What my burnout taught me

Last week, after DJ Avicii died, I watched the Netflix documentary about his last couple of years before he left the touring.  

It was sad to watch how he drove himself to exhaustion and how the look in his eyes changed from excitement to disconnection - like he was not there anymore. 

He couldn’t slow down to rest and heal, not even in the hospital where he sat on his bed working with his laptop all the time, bottles of coca-cola next two his bed and room filled with people, while he was talking with the team of doctors about serious health issues.

He tried to get some help and seemed to desperately get help while continuing touring and working 24/7 and only got deeper into the self-sabotaging cycle while his body was screaming all the warning signs.  

Alcohol, success, work, drugs, are great addictives taking the edge off the emotional and physical pain, numbing and blocking the way to understanding and allowing the healing to start.

Social media was blaming his manager who certainly focused only on making him more and more successful with any cost. But also Avicii himself, something inside him, drove and pushed him to achieve more and work harder. He couldn’t take any credits for his success and work.

He didn’t know what he really wanted to achieve and what would make him feel fulfilled. Nothing was enough, he was not enough.

Curse of publicity and overnight success? 

No, this is everyday life. 

Too many people struggle with the same disease and are driven by subconscious, unrecognized self-beliefs leading to extreme stress and exhaustion when they try to achieve and fulfill the never-ending external demands and requirements. 

His story touched me deeply because it brought up the vivid feelings about my own burnout.

I remember sitting on the beach and begging help from the universe, or anyone, so that I could feel calm, connected, and peaceful again. I couldn’t hear anything behind the cacophony in my mind.

Then the day came that I had been afraid of: After a one-day work trip to Paris, I dropped on the couch and couldn't get up. 

I had been scared, feeling so lonely, anxious, and panicky and I couldn’t sleep well anymore. I knew that I was dancing on the tightrope but this deep, dark fear had kept me going and escaping my reality and myself.

I had numbed myself with work, busyness, partying, alcohol, and smoking, and living the life that felt like somebody else’s life - it all felt meaningless. I felt so restless that I couldn't calm down to watch a movie, read, or be alone. 

On that day I understood I could either keep destroying myself - for nothing really - or take it seriously, get help, and help myself. 

It’s a dangerous - life-threatening - combination to feel extremely unworthy and believe that working more and harder and being better is the way to fulfillment, success, love, and acceptance.

When these inner drivers and false self-beliefs are on, there is no stop sign and we lose the control, and connection first with the feelings and then with the self - the most precious assets that we have.  

The first thing I did then was that I simplified my life and started changing my habits. I set clear boundaries and stopped putting everyone and everything else ahead my own needs and real desires. 

Sometimes it meant lying on the floor listening to jazz or sitting in complete silence starting out of window, which at first was scary and strange but as it felt right I did it.

I felt fragile and broken for quite a while, but I was able to save myself. It opened me up to a new level of sensitivity, which also meant I was not able to work as much as I did before - not a bad thing in the end! 

It was then when I found Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now opened my eyes to see things from a totally new perspective - it was a delicate but so powerful paradigm shift, and gave me the answers that I had been looking for a long time. The Art of Living in the Present Moment became the core of my life and a few years later my work.  

It was a blessing, like our challenges often are if we just learn to see them that way. I started the ten-year journey to spiritual and personal growth and healing. My drivers are now completely different and I'm on my mission to help everyone to become aware and understand that we all have the power, and a key to healing, happiness, and real success and well-being.

If you have have symptoms of burnout or if you are constantly exhausted, resentful and cynical about your future and your daily life - or if you are constantly sick or in pain - get help. It's not the way life should be and you can change it for better.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

The Glad Show with Dr. Laura Brayton: The birth of a mother

What to expect and how to prepare your business and yourself to motherhood 

Dr. Laura Brayton is a holistic chiropractor, author, and speaker, she is extremely passionate about supporting the health and wellness of families. Dr. Brayton writes on health-related topics and is a lecturer for various holistic groups, including childbirth education centers, and new moms’ groups.

She has a podcast called “Well-Adjusted Mama” to educate and to empower women preconception through early motherhood on wellness lifestyle. In September 2017, she gave birth to her son, Finley, in the most amazing experience of her life.

Many women contemplate and hesitate how to have and manage it all: maintain a successful career, business, and relationship while becoming a mother while knowing life will change completely with the baby. 

Becoming a mother is an identity shift, one of the most significant physical and psychological changes women ever go through. 

The inner and outer expectations are often too high and unrealistic, which makes the whole process even harder if women don't have enough information on how to make right decisions for themselves, insight into emotions and what kind of challenges to prepare before and after the birth. 

On this episode, Laura is sharing what she has learned with working with women and new moms during over 13 years and her own experiences and challenges she faced with becoming a mother.  

• What most women don't know when they step into motherhood

• Why it's important to face the inner fears and learn how to let go of them already in the pre-conception phase

• How to deal with the comparison, guilt, shame, and frustrations when things are not going as planned

• How to let go of unrealistic expectations of the ideal, perfect mother

• The key things to staying well, centered, and the secret to handling it all

• The business strategy, financial planning, and preparations for the maternity leave

Watch the interview here

Listen to the audio here

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you!

Feel free to ask questions or share your own experience on this important topic in the comments below!

This episode is great for anyone interested in what women go through before and after becoming a mother and how to prepare for it holistically.

If you know anyone who would love this episode, please share online and with your friends!

Read more about Laura’s work at http://drlaurabrayton.com/

Love, 
Jenni

P.S. To get the updates and free resources in your inbox weekly, sign up to get my newsletter here 

Do you want to change your morning habits? Here's how to do it.

There are tons of self-help books that tell us how to create a successful and super-productive day.

We should wake-up very early, get up like a space rocket, stop snoozing, follow the 5-second rule, do yoga, exercise, get into action right away, meditate, journal, eat healthy, have a large breakfast, plan and visualize our days, listen to something inspirational, set the mindset, use affirmations…

Most of us don’t have the time to do that every day. Most people don’t even try, as all this feels so overwhelming. 

But, it does matter a great deal, what do you do right after you wake-up.

How to change your habits and create a morning routine?

Start with your shoulds.

Before you try change your morning routines: question your "shoulds":

"I should get up earlier, I should do more yoga, I shouldn't read my emails first thing in the morning, or go to social media…"

Remove the word should from your vocabulary.

It’s not really leading to any action but only causing unnecessary self-blame and judgment, especially if you don't even intend to do anything about it. Those shoulds are just habits of thinking.

Maybe it’s not your thing to do yoga or the ther shoulds in the mornings, maybe it's not fitting with your lifestyle right now? And that is completely fine.

If that’s the case, please give yourself a break and let go -- put it on your back burner list or forget it. Or, maybe the evening is working better for you?

If you don't have the motivation and knowledge why you want to make the effort to create a new habit, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever start. It's waste of energy to carry that idea with you.

Ask yourself why you don't do what you want to do?

What's coming up?

We are so used to our thinking patterns, habits, and behavior that we don't see them until we stop to see them. 

You can change your habits when you are aware of what needs to be changed. 

Start trying what feels good for you - bring new routines and habits into your mornings one by one. 

Here's my golden advice how to have successful mornings and days.

It’s not a secret, but something most people don’t get and don't even do, it takes 5 minutes: 

You win your morning by planning it the night before.  

What time you wake-up and what do you do right after. 

Also, you can start your days again anytime. 

Sometimes I start my days four times per day. I then do a little cleansing meditation, align my feelings and thoughts for the next activities. This saves nerves (literally) and keep the energy steady and flowing every day.

To hep you get started I have created an amazing guide to learn about the daily routines and success habits that help you get things done and feel good about yourself every day.

DOWNLOAD The 7 Essential Daily Habits and Routines to Leading Your Life Towards
Your Desires and Visions here >>

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. I would love to hear from you! If you have any questions, you can just send me an email. 

Boosting your courage is a key to clarity

Too many people shy away from using their real potential, going after their dreams, and passions just because they lack courage and don't believe in themselves enough.

A big part of my clients come to me with the confidence and self-esteem issues. They know that it's them who are somehow standing in their own way. 

They want to find what keeps them stuck and how to get courage and clarity they lack. 

They want to start their business, write their books, use their creative talents, have healthy relationships, find a new job - be independent financially and mentally.

In the end it's about feeling free to be who they truly are and do what they love!

If you are not doing what is important and meaningful to you, it’s pretty much impossible to live fulfilled, happy life. 

Quite often they believe there’s something wrong with them, which is not true. 

The lack of courage, self-doubt and self-criticism hold the invisible curtain in their mind, blocking the needed clarity and direction. 

It’s difficult to see things objectively and create a big picture and take action if the negative self-talk and learned beliefs have taken the control.

This is the source of frustrations, insecurities, and anxiety, that only makes you feel more stuck.  

Increasing courage and self-esteem is a key to healing this. 

How to do this?

Get clear of the language that you use when you talk to yourself and others (critical people are extremely harsh on themselves) and start re-wiring your mind by using affirmations and talking to yourself in encouraging, kind and gentle ways. Train your mind!  

I promise you will see a difference in you and the results you get in a short time! 

To help you make the changes faster, I wanted to share my transformational, courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and find that determination and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

 

Jenni xo

P.S. Courage and Confidence is part of the Conscious Creator Program and enrolment to this life-changing program is open now! 

Before you go…

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here.
 

Photo by Vladimir Kudinov http://www.vladimirkudinov.com/

My 2018 Manifesto

2017 was like a year-long holistic detox for me.

There were so many life lessons, so much change and a lot of work. I took a massive leap in many areas of life by turning inward, opening my awareness and standing up in a new way. 

It is time to construct and create a new, steadier foundation. This manifesto is the key to it.

My 2018 manifesto: 

• Do my things, work, and business in my way - less by the book or how it’s “supposed” to be done. 
• Focus on feeling good - release tension and set an intention, at every moment. 
• Trust my gut and intuition. 
• Care, try, and think less - focus on doing more and following through.
• Bend time, not myself - stay rooted.
• Choose carefully who I work with. 
• Work smarter, not harder. 
• Let go of the need to control the things that I can’t affect (there must be an endpoint for this).
• Embrace my personal needs, my body, my health and wellbeing (after struggling with physical issues and going through pretty dark times mentally I am now feeling so healthy and well that I can’t appreciate it more). 
• Be powerful, vulnerable me and speak my truth. 

External abundance, results, and achievements follow when we keep our visions clear and stay internally aligned - and courageously walk towards them.

New Year, New Feel, New Chances, Same Dreams, Fresh Starts.

How about you - what are your commitments for this year?

If you like this, share with your friends!

You can get more inspiration, free content, and ideas for creative living by downloading my free guide The 7 Habits and Rituals to Feel Calm, Connected and Energized Every Day.

Love,
Jenni

If You Crave Change Read These Books

All these books are quite different but in the end, they're all about the life views, and beliefs, forcing us to question the habits of thinking and behaving. 

1. Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown.
The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. About speaking your Truth and recognizing your own value. "The foundation of courage is vulnerability."

2. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
For recognizing the upper limit problems (this is a fascinating concept) and knowing your zone of genius. 

3. Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.
"The four tendencies" Understanding my tendency has been invaluable to me. "To shape our habits successfully we must know ourselves."

4. High-Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard.
These researched habits are pure gold. I rarely read business self-help books and don't really talk about high performance as it has sounded cold to me. But I changed my mind when I read this book. It is all about human performance.

5. Inward by Yung Pueblo.
There is so much wisdom here. His Instagram page is fantastic, full of spiritual poems. "I gathered my habits and started releasing the ones that can never lead me to lasting freedom and joy."  
6. Loving what is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie. 
Find solutions to complicated situations, get clarity on relationships, and change the harmful beliefs and self-limiting stories. I have used the Work personally and with my clients for years. “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”

You create your habits and your habits create your life. 

I hope you find this list useful!

 

If you want more and practical guidance, sign up to get access to my free guide: 
 

The 7 Habits and Daily Rituals to Feel Calm, Connected and Energized Every Day
 

If you know anyone who needs inspiring books about personal and spiritual growth, share this post.

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

Do this to keep your New Year's resolutions

Have you made big promises, visions and life goals for the New Year?

I’m happy if you did! It’s a great way to make positive changes. 

You probably committed yourself to exercise more, save money, learn a new skill, land a new job and get the next step of your career going, manage your time or stress better, be healthier, change bad habits, improve relationships or you just want to become a better person...

In general, these things make us happier.

Unfortunately, it’s rare for people to keep their resolutions. Approximately 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.  

It’s painful to realize that what you are trying to do is not working. 

It can feel like you are standing in the way of your own happiness and success. Even strong willpower doesn’t work and it’s definitely not fun anymore.

here are the common reasons why people fail to accomplish their goals and resolutions:

• they set too high and unrealistic expectations and goals (we can’t have everything at once and change faster than we are ready for).

• they are not explicit about their desires and goals (the detail is needed).

• they don’t plan how to make it happen.

• they lack real motivation and commitment.

These reasons are very logical. But the real reason why people fail to accomplish their goals and resolutions is not based on logic. 

It's because your mind is wired to your old habits of thinking, feeling and behaving.

Your feelings and (often) unconscious patterns always beat the logic and willpower of your conscious mind.

Your subconscious mind rules your world 95%.   

That's what keeps you in your familiar comfort zone, no matter that it’s painful and you really, really want to move forward!

It’s your self-limiting beliefs that keep you repeating the old patterns and habits that are not making you happy any more.

There might even be a firm belief that you are not able to change or that you deserve the better, happier life. Or even worse, that you are not worthy of it.

This is the reason why diets, saving or making more money, personal development plans and exercise programs, and resolutions in general, won’t work. That is until you change your subconscious programming, i.e. your beliefs and thoughts, and get a clear vision of how you want to change and also connect deeply to how it will feel when you have reached your goal.

Successful resolutions and goals require: 

1. A clear, detailed goal you commit yourself to.

2. Facing and then changing your self-limiting beliefs and stories.

3. Bringing light to your inner objections and patterns.

4. Time.

5. Consistency; don’t give up when you face obstacles.

6. Using visualization (your imagination) to empower and motivate yourself to see your goal in your mind and believe it.

7. Create a plan and take small steps towards your goal on a daily or weekly basis.

8. Focus on doing and being present today; let go of the obsession with the outcome and know it’s happening.

By following these steps you will set yourself up for success.

To help you change your subconscious blocks and self-limiting stories you can download my free workbook here.

Leave a comment below telling me your thoughts on what has or hasn’t been working for you with your own resolutions!

Much love, Jenni
 

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>> 6 factors to manifest anything you want

>> How to re-program your mind

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my dreamy, cheese love story on how I manifested my soulmate

*This blog was updated on Dec 17, 2020*

Seven years ago I had a big dream. 

My dream was to find a solid, truthfully loving, kind, and reliable partner. A soulmate.

The one who would be my best friend, my partner in crime and as independent as I am but who would love togetherness as much as I do. 

I had been going through rough life experiences and painful relationships. After losses, separations and painful but helpful realizations, I had been taking responsibility on my wellbeing and happiness in new ways, recovering and healing the wounds consciously.

It felt I was rising from the ashes and was ready to go again. Even I felt timid, and scared sometimes to even think about starting a new relationship. 

In some point I seriously thought about sacrificing my life for humanitarian work, helping others, and living alone as a modern nun! 

At the age of 35, it occasionally sounded like a valid option for me asI had decided I would not satisfy less than meeting the one who felt like he was the one.

I had already jumped out from the corporate world and I was creating a purpose-driven business based on my values, intuition, desires and skills. I wanted nothing more than to find my true passions and do meaningful work. I was researching happiness, psychology, healing methods, and universal laws on how to lead and create life instead of drifting in life. 

I had realized that I had been conspiring my experiences, so I took a full responsibility of my experiences, beliefs and patterns.  

My awareness grew rapidly as I focused on self-healing. My love an appreciation grew exponentially towards life, others- everything. Internally I started feeling free, connected, accepted and more of myself again.  

So much more that I started believing again that there would be someone, somewhere in the world, who was meant for me.

I set the stakes as high as all my new dreams - I determined that I’d rather live alone the rest of my life if I wouldn’t meet The One. 

I didn’t run out to the bars, or speed dates or started hunting anyone. It just didn't feel right, anymore. I allowed myself to "meet someone anywhere anytime" like everyone was saying to me. As I was empowering myself, I started trusting the unknown, my visions, and desires.

As I had already made some big shifts professionally before and had grown my courage to believe it is was possible to create the big leaps and make our desires true. 

I had been able to create and attract good things into my life - my career, my amazing apartment, the way I got out from the business world, the finances, the yoga teacher training in Nicaragua, which was the first step on my professional transition and transformation.

It had all been on my first ever vision board, or little intention notes that I had written. I had used the power of my mind, feelings and intentions to manifest it. 

Through my street-science research, I had learned it was possible to change our lives by shifting our energy, mindset, thoughts and focus - and create a new reality from inside out. 

It was almost overwhelming for me to realize how powerful we really are when there’s healthy self-worth, and we use our free will to make conscious choices by bringing our hearts to it

Things started to flow easily and effortlessly. As I intentionally focused on expanding love in every way every where I went and with everyone with who I interacted. I was bursting love. When I felt sometimes lonely and felt uncertain if it was completely ridiculous, I kept feeling and believing in my future visions.

I knew I was ready to meet someone, I just didn’t know how and what should do I do about it.

I wouldn’t have met my husband without the help of '“invisible forces”, the guidance that I got from the unknown psychic astrologist. One night I saw her ad online and ordered a free reading just for fun.

It changed my life.  

Next day I got an email from her and she was guiding me what I needed to do in order to meet my soulmate. She was urging me not to miss the opportunities that would be available for me shortly in two months.

Do more self-work, release your old beliefs about relationships, she said. And spent more time online, your first encounter will happen on a huge online service. She also said I’d win a large amount of money. 

There was doubt, for sure, as I couldn’t believe it would be possible to have something so good happening to me. But she seemed to know a lot of details about me without knowing anything about me. As I had nothing to lose, I decided to play, have fun, and get myself vulnerably out there.

I had not signed up for any large online dating sites as that didn't feel right either. My ex-boss had started an online dating startup, and she had created an account for me, but there were not that many people. So I didn’t do much more than detoxing my mind and spent more time online. That’s what I did anyway, so I forgot the whole reading! 

One night I logged in and liked the only person’s picture that I somehow liked. I was suspicious and hesitant but followed my intuition.

We started chatting and somehow things started moving forward quickly. I felt so nervous to leave for our first blind date. Because I knew it could be him and my life would change! And at the same time, I was scared what if he would not have been. It was very exciting and terrifying.

We met online in between those specifics dates she wrote about. Exactly like she described; first online on that dating site, then in Facebook and then soon on a blind date.

We lived only a few blocks away from each other. 

Our relationship developed smoothly and quickly, and he turned out to be exactly who I had been looking for. 

This week we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary, 7 years together.

• I have learned that communication, listening, and appreciation create the foundation for the relationship - starting from yourself.

• We can’t either ignore the mirror effect, that repeats in every human relationships: You get what you give and can learn a lot about yourself from what you see.

• When you change yourself, others will change around you (I have witnessed this multiple times during my marriage) so taking responsibility of our patterns, past and self-work is crucial.

So this is how our dreamy, cheesy, love-story got started.

Since then I have created many more conscious, quantum leaps.

It's called a leap when the desire happens fast, and pretty effortlessly and it's based on clear, heart-based intention. It's not a magic skill, it's simply about the energy and physics that happens automatically when we release the past attachments, connect with the heart-based desires and move towards them with consciously and effortlessly.

We manifest everything, not only good things. It's much more fun to do it intentionally and enjoy the good results while staying present, connected and knowing where you are heading. This is what I call Self-Mastery - the way I live and many, many successful people live it too. 

Learn all about this in practice, how to connect with your real visions passions and to start using these tools, create a life and career you want. The doors to my online mastermind program are open a few more days, read more in here Embody Your Inner Power.

Much love,
Jenni

The Glad Show with Meg Berry on Self-love, Tantra and the Alchemy of Innocence

Meg Berry is a wellness professional, alt country singer-songwriter, and mother of three, Meg Berry, a.k.a. Tantra Cowgirl, is the owner of Artful Body studio in New Jersey and teaches classical Pilates, Tantra Core, MomCore and Tantra courses in person and online. She is the creator of Tantra Core, which combines the Tantric philosophy of wellness with the Pilates philosophy of fitness through movement and breathwork.

After healing her lifelong PTSD and body dysmorphia with Tantra, Meg was lit up with the desire to make Tantra and its effective healing accessible to everyone. She has the desire to make it accessible and effective to everyone seeking health and vitality - and Meg combines the Tantric philosophy of wellness through movement and breathwork.

On this episode we talk about:

• Meg's story on how she was able to heal herself

• What Tantra is really about

• When you learn to breathe you ignite the healing and wellbeing

• If you can feel it you can heal it

• Beautiful Bliss Breathe meditation; meditation of senses (video below)

We had some issues with the Internet while recording this episode on Facebook Live, so we shoot the meditation on a separate video. Which actually works much better!

Watch the full interview here

The Alchemy of Innocence meditation:

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you.

If you know anyone who would love this episode, please share online and with your friends! 

Love, 
Jenni

P.S. What topics or who would you like to see on The Glad Show? Comment below!

Alyson Noël: Don't believe what people say to you

Alyson Noël is the #1 New York Times bestselling, award-winning, author of 26 novels. With 9 New York Times bestsellers and over 8 million copies in print, her books have been translated into 36 languages and sold in over 200 countries. 

You may have read her novel series The Immortals, Riley Bloom, Soul Seekers or Beautiful Idols. Her Young Adult novel, Saving Zoë, is soon to be a major motion picture starring Vanessa Marano, and Laura Marano, with Jeffrey G. Hunt directing. 

I met Alyson three years ago in Bali where I started writing my first book. We sat down to discuss how she created an impressive, successful career by following her passions and building amazing success as an author.

In this episode Alyson shares:

• How she became a full-time writer after working for multiple other jobs for a long time

• How she, after working with her first book for 15 years, got it published

• Her daily habits and pragmatic approach and guidance for aspiring writers

• When is the right time to go after your dreams

• Why failing and being rejected is important for your growth and success

• What "you only need one yes" means

• Why you need to take responsibility of your stories, gifts, and skills and make the effort to get them out to the world without believing what people say to you
  

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you.

What is your big dream? Do you have the story or an idea in your mind that doesn't leave you alone?

If you have something you want to put out into the world, share your idea in the comments below. Let us know how does your first baby step look like and when are you going to take it?

I guarantee magic happens, when you put the intention out there.

Like Duke Ellington said: "I don't need time, all I need is deadline."

Also, if you know anyone who would love this episode, please share with your friends! 

Love, 
Jenni 

P.S. Here's two book wonderful book recommendations about creativity: Story by Robert Mckee and The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - Enjoy!

Anne Vainio: happiness is an everyday practice

Why happiness requires everyday practice? 

In this intimate interview, I talk with Anne Vainio about her unique story. After drastic losses and facing serious health issues she started a journey to the self and shifted from self-ignorance and numbness to self-knowledge and awareness - and built a new foundation to her life. 

IN THIS EPISODE:

• What does it really mean to connect with your true self.

• Changing from achievement to consistency and alignment.

• The essence of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual clarity.

• Why reinforcing happiness must be part of everyday routines.

• Big dreams can be achieved with consistent, patient steps.

• Clear future vision and intentions keep the passion and motivation high.

• Have fun: Stop. Reset. Play.

We also hit the big question: Is it necessary to lose something important before we take it seriously and find the motivation to seek help and make the changes?
 

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

The biggest lesson here is to learn how to listen and trust the inner voice and stop comparing ourselves with others.

To get connected with your authentic self again and creating clarity for the future, we basically went deep with these four questions:

• Who am I?

• What you want; what is that your deepest desire?

• What is meaningful and fulfilling for you?

• How to make it happen?

 

Stop. reset. play.
 

And have fun! Thank you so much for watching!

If you know anyone who could find it useful, please share with your friends! 

Karlyn Borysenko: workplace bullying led to a book deal

In this episode of The Glad Show, I talk with Karlyn Borysenko, who is an organizational psychologist, owner, and principal of Zen Workplace.

We deep dive into her personal story and experiences about workplace bullying and how she got fired when it happened.

All that eventually led to finding her own company, signing 6-figure agreements and getting a book deal. We talk about fears, patience, humanity, and especially, how to get courageously started when you have an important message and mission that helps to change the world for better. 

She shares how she found her way out from the unhealthy environment, got in touch with her real passion and started helping organizations create healthier and happier work environments. 

There is so much more, so just dive in...

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

Once you've had a chance to watch or listen, please join us in the comments on the blog.

I'm curious and interested in hearing what resonated most with you on Karlyn’s story?

Specifically… I'd like to ask you: What kind of personal story do you want to write in the future?

Thank you so much for reading and watching, I really hope you enjoy the interview! If you like it please share with your friends and social media. 

 

P.S. later I contacted Karlyn to ask her advice on workplace bullying, what to do when it happens? And this is what she replied:

Get out. Seriously. Go find another job. Don’t go to HR, because they probably won’t help you. The person bullying you has probably bullied other people before and HR likely knows about it and hasn’t done anything about it. You want to go find somewhere that will value you and allow you to thrive. And know that you’re not crazy, you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s not a reflection of your value or what you can contribute to the organization, so don’t let it get to you. When you’re out of it and are in a place that appreciates you, you’ll be able to look back on the situation and see it for what it is. www.zenworkplace.com

What I learned on the saddest day of my life

Overwhelm, anxiety, and feeling drained is, unfortunately, a new norm. I hear that every day from my clients.

And I can relate.

In this vlog I'm talking about the realization that helped me to change the course of my life and gave me the power to take it towards what I really desired and was passionate about: to find my purpose and authentic happiness.   

I'm also talking about why it's crucial to connect with ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally, and how to release the old blockages that keep you stuck in your situation.

You'll get guidance of how to start creating intentional life and why intentions really make a difference for your future.

There is a way out of the constant struggling and set yourself free. 

Watch the video or listen to the audio below.

If you like this vlog share with your friends! 

Boost your confidence and self-esteem and download my ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio here.

Thank you for watching! 

Love,
Jenni

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni

6 steps to break a worry habit

A while ago I noticed an unhealthy pattern had sneaked in my life. It was a reminisce of my years in the corporate world, but I hadn't felt it for years, and the old familiar feelings rang my health and wellness alarms.

I don't play with health or happiness anymore, so I looked into my habits (of thinking and behaving) to understand what was causing it and to know how to make changes:

I had a productive phase going on and I was producing a lot of new content. Long to-do list made me minimize the meditation and writing time in the mornings. I worked late and then stayed up late spending "my time" in Instagram and reading work-related books and articles late in the bed.

It was hard to get up in the mornings as I was awake at some point during the nights. I felt tired in the middle of the day. To keep myself going, I had started drinking coffee on the afternoon. I felt tired and wired at the same time.   

I was overdriving myself so that at the end of the week my brain was foggy and my body was over-heated, meaning I felt the blood pressure and cortisol levels were high.

I told myself it's temporary (and at the same time I was afraid it was not) and then I stopped: I don't want to do it this way, no matter what it is - I have a choice.

When I saw all these things and it was clear: I was suffering adrenaline fatigue. I lacked downtime and boundaries. 

In yoga, there is a rule that after an inversion pose it's good to rest the same amount of the time that you have been upside down. 

The same rule works in life: during the busier times, it's important to recharge the batteries - physically and mentally - all the time.

Creativity and productivity - both - require space and time. It's tough to create new ideas and be focused when your mind is full. 

What I did to fix it: 

The moment when I realized what was going on, I wanted to take responsibility for it.

I did the clarity exercise below and reduced all the unnecessary worries - there were not that much left after it - I felt at ease. 

Also, I booked time for acupuncture, scheduled a sweaty yoga class, took a herbal path and did nothing but relaxing for a couple of days - I planned time to relax. I observed my mind carefully and skipped everything that was too overwhelming and making my brain buzzing. I changed the bedtime routines: no more mobile time or work-related reading. Instyle magazine makes me snooze in five minutes. 

In the long run, adrenaline fatigue can create diseases as the body responses to mind’s constant overwhelm negative chatter and requirements.
 

Get to know your stress-factors and know your habits:

• What habits of yours do you like, why?

• What habits do you want to change? 

We need to keep track of our habits and know how they affect us - it can be very unconscious. If we don’t know what is creating the stress, we can’t react and respond it.

6 steps to releasing the stressful chaos and worries:

Take a pen and paper or open your notebook, and start answering the following questions:

1. How do I feel now - in the body and mind?  

2. What issues are stressing you and causing this feeling? Write them all down no matter it's 99 issues and worries. 

3. What are the worries that you can't do anything about? The future is not in your hands, the now is.

4. What can you do to your list? Prioritize them. 

5. Plan how and when you get those things done (please don’t overplan and exhaust yourself as you can do only three foremost things per day).

6. Ask yourself why have you chosen to do it? Remind yourself about your what you accomplish when you get there and finish the sentence:
    
   “I am doing this because…” and decide to be excited about it. You need to decide it if you don't feel it.

There you go - now you have a clear plan and you know it's doable and you can affect.

This gives you the motivation, as we all have to eat our shit sandwich as Elizabeth Gilbert calls it: no matter we follow our passions, we still need to do the work, and often it's challenging. 

When you choose to struggle for the things that matter to you and are important, it's not that bad at all as you know it is meaningful to you.   

The worrying thoughts won’t take away tomorrow’s problems, but they will take away today’s joy. 

If you liked this post, please share it, tweet it, pin it, like it!

With love,
Jenni

Are you repeating your parents' mistakes?

At the airport recently I was going to the gate alongside parents traveling with their two young boys. The elder boy was walking together with his parents, but the younger was peevish, staying behind and slowing everyone down.

He didn't want to go through security and therefore walked as slowly as possible to get his parents' attention.

Suddenly this five-year-old, who followed the rest of the family hugging his teddy bear, started crying out:

"You don't like me. Nobody likes me. You like Sam more than me."

Hearing him say this, sudden tears of compassion came to my eyes.

I understood so well how he felt.

The scene could have been lifted directly from my childhood, even the words he used were the same.

My cousin still teases me about the time when we visited her family. I woke everyone up during the night as I was crying out loud my 'nobody loves me' cry. No matter how much my mom comforted me, I had already formed a belief that I was not lovable at the age of four.

It was not my fault, nor was it my parents' fault. They didn’t know how to experience their feelings or how to teach me to experience mine. In the late 70’s and 80's, when I grew up, people were often not as emotionally or spiritually aware as we are today.

Also, there’s cultural patterns. I come from Finland and Finns are known as silent people who do not easily express any kind of emotion. Emotions were simply not talked about or expressed that much when I was a child.

They did their best, like most parents do.

There’s a reason why I’ve had to heal myself emotionally in this lifetime.

Sometimes, it only requires one sentence or one look, for the child to create a trauma; a harmful self-belief which can affect them for decades if it’s not released and changed.

In my case, I never really learned how to feel and deal with my emotions, fears, and feelings as a child.

I felt abandoned because I didn’t get the emotional response I needed from my parents.

As a little girl, I learned subconsciously that I needed to earn love.

I learned if I do a lot; become better; improve myself; and aim for perfection all the time, then I get approval. Then I am enough and I earn a reason to receive the love and approval I so craved. No one required me to do that. I did a lot of sports; was good at school; and had a full schedule when I was little. I thrived as a child, but as long as I can remember, I felt lonely.

Everyone thought I was ambitious and that’s why I was so hard on myself. They thought that was why I was so hard working and needed to constantly achieve something, to feel fulfilled. I never felt I’m “there” - nothing was enough.

Working hard, pleasing people and striving for perfection didn’t work out.

It didn’t wipe away the feelings of loneliness and fear of abandonment; or the fear that I don’t belong anywhere.

I repeated these cycles for decades, until I stepped on the path of self-love and approval and learned deep down the root cause of these feelings.

As an adult, my emotional wound - I’m not lovable as I am and love needs to be earned - made me work and push myself too much. It was so exhausting, I created unstable, abusive relationships, and I couldn’t really trust anyone enough; I still thought they would hurt or abandon me. All this made me create physical issues and self-sabotaging habits - it all comes from a confused mind and misleading beliefs.

Things have changed for me since and fortunately there’s a way for everyone to change these beliefs.

Emotional abandonment is one of the deepest wounds; and difficult to overcome.

We all have emotional wounds and so many of us believe we are not good enough to have and get what we really deserve and want - often very simple things.

We can repeat our family patterns from generation to generation until we put a stop to it. Any kind of suffering doesn't really run in a family - nor do most diseases.

It's not easy to change habits or behavior if you don't know what’s causing them or how to solve your issues at the root. But this self discovery is the only way to stop passing issues on to your kids; or repeating patterns in your own life.

That is your responsibility as a parent and you owe it to yourself too (same goes with relationships). If you repeatedly do something that you don't understand and don't like about yourself (maybe something your parents did to you) - there is a way to change it.

When working with clients, and on my own healing journey, I have found ways to heal and get over these painful patterns.

The tools I have found work best to help change habits are transformational hypnotherapy; energy healing work; and coaching.

Much love,

Jenni

Simple Way to Boost Productivity and Increase Focus

I have been the biggest procrastinator I know and the habit caused me a lot of struggle and self-doubt as I was just not able to follow through my plans and desires. (By Gretchen Rubin's framework my tendency type is Rebel, meaning that I often resist all, inner and outer, expectations - mostly my own).  

It has been a huge learning curve for me to learn how to say no, also for myself, and set boundaries, when I just want to do this and that quickly, and ideas pop up in my head, which just distracts me (nowadays I write the them down “for later” so that I make myself to believe that I don't miss a thing).

I know so many of us who work themselves or manage their own time and schedule and struggle a lot with their time management. I wanted to share a technique with you that helps to get things fast and efficiently and it helps you to commit your goals and tasks.

How to increase your productivity, do things efficiently and keep your focus? 

This is called Pomodoro method (Pomodoro means tomato in Italian), which is amazing when you don’t have much time and you want to get things done fast and optimize your time and effort.

Many people use way too much time for simple things as they just don’t do it. This method increases your productivity when you start using it (and it makes you happier). 

Francesco Cirillo was cutting tomatoes when he got the idea of the Pomodoro Technique on the 80’s. 

How would it feel for you if you would feel complete at the end of every day?

First of all (this is my preparation advice):

• Plan your months, weeks and days (read here how to do it and download the free daily planner).

• Splitting your time in chunks keep you on your happy tracks.

• Clarify the outcome what you want and need to do.

• What would make you feel complete with the task?

• What is the tiny little thing that you need and want to get done?

• Minimize all the distractions: email, phone, social media accounts - everything that could distract you.
  

Then we are getting into the traditional Pomodoro method:

• Set the timer for 25 minutes.

• Start working - you only have to work for 25 minutes, so it’s not a big deal right?

• When the alarm peeps, take a 5-10 minute break.

Repeat for four times (100 minutes) and then take a longer 20-minute break (great time for meditation, just taking it easy, get some fresh air and empty your mind).

Why it works?

1) You set a clear intention for what you want to achieve.

2) You minimize all the distractions and focus 100% and you will get more done in 20 minutes than in hours.

3) You allow yourself to work in small time junks, which is so much easier than climbing to the huge mountain at once and feel overwhelm by it!

4) Small steps - fantastic accomplishments and you will feel complete, satisfied and rewarded after you are done.

Don’t go to social media during the breaks if you don’t really have to. You only get distracted and overwhelmed or end up in a social media rabbit hole and suddenly two hours is gone. Or you start comparing yourself to others and self-doubt takes over. So say brave no for social media!

As Francesco's brilliant idea proves: the best ideas always come when you least expect them! No pushing, no struggling - but with life with ease attitude!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know in the comments below in what ways were you able to boost your productivity or what is the biggest block for you.

With love,
Jenni

HOW TO GET STARTED, FACE YOUR FEARS AND MAKE THINGS HAPPEN

5 ways to get over the resistance and fears

Often we know exactly what we could do in order to get there, but something just keeps us stuck.

Often we don't even know what it is or WHY we are preventing us from moving forward and receiving what’s on the other side of it, so we just stay stuck.

And it can be so frustrating that you eventually start believing you can’t have or do what you really really desire.

The more we struggle against our inner voice and calling, more frustrated and stuck we feel...

Usually, we are the ones who are standing in the way of our own happiness and success.

And usually, it’s fear that is hiding behind of those aims, desires, strategies and plans that never happen because you are not able to take action.

There are all kinds of fears:

• fear of happiness

• fear of success

• fear of failure

• fear of unknown

• fear of what other people think if you start doing what you really want

• fear of commitment

• fear of not being good enough

• fear of receiving... what we actually want: success, happiness, abundance, money

• fear of what’s happening on the other side of the fear, the unknown

What’s yours?

If you take action based on fear and think it’s not going to work out, it probably won’t!

There are 3 beliefs that are the root of these fears:

1. I can’t have what I want, it’s not available for me

2. I’m not good enough, loved, worthy or deserving to want, have, or do what I want

3. It feels unsafe as it’s new; unfamiliar

Most of these beliefs are buried in the unconscious and that’s why the brain wants to keep us “safe and protected” no matter what it’s so brilliant it figures out the way how to hold us back: procrastination, emotional eating, anxiety, avoidance, you feel you are never ready or have enough knowledge but continuously need more proof, certificates, self-work… I know, I know!

To change this we need to become aware of the reason behind the reason and learn the techniques how to face our fears, resistance and other related emotions and empower our brain to trust and believe better thoughts and feel good about our aims and goals.

These are so powerful beliefs and keep so many people unhappily stuck exactly where they are.

No matter they want to live and build the life and career of their dreams, in their own terms, they can’t help but let their fears prevent them to live to the fullest. Eventually, they just want to give up and satisfy less and stick with their limiting beliefs. I don't want that to happen to you!

watch the video below and learn how to do it.

grab your notebook:

1) Look within: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT MOST RIGHT NOW?

Write down all max. five things that have been bugging you on your "should do/be/have" list. Write down the things that you have resisted most.

It can be about creating clients, finding a new job, asking for more money, starting blog, a website, writing an article, creating a course, developing yourself somehow, taking the first action step... 

2) prioritize

Make a list and pick one. Don't start contemplating too much in between the options, you can do them all but you need to start one thing at the time. Make it easy, do one thing at time. What would help you move forward fastest?

3) FEEL IT: face the fear, the resistance

What are the thoughts and feelings related to this desire or goal? Write them down. Accept how you feel and approve it’s there: just witness it there.

Your brain and your body are sending you a message of what you need to become aware of.

Is this thought helpful: is it real and is it true?

How does this thought or fear help you or prevent you?

Can you change this thought to an empowering one and support yourself that way?

Has someone else someway done what you want to do? That gives your brain an indication it is possible. Yes?

4) TAKE ACTION

What is the first step to getting ahead with it? Baby steps, write your actions steps down. Schedule it in your calendar. Decide you are going to do it and it’s going to work for you no matter what. How would you feel when you have done it? Write it down.

Taking action from the place of trusting and believing it’s going to work for you will bring you the results you want.

Taking action by feeling your feelings behind the fear and resistance is the only way to get over yourself.

From that place you will create a personal breakthrough, as you feel more empowered and you have your energy aligned with success.

When you learn to do manage your thoughts and feelings so you CAN follow through, you will see how changes start happening. This is really about creating a momentum.

Your courage will grow and - and no matter the fears will never totally leave us (they are keeping us safe in the end)  - we can learn how to use them as guidance and release those unconscious inner blocks that really are the only thing keeping us stuck and struggling.

Is this helpful? Let me know below!

Much Love, Jenni

10 tips for better sleep (and health and wellness)

We all know how important sleep is for our well-being. Lack of sleep affects the mind, happiness, and weight and can cause all kind of side-symptoms.

People who suffer from insomnia are ready to do anything to get some sleep, I know that from my own experience. Years ago I suffered from insomnia and I know all about the horrors it can cause. In the end, when I took the responsibility of it, I used all these methods to create new evening routines and balance my distracted mind and create a new mindset about sleeping.

10 tips for better sleep

1. Create healthy evening routines. Adults need routines as well. What are your evening routines? Is it serving your sleeping? Modify your routines, if needed and follow them even while you are traveling and on the weekends. Reserve enough time for your sleeping routines in the evenings.

2. An hour before bedtime: no social media, internet, games - switch off all the gadgets. No work related reading either but something empowering and positive. TV doesn't belong in the bedroom: it makes your sleep worse and keeps your brain up and running all night. It doesn't remove the stressful thoughts but just distracts your mind other ways. What to do instead? Journal, read, just relax, draw, stretch, meditate or be present and have a conversation with your family.

3. Set your alarm early in the evening. So that you don't need to think about it just before bedtime.

4. Write your worry list & work through your thoughts about the day before getting into bed. Don't try to go to bed with stressful thoughts. Write down all the things and thoughts running in your mind - I mean everything including the negative feelings. It helps you to release anxiety that often sneaks in in the middle of the night and then keeps you awake. Remember, what you can't change or affect is not useful worry about. Don't carry the baggage you can't release.

5. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet and cool. Dark blue is a great, calming color.

6. Cut off caffeine already on the afternoon (tea, coffee, soda) - it affects to your body. Switch to decaf coffee and tea.

7. Cut off alcohol: many believe that nightcap or couple of glasses of wine can make it feel easier to fall asleep, but you are more likely to wake up frequently.  And you slowly create a need/addiction with alcohol. If you are ready to explore cut off alcohol for a couple of weeks and you will feel calmer, sleep better and feel more energized.

8. Take deep breathes (meditate). Close your eyes and breathe. Or put your legs up on the wall and just breathe for 5 to 10 minutes. Very calming and tranquilizing, slowing down your system and stress levels.

9. Avoid heavy exercise or heavy meals late in the evening.  

10. If you wake-up in the middle of the night, don't panic - it's fine. Get up, do something calming, reading or meditation and when you feel tired again, go back to bed.

These tips can help to calm down in the evening and release the stress and tension that often disturbs the mind and prevent sleeping. If you suffer from long-term insomnia or if you feel fearful about sleep already in the evening or need to use sleeping aid often or every night, it is good to take it seriously and work things out to avoid more serious issues and exhaustion.

You can learn to sleep again and find new ways to calm yourself down and sleep well again. There are different ways to ease the distracted mind and release insomnia - hypnotherapy is a fast and effective natural therapy method that can help you to learn to sleep again: Read my more here.

If you want to know more could it help for you contact me here.

What do you do in the evenings to make sure you sleep well? 

Sweet dreams!

Much love, JennI

Hypnotherapy cured my insomnia and I learned to sleep again

I asked Jenni to help me with the sleeping problems and insomnia that I had been suffering on and off for over ten years.

I felt desperate as the problem was getting worse no matter I had nothing unusual or stressful going on in my life.

The only help appeared to be getting stronger medicines, and I didn't want that: I just wanted to rest naturally and sleep soundly, as I had done before.

My two-hour hypnotherapy session with Jenni was a deep dive to my mind and past revealing the personal reasons behind insomnia. After the session, I slept throughout the night.  Only one session and the personalized audio she made for me helped me almost magically to sleep again. I was able to change my thinking and release the old beliefs that caused insomnia. I now know that I can affect to my sleeping.

I now sleep most of the nights soundly until the morning. If I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, I know it is only natural and I'm not getting anxious anymore, but I feel relaxed about it. I am forever grateful for Jenni who helped me to let go of this nightmare and learn how to sleep again.

If you suffer from sleeping problems or a lot of stress and busyness hypnotherapy is a great and fast way to find a solution and release for your issue. The cause of the issues are always personal and hypnotherapy sessions are always personalized for your needs, so sometimes more than one session is needed. Get more information and book your session by email: info@jenniglad.com.  

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[more on the blog: 10 tips for better sleep]