Seeking to be understood: how to deal with emotional triggers

No matter how hard and more we try to explain ourselves or hope that they would understand us... it drives us crazy.

We want them to understand and wish they would appreciate us and value our efforts. 

Why do we get so triggered when someone is not understanding us?

"Being misunderstood brings up so many emotions because for the ego it’s rejection—It’s the original emotional abandonment most of us have experienced as children, who are desperately wanting to be seen, heard, + validated." - the Holistic Psychologist

Her recent post said this particular trauma cycle caused her anger and resentment. She wanted to hide and didn't feel safe in certain situations when she was putting her work out there.

I can relate to that 100%. When I saw her post, there was a huge light bulb hovering above my head as it showed me something so important of my childhood trauma I hadn’t realized. I was able to connect some of the important dots I had missed. 

Why we can't get over the common and understandable misunderstandings and just stay true to our own truth, stand in our power neutrally, with high self-appreciation and acceptance… is coming from childhood patterns and trauma.

Despite the fact that we would like to think so, it's NOT caused by your partner. Blaming others is always the easiest route we would like to take.  

The others mirror our beliefs and patterns.

They are there to purposefully show you what you need to be responsible of so that you can overcome the pattern:

* is then giving us an OPPORTUNITY to heal and change the patterns we are most often sucked in by our parents or caretakers.

* When there's an old emotional wound constantly showing that someone is not understanding us, it makes us feel that they are rejecting us.

* This wound triggers the same emotions as the unhealed trauma, experience or event. 

When we are not conscious of what is causing the trigger, we can't then help but attack, turn against them, defend ourselves and often start the blame cycle.

The child we still have inside us has never been able to heal, get the nurturing, loving understanding and validation she has desperately craved.

The anger, rage, and hurt are getting out of hands when the grown-ups are trying to fulfill their inner child’s emotional needs in the intimate relationships. 

To protect, to keep you safe from experiencing the old pain. 

The same cycles repeat in the relationship until someone, and as there are two in the relationship, chooses a different way and breaks the pattern. To step away from the ego tantrums and start healing herself, or the relationship is ended.

There's so much we can do for ourselves and then for our relationships.

If there is love and we are willing to work through the obstacles any patterns can be changed.

What two people need in any healthy relationship is vulnerability, boundaries, but mainly the ability to listen and be heard is helping a lot and shifts the dynamics quickly.

We only wish we would be seen, heard, validated and accepted as we are.

Can you appreciate yourself, listen to yourself and express your needs? Do you believe you deserve to be heard and validated?

When you learn to soothe your emotions and fulfill your own needs, you keep your cup full. Then you can give and receive love and attention unconditionally.

Much love, Jenni

Thank you Unsplash / Elia Pelligrini for the image.

Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

• Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

• Get out from your own way and emotions.

• Make changes consciously.

• Choose to behave differently.

• Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation. 

Related Course

6-weeks to becoming a Conscious Creator Online program

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Visualization workshop: Create your vision board and learn how to manifest your desires

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Do you think affirmations are not working for you? Learn how to use affirmations successfully 

Know Yourself Beyond the Thoughts

Last week I was in Greece at the Know Thyself retreat with Eckhart Tolle.

He is warm, compassionate and surprisingly funny. He is a weird and extremely wise human being, and yes, he still has an ego.

I didn’t really know what to expect from the retreat but my intention was to deepen my consciousness.

I have never taken fewer notes in a retreat or seminar than I did on this retreat. I have always taken a lot of notes but this time I wanted to stop focusing on my notes, over-achieving, and instead focus on being, breathing and allowing it soak in.

It was part of the practice and it worked well.

I got a great reminder of why I started doing the work I’m doing today. It all started from the present, through my own, not that gentle experience, of awakening.

With all acceptance of and detachment from my past, I have to say it could have been a lot easier if I hadn’t resisted the change so much but listened to my inner voice.

It’s very common for people to say life or universe, higher powers, god, however you call it, doesn’t want me to do or have this.

Or they think the universe needs them to go through something the hard way.

It’s not true, the limitless, abundant universe wants all the best for you.

Each and every moment we create our reality; the manifestations are based on our choices: from thoughts and feelings to reality.

Most people are just not conscious about it. They don’t want to stop to see it, as their unhappy repetitive stories keep them stuck in their minds and resisting their goodness.

I can relate.

For years I was waiting for the “sign” and the right time and in the meantime I kept suffering. I didn’t see there were signs all around me. It was roaring in my ears while I kept myself struggling.

I lived in denial without the ability to face the challenges and the feelings I felt, trying to shut down the calling and my desires to become a creator. It all made me feel that I was living a trapped life.

I learned that becoming aware of your thoughts and you can then recognize the mind patterns.

For me, spirituality means and is one important part of us, it’s part of humanness. It’s not a religion, nothing that someone has or hasn’t, it’s awareness about the essence of the self. It’s a key to happiness and contentment.

Once you become aware of the awareness, presence and the conditioned self, you become free.

It’s the learned old beliefs and emotional concepts that keep people in the cycle of self-sabotage.

To have a life you love, you have to create it consciously.

Getting over obstacles and challenges, that will never go away completely, becomes a lot easier when there is self-awareness and non-judgemental unconditional acceptance.

Acceptance (and forgiveness) is the key to releasing and changing anything. Accepting our situation, ourselves, and others are the keys leading to consciousness and sense of self - being you requires no time at all.

At any moment peace can be found in the presence, connecting with it by breathing and sense of self.

The more open we are to receiving, the easier it is to make good choices and put in the conscious effort that will open up more possibilities for us.

The answers and creative solutions can be found from stillness, behind the distracted mind.

Learn to listen.

Practice being present and learn the habits of becoming aware and connecting with the self. Life is not satisfying if the spaciousness is missing.

My biggest takeaway from the retreat was the “hurry slowly” practice that became part of my days.

I’ve been balancing between the high-intensity energy, creative bursts, that have kept me in the doing mode, thinking about the next thing in the future, and the total being mode when nothing happens.

Hurry slowly means that I consciously connect with the presence, checking my thoughts and feelings and the space behind it. I want to balance the yin-yang, push-pull feeling and bring more being and doing together.

How to do it?  

Set the timer and stop for a couple of minutes every hour to check in and do nothing, think nothing and just breathe.

Breathing, which is automatic and a gift itself, connects with the consciousness, our higher selves and the body.

You breathe is always with you. That’s the way to create more time too. There’s no time in presence. Or there’s as much time as you need.

We don’t have to be totally zen or aim to attain complete thoughtlessness or egolessness. Our mind also protects us, keeps us safe.

We don’t need to meditate hours daily, sacrifice our sleep, or over-achieve the spiritual practices, or do years of soul-searching.

Little things matter, you don’t need time to find the best version of yourself. It’s already there: you are here.

Connect behind the cacophony, and enjoy the yourself. You deserve goodness and happiness, now.

Becoming free from ourselves requires conscious awareness:

Learn to recognize your thoughts and feelings to let go of the past with unconditional acceptance.

Elevate your thinking, rise above the obvious.

Ask questions, don’t believe the old stories you tell yourself.

Get support.

When you are willing to change and are ready to heal, it will happen. What you want wants you.  

How can you deepen your consciousness? How could you listen to yourself better?

I’d love to hear from you! Ask questions, or comment below what habits or changes have worked for you!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. Sign up for my weekly newsletter and get more inspiration, practical spiritual guidance and free helpful resources here.

If you find this helpful, share with your friends!

Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

• When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

• You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

• You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

• Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

How To Make Confident Decisions

People would rather avoid making decisions (sometimes for years!) than think it through and face what they need to face. They don’t feel ready to make the decision that would take away all the pressure and move things forward quickly.

Indecisiveness is a very common habit. Yes, a habit.

It is based on self-doubt; insecurities; fear or lack of courage; and simply an inability to listen to the self and inner truth.

In more serious situations, it causes procrastination, anxiety, low self-image, addictions, and even suffering to others.

I remember when I was younger and hung out with my girlfriends. Together we discussed whether someone should send a text to her date or not; or if someone should stop dating a guy; or what that guy really meant by what he’d said. Or where the heck he disappeared to!

No one advised that we should just ask the guy, or even asked the girl what she thought would be the right thing for her to do.

And of course, it went on and on with almost everything: what to wear; or eat; what to do in life; and so forth. It was not really about giving empowering advice or allowing the one who was looking for help to decide for herself.

It was just endless comparison, which most often is based on the other person’s life views and experiences (often insecurities, jealousy, and disappointments). Usually, the one who everyone tried to help just felt more confused and indecisive.

Maybe you can relate to this?

The more people we ask, the more varying opinions we get. And the more lost we may feel.

Comparison destroys clarity and confidence.

What’s behind it

Often it’s a learned belief that others are more capable of making choices for them. Sometimes it’s a need to please and a conflicted way to earn love and acceptance.

Or they are afraid of judgment, of being seen as too bossy, ambitious, or powerful if they make confident decisions and know and express what they want.

There can be a deep fear of making mistakes or of failure.

However, we can fail and things can go terribly wrong just because decisions are not made early enough.

They feel they can gain more confidence and hide their insecurities by letting other people make decisions or listening to other’s opinions.

Some people struggle with making decisions because they don’t want to take responsibility for their lives and the results of their choices.

But no one else can make the right choices for you, no one knows better than you; it’s something you must do for yourself.

That’s why I usually advise that people only talk with someone who they trust and who will be wise enough to stay away from pushing their own opinions or agenda.

There’s a difference between helping someone to find their truth and telling them what they should do.

Letting other people make decisions for you means giving your power and control away.

Don’t give the lead in your life to others: everything in your life should be based on the choices you make.

With simple choices, it’s not that big a deal but with major life decisions, it’s dangerous.

Take initiative in your own life.  

Here are 10 key things I have learned about confidence:

1. Confidence is the ability to hear your ideas, thoughts, and feelings and trust them.

2. It is built through repeated acts of everyday courage to say yes and no.

3. It is an empowering feeling that replaces your existing habits of self-doubt and fear.

4. It’s not a fixed skill that some people have and some don’t. Everyone has fears and insecurities.

5. No problem or worry exists if you can do something about it. There are always solutions and possibilities. Trust and wait until you know.

6. When you change your behavior you change your mind(set), and your physics (energy) - those two things will start to change the situation.

7. Criticism, procrastination, self-doubt or victimizing all lead to lower confidence and decreased self-esteem.

8. Feelings are natural, but your behavior and thoughts are a choice - by changing your thoughts you can create more positive feelings.

9. Lack of clarity and self-control can feel like a confidence issue.

10. Practice your confidence and decision making skills by stopping shortly before you make any decisions. Ask yourself what is the right thing for you and then decide if it’s a YES or NO.

Sometimes “I don’t know” is a very good answer and you can take time until you know.  

Great decisions are always made when the heart, mind, and gut are connected.

Before you reach that point, quiet down and sit with yourself to get really clear on what you want and need:

• What is the question you need an answer to?

• How would you want things to go?

• What are the options?

• What feels right for you?

Recognize the feelings and fears. Are they really, absolutely true and worth holding on to? Stop listening to what the world says you should do. When you really think about it, you cannot know if your worst fear will come true, we cannot avoid risks.

Deep inside you know what you want.

Often the answer is an intuitive feeling, something that you have probably “known” all the time.

It’s okay if it feels a little intimidating, as that's when it’s usually right. Most often the best decisions come from doing the thing that scares you.

Nothing changes if you don’t change it. Life is unknown.

Expect the positive best outcome. Trust that everything always works for you.

Trust your gut and respect yourself by making your own decisions.  

To help you make the changes and decisions faster, I wanted to share my transformational, super relaxing courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

Click here to access this free meditation audio. To get more inspiration, join my weekly newsletter here.

Much love,

Jenni

How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations

Talk yourself into success and start consciously creating your life

We have all heard of affirmations: positive statements you repeat to yourself over and over. Their aim is to override old subconscious programming and change negative thought patterns and beliefs; in doing this, you set yourself free to do and achieve what you want, be it improving your health, career, relationships, finances or preparing yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work.

This is due to lack of specificity and knowledge of how to create affirmations that work personally for them in their specific situations.

Why affirmations may not work:

• You don’t fully believe in your goal or what you are saying to yourself.

• You’re using negative or future-oriented language in your affirmations, which is confusing to the mind which only operates in the present.  

• You are not aware of or paying attention to your mind’s objections.

• There is a subconscious block that is powerfully resisting the changes you desire.

• You don’t take the action that is needed to move forward.

To make affirmations work successfully, you need to first discover what thought patterns and objections you have. Thought patterns are based on past negative experiences that you hold in your mind. These are stored in your subconscious, which always affects your behavior, thoughts, feelings, and actions in different situations.

If you struggle in some area of life and feel that you can’t do what you want to do, then there are some learned limiting beliefs and subconscious blocks that keep you stuck in your situation. Luckily, we can release these self-limiting beliefs and blocks, and creating personal affirmations is one of the ways you can.

A Simple Exercise to Create Your Affirmations

Here's one simple exercise you can do to help reveal your limiting beliefs and create affirmations that work for you:

• Write your desire or goal down: what is it that you want to achieve?

• Get quiet and turn inward to listen.

• Ask yourself: why is it not possible?

• Write out all the objections your mind comes up with.

• Keep going until there aren't any objections coming up.

• When you have emptied your mind of objections, go through the statements and shift the sentences to positive.

• Use clear, authoritative, positive commands in the present tense: I feel, I can, I have, I am…

For example, say you want to elevate your career to the next level and find your dream job, but struggle with the habit of procrastination. You have all kinds of excuses as to why you don’t do the things you need to do (e.g., update your resume, make connections, etc.). For some reason, you keep yourself from following through with your plans.

To quit the habit of procrastination to find your dream job, you want to discover the self-limiting beliefs and emotional reasons behind the procrastination, and writing down the objections will show you these. You may think for instance, “What I want does not exist,” “It’s too risky to change jobs now,” “I’m not educated enough,” etc. All these self-limiting beliefs are raising inner fears: fear of the unknown, fear of success, or fear of failure.

When the subconscious objections come to the surface, you will often realize they are not true, and that already helps to release them. To empower your mind and believe new thoughts, create positive statements, such as: “I’m open for new possibilities,’” “It’s my time now,” “I have everything I need for my dream job.”     

Used consistently, affirmations will help you reprogram your mind and change your habits, which will change your reality.

How to use your affirmations:

• Repeat the affirmations consistently and daily, and write them down. It takes about 21 days to change any habit.

• Use your imagination to visualize and meditate on what you’re affirming — feel like you would if you already had what you’re affirming.

• Keep your affirmations where you can see them every day (phone, journal, Post-Its) so your mind has a better chance of accepting your new truth.

• Motivate and encourage yourself by remembering your desire and its purpose, the reason behind the reason—why it’s so important for you!

Affirmations are an incredibly powerful way to increase self-belief, courage and help you expand your life. Knowing what you want is the first step to having it—and simply convincing your mind that you can have it will help you change your habits and make it your reality.

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here!

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

What my burnout taught me

Last week, after DJ Avicii died, I watched the Netflix documentary about his last couple of years before he left the touring.  

It was sad to watch how he drove himself to exhaustion and how the look in his eyes changed from excitement to disconnection - like he was not there anymore. 

He couldn’t slow down to rest and heal, not even in the hospital where he sat on his bed working with his laptop all the time, bottles of coca-cola next two his bed and room filled with people, while he was talking with the team of doctors about serious health issues.

He tried to get some help and seemed to desperately get help while continuing touring and working 24/7 and only got deeper into the self-sabotaging cycle while his body was screaming all the warning signs.  

Alcohol, success, work, drugs, are great addictives taking the edge off the emotional and physical pain, numbing and blocking the way to understanding and allowing the healing to start.

Social media was blaming his manager who certainly focused only on making him more and more successful with any cost. But also Avicii himself, something inside him, drove and pushed him to achieve more and work harder. He couldn’t take any credits for his success and work.

He didn’t know what he really wanted to achieve and what would make him feel fulfilled. Nothing was enough, he was not enough.

Curse of publicity and overnight success? 

No, this is everyday life. 

Too many people struggle with the same disease and are driven by subconscious, unrecognized self-beliefs leading to extreme stress and exhaustion when they try to achieve and fulfill the never-ending external demands and requirements. 

His story touched me deeply because it brought up the vivid feelings about my own burnout.

I remember sitting on the beach and begging help from the universe, or anyone, so that I could feel calm, connected, and peaceful again. I couldn’t hear anything behind the cacophony in my mind.

Then the day came that I had been afraid of: After a one-day work trip to Paris, I dropped on the couch and couldn't get up. 

I had been scared, feeling so lonely, anxious, and panicky and I couldn’t sleep well anymore. I knew that I was dancing on the tightrope but this deep, dark fear had kept me going and escaping my reality and myself.

I had numbed myself with work, busyness, partying, alcohol, and smoking, and living the life that felt like somebody else’s life - it all felt meaningless. I felt so restless that I couldn't calm down to watch a movie, read, or be alone. 

On that day I understood I could either keep destroying myself - for nothing really - or take it seriously, get help, and help myself. 

It’s a dangerous - life-threatening - combination to feel extremely unworthy and believe that working more and harder and being better is the way to fulfillment, success, love, and acceptance.

When these inner drivers and false self-beliefs are on, there is no stop sign and we lose the control, and connection first with the feelings and then with the self - the most precious assets that we have.  

The first thing I did then was that I simplified my life and started changing my habits. I set clear boundaries and stopped putting everyone and everything else ahead my own needs and real desires. 

Sometimes it meant lying on the floor listening to jazz or sitting in complete silence starting out of window, which at first was scary and strange but as it felt right I did it.

I felt fragile and broken for quite a while, but I was able to save myself. It opened me up to a new level of sensitivity, which also meant I was not able to work as much as I did before - not a bad thing in the end! 

It was then when I found Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now opened my eyes to see things from a totally new perspective - it was a delicate but so powerful paradigm shift, and gave me the answers that I had been looking for a long time. The Art of Living in the Present Moment became the core of my life and a few years later my work.  

It was a blessing, like our challenges often are if we just learn to see them that way. I started the ten-year journey to spiritual and personal growth and healing. My drivers are now completely different and I'm on my mission to help everyone to become aware and understand that we all have the power, and a key to healing, happiness, and real success and well-being.

If you have have symptoms of burnout or if you are constantly exhausted, resentful and cynical about your future and your daily life - or if you are constantly sick or in pain - get help. It's not the way life should be and you can change it for better.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

Karlyn Borysenko: workplace bullying led to a book deal

In this episode of The Glad Show, I talk with Karlyn Borysenko, who is an organizational psychologist, owner, and principal of Zen Workplace.

We deep dive into her personal story and experiences about workplace bullying and how she got fired when it happened.

All that eventually led to finding her own company, signing 6-figure agreements and getting a book deal. We talk about fears, patience, humanity, and especially, how to get courageously started when you have an important message and mission that helps to change the world for better. 

She shares how she found her way out from the unhealthy environment, got in touch with her real passion and started helping organizations create healthier and happier work environments. 

There is so much more, so just dive in...

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

Once you've had a chance to watch or listen, please join us in the comments on the blog.

I'm curious and interested in hearing what resonated most with you on Karlyn’s story?

Specifically… I'd like to ask you: What kind of personal story do you want to write in the future?

Thank you so much for reading and watching, I really hope you enjoy the interview! If you like it please share with your friends and social media. 

 

P.S. later I contacted Karlyn to ask her advice on workplace bullying, what to do when it happens? And this is what she replied:

Get out. Seriously. Go find another job. Don’t go to HR, because they probably won’t help you. The person bullying you has probably bullied other people before and HR likely knows about it and hasn’t done anything about it. You want to go find somewhere that will value you and allow you to thrive. And know that you’re not crazy, you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s not a reflection of your value or what you can contribute to the organization, so don’t let it get to you. When you’re out of it and are in a place that appreciates you, you’ll be able to look back on the situation and see it for what it is. www.zenworkplace.com

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni

6 steps to break a worry habit

A while ago I noticed an unhealthy pattern had sneaked in my life. It was a reminisce of my years in the corporate world, but I hadn't felt it for years, and the old familiar feelings rang my health and wellness alarms.

I don't play with health or happiness anymore, so I looked into my habits (of thinking and behaving) to understand what was causing it and to know how to make changes:

I had a productive phase going on and I was producing a lot of new content. Long to-do list made me minimize the meditation and writing time in the mornings. I worked late and then stayed up late spending "my time" in Instagram and reading work-related books and articles late in the bed.

It was hard to get up in the mornings as I was awake at some point during the nights. I felt tired in the middle of the day. To keep myself going, I had started drinking coffee on the afternoon. I felt tired and wired at the same time.   

I was overdriving myself so that at the end of the week my brain was foggy and my body was over-heated, meaning I felt the blood pressure and cortisol levels were high.

I told myself it's temporary (and at the same time I was afraid it was not) and then I stopped: I don't want to do it this way, no matter what it is - I have a choice.

When I saw all these things and it was clear: I was suffering adrenaline fatigue. I lacked downtime and boundaries. 

In yoga, there is a rule that after an inversion pose it's good to rest the same amount of the time that you have been upside down. 

The same rule works in life: during the busier times, it's important to recharge the batteries - physically and mentally - all the time.

Creativity and productivity - both - require space and time. It's tough to create new ideas and be focused when your mind is full. 

What I did to fix it: 

The moment when I realized what was going on, I wanted to take responsibility for it.

I did the clarity exercise below and reduced all the unnecessary worries - there were not that much left after it - I felt at ease. 

Also, I booked time for acupuncture, scheduled a sweaty yoga class, took a herbal path and did nothing but relaxing for a couple of days - I planned time to relax. I observed my mind carefully and skipped everything that was too overwhelming and making my brain buzzing. I changed the bedtime routines: no more mobile time or work-related reading. Instyle magazine makes me snooze in five minutes. 

In the long run, adrenaline fatigue can create diseases as the body responses to mind’s constant overwhelm negative chatter and requirements.
 

Get to know your stress-factors and know your habits:

• What habits of yours do you like, why?

• What habits do you want to change? 

We need to keep track of our habits and know how they affect us - it can be very unconscious. If we don’t know what is creating the stress, we can’t react and respond it.

6 steps to releasing the stressful chaos and worries:

Take a pen and paper or open your notebook, and start answering the following questions:

1. How do I feel now - in the body and mind?  

2. What issues are stressing you and causing this feeling? Write them all down no matter it's 99 issues and worries. 

3. What are the worries that you can't do anything about? The future is not in your hands, the now is.

4. What can you do to your list? Prioritize them. 

5. Plan how and when you get those things done (please don’t overplan and exhaust yourself as you can do only three foremost things per day).

6. Ask yourself why have you chosen to do it? Remind yourself about your what you accomplish when you get there and finish the sentence:
    
   “I am doing this because…” and decide to be excited about it. You need to decide it if you don't feel it.

There you go - now you have a clear plan and you know it's doable and you can affect.

This gives you the motivation, as we all have to eat our shit sandwich as Elizabeth Gilbert calls it: no matter we follow our passions, we still need to do the work, and often it's challenging. 

When you choose to struggle for the things that matter to you and are important, it's not that bad at all as you know it is meaningful to you.   

The worrying thoughts won’t take away tomorrow’s problems, but they will take away today’s joy. 

If you liked this post, please share it, tweet it, pin it, like it!

With love,
Jenni

HOW TO GET STARTED, FACE YOUR FEARS AND MAKE THINGS HAPPEN

5 ways to get over the resistance and fears

Often we know exactly what we could do in order to get there, but something just keeps us stuck.

Often we don't even know what it is or WHY we are preventing us from moving forward and receiving what’s on the other side of it, so we just stay stuck.

And it can be so frustrating that you eventually start believing you can’t have or do what you really really desire.

The more we struggle against our inner voice and calling, more frustrated and stuck we feel...

Usually, we are the ones who are standing in the way of our own happiness and success.

And usually, it’s fear that is hiding behind of those aims, desires, strategies and plans that never happen because you are not able to take action.

There are all kinds of fears:

• fear of happiness

• fear of success

• fear of failure

• fear of unknown

• fear of what other people think if you start doing what you really want

• fear of commitment

• fear of not being good enough

• fear of receiving... what we actually want: success, happiness, abundance, money

• fear of what’s happening on the other side of the fear, the unknown

What’s yours?

If you take action based on fear and think it’s not going to work out, it probably won’t!

There are 3 beliefs that are the root of these fears:

1. I can’t have what I want, it’s not available for me

2. I’m not good enough, loved, worthy or deserving to want, have, or do what I want

3. It feels unsafe as it’s new; unfamiliar

Most of these beliefs are buried in the unconscious and that’s why the brain wants to keep us “safe and protected” no matter what it’s so brilliant it figures out the way how to hold us back: procrastination, emotional eating, anxiety, avoidance, you feel you are never ready or have enough knowledge but continuously need more proof, certificates, self-work… I know, I know!

To change this we need to become aware of the reason behind the reason and learn the techniques how to face our fears, resistance and other related emotions and empower our brain to trust and believe better thoughts and feel good about our aims and goals.

These are so powerful beliefs and keep so many people unhappily stuck exactly where they are.

No matter they want to live and build the life and career of their dreams, in their own terms, they can’t help but let their fears prevent them to live to the fullest. Eventually, they just want to give up and satisfy less and stick with their limiting beliefs. I don't want that to happen to you!

watch the video below and learn how to do it.

grab your notebook:

1) Look within: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT MOST RIGHT NOW?

Write down all max. five things that have been bugging you on your "should do/be/have" list. Write down the things that you have resisted most.

It can be about creating clients, finding a new job, asking for more money, starting blog, a website, writing an article, creating a course, developing yourself somehow, taking the first action step... 

2) prioritize

Make a list and pick one. Don't start contemplating too much in between the options, you can do them all but you need to start one thing at the time. Make it easy, do one thing at time. What would help you move forward fastest?

3) FEEL IT: face the fear, the resistance

What are the thoughts and feelings related to this desire or goal? Write them down. Accept how you feel and approve it’s there: just witness it there.

Your brain and your body are sending you a message of what you need to become aware of.

Is this thought helpful: is it real and is it true?

How does this thought or fear help you or prevent you?

Can you change this thought to an empowering one and support yourself that way?

Has someone else someway done what you want to do? That gives your brain an indication it is possible. Yes?

4) TAKE ACTION

What is the first step to getting ahead with it? Baby steps, write your actions steps down. Schedule it in your calendar. Decide you are going to do it and it’s going to work for you no matter what. How would you feel when you have done it? Write it down.

Taking action from the place of trusting and believing it’s going to work for you will bring you the results you want.

Taking action by feeling your feelings behind the fear and resistance is the only way to get over yourself.

From that place you will create a personal breakthrough, as you feel more empowered and you have your energy aligned with success.

When you learn to do manage your thoughts and feelings so you CAN follow through, you will see how changes start happening. This is really about creating a momentum.

Your courage will grow and - and no matter the fears will never totally leave us (they are keeping us safe in the end)  - we can learn how to use them as guidance and release those unconscious inner blocks that really are the only thing keeping us stuck and struggling.

Is this helpful? Let me know below!

Much Love, Jenni

Hypnotherapy - the way to make fast changes

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is a state of relaxed focus, it is a natural state, which in hypnotherapy session is created intentionally by following the systematic methods. 

How does it feel like being in hypnosis?

There is nothing mystical or woo-woo related to hypnosis: you already know how it feels like. Each of us enters such a state at least twice a day - it’s the same pleasant, dreamlike state when you fall asleep and waking up, daydreaming or just being in a relaxed state, “zoned out” in your own world. This also happens when you are focused on doing something you enjoy or something monotonic or you reach the flow state: when you are running, driving, listening to the music, drawing, watching the horizon, the view or the waves on the beach.

Hypnosis is a state of concentration where you are totally present with yourself and open to messages about breaking habits or making changes that are limiting or threatening your health and wellness now.

As a long-time meditator, I see hypnosis as a technique that takes a person to the timeless state that most people, who are practicing meditation, are looking for: a heightened awareness and focus. 

What you need to know about hypnosis

• You are in control at all times.

• You are aware of what is happening and where you are.

• You can only be encouraged to do what you want to do. Hypnosis works with your will, morals, and ethics - not against it.

• While you are in hypnosis, you can talk and you will have a conversation with your therapist. 

Many people I have worked with have suspected they probably cannot be hypnotized but they have all been very suggestible. You can be taken into hypnosis easily, as long as you wish to.

What is hypnotherapy and why it works

Hypnotherapy is a therapeutic technique that is used to create subconscious change in a client in the form of new responses, thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, feelings or changing in other positive ways.

Hypnotherapy uses the power of the mind and impacts on it in hypnosis. It is a process that enables new patterns of behavior

Among its uses include motivation and confidence, pain control, infertility, birth, weight, insomnia, anxiety, depression, exams, addictions, public speaking, fears, phobias and sports psychology. All these conditions can create physical issues and RTT offers a solution to both physical and mental improvements.

Using hypnosis, you can become a non-smoker, reduce your weight, increase your confidence and self-esteem, beat phobias, pass exams, sleep like a baby, be healthy and fit, boost your motivation to achieve your goals, relax more, be calmer and present, reduce or stop drinking, enhance your performance at work and playing sports, heal quickly, give birth naturally, solve problems, have better relationships, and much more. 

It is both stimulating, effective, empowering and very relaxing. You will already leave the first session feeling empowered, transformed, energized and positive.

We can't really control what is happening in the future but we can affect it a lot, set the positive expectations for the future and hypnotherapy is certainly a way to release what is holding us stuck and keep us struggling now.

Rapid Transformation Therapy 

I studied personally with the world-renowned therapist, speaker, and best-selling author Marisa Peer. Her method, Rapid Transformation Therapy (RTT) is a powerful therapeutic modality, which has been developed by Marisa over the past 30 years.

RTT goes beyond traditional hypnotherapy helping clients release the physical and mental issues usually only in 1-3 sessions. RTT embraces many of the positive aspects of hypnosis and hypnotherapy that are known to produce a transformative effect on clients: the use of trance, regression and hypnotic conditioning.

Among its uses include motivation and confidence, pain control, infertility, birth, weight, sugar, insomnia, anxiety, depression, exams, addictions, public speaking, fears, stressful situations, phobias and sports psychology.

All these conditions can create physical issues, and RTT offers a solution to both physical and mental improvements and targets the three ways the mind works:

1. The mind does what you really think you want it to do: every habit of action is run by a habit of thought.

2. The mind responses to pictures it creates based on the repeated words and thoughts.

3. The mind is wired to be safe and wants to stay in familiar.

When the thoughts and the words are changed, the action and behavior changes in conscious and subconscious mind.

The possibilities are as limitless as your imagination!

If you want to feel happy and relaxed, hypnosis is offering a way to treat the causes of unwanted behavior, stress, and struggle. Once the cause is identified and dealt with, the behavior can change.

What to expect in the first session?

1. I will explain what hypnosis is and the theory of the mind

2. We will discuss the issue that you want to treat

3. We will do the hypnosis

4. You will get your personalized audio to listen at home

5. We will book a time for a follow-up session

IS HYPNOTHERAPY FOR YOU?

You must have a desire and dedication to be open for the changes you want to see in your life. You also understand that making long-lasting habitual and behavioral changes takes at about 21 days you will need to listen to your personalized audio for the next 3-4 weeks. When these three things are met, hypnotherapy has the highest success rate.

HOW you can work WITH ME

The initial session takes 2-hours, follow-up sessions are an hour long.

Coaching Therapy is a combination of transformation therapy and coaching is a one-six week long personalized program. This and all the other coaching commitments only via consultation calls as we want to make sure that you understand that there is work to be done outside of sessions.

The first online session including a follow-up call is $390

Follow-up session is $190

I meet most of my clients online via video calls, which gives me a possibility to work with people all around the world. I do have a private practice in Manhattan, New York.

BOOK YOUR FIRST APPOINTMENT OR TIME FOR INITIAL CONSULTATION VIA THE LINK BELOW. Or if you have any questions, just send us an email at info@jenniglad.com.

YOUR FREE 15-minute initial CONSULTATION: You can ask any questions that you might have and we will talk about your concern and how hypnosis can help you and what do you want to address and change. I will ask some questions to gain clarity and insight into your experience.

MEMBER OF AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF PROFESSIONAL HYPNOTHERAPISTS

Happiness equals success - video blog

Believe me, there was a time (actually a few decades) when I didn't really like Mondays (or sundays). 

I ruined the half of my weekend thinking about Monday and I felt stressed out about the coming work week.

I often worked on Sunday evenings to make the next week easier. There were always so much to do and I felt like I never got anything finished as there were always something new coming up. Yes, there is a reason why it is called rat race. I kept doing what I thought I should do instead of thinking what I wanted and desired. I chased some kind of gold shiny objects and believed, it would eventually make me happy.

Now when I've been out of the corporate world for five years it's clear why I felt so miserable and anxious then.

I missed the crucial feelings of fulfillment. Stress and busyness had numbed me. My work didn't feel meaningful and work is a crucial part of our lives, as we all know. We need to do what we like.

We need to do what we like.

For a very long time, I believed success create happiness. 

It's a common belief that makes many people miserable. We have learned that we should be rewarded for the hard work and often people sacrifice their own happiness/health/wellness for doing the things they don't even like, but believing happiness is the reward of the hard work and sacrifices.

The big secret is: happiness is a key to success. 

By changing this belief I got clarity and was able to make the exit plan from the business world and started creating the life I truly wanted.

Watch the video and learn what you can do to improve your happiness today:

 

We create change by cultivating the art of presence, making conscious choices, shifting our mindset and making steady, constant improvements towards our goals - that is how you can create a happy life.

I have created a Mindful Living method based on my life-changing tools: seven practical tools for mindful living. Click to get access to this FREE 7-series video course. 

How has it been for you - let me know in the comments below. What does success mean to you? Have you found the balance between success and happiness? How did you make the change?

There is no right answer to these things and I am eager to hear your experience in the comments below :)

Much love, Jenni

My review of 2016 with 12 life lessons

Like every year, I did my annual review of 2016 this week. When I read my notes and journals, it feels that I was being tested, dancing all year on my tippy toes, falling and getting up more than 12 times as there was some kind of drama involved in every month.  

The 12 life lessons from 2016:

1) Leave proper goodbyes for the past regularly (no need to stick with the new year cycle) and make clear decisions and choose what you want, dare to ask for more but focus only a few things at the time.

2) Our greatest achievements are born when we are following our inner leads and passion. Not the others, the rules or the books. Learn the lessons and do it in your own way.

3) Following our passions and dreams can be easy. We don’t need to make it so damn hard. 

4) Burn the boats. Make things happen but plan B's put your plans on hold and prevent the progress if you are focusing on “what ifs.” When you set your desires, make sure you believe in them and in yourself. Make changes along the way.

5) The only way to get over the fear of failure and perfectionism is to do it anyway. See the fear, feel the fear and then - just do it. You will take a big leap towards your visions.

6) Learn from your fears. Don’t stand in the way of your own success. Find the root cause and do the work to release the old beliefs and patterns. It’s the only way to making the real, long-lasting change and preventing you repeating the same old.

7) It is an illusion to believe everything is under control. You can’t live for the future, live in the now and make better choices.

8) Relationships can be defined by the quality of communication. It’s not about them, it’s about you.

9) When you take responsibility for your thoughts, words, behavior - you will take responsibility for your life (and may lead it).

10) If something or someone doesn’t feel good, walk away (nicely). Trust your guts and save everyone’s time and energy.

11) Don’t try harder, try different. No matter you feel like you have failed, change things and move forward. 

12) Learn to relax and feel more - take the time to meditate, think and connect with yourself. It's not a luxury, it's the way to feel more happiness.

Happy, Bold 2017 - it's time to make those visions true! I  have no doubt, it will be exceptional, like never before.

Love, Jenni