started getting panic attacks out of the blue while walking on the street on my own or having lunch by myself.

It was difficult for me to relax and trust the process and fully enjoy my life and time with the baby without thinking of the next thing, my work and my business, our future.

I felt so unsafe, terrified, not able to understand what was going on with me.

I tried to overcontrol things and my overwhelming emotions.

While at the same time I super happy about my baby, she was more than welcomed, a dream come true.

I loved spending time with her.

It was very black and white like it is when we deal with subconscious patterns.

As I got help from my trusted therapists and healer and started focusing on healing myself, taking time for myself and recovering, I realized I had had anxiety since I was a child.

All this led me to a transformational healing journey that helped me improve many areas of life and make my desires real.

why all this triggered:

• We had just moved to a new country, Germany. It was like a whole new planet after New York. 3 days after we moved in I knew I was expecting

• My work had been validating me, and my value externally. I had always been looking for external validation- and of course, when this was “taken away” I missed the fulfilling feeling that my work had given to me

• I still didn’t feel fully worthy, safe, successful, and lovable as I was, right there but I was always trying to achieve and earn it, in many ways

• Motherhood, the schedules, and the sleeplessness and all those emotions and my own and the generational patterns from the past triggered the mother wound

• The daily self-care practice that had been keeping me centered, sane and like my best self for years- was not existing even it would have been possible to squeeze it in: I didn’t do that when I had a chance but rushed to work, write, do the chores when I got a little bit time for myself

I didn’t really prioritize myself but was operating on that super mom mode and model most women learn from society and earlier generations.

I was surprised to see how this over-caring and over-nurturing “I can do everything and take care of everyone” role activated in me automatically, even I consider myself as a modern and independent woman.

Healing

I was able to heal the anxiety completely by doing the work with myself.

• I was getting external help and using the tools and methods I have, working relentlessly with limiting beliefs, energy and tackling the patterns that showed up along the ways.

• Anxiety was one reasons that caused me eczema I had suffered on and off since I was 12 years old.

• I healed the past relationships, subconscious blocks with energy psychology, hypnotherapy, and shadow work. I was consciously and consistently healing the heart, mind, and my energy, the inner child in me that had been rejected and abandoned - all of it.

• I became aware and broke the old patterns related to why I was not feeling safe and needed to control, but also generational patterns that had triggered it, the mother wounds.

Since then…

I am so so happy to share I am not waking up anxious anymore.

I don’t get those sudden anxiety attacks that make me clean or organize things obsessively to get myself organized.

I still feel anxious sometimes, I believe it's one feeling that we all have sometimes, but it doesn’t take control of me anymore.

The emotions pass and they stay topical, as I feel them away and don’t push or deny them.

The foundation, the bottom of the feeling is clear that’s how it feels and it feels safe, it’s lasting.

I'm not afraid to feel anxious or overwhelmed anymore.

All this was needed so I could recover, become the whole and empowered woman, mother, and entrepreneur that I am now, perfect as imperfect.

why am I sharing this

Mothers are afraid to share and communicate how they feel because no one wants anyone to think they are imperfect mothers and parents, or not loving or taking care of their children well.

As a hypnotherapist, I know how easily trauma is born and how easily we get conditioned and that terrified me what I was “doing” for my daughter. There was so much guilt and a lot of acceptance healed this.

The real reason why we don’t talk about these things that are actually quite common is simply that it requires vulnerability.

All that I went through is common.

I continuously work with myself when my daughter triggers patterns or intensive emotions in me, it’s not what she does or is but it’s how I react to things. That’s something I can control- me.

So I want to say that you are a good enough, loving, and caring mother and your children will be okay even you have issues and that you are not helpless or alone with them.

You have the power to help and heal yourself and your children will benefit from as much as you do.

That’s how you change the course of the future for your children- and how they will feel about themselves, as a child, adult, and later possibly as a parent- by breaking the patterns that may come far from previous generations.

first aid to anxiety is counterintuitive

By working and helping myself and my clients to heal anxiety, this is what I've learned:

• The root cause, the emotional root of the anxiety is always about fears, fear of the future, fear of the unknown, fear of happiness.

• Deep down the person doesn't somehow feel safe: Comfortable in their own skin, doesn't believe they are lovable, good enough to receive what they want with ease, hence overcontrolling, obsessing.

• They can't trust the unknown, trust the process, surrender to be in the now but constantly thinking of the future, controlling the outcome, obsessing- they tried to keep control no matter what.

• They try to control the anxiety, push it away, avoid facing the related issues, and as it's not possible it grows. It's a vicious cycle, I know.

• Anxiety is often causing autoimmune disease, sensitivities, skin issues, allergies. For me it was eczema and sensitivities, rash was right on my face.

Be with anxiety, breathe through your anxiety, accept you are anxious, feel the anxiety, feel your fears, write them down- share the fact.

The fears never go away completely but you can change the relationship with them and your future by shifting your focus elsewhere.

This is something you can do when you trust and know you are worthy and enough to have what you want and need.

• Your feelings can't really hurt you, it's a feeling.

• Denying your feelings and issues only makes them grow.

It's safe for you to feel and it's possible for you to heal yourself whole.

Please remember, you are enough and lovable even when you feel anxious and struck by fear- accept yourself as anxious in that moment is the guidance I often give to my clients.

Are you struggling with anxiety or overwhelm, or other emotional patterns that prevent you to enjoy your work or life fully?

If so I can help. You may also check out the rapid transformational healing workshops here.

Also, I'd love to hear your thoughts about this! Did you go through something similar when you became a mother? How have you overcome anxiety or issues with overwhelm?

Much love,

Jenni

P.S. If you need any help with getting unstuck, become free from the emotional and mental patterns so you can enjoy yourself, your life, and work and expand from that place, I have limited spots open for my 1:1 Stuck to Success & Flow program. We go through a unique healing process using the proven methods that help you transform your beliefs thoroughly and wholeheartedly. My next availability for the new clients is in August 2021. Book a Clarity call to get started.

How to energize yourelf when you feel drained

My 2-year old daughter had been waking multiple times per night for the last few nights. Actually even longer.

I’ve been okay with that; up during the nights and feeling energized during the days, until suddenly I was at my breaking point.

The lack of sleep starts eating us slowly and surely.

Already on Sunday, I needed to stay at home to take a nap when everyone else went to the beach. 

Yes, that was a severe FOMO moment, I hate anything or anyone over-controlling me, like even lack of sleep, and I felt sorry for myself that I couldn’t join my daughter and husband, as I really wanted to go. 

But… I needed to prioritize my well-being to get through the day.

It reminded me about my burnout and related insomnia from 12 years ago. My body still remembers well how awful that felt, and as I have said there’s no way I’m letting anything like that happen again. 

That’s why I love endlessly priest about healthy habits, how to maintain your energy, wellbeing from the inside out because all that is the source of everything and help others heal the roots for their issues, like I have done. 

It took a long time until I found the ways (worthiness) to make things easier for myself and find the shortcuts. 

Finding microwave potatoes from Spain is one of these shortcuts and helps to get dinner ready SO much faster (and they are better than the big muddy ones, tasting like new potatoes :)) I’m so proud of myself I’ve been able to let go of perfectionism in these little but remarkable ways! Allowing myself to make things as easy as I can is my mantra nowadays- with business and pleasure.  

So back to it… on Monday morning I woke up dead tired again. 

Lack of sleep makes anyone feel low, lacking energy, clarity, and creativity, and joy. 

The foggy brain, unclear thoughts, issues with the memory, never-ending sentences… yes, the tired brain disconnects us from our essence and brilliance. From the body and it’s hard to be present and our best selves when we are in survival mode. It’s easy to neglect healthy habits when you are just so tired and rather complain than do anything for it.  

Before I had a child I had no idea what kind of miracles working mothers were capable of. Now I know. 

You do amazing things! You should be so much prouder of yourself! You are creative, passionate, your mindset is better than many high-achievers, you get through anything!

After years of working with people and myself, I also know we CAN help ourselves feel energized and good even if it’s not possible for you to nap, sleep (or fall asleep) during the day because you work, and you have your passions.

When you feel good, good things can come, you get the results. Putting in the effort from the place of negative energy is a waste of time.

I also know many exhausted high-achieving women and mothers who tend to put in more effort, do one more thing, juggle even more balls in the air and escape their feelings, facing the reality and allowing themselves to get the rest of their need because they feel they will miss something out. But also because deep down they don’t feel enough and worthy to do that- they give a lot but don’t really know how to receive the same.

I was so tired on Monday morning I didn’t remember later in the day if I had even showered (I did).

What I did help me to start my day again so I forgot the morning totally, which was the turning point for me and I got myself energized for the work and the calls with my clients in the afternoon. I don’t like to cancel but as a coach, I need to show up as my best self. 

Before we can show up for anyone else, even for our kids, we have to show up for ourselves, and that’s the key here.  

Tips on how to raise your energy after a sleepless night or when you are feeling drained and you have to work and take care of your responsibilities:

1. If you wake up dead tired, don’t fuel yourself up with coffee but sleep more if you can. Just go back to bed and rest. 

2. Feel your feelings, lie in bed, and breathe to release all tension and negativity out. 

3. Journal about everything that’s going on. It’s okay to vent and struggle. Let it out.

4. Give yourself permission to have an off day. 

5. Focus on easy, simple tasks that don't require a lot from you.  

6. Minimize all events that are not obligatory on that day including work & personal life.

7. Say no to everything you can. 

8. Don’t make any big decisions. 

9. Ask for help, from your partner, a friend. Say that you are struggling. 

10. Order in, make a really simple dinner, or ask someone else to cook.

11. Think about the issues that cause the problem and ideas on how to fix the situation. Do you need to find information on something? Can you get help with that? Is there a boundary that you need to set for yourself or others? Change a habit if it’s somehow you who keeps you up? 

12. Go to bed early. Check your sleep habits, no screens, no substances, set those rules for yourself.

For those who are saying they don’t have time for this, you can make the time. Sit in the car for while by doing nothing, connect within, with your heart and your body. Being present, closing your eyes, and resting even you are not sleeping is helpful. You can scribble things down to any piece of paper.

If exhaustion or lack of sleep is starting to affect your performance and how you feel constantly, get help and figure out where is that coming from and change that.

When you have been operating on the high-striving mode it takes a while for your system to calm down. Repeat these little practices often, daily. Prioritize you and you will be rewarded, with results, happiness- wellbeing. You matter and your health matters.

What are the old ways that don't work for you anymore? What ways work for you?

Would love to hear from you!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. The doors to the Energetic Business Breakthrough are closing on May 7th! If you feel stuck with your business, habits, or career and have challenges in receiving your highest good, your goals and desires Sign up here

P.S.S. If you struggle with insomnia or stress, finding time, energy- balancing the work and life and it’s hard for making things work for you, I can help. You can get started by applying to book a complimentary Clarity call with me.

RELATED POST: 10 TIPS FOR BETTER SLEEP

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash

How to make decision-making easy

My 2-year old is now a strong yes-no person.

Yes, it's the stage often called "terrible twos”, which is most terrible for us adults who can't handle their quick, wild and so unexpected emotional shifts.

I know how overwhelming it is for the parents when a rational approach or explanation doesn't work. 

Small children don't have logic. They only respond with their emotions, which are bigger than their bodies, and yet, they don't know why they feel that way.

This morning she put tried to put her new summer shoes on. I asked if she needed help. 

She didn't. 

She managed to get them somehow on but was not happy with the straps. Something didn't look or feel right to her (she is very much into details.)

She tried again but got even more frustrated as it didn't work the way she wanted. Then she outrageously asked for help. 

I tried to help but she refused to receive it with the loud NO. 

She cried and screamed out of frustration without able to decide what she really wanted. 

Something clearly didn't feel right. Yet she didn’t know WHAT would feel right.

Sounds familiar?

All we knew is that she absolutely loved the shoes. She made her choices from two good options and picked her favorite ones in the blink of an eye. 

This is how a 2-year old often feels. A bit like a teenager, remember?

Young children don't have any earlier life experiences, new things are coming up all the time and all they can do is to watch and learn, explore and try again. 

They make all their decisions, conclusions, and create their world views based on their emotions and what they have learned so far. They already have a belief system- and they have already learned from early on how others respond to their wants and needs. 

This is how our “conditioning” is being formed.  

Which is either helping us to make clear and confident decisions for ourselves, delegate things for others, know that we are worthy and deserving to get our desires (or not), rant about things forever when we lack clarity and feel insecure, or feel so guilty after we have missed an opportunity or have made a mistake...

The adults are often extremely indecisive, struggling with exactly the same emotions than the kids....

Did you know confidence and decision-making is a SKILL you can develop? 

How to make confident decisions that are right for you?

1. Trust your gut and original feeling.

-> Remind yourself of the first feeling and intuition that you first had.

2. Stop overthinking and analyzing.

-> When this happens, it's the resistant, rational mind that is taking over and trying to stop you from stepping out of your comfort zone.

3. Stop asking around what you should do. They don't really know, only you know.

-> If you ask from others, filter their personal beliefs, opinions, negative experiences out of it.

4. Make informed decisions.

->Gather information, ask questions and wait until you know, the feeling comes.

5. Ask yourself what are the consequences?
-> Ponder, if you will you be pleased with your decision 10 minutes, 10 months, or a few years later.

6. Don't try to force the answers or decisions. Go back to no. 1.

-> Forcing means your heart is not with the decision. If you are on deadline: set intention for the outcome and time when you need to know. Then take a break and don't think about it, but rather let it feel inside.

7. Take inspired action.

-> When the good feeling and energy are there - it's THE momentum that you want to follow through! I have never made wrong decisions when I do this.

I’d love to hear from you: How did you boost your courage, confidence and decision-making skills?

If you are at the crossroads, indecisive about your next steps on your business or career, I’d love to invite you to a complimentary Clarity coaching call where we connect and make a plan for the next steps. Book the call here

We have also got have got the confidence workshop updated and available online again

See all the details and get instant access to the workshops here

A quick practice that helps you be focused, productive and energized throughout the day

Now that working from home is part of the new normal I have been encouraging myself and my clients to include easy intentional mindful practices that won’t require much time but help to stay aligned, focused, and productive throughout the day.

When you start your morning by planning it intentionally it helps you to get the results and keep your energy balanced rather than drained. 

My “lockdown” life started already years ago when I became an online entrepreneur. After I became a mother, I needed to tweak and change my habits even more as I didn’t have that much time for wellbeing and self-care, working and balancing life while everything is quite chaotic.

I needed to learn how to ride on the chaos, lead myself in the new setting to stay sain, work for 15-20 hours per week, manage my schedules, energy and time efficiently, so that I have energy for playing with her and household chores.

Now she’s a toddler and we can do a lot more fun things together.

I created this practice and a habit that when it’s my turn to take Stella to the nursery in the mornings, we focus on admiring nature and the surroundings; the birds and trees, and smells of flowers.

She’s sitting in the stroller and often nodding strongly along with her bright “Joo” (yes in Finnish), and pointing things out on the way. Sometimes she just sits still, and it seems like she’s getting herself ready for the day as well.

I share with her the plans for the day as much as with myself to get my mind organized for the day. Speaking our mind, our desires and intentions, out loud is a lot more effective than just thinking about them.

It’s like a meditative mindful walk, being present, connected is a great way to get the day on the right track.

I used to do this with my planner, but now as I don't have too much time while working from home and having a toddler, I've found this to be a helpful way to support myself, feel centered and productive.  

As I do this, I’m ready to get started and can start working right away when I get back home.

A few years ago, before I brought in this kind of habits into my days, I often didn't get much done during the day. Even though I worked long hours and was so busy with my business that I didn't have time for personal life or self-care. And I didn't even have a small child!

I neglected my body, skipped mealtimes, and when things didn't work that well I had a tendency to push myself forward and work even more!

That led to negative cycles, anxiety, and exhaustion until I realized it and made some radical changes. 

Slowing down, bringing in these kinds of habits and ways that give me clarity, and structure for my work has positively affected my performance and energy levels; how I feel about work and myself. Also, I have done a lot of work with my past conditioning, thought patterns and mindset. 

Upgrading the beliefs has allowed me to give myself permission to feel SAFE to know I am enough, do enough and just allow myself to enjoy life and work more. 

That pressure that I felt inside before has released, bringing the feeling of calmness and trusting the process of co-creation.

Are you working at home, or you are forced to work from home or are you in lockdown again?  

Getting yourself intentionally ready for what is to come makes a great difference in how your day goes and ends.

You see different results and feel different: Complete and successful by the end of the day.

Going out for a short walk and getting your body and mind intentionally ready for the day makes miracles on how your day goes. 

You will be more focused, productive, and relaxed - throughout the day

This is why it’s worth making the effort, which it doesn’t actually require that much. Only a little bit conscious awareness and willingness to be well, feel well while getting amazing results.

When you take time to focus on yourself, your well-being you are staying more aware, present, and simply, happier when you are able to see and feel what is going on.

So here’s a recipe for a mindful, grounding, feel-good walk (you can do this anytime during the day and enjoy the benefits):

1) Just get out and walk around a few blocks. Explore the surroundings, like a child. Go slowly, take your time. You will see a lot of details that you might have missed!

2) Feel how you and your body feels & breathe and relax tensions consciously.

3) Set three intentions for your day. Visualize your day from the morning until the evening with the best, your desired outcome.

4) Think about your workday, and where will you start when you go back home so you know what you are going to do first.

Productivity & Success Tip:

Always start with what feels most difficult first in the morning. That tackles the procrastination as your mind is not that distracted yet, and your creativity is high. Then you also minimize the real threat that your mind starts creating all kinds of excuses, denial, and busywork that prevents you from taking action that you actually want and need to take. 

Is this helpful? I'd love to hear from you. What ways help you to get things done efficiently when you're working from home?

Much love, 

Jenni

Get more inspiration, valuable advice, free resources and enjoy the energy of like-minded women in our Facebook community!

The Art of Protecting Your Energy and Celebrating Success.

Many of us are more sensitive to external energies than we think. Often women, who are natural nurturers, have a tendency and a habit to sense other people’s feelings and related energies automatically and unconsciously rush to “help” others with their own emotions. 

This is thought to be compassion and the way of helping others. In the end, it can leave you feeling so low and exhausted that you only think about what hit you. It can feel hard to carry through your days properly.

We can be compassionate and be there for others without giving a piece of ourselves to others, and they will benefit from it as well.

When I started working with people and my self-knowledge and consciousness grew, I started using the tools on how to set personal and energetic boundaries to protect my energy, and stop feeling drained. 

If you are a highly-sensitive empath like me or feel like you suck in other people’s emotions and energies easily, I want you to know there are ways and tools on how to not let that happen. I teach these tools to my clients. 

This kind of self-sabotaging habit is often inherited from earlier generations and our caretakers.
They are often showing up in the relationship dynamics, which often go hand to hand with success and abundance issues.

Through my own and my clients experiences the root cause for this is always related to receiving and self-worth issues. When those are cleared, all the good can flow in.

Also the one common belief women have is that they are afraid to be successful and step in their own power, even they want it.

It’s safe for you to feel what you are feeling. Also JOY, LOVE, and SUCCESS. 

What if… You can choose to not let anything or anyone bring you or your energy down right now, today? 

This is an outrageous and unheard idea for some people. During this strange year, it has become harder for some to feel joy without feeling guilty. But joy, happiness and success needs to be celebrated.

I have been working with a client on her habits and energy. Since working together she has experienced a transformation in her energy and she has started flourishing in every way, her creativity is peaking, relationships are getting better, new work projects show up... 

So when she said that she has had such an amazing week and for the first time she went the feelings of WHOLENESS she felt that she didn’t need the session that week and wanted to reschedule.

To which I gently said that now it’s time to celebrate it and use this new energy for expanding even more- to get her body used to it. 

It’s more than important to celebrate and feel the big and small successes in the body and help the nervous system re-wire with it (this is called neuroplasticity). It’s so much easier to focus on negative than embrace the positive, the good things! This is because the mind is so often wired with negative, and it’s a habit that is based on your beliefs and stories you tell yourself.

Celebrating however, helps to create a new long-lasting tendency on focusing positive good things - so the body can keep receiving, and not only giving. 

This is what embodying success really means and how we keep the good things up and flowing. For example, journaling about positive things is incredibly important and empowering, and expansive.

How to get started with managing your feelings and protecting your energy, so you feel good and safe to do what you need to do without allowing your emotions or fears take hold on you?

I wanted to share an easy, daily practice that you can use anywhere anytime: 

1. Ask yourself if you are willing to feel better?  

2. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, in your mind and your body, and breathe through them. Be with the feeling until it releases. It’s just a feeling.

3. Talk to yourself in empowering ways. Say what you would like to and need to hear from someone else. You can also say “It’s safe for you to feel this xxxxx.”

4. Changing your thoughts, changes your feelings.

5. The point of power is in the present moment.

Try setting an intention to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements and successes, when they happen. With all of the uncertainty in the world, it’s more important now than ever to protect your positive energies and focus on the positives that you can control in your life.

Unapologetically celebrate and enjoy your success, focus on the happiness you feel  and be present in that moment- recognise your authentic power, rippling positively into the world!

When you intentionally pay attention to your little and big wins, you will notice that positivity expands, your creativity will flourish, relationships will improve and everything will seem more aligned and clear. 

I would love to hear your thoughts, what has helped you to feel more centered and successful?

Much love, Jenni

Client sessions: I can't make money. My business is just an expensive hobby.

In this Subconscious Clarity Coaching session, I work with Cirila Valmaggia. Cirila is a wellness coach helping midlife women release weight and change their wellbeing habits so they can enjoy long-term results. 

When Cirila reached out to me she felt totally blocked from getting clients and making money. She was self-sabotaging, struggling with the fear of failure and happiness at the same time. 

She said, her business was only an expensive hobby for her. While she was working hours per day she felt paralyzed and unmotivated from taking action, asking for money, and connecting with prospective clients. 

In the session, we start working with her issues and business goals consciously. Then we dive in to work with her subconscious, so that we are getting clarity about the root cause of why she was not able to make money and fear of creating create clients to get an understanding of why she was doing that for herself.

We then work with the mindset, her offers, and creating a clear action plan and also prepare for similar future roadblocks.  

She’s able to discover and release some big patterns and limiting beliefs coming that were holding her back from receiving money or success decades later since the events happened:

“If I don’t have anything, I can’t lose anything.”

“I never get what I want.”

“I’m willingly taking the pain if that prevents other people from being in pain.”

This session shows how powerful the subconscious mind is and how it can hold us back, blocked, and struggling with ourselves, our habits, and emotions painfully for ages until we take back control of the struggle, and shed light on it and release them.

The good thing is that when we become aware of the root causes, things can be changed very quickly and action becomes possible.  The brilliance of the subconscious work is that it’s fast.

We, or our issues, are not that complicated as we often think.

I checked in with Cirila a day after the session, and she was already taking action with everything she committed in the session. She said she was on fire creating new offers she felt aligned with.

So right after the session she started taking action on what she had only aimed and dreamed for over 1,5 years. This is really showing the power of the mind and what happens when we are able to release the stories and the emotional attachment with the old childhood experiences.

This episode is good to listen to:

• If you are unable to receive, keep or make money,

• You are feeling stuck and struggle with your habits, wellbeing, and self-sabotage.

• If you have a tendency to drain yourself with overworking, doing too much or follow your plans and get things done.

• If you struggle with overwhelm, anxiety or procrastination, somehow avoid and have difficulties in taking action.

After listening, you will understand better what are the subconscious blocks and beliefs and how it is possible to change them and yourself powerfully and rapidly for good.

This is the inner power, showing how you can change and own your old stories and become free from them.

Listen to the recording of the session here:

Many things and beliefs discussed in these sessions are universal and relatable and not uncommon at all. This is one of the reasons I want to share this information.

If you struggle with something similar, I hope this empowers you to believe you can get over your issues and find your way forward.

If you resonate with this and want help with your money blocks, productivity, procrastination, or letting go of other self-sabotaging habits and blocks:

Connect me to book your session here

You will leave the session with a plan, feeling confident, reassured, and able to see and change what hold you stuck in your situation. 

Then… I would love to hear from you!

Did you enjoy to listening to this session? Where you able to related to Cirila’s story and her beliefs? Leave a comment below!

Much love,
Jenni

Seeking to be understood: how to deal with emotional triggers

No matter how hard and more we try to explain ourselves or hope that they would understand us... it drives us crazy.

We want them to understand and wish they would appreciate us and value our efforts. 

Why do we get so triggered when someone is not understanding us?

"Being misunderstood brings up so many emotions because for the ego it’s rejection—It’s the original emotional abandonment most of us have experienced as children, who are desperately wanting to be seen, heard, + validated." - the Holistic Psychologist

Her recent post said this particular trauma cycle caused her anger and resentment. She wanted to hide and didn't feel safe in certain situations when she was putting her work out there.

I can relate to that 100%. When I saw her post, there was a huge light bulb hovering above my head as it showed me something so important of my childhood trauma I hadn’t realized. I was able to connect some of the important dots I had missed. 

Why we can't get over the common and understandable misunderstandings and just stay true to our own truth, stand in our power neutrally, with high self-appreciation and acceptance… is coming from childhood patterns and trauma.

Despite the fact that we would like to think so, it's NOT caused by your partner. Blaming others is always the easiest route we would like to take.  

The others mirror our beliefs and patterns.

They are there to purposefully show you what you need to be responsible of so that you can overcome the pattern:

* is then giving us an OPPORTUNITY to heal and change the patterns we are most often sucked in by our parents or caretakers.

* When there's an old emotional wound constantly showing that someone is not understanding us, it makes us feel that they are rejecting us.

* This wound triggers the same emotions as the unhealed trauma, experience or event. 

When we are not conscious of what is causing the trigger, we can't then help but attack, turn against them, defend ourselves and often start the blame cycle.

The child we still have inside us has never been able to heal, get the nurturing, loving understanding and validation she has desperately craved.

The anger, rage, and hurt are getting out of hands when the grown-ups are trying to fulfill their inner child’s emotional needs in the intimate relationships. 

To protect, to keep you safe from experiencing the old pain. 

The same cycles repeat in the relationship until someone, and as there are two in the relationship, chooses a different way and breaks the pattern. To step away from the ego tantrums and start healing herself, or the relationship is ended.

There's so much we can do for ourselves and then for our relationships.

If there is love and we are willing to work through the obstacles any patterns can be changed.

What two people need in any healthy relationship is vulnerability, boundaries, but mainly the ability to listen and be heard is helping a lot and shifts the dynamics quickly.

We only wish we would be seen, heard, validated and accepted as we are.

Can you appreciate yourself, listen to yourself and express your needs? Do you believe you deserve to be heard and validated?

When you learn to soothe your emotions and fulfill your own needs, you keep your cup full. Then you can give and receive love and attention unconditionally.

Much love, Jenni

Thank you Unsplash / Elia Pelligrini for the image.

How to stop over-giving and start receiving what you deserve

When you over-give, you probably lack boundaries, and it can feel like someone is taking advantage of you, rejecting you, or even bullying you- somehow using you and your kindness for their benefit.

Also, it often feels that you need to bend, please and prioritize other people’s emotions over yours- like you don’t matter, which is quite frustrating.

This can create an unwanted fight, flight or freeze reaction that triggers your old hurt, anger, and unhealed wounds.

You might believe that you get back the same by giving a lot.

A typical example is a couple repeating the same arguments, stories, and blames repeatedly. Then there's peace for a little while; you hope you got over it, and then the same hopeless painful cycle happens again.

Another example would be that you have worked hard for your project but still didn't get the promised raise. You feel frozen in the situation and don't know what to do, so you don't do anything, but it increases resentment and injustice.

Or you raise your fees, and in the sales calls, you slip the old fee or give them a discount without them even asking for it, and later you want to bite your tongue and try to work with your mindset, but that's not helping.

The third example could be that whenever you try to make your child do something you have asked for, and they are not doing it, you lose your nerve and start yelling, which doesn't work either. It only adds up guilt and makes you feel powerless and tense.

All this makes your mind conspire about the old stories of how they are impossible, things won't ever change, and you can't do anything about it.

This is when people feel stuck and hopeless and start struggling with insecurities and confidence.

All you want is connection, comfort, and feel safe and knowing how to change your situation.

This is possible, but repeating the same doesn’t work.

We need to look deeper and work with our inner dialogue and strategies rather than trying to force the change and yell louder to be seen and heard- to feel that we matter and to get what we truly desire.

What keeps us repeating the SAME harmful and painful patterns comes from the unconscious mind: earlier in life, we learn the dynamics that we repeat decades later.

If we are unaware of our inner dialogue, unable to heal and accept our past experiences, our super fast and powerful brain repeats the learned behaviors and old limiting stories every time the right emotions are triggered.

THAT keeps us stuck and struggling- if it's not consciously released.

Here's one example.

One of my clients struggled with the fear of rejection and conflict.

She was afraid of confrontation and speaking up her mind.

This caused her issues at work, she never got support from her bosses, and her professional knowledge was not recognized or praised, verbally or financially.

In her relationships, she ended up pleasing others and giving away her power in different situations, being a nice, good girl who could not keep any boundaries that would fulfill her real needs.

In her childhood, she was constantly rejected by her strict father, overpowered to obey, and shouted quiet. She learned that being quiet and doing her own things without sharing with anyone, feeling that she did not belong anywhere.

Certain events related to her father in her childhood caused her never to learn to trust others fully, not even friends.

She felt disconnected from her relationships and socially isolated. She played it safe and picked people who were unavailable in one way or another. And, of course, she could not get the closeness and the love she wanted and needed.

When we finished working with her, she released the need for fear. She felt at ease in expressing herself and her needs calmly, without the old anger bursts she had.

She was able to recognize her own self-worth and value with high confidence, and therefore was able to set boundaries not only help her but her partner and family.

Even in situations that could cause confrontations, she was able to speak up, knowing the other people were responsible for their emotions and reactions, and understanding that their responses are also led by their own learned stories.

That helped her make life-long changes in all areas of life.

Do you have clear, healthy boundaries with yourself, with your spouse, your kids, and at work?

Here are three questions that can help you stop over-giving and start receiving:

• In what situations do you lack boundaries or over-give, or neglect your own needs?

• How does it make you feel when this happens?

• Where and how did you learn this?

• How do you want to change and be?

• What kind of boundaries do you need to set for yourself?

• How can you practice receiving more?

Without clarity, you can't see things clearly and make any changes, so if this resonates, take time to work through these questions.

P.S. If it feels like other people or your unwanted behaviors and blocks control your life too much, and you are ready to get your power back, I can help. Feel free to book a clarity call with me. I this call we create clarity in your situation and make a plan how to change things around.

How to deal with rejection- and become immune to criticism

We have all experienced the pain of rejection and criticism in some form throughout our lives.

A critical comment from a co-worker, teacher, at school, being let go or fired, going through a breakup, divorce, or being excluded from the family or group of friends. Receiving a no from a client.

Rejection hurts.

These situations prey on our insecurities and make us feel like we are not good enough, viewing rejection as an indication of self-worth.

Most of us were not raised with high self-esteem and the skills to deal with rejection. Things happen to all of us at school and in life.

When we get rejected, it is possible that old pain triggers, and that is often causing feelings of jealousy, abandonment, isolation, and anxiety. 

To build up strong self-esteem and confidence is to become immune to criticism.

To overcome the fear of rejection, it’s important to understand it. 

We are all born with an instinct to survive; we do this by finding a connection with each other and avoiding rejection. We are scared of being rejected, hurt, and not being accepted as we are.

“Our brain is wired to the negative, to self-preserve, and protect us from hurt.” - Marisa Peer

This is why we tend to remember and focus on the things that went wrong, sometimes even if things are going great, as we have desired.

Have you ever had a really good day, but at the end of it, you suddenly remember old painful memories of failures or what someone has commented about your work, your looks, opinions, or who you are? 

I have worked with many successful, high-achieving women and men; even the most successful people struggle to deal with rejection and criticism. 

Why? We all crave acceptance, belonging and connection with each other; that’s the basis of human needs.

Also, we are all born without the fear of rejection, knowing that we are loved, accepted, and good enough- deserving of the very best. 

The fear of rejection and learned beliefs often come from childhood. These fears can be limiting your life and your success if they are not addressed.

This can keep even highly successful people playing small, sabotaging themselves, diminishing their needs and feelings, and working too much and too hard as they lack boundaries and awareness.

Fear or rejection can limit people to have positions, uplevel and increase their income responding. 

Often a rejection can trigger inner unconscious fear so strong that they feel stuck and unable to get over it, but start sabotaging themselves.

People raised by critical caretakers are afraid of conflicts, speaking up, and expressing themselves and their needs in calm, confident manners. Often they hold a lot of anger and resentment inside them as if they feel they were never seen and accepted as they were as a child.

They learned to respond to criticism by constantly trying to improve and demand more and more of themselves. Also, they learned to get the attention the children need and crave in negative ways as they need to get it some way and have no capabilities to understand or express their needs better. 

This wiring can still be active in their adulthood if it’s not consciously treated. It can be that the children of critical, judgmental, and demanding parents have become highly critical adults, often dealing with anger issues.

What’s important to understand is that critical people has the most criticism and judgment reserved for themselves. So often when an overly critical colleague, boss, friend, or family member throws out a mean comment about you, it is really a displacement for their own insecurities. 

Understanding this gives you the most liberating power to deal with rejection. 

How to boost self-esteem

The greatest starting point to boosting your self-esteem is to know that you are enough and worthy of your real desires. 

Once your mind shifts to this new perspective, you gain control back of your thoughts, take control of your mindset, and overcome the fear of rejection. 

It does not matter what other people think of you, only what you think of yourself. 

Knowing that you are empowered to control what you accept into your consciousness, allows you growth and the opportunity to become immune. Confidence is a skill that you can train.

Self-praise and self-validation will manifest your thoughts and emotions into strong, positive intentional behaviors.

This is why I praise daily clarity practice and reflecting on our days, feelings and events at the end of the day. You can read more of it here and download my free daily planner here to start doing this wonderful practice. 

How to become immune to rejection

You have the power to become immune to criticism- you always have a choice with rejection. 

1. The only person who has the real power to reject you is you. You always have the power to change and choose what you think and how you feel, and there is nothing more powerful than that.
   

2. Be mindful of the way you talk to yourself. Remind yourself of all of the positive things and people in your life or what you have to be grateful for.
   

3. Don’t accept rejection by saying, “I will not let this in.” When you don’t accept rejection, you are not giving your power away for others or to any situation.
   

4. Turn your obstacles to wins. Getting rejected can build resilience, help you grow and when you take the lessons you won’t be bothered to react personally to rejection or criticism in the future.
   

5. When you educate yourself and learn more about your reactions and patterns, you begin to understand why you feel the way you do, and see your underlying reasons behind the obvious and release them.
   

6. Rejection is often misunderstood. Our interpretation of any life events and other people’s comments is based on the stories we tell ourselves and the beliefs we have formed in childhood. This is defining how and why you respond to rejection and criticism the way you do. 

I hope you found this article helpful. How have you got over the fear of rejection or criticism? Leave a comment below!

If you have been rejected and the fear of rejection or confrontation is greater than your own abilities to overcome it, I work with business women helping them to strengthen their inner powers, have high confidence and self-esteem, so that they can expand and be able to take their lives, careers and income to the next level. You can book a free consultation call here to chat about your situation.

This post is inspired by my mentor and hypnotherapy teacher Marisa Peer. Image by Hannah Busing, Unsplash.

Daily self-care and meditation practice for moms and busy bees

HOW TO ADD MEDITATION AND SELF-CARE PRACTICE IN YOUR ALREADY FULL DAILY SCHEDULE

Traditionally we have thought self-care, and meditation in certain ways: being present in the candlelight in the total silence, rose petal baths, water streams, calm music playing on the background, clean crispy white ropes… what a bliss.

While it can be like that it’s not the reality we busy women are living day to day!

Especially when there are businesses to run, high-demanding jobs and small children to take care of- the self-care practice, which is crucial for the wellbeing and emotional balance, has to be looked at in different ways.

The more we help and support ourselves FEEL GOOD in the moments, balance our mental and emotional residues with these little tools and breathing exercises I’m sharing below, you will FEEL BETTER and CLEARER throughout the day.

Then you don't need to wait for that perfect moment in the evening or early morning when you may feel completely drained and only want to rest or numb yourself, which is also very common and only adds up more guilt.

It’s not easy to make any extra time for ourselves when it’s already so freaking busy, I get that!

Especially right now when the schools and daycare are still closed in many countries, or it's not possible or safe to go out all the time.

I know it myself and I have to learn to prioritize brutally and put in the effort consciously and daily to make it happen.

When I became a mother I really had to force myself to start doing my daily meditation and self-care practices again after a couple of months. Just because I soon noticed how unwell, disconnected and anxious I felt, like I lacked ALL control of my life, including sleep.

As the old ways didn't work anymore and I didn't have the possibility to sit in meditation, doing yoga or journaling sometimes for hours per day as I did before, I had to create new ways and methods to squeeze in the practices that mean LIFE to me and are the way how I feel connected and completely myself.

BUT… before I was able to bring these crucial habits back in my life and stop resisting my own wellbeing as hard as I did, I needed the right kind of motivation to make the changes. For me it was my wellbeing and the growing anxiety that almost got out of control. I never knew I was an anxious person before I became a mother and then after I started working with it, I realized I had been an anxious person for a very long time.

This is what often happens when we work with the subconscious beliefs and root causes - we start seeing these patterns repeating themselves everywhere in life. Which is only a good thing, because that then allows to change the behavior.

With many of my women and mom clients, I see that the real reason why they get lost in the busyness and emotional cycles, self-sabotaging habits is that somehow they don’t believe they deserve to take the time for themselves and their self-care. Everyone and everything else goes before their wellbeing and that’s subconsciously most often stemming from lack of self-worth and not feeling good enough.

We can always make time for things that are important for us!

I started going out in the mornings, to meditate, walk and take a breather. Sometimes I’m taking deep breaths, stretching or doing some yoga or scribbling intentions down or do short emotional cleansing with journaling when my daughter is playing around or is sometimes on top of me.

I see my little one is quite a good little yogini already now, she loves copying me and moving her body, pretending taking deep breaths, which is funny and a good thing.

Even those 5-30 minutes are not always perfect stillness but they are still very, very helpful! We can do so much during the days in the middle of the chaos to help ourselves connect and release tensions. That is the practice.

So here a my tips for daily self-care that are not just for the crisis now but also for the daily life:

• Meditation can really be just trying to quiet down and get focused on something mindfully breathing and being present. That little thing is part of your overall wellbeing and happiness.

• Be focused when you’re doing things at home. Notice how well you care about the healthy food you cook for yourself and your family.

• Or when you’re taking time to clean the kitchen, or the house, think about it cleaning not just the physical space but the energies in that space as well. Take this as a practice and your “own” time. (if that’s your only time for yourself it’s good to talk with your partner and organize time for you!)

• When you take a shower, take time to do a shower meditation - love your body and how well it supports you and your health. Visualize the water cleansing your physical body but your mental, emotional, energetic, and spiritual ones too.

• Playing with the kids can be a meditation in some regards. It is recharging and energizing when you forget everything else at that moment and take the time to really focus in on our time with them - it's not only for them but for ourselves too and creates a wonderful deep connection with them.

• When you run your errands, focus on embracing health, money that you have for the payments, focusing on positive thoughts.

• Breathe and visualize yourself being covered by the energy that is protecting and keeping you safe, calm and connected. Your breath is your life force and it’s always with you!

• When you drive with your car or use public transportation, use this time to focus on embracing good things in your life and focus on appreciation and gratitude, especially in the areas you want to expand.

• Before you go to sleep clear the negative energies by journaling about your emotions, talk about them and let go of all anger, frustration and anything on those pages that love to listen to you. Then, think about good things, your dreams, your desires - thinking good empowering thoughts before sleep helps to activate your subconscious to attract it and sleep well.

• Pay attention to your surroundings, nature, when you walk outside or watch out of the window.

• Pay attention to people in your life and what they do, how they are trying to do their best. Give yourself the same praise everyday.

• At the end of the day or during the day make a list in your mind of all things you got done, how well you take care of your tasks, work, others and embrace all that effort and energy that you put in.

• Remind yourself of all that you give and receive it back by praising yourself.

• Allow yourself to enjoy the moments - there are lots of them when you start consciously paying attention to it.

This is a big list helping you to make mind shifts and do almost all of it “on the go”. You can build your kind of self-care practice be part of your days and that’s a practice - without the need to reserve hours or special time for doing it all.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Love Jenni x

We are almost on the other side of this

How are you going to start your new normal?

There's been a lot of change, these past few weeks for us.

They have loosened the restrictions in Spain and first we finally, after two months of full lockdown (no going outside except to grocery stores or for necessities!) we got to go out with the kids for a short time in the day. Stella was quite okay, a little hesitant at first but I heard that some older children didn’t want to go out at all anymore. 

Then we got to go out to exercise and now we can meet 10 people at the time (for 1 hour) and some restaurants are open. We got our babysitter back for some a couple of days per week.

Social connections felt weird at first, like practicing again how to be with others physically after all those video calls...  The inside had become our new safety zone. 

Now we are slowly getting back to some sort of normal life but it takes a while, and there are still restrictions. 
There’s a lot to process.

It’s clear we are not going back to the same old, we have changed and the world has changed that’s for sure. 

I know I have changed.

The last few months were more challenging than I thought while going through it. Now I see how we all have been in that weird survival mode, almost fighting for our life and existence.

Now that it has become easier, I have found myself quite tired.

While my daily life didn’t change that much due to lockdown as I work from home and am used to wearing different hats throughout the day; be a mother, business owner, coach, and therapist, and a personal chef and a wife, while taking care of my own wellbeing as well as I could - it’s been A FULL CHAOTIC LIFE. 

I put a lot of efforts for staying emotionally and mentally balanced, using all the tools I have, sometimes multiple times per day, doing short self-care practices, journaling and exercise.

How we got through the 2 months complete lockdown

It was simply about making clear household rules with my husband. Deciding who takes care of the baby, worktimes, a meal plan, shared calendar, and making sure everyone stays sane.

We got to practice this tight togetherness a little bit already before the chaos started as my husband left his day job and we moved to Mallorca in February, so we were somehow settled already, only the place we lived was new.

During the lockdown it sometimes felt like I was living in another planet and there were just the three of us.  

Our temporary 2 bedroom apartment that we had rent for 6 months didn’t allow huge escapes, other than outdoor terraces. It was the agreed daily conversations that were and are still life saviors for us, keeping the connection and mutual understanding alive.

No matter what we have experienced in the last couple of months, it’s clear that we have loved it here. The island is gorgeous, lifestyle suits us and we are now looking for a new home for us to settle in. 

Personally for me when the lockdown started, it started a dive deep into new depths and go through a personal transformation, working through the old habits, and patterns that we suddenly so clear.

Most of it was related to work, the way of working, but affected in all other areas of life - a new level of self-worth and clarity emerged as I peeled the onion again. 

Inner work is not always easy but as I clearly saw it was offering me a needed change I went on. As I worked through it the clarity I got struck a huge amount of creativity in me and I birthed the free course for quarantine, and Thrive through The Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you. I have written and studied a lot. Somehow I made time for it; when there’s the motivation the time and resources always show up.

I’m obsessed about my work but also working with myself, I just love love love to learn new, change and then being able to expand the next level.

During this transformation I have allowed myself to start to lean even deeper into my intuition and visions even more and use it more for making decisions. It’s the only truth we can trust in the time of uncertainty and worries this crisis has raised in us. The unknown future has always been there but now when the secure foundation was shaken in so many ways it, the future can feel like a scary black hole.

SO HOW ARE YOU DOING - OUTSIDE OF WORK AND CHAOS? 

If you have been getting new insights and know that old ways won’t work anymore, I invite you in to check out the Thrive through the Crisis, Create a new foundation for the new you,  that I designed for this time of transition to new normal, so if you feel called and know it’s time to start creating new, this course will give you the strength, resilience, and confidence you need for it.

The course won’t be happening in this format anymore and now you get an incredible amount of value with my coaching and healing included so join us now…  

Warmly,

Jenni
 

Make your mind work for you- turn off the autopilot and stop working harder

Does it feel like no matter how hard you work or how much effort you put in it feels like a force that you have no control over is keeping you stuck, repeating the same old- staying stuck?

This is happening when your conditioning and subconscious mind simply don’t support your aims and desires. This is the real root cause for the reason why most people stop making their big visions and goals real. It can feel impossible...

Here’s a thing.

Your conscious mind is engaged in creative imagination, which controls your wishes and desires. Yes, your brain is the mini-universe that commands your wishes, invites in what you want. So it’s good to be consciously aware of what you want to invite in.

The conscious mind is run and ruled by your subconscious mind; your autopilot.

Have you ever read a self-help book, attended a class, or watched a video where you got so excited about all the new information and felt inspired to take action to improve your life? 

Your mind starts to explode positivity with all the new ideas and how you are going to put the theory into practice. Yet after a few days, months, and even years- you are still in the same.

Your life remains the same because it was your conscious mind that picked up the information and enhanced your awareness, but the message - your desires - didn’t engage with your subconscious programming that has other, much more powerful ideas; the beliefs you have formed earlier in your life. 

So when you are struggling with the same patterns, feeling stuck and are unable to make the changes that you crave so badly but you have no control over… It’s happening because of the way your mind has been “programmed” to believe by your earlier life experiences. 

This happens in early childhood by observing other people of which your life then becomes an expression of their behavior, their words, their beliefs that they have often learned from their caretakers.  

When I work with the clients in hypnosis quite amazing things occur and it shows how fast, how powerful and how precisely the mind is working and connecting with the body. It’s like a computer, only smarter than that.

These are the three most common beliefs that pretty much cover all the personal variations.

• You can’t do the changes to have what you want… 

• It doesn’t belong to you… 

• There is something wrong with you... 

The most common belief my clients have is that “I’m not good enough and therefore I don’t deserve to have and do what I really want.”

The mind is only trying to keep you safe in the familiar and protect you from taking any “risks” dive into the unknown. The fear is keeping you stuck if you are not sure what are your big visions and what is that what you really want. Another issue can be that you can’t split them into doable daily tasks.

Or you have a subconscious block that is being triggered every time you try to move forward.

Your life is not controlled by the conscious mind but rather by the subconscious mind.

Even before you logically knew what you wanted and desired, your subconscious had already been programmed and habits had already been formed.

So how do you know what your programs are?

By doing the inner work and start removing and healing the old blocks and patterns. That helps you dive into the path of self-knowledge, self-acceptance and you will get the answers that offer you clarity and the freedom to be you, fulfill your real potential and make your wildest visions real.

95% of our life comes as a printout of our subconscious programming. 

Your life, your reality now is an expression of your mental programming; your thoughts and feelings that activate the beliefs related to anything in life. 

The things that have come into our lives easily are there because there is the right kind of empowering beliefs & stories related to them.

For example; I have a great belief that I always find special and amazing apartments and homes and I manifest them confidently.

This is something I created through trial and error, accidental manifestation. When I bought my first apartment I couldn’t find anything good in the price range. Time was an issue and I needed a new home. One night I scribbled a detailed list of features on my notebook and forgot it.

A year later I found the notebook and tears came to my eyes as I was living exactly in the apartment I had described, it was modern, penthouse, full of light. The path there was not that simple but all that effort I put into renovation was worth it.

I have personally had to work to improve all areas of my life by unblocking the subconscious that has hold me back in relationships, with my business, health, habits, and wellbeing.

What becomes available as you rewrite the beliefs and embody deeply your authentic, conscious desires and goals?

When you become aware of your thoughts, and feelings and learn how to connect this all with your mind, it becomes easy and really powerful. I teach all this in my Conscious Creator program (part of Embody Your Real Power membership)

• You are able to re-align your habits of thinking, feeling, and behaving so that you can take the right kind of action. 

• You open yourself up to receiving and feeling how you want and a new level of self-worth emerges as you know that what you want is available for you.  

• You are to do what you truly want without having that much resistance, struggle and fear that is again, only trying to keep you “safe” from the unknown. Our mind LOVES to keep us familiar in quite unbelievable ways, often affecting what happens in the body.

how to reprogram your subconscious mind & reinforce new beliefs: 

1. Become aware of what is the pattern you want to change and what you want to manifest, achieve or have. What are the negative beliefs you have running in your mind related to it? Write them all down.

2. Do a meditation, go deep in relaxation, and start looking back in your life. What are the memories related to these beliefs? What happened? From who did you learn these beliefs? Heal the situation like you wanted and needed it to go. Let go and forgive. This is pretty much a self-hypnosis.

3. Visualize the change in your mind. Journal about it. Feel how it feels when you have it. This is how you manifest new into your life. Just before you go to sleep and when you wake up, your mind is in a perfectly calm state.

4. Connect with your vision and repeat every night or morning.

5. To replace the old subconscious beliefs you need to rewrite them with the new beliefs. Spend 5- 10 minutes every day on each belief that you have and write a new self-empowering belief.

Your mind learns by repetition so this requires consistency, reinforcement, and repetition. The memories, powerful events or sometimes just little things (I know this from my hypnotherapy practice) from the past created the blocks and patterns so that’s why it’s necessary to heal the beliefs and limitations of the younger version of you. It can be a big trauma or just someone saying something that hits you in the wrong way.

In deep meditation or hypnotic state, you can access the root causes of emotional and mental patterns, behavior and the beliefs that are holding you back now and change them quickly.

Implement these methods into your daily routine, turn off the autopilot, and take back control to achieve your authentic goals and desires.

If you want and need help to break through the plateau, the blocks that are holding you back from your next level of success and happiness, I can help. In my practice, I combine hypnosis, subconscious energy healing work, psychology, mindfulness, high-performance habits, and transformational coaching.

If working harder is not an option for you… work with entrepreneurs, business leaders, and people who are ready to break the plateau and make the impossible possible. Start booking a complimentary Clarity call with here.

So now… I’d love to hear about your visions and how have you made them real! Were you able to recognize the tiny but mighty mindset shift that happened for you so you made it real with grace and ease?

Love Jenni x

Why Fake It Till You Make It doesn't work.

When I first started reprogramming my mind with the new positive beliefs by using affirmations and doing mirror work it felt so awkward to me.

Mirror work means that you watch yourself in the eyes and repeat the positive statements over and over again.

I already knew when we change the inside, our stories and beliefs, we become free to do and create what we want.

Our mind learns by repetition, but...

I felt nothing goes in, things that I say to myself won’t work like “I love you and accept you” felt like, yeah right. It didn’t feel much of anything.

I was afraid of my negative thoughts that naturally occurred were ruining all the work I had done. I was wondering if I did something wrong, didn’t say things to myself often enough, and that my negative thought patterns were unbreakable.

Soon I started feeling… maybe there was something wrong with me, thinking that I was never able to make the changes and have what I wanted.

However… My desires and needs were much bigger than my beliefs.

Just because I had seen other people having what I wanted; they had been able to break through their fears, jump off their corporate treadmills, and start their heart-based businesses that were based on their calling and passions.

I felt jealous of seeing others feeling content and able to enjoy their accomplishments. I envied people being completely accepted in their happy relationships.

And just because someone had done it, it gave me hope to keep going and knowing that I could have it too.

Even MORE than external accomplishments I wanted to stop repeating self-sabotaging cycles, feel calm and grounded, and good about myself inside - right there, knowing that I was enough and had done enough.

I had literally run since I was a little girl because I was always so busy and late. There were so many things to do and I was fast! But that anxious restlessness exhausted me for a long time.

Later I understood it was because I didn’t feel like I was belonging anywhere. That actually kept me constantly on the move and searching for something different, better- was actually a feeling that I was searching for.

Feeling that I am enough.

So before I was able to move forward and create what I wanted, I needed to know deep down in my gut that I am enough and worthy of receiving what I desired.

Affirmations and belief work are a powerful way to teach your mind to think better thoughts, change habits and create new patterns whether you want to expand your career, relationships, finances, or prepare yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work, like I did.

Before I became a Rapid Transformational Therapist and hypnotherapist over 3 years ago, I had already been helping my clients to change their unconscious blocks and patterns with my coaching methods years. But it took quite a long time and it was hard work, sometimes we were not knowing if it was the right thing we were working on.

As long as there are old patterns, mental or emotional blocks it is hard to step into your power and make those changes. The subconscious mind controls the beliefs and the mindset which defines what is available for us to manifest.

It either keeps you stuck in the painful comfort zone or lets you feel free to take action and expand.

So I was wondering if there were a better, more reliable, and faster method to access unconscious beliefs and release the root cause of it.

Then I met Marisa Peer in Los Angeles and was hypnotized for the first time. Her RTT method was the answer that I had been looking for. Since my training with her, I have used this incredible method successfully with hundreds of clients with so many different issues.

And for sure, I’ve used RTT to help myself to heal my own wounds, get over the fears, and create the fulfilling life that I now enjoy living.

I am on the mission to empower you and support you to know that you thrive through the crisis, get over the obstacles, and come out of this more resilient, more confident, and more powerful than ever.

If that’s what you want I am inviting a free full RTT “I’m enough” workshop and experience how does it feel to confidently know it and start fearlessly making the changes you crave.

* If you endlessly compare yourself to others and think of why you can’t have what they have...

* If you feel like invisible strings are pulling you back every time you try to move forward and make the changes...

* If you feel like there’s a pattern you recognize but you still are not able to change it...

* If your heart is saying, ‘It’s my time’...

There's only one belief you need.

Jenni xo

How to restore emotional balance and let go of anxiety and worries with journaling

Quarantine brings its undisclosed challenges.

The nervous systems for people are in overdrive.

Resistance to change, no sense of control and the fear of the future, worries of the health and finances can manifest in feelings of anger, anxiety and tension in our minds and bodies.  

It is completely natural to be anxious about the current situation. We dwell through the different phases of the crisis, collective, generational and personal trauma are activated.

And all that makes this the perfect time to heal it. 

Some people are facing big, obvious obstacles and some seem to be flowing through this successfully but feeling tremendous guilt about it, afraid of destroying their luck.  

Whatever you are going through I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you.    You haven’t manifested the obstacles or pain. It’s not your fault. 

I want to invite you to see it differently: this crisis is offering a possibility to transform your life big time, maybe in the ways you have wanted for a long while.

The triggers and obstacles you are personally facing now are showing you what is actually standing in your way. 

When you do the work and heal the core issues now, you can experience dramatic shifts already now and change the trajectory for your near future.

• Such as feeling happy and joyful instead of tense and anxious.

• Finding deeper intimacy in your relationship.

• Feeling more connected and fulfilled, being able to enjoy your accomplishments.

• Being confident about your possibilities to create and make the changes that you want and need to.

• Enjoying presence with your children.

What do you want your “new normal” look and feel like?

Throughout this crisis I’ve been offering the tools and practices that help you feel good, calm and connected daily in my Facebook group and with the free self-empowering mini-course.

When you do the work and heal the core issues now, you can experience dramatic shifts, get unstuck which will help you to change the trajectory of your near future. 

I want to support you and show you that you can do a lot to heal and empower yourself right now; get through these challenging times in the best ways and make this experience work for you.    

Today I want to share this wonderful practice of journaling for restoring your emotional balance.

Sometimes, when the anxiety or negative feeling take over, the breathing exercises and meditation are not always bringing the results you want. 

I want to share an amazing tool which will help you let go of tension, anger, frustrations, and fears in a healthy way so that you can feel calm, more connected and confident daily during this challenging time. 

In quarantine and lockdown - like in our normal busy lives - it is important to help yourself feel good and energized every day. 

Daily practice of journaling will help you feel connected with yourself, emotionally balanced, hopeful and energized.

I invite you to share your deepest thoughts in your journal, and take the first step to healing and connecting your ‘Foundational’ authentic self.

This practice will give you sense of relief in the mind and body, insights and opens the vault to the answers - and next steps that you have been craving for. 

We are naturally resistant, push away to negatives and avoid talking about the real pain and hurt we are feeling. It requires some courage to allow yourself to go deeper but I’m encouraging you to do so.

It’s easy to feel guilty, blame yourself for having the thoughts and feelings you have, and believe that there’s something wrong with you. It’s not true.

I want to gently and lovingly remind you, there’s nothing wrong with you for having those thoughts. Your shadow side is a natural part of you, and everyone else. 

When you listen to your mind and it’s chatter with honesty, you give yourself an opportunity to start healing and changing your thoughts and feelings, and the core reasons of the patterns that keep you stuck and looping. 

When you become aware of what is going on in your mind that’s already healing the tensions, energies in your body, your nervous system. 

Then you become free to act differently and start programming your mind to think better thoughts and feel more of good feelings. 

The words on the page give you access to the big picture and you will see how silly and untrue those beliefs and stories of the mind sometimes are.  

Create Clarity- How to journal

Pick up a pen, grab some paper. 

What is going on in your mind? 

Start journaling. Flowing out your thoughts, write them on the paper without limitations.

Let go of any anxiety, overwhelm and fears that you may be feeling. 

Write about the obstacles you are facing.  

Go into the details and let your pen speak your mind.

When you are done, start asking yourself questions: 

• How is this (your biggest issue) protecting me?

• What is the worst thing that could happen to me? 

• What is possible for you when you let go of this issue?

Journaling helps you bring clarity, feel calm and connected and become more aware of your patterns so you become free to change them. 

Your journal is your soundboard and trusted friend that loves to listen and see you as you are.

In my free mini-course you will learn the full empowering process of releasing and working with the anxieties and fears - and the related patterns. Get access here

How do you help yourself feel good and energized daily? Let me know your thoughts and comments below!

Love, Jenni

Feel like you need to fight, take a flight or freeze?

Working from home, taking care of the kids, household, home-schooling and being forced to stay inside with your loved ones who are trying to do the same IS chaotic and overwhelming.

Finding time for yourself, your work, self-care and handling all your responsibilities can be extremely difficult now. Even if you don't have kids.

Worries, fears and anxieties can take over. You might feel so drained and unmotivated.

You might feel that you need to fight or take a flight. Or freeze. 

It's okay to have all those feelings and feel exhausted.

We've been locked down for almost 4 full weeks now in Spain, so I can relate.

The first thing to do to change these feelings is:

Give yourself permission to feel those feelings and then, forgive yourself for having them. Accept where you are, right now. 

Also please, please, know that you are doing a lot (more than you know) and going through a lot.

I know work can be as demanding as it was before. If you have a family it can be that your bosses are not understanding your situation at home with the kids and that it's impossible to respond to those demands like before. 

I know how it works, I had over 13 years in the corporate world.

It could be that your business is under thread and you simply can't work right now.

I get that too! As an entrepreneur, I needed to sit down to create new offerings, strategy, and plans. After I dug myself out of the darkness I momentarily dropped, I created new ideas that I'm working on now and… they are actually super fun and I have no reason to avoid doing them anymore (you will see this in social media and my emails)!

I realized I thrive in challenging situations.

I've gone through so many drastic shift storms, so I know deep down in my gut that the obstacles are the way (you maybe want to check out the book by Ryan Holiday, it's quite fantastic) — I will always get up and get back on track, even when being a bit wounded. 

Like you too! You have gone through so many obstacles in your life that now it's time to remind yourself of the hardest ones!    

But it also means that I also need to calm, change my thoughts and re-connect with myself with breathing consciously multiple times a day by using the Clarity tools and habits to relieve the overwhelm daily! 

I am empowering myself to trust I will make my visions true while I have to prioritize how to use the very limited time I have for working, and self-care as I'm balancing all this with my husband, cooking, and child care. 

Instead of letting your inner stories overwhelm you and believe everything is falling apart, you can take responsibility for how you feel, what's happening around you and help yourself feel energized. 

Now it's not time to push yourself to do more but stop to see where you are and focus on self-care. 

That will make a HUGE difference in how you feel right now and release the anxiety, worries and overwhelm.  

Like my mentor Marisa Peer says:

You are in control and you can control your thoughts that are creating your feelings. 

That doesn’t mean to stop doing things but focusing on your needs; self-care, healthy, productive habits and using the tools that are helping you to create a structure for your days. So that you get things done more efficiently is helpful right now.

Looking into how you do things and helping yourself feel better, will give you more time and energy. 

To help you in this situation I have put together a list below of the resources to relieve the unwanted feelings and help you feel, calm and focused in this crisis - while trusting in your own abilities to get through this with high confidence.

Little action makes a huge difference and releases the negative energy from the body.  

Anytime when you hopeless, please remind yourself that this will pass!

We can get through almost anything just knowing that it doesn't last forever.

Get the free mini-course self-empowering tools and methods that will not only help you navigate through this feeling calm, focused and connected but create structure, healthy habits, self-care routines that you will benefit from forever!

Much love and courage,

Jenni

The best hacks to staying resilient, focused and productive in lockdown with your family

I know many people are struggling at home in quarantine feeling overwhelmed when they are not getting things done as they want and need to, just because they don’t get enough time for themselves!

Over the years I've been going through all the challenges that many have to face quickly right now so I know it's not easy at all when you have to spend a lot of time at home, take care of your kids, household and work while being with your loved ones in the same space, who are also trying to do the same.

I am an online entrepreneur and I've worked from home for the last 6 years. After I left corporate and started working for myself I needed to learn to lead myself in a whole new way.

It took a good amount of effort until I found the self-discipline, habits of high productivity and the planning tools that give me clarity and balance daily — without forgetting self-care, my daily routines and personal needs.

When I became a mother a little over a year ago, my time became incredibly limited and I was at home all the time. This crisis and locked down experience reminds me a lot about last spring.

I then needed to learn to plan things out even more carefully and work more efficiently. It was actually really good for me as I didn’t have time to procrastinate anymore or overthink things too much. I had to teach my inner high-achieving perfectionist to calm down and trust less doing and more focus would be more!

So I consciously aligned my habits and the ways I worked again, my productivity actually peaked and I got so much more things done in a short time.

It made me wonder what on earth did I do with all that time before I had a child.

Again, after my husband, Joonas quit his day job a couple of months ago we had to learn how to be together all the time.

It took a little practice for us but we were able to find the ways to agree on things in a new way, take care of the household and Stella as a team, and learn how to express ourselves and our needs and feelings better (big one!). This requires constant, daily discussions.

So now, to be honest, my daily life hasn't changed that much during the complete locked down. 

We are all forced to adjust to these sudden, shocking changes. There's no office to go, social interactions and daily transitions are not happening naturally. It can feel there's no place to escape and get a breather.

This, plus all the health concerns and the fear of the unknown future can cause a lot of stress and add up insecurities and anxiety - so please be very compassionate and gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.

I collected the best productivity hacks, tips, and habits that I have found to be mental, emotional and financial (we all have to make our income) lifesavers when you spend 24/7 with your family and work from home.

How to get things done and feel calm and productive when working from home:

1. Be present and feel good in the moments: Inhale “receive” & exhale “release" mantra every time you feel tension or fear pops up.

2. Meditate daily - 5 minutes does miracles. 

3. Agree the house rules and make a weekly schedule with your spouse. This should include:

   1. Work meetings and taking care of the house hold, groceries & meals. Now we need to prioritize a lot and be flexible.

   2. If you both work, agree when the other one is taking care of the kids and the other one can focus on work better.

   3. Make sure everyone gets some alone time daily.

4. Take a shower daily and dress up to get ready for work — this makes a big difference on how you feel.

5. Talk about your feelings with your loved ones. Sharing helps to release blocks and vulnerability connects people intimately. Listen to what your loved ones say to you! Just being heard and seen is most often enough helpful.

6. Plan your days: Including the breaks, mealtimes, exercise and decide when you stop working. Follow your daily plan. 

7. Cook healthy, yummy food. Enjoy and appreciate every bite. 

8. Move your body somehow (have a morning dance party or take online classes) - even a couple of minutes of movement is helpful and helps you let go of the excess energy.

9. Communicate your friends and family daily; thank goodness for the technology it fulfills our social needs <3

10. Consume news and social reasonably. It easily adds up more stress and anxiety.

11. Enjoy and appreciate the time you get to spend together. 

Remind of yourself daily that this too shall pass!

It is not possible to act normally as we did before in this situation - we have to align and adjust a lot. 

To see the positives, this crisis can be a possibility to get closer and more connected with your spouse. You may get some ideas with your career or business and actually this can be quite creative time, like transformations often are. Even it’s difficult and painful.

Now it's not time to push yourself forward but allow yourself to go through this experience and feel your feelings along the way.

With these tips and habit changes, you will help yourself feel good, which is the most important thing now. 

To help you actualize all this you can download my the Daily Life Planner page CLICK here.

It gives you structure and simple guidance on how to create a morning routine and plan out your days while staying productive and knowing you will get everything done.

Take really good care of yourself, rest and focus on going through this day by day.

Much love, Jenni

Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash - thank you so much!