How to

How to deal with rejection- and become immune to criticism

We have all experienced the pain of rejection and criticism in some form throughout our lives.

A critical comment from a co-worker, teacher, at school, being let go or fired, going through a breakup, divorce, or being excluded from the family or group of friends. Receiving a no from a client.

Rejection hurts.

These situations prey on our insecurities and make us feel like we are not good enough, viewing rejection as an indication of self-worth.

Most of us were not raised with high self-esteem and the skills to deal with rejection. Things happen to all of us at school and in life.

When we get rejected, it is possible that old pain triggers, and that is often causing feelings of jealousy, abandonment, isolation, and anxiety. 

To build up strong self-esteem and confidence is to become immune to criticism.

To overcome the fear of rejection, it’s important to understand it. 

We are all born with an instinct to survive; we do this by finding a connection with each other and avoiding rejection. We are scared of being rejected, hurt, and not being accepted as we are.

“Our brain is wired to the negative, to self-preserve, and protect us from hurt.” - Marisa Peer

This is why we tend to remember and focus on the things that went wrong, sometimes even if things are going great, as we have desired.

Have you ever had a really good day, but at the end of it, you suddenly remember old painful memories of failures or what someone has commented about your work, your looks, opinions, or who you are? 

I have worked with many successful, high-achieving women and men; even the most successful people struggle to deal with rejection and criticism. 

Why? We all crave acceptance, belonging and connection with each other; that’s the basis of human needs.

Also, we are all born without the fear of rejection, knowing that we are loved, accepted, and good enough- deserving of the very best. 

The fear of rejection and learned beliefs often come from childhood. These fears can be limiting your life and your success if they are not addressed.

This can keep even highly successful people playing small, sabotaging themselves, diminishing their needs and feelings, and working too much and too hard as they lack boundaries and awareness.

Fear or rejection can limit people to have positions, uplevel and increase their income responding. 

Often a rejection can trigger inner unconscious fear so strong that they feel stuck and unable to get over it, but start sabotaging themselves.

People raised by critical caretakers are afraid of conflicts, speaking up, and expressing themselves and their needs in calm, confident manners. Often they hold a lot of anger and resentment inside them as if they feel they were never seen and accepted as they were as a child.

They learned to respond to criticism by constantly trying to improve and demand more and more of themselves. Also, they learned to get the attention the children need and crave in negative ways as they need to get it some way and have no capabilities to understand or express their needs better. 

This wiring can still be active in their adulthood if it’s not consciously treated. It can be that the children of critical, judgmental, and demanding parents have become highly critical adults, often dealing with anger issues.

What’s important to understand is that critical people has the most criticism and judgment reserved for themselves. So often when an overly critical colleague, boss, friend, or family member throws out a mean comment about you, it is really a displacement for their own insecurities. 

Understanding this gives you the most liberating power to deal with rejection. 

How to boost self-esteem

The greatest starting point to boosting your self-esteem is to know that you are enough and worthy of your real desires. 

Once your mind shifts to this new perspective, you gain control back of your thoughts, take control of your mindset, and overcome the fear of rejection. 

It does not matter what other people think of you, only what you think of yourself. 

Knowing that you are empowered to control what you accept into your consciousness, allows you growth and the opportunity to become immune. Confidence is a skill that you can train.

Self-praise and self-validation will manifest your thoughts and emotions into strong, positive intentional behaviors.

This is why I praise daily clarity practice and reflecting on our days, feelings and events at the end of the day. You can read more of it here and download my free daily planner here to start doing this wonderful practice. 

How to become immune to rejection

You have the power to become immune to criticism- you always have a choice with rejection. 

  1. The only person who has the real power to reject you is you. You always have the power to change and choose what you think and how you feel, and there is nothing more powerful than that.

  2. Be mindful of the way you talk to yourself. Remind yourself of all of the positive things and people in your life or what you have to be grateful for.

  3. Don’t accept rejection by saying, “I will not let this in.” When you don’t accept rejection, you are not giving your power away for others or to any situation.

  4. Turn your obstacles to wins. Getting rejected can build resilience, help you grow and when you take the lessons you won’t be bothered to react personally to rejection or criticism in the future.

  5. When you educate yourself and learn more about your reactions and patterns, you begin to understand why you feel the way you do, and see your underlying reasons behind the obvious and release them.

  6. Rejection is often misunderstood. Our interpretation of any life events and other people’s comments is based on the stories we tell ourselves and the beliefs we have formed in childhood. This is defining how and why you respond to rejection and criticism the way you do. 

I hope you found this article helpful. How have you got over the fear of rejection or criticism? Leave a comment below!

If you have been rejected and the fear of rejection or confrontation is greater than your own abilities to overcome it, I work with business women helping them to strengthen their inner powers, have high confidence and self-esteem, so that they can expand and be able to take their lives, careers and income to the next level. You can book a free consultation call here to chat about your situation.


This post is inspired by my mentor and hypnotherapy teacher Marisa Peer. Image by Hannah Busing, Unsplash.

Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

  2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

  3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

  4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

  • When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

  • You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

  • You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

  • Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

Do you want to change your morning habits? Here's how to do it.

There are tons of self-help books that tell us how to create a successful and super-productive day.

We should wake-up very early, get up like a space rocket, stop snoozing, follow the 5-second rule, do yoga, exercise, get into action right away, meditate, journal, eat healthy, have a large breakfast, plan and visualize our days, listen to something inspirational, set the mindset, use affirmations…

Most of us don’t have the time to do that every day. Most people don’t even try, as all this feels so overwhelming. 

But, it does matter a great deal, what do you do right after you wake-up.

How to change your habits and create a morning routine?

Start with your shoulds.

Before you try change your morning routines: question your "shoulds":

"I should get up earlier, I should do more yoga, I shouldn't read my emails first thing in the morning, or go to social media…"

Remove the word should from your vocabulary.

It’s not really leading to any action but only causing unnecessary self-blame and judgment, especially if you don't even intend to do anything about it. Those shoulds are just habits of thinking.

Maybe it’s not your thing to do yoga or the ther shoulds in the mornings, maybe it's not fitting with your lifestyle right now? And that is completely fine.

If that’s the case, please give yourself a break and let go -- put it on your back burner list or forget it. Or, maybe the evening is working better for you?

If you don't have the motivation and knowledge why you want to make the effort to create a new habit, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever start. It's waste of energy to carry that idea with you.

Ask yourself why you don't do what you want to do?

What's coming up?

We are so used to our thinking patterns, habits, and behavior that we don't see them until we stop to see them. 

You can change your habits when you are aware of what needs to be changed. 

Start trying what feels good for you - bring new routines and habits into your mornings one by one. 

Here's my golden advice how to have successful mornings and days.

It’s not a secret, but something most people don’t get and don't even do, it takes 5 minutes: 

You win your morning by planning it the night before.  

What time you wake-up and what do you do right after. 

Also, you can start your days again anytime. 

Sometimes I start my days four times per day. I then do a little cleansing meditation, align my feelings and thoughts for the next activities. This saves nerves (literally) and keep the energy steady and flowing every day.

To hep you get started I have created an amazing guide to learn about the daily routines and success habits that help you get things done and feel good about yourself every day.

DOWNLOAD The 7 Essential Daily Habits and Routines to Leading Your Life Towards
Your Desires and Visions here >>

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. I would love to hear from you! If you have any questions, you can just send me an email

6 steps to break a worry habit

A while ago I noticed an unhealthy pattern had sneaked in my life. It was a reminisce of my years in the corporate world, but I hadn't felt it for years, and the old familiar feelings rang my health and wellness alarms.

I don't play with health or happiness anymore, so I looked into my habits (of thinking and behaving) to understand what was causing it and to know how to make changes:

I had a productive phase going on and I was producing a lot of new content. Long to-do list made me minimize the meditation and writing time in the mornings. I worked late and then stayed up late spending "my time" in Instagram and reading work-related books and articles late in the bed.

It was hard to get up in the mornings as I was awake at some point during the nights. I felt tired in the middle of the day. To keep myself going, I had started drinking coffee on the afternoon. I felt tired and wired at the same time.   

I was overdriving myself so that at the end of the week my brain was foggy and my body was over-heated, meaning I felt the blood pressure and cortisol levels were high.

I told myself it's temporary (and at the same time I was afraid it was not) and then I stopped: I don't want to do it this way, no matter what it is - I have a choice.

When I saw all these things and it was clear: I was suffering adrenaline fatigue. I lacked downtime and boundaries. 

In yoga, there is a rule that after an inversion pose it's good to rest the same amount of the time that you have been upside down. 

The same rule works in life: during the busier times, it's important to recharge the batteries - physically and mentally - all the time.

Creativity and productivity - both - require space and time. It's tough to create new ideas and be focused when your mind is full. 

What I did to fix it: 

The moment when I realized what was going on, I wanted to take responsibility for it.

I did the clarity exercise below and reduced all the unnecessary worries - there were not that much left after it - I felt at ease. 

Also, I booked time for acupuncture, scheduled a sweaty yoga class, took a herbal path and did nothing but relaxing for a couple of days - I planned time to relax. I observed my mind carefully and skipped everything that was too overwhelming and making my brain buzzing. I changed the bedtime routines: no more mobile time or work-related reading. Instyle magazine makes me snooze in five minutes. 

In the long run, adrenaline fatigue can create diseases as the body responses to mind’s constant overwhelm negative chatter and requirements.
 

Get to know your stress-factors and know your habits:

  • What habits of yours do you like, why?

  • What habits do you want to change? 

We need to keep track of our habits and know how they affect us - it can be very unconscious. If we don’t know what is creating the stress, we can’t react and respond it.


6 steps to releasing the stressful chaos and worries:

Take a pen and paper or open your notebook, and start answering the following questions:

  1. How do I feel now - in the body and mind?  

  2. What issues are stressing you and causing this feeling? Write them all down no matter it's 99 issues and worries. 

  3. What are the worries that you can't do anything about? The future is not in your hands, the now is.

  4. What can you do to your list? Prioritize them. 

  5. Plan how and when you get those things done (please don’t overplan and exhaust yourself as you can do only three foremost things per day).

  6. Ask yourself why have you chosen to do it? Remind yourself about your what you accomplish when you get there and finish the sentence:
     
    “I am doing this because…” and decide to be excited about it. You need to decide it if you don't feel it.

There you go - now you have a clear plan and you know it's doable and you can affect.

This gives you the motivation, as we all have to eat our shit sandwich as Elizabeth Gilbert calls it: no matter we follow our passions, we still need to do the work, and often it's challenging. 

When you choose to struggle for the things that matter to you and are important, it's not that bad at all as you know it is meaningful to you.   

The worrying thoughts won’t take away tomorrow’s problems, but they will take away today’s joy. 

If you liked this post, please share it, tweet it, pin it, like it!

With love,
Jenni

Simple Way to Boost Productivity and Increase Focus

I have been the biggest procrastinator I know and the habit caused me a lot of struggle and self-doubt as I was just not able to follow through my plans and desires. (By Gretchen Rubin's framework my tendency type is Rebel, meaning that I often resist all, inner and outer, expectations - mostly my own).  

It has been a huge learning curve for me to learn how to say no, also for myself, and set boundaries, when I just want to do this and that quickly, and ideas pop up in my head, which just distracts me (nowadays I write the them down “for later” so that I make myself to believe that I don't miss a thing).

I know so many of us who work themselves or manage their own time and schedule and struggle a lot with their time management. I wanted to share a technique with you that helps to get things fast and efficiently and it helps you to commit your goals and tasks.

 

How to increase your productivity, do things efficiently and keep your focus? 

This is called Pomodoro method (Pomodoro means tomato in Italian), which is amazing when you don’t have much time and you want to get things done fast and optimize your time and effort.

Many people use way too much time for simple things as they just don’t do it. This method increases your productivity when you start using it (and it makes you happier). 

Francesco Cirillo was cutting tomatoes when he got the idea of the Pomodoro Technique on the 80’s. 

How would it feel for you if you would feel complete at the end of every day?

First of all (this is my preparation advice):

  • Plan your months, weeks and days (read here how to do it and download the free daily planner).

  • Splitting your time in chunks keep you on your happy tracks.

  • Clarify the outcome what you want and need to do.

  • What would make you feel complete with the task?

  • What is the tiny little thing that you need and want to get done?

  • Minimize all the distractions: email, phone, social media accounts - everything that could distract you.

Then we are getting into the traditional Pomodoro method:

  • Set the timer for 25 minutes.

  • Start working - you only have to work for 25 minutes, so it’s not a big deal right?

  • When the alarm peeps, take a 5-10 minute break.

Repeat for four times (100 minutes) and then take a longer 20-minute break (great time for meditation, just taking it easy, get some fresh air and empty your mind).


Why it works?

1) You set a clear intention for what you want to achieve.

2) You minimize all the distractions and focus 100% and you will get more done in 20 minutes than in hours.

3) You allow yourself to work in small time junks, which is so much easier than climbing to the huge mountain at once and feel overwhelm by it!

4) Small steps - fantastic accomplishments and you will feel complete, satisfied and rewarded after you are done.

Don’t go to social media during the breaks if you don’t really have to. You only get distracted and overwhelmed or end up in a social media rabbit hole and suddenly two hours is gone. Or you start comparing yourself to others and self-doubt takes over. So say brave no for social media!

As Francesco's brilliant idea proves: the best ideas always come when you least expect them! No pushing, no struggling - but with life with ease attitude!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know in the comments below in what ways were you able to boost your productivity or what is the biggest block for you.


With love,
Jenni

How to practice gratitude & boost happiness, health, and abundance

This is a habit you  w a n t  to bring into your life. Practicing gratitude, a.k.a paying attention to the good things in your life on daily basis, uplifts your mood and gives clarity in just a few minutes.

In the long run, it is an effective practice and a crucial tool helping to manifest your desires and visions. Practicing gratitude keeps you going towards your goals and mindful in the moments, while you get priceless recognition and acknowledge of your own efforts every day. It's like you are giving yourself short-term rewards that we all need to hear.

Watch the video and learn more about it and why it is worth it:

How to start practicing

List ten things that you can be grateful for: the events that make you happy or make you smile. Use simple short sentences about things, encounters, your experiences or feelings— whatever details you recall from that day.

  1. Write it down in your notebook, peace of paper or your phone app. You can say it out loud (great to practice in the car while driving).

  2. Choose a method what works best for you or use all of them. Listing things in your mind may work but usually, the mind sidetracks by other thoughts.

  3. Feel every word in your gut and be honest. If you want to emphasize it a little bit more, add why you feel that way (recommended).

What happens when you start practicing gratitude:

  • You stop to see, feel and learn to recognize your positive emotions. 

  • You learn to notice the small meaningful things that make you happy (and are the 

  • You consciously change your mindset to positive.

  • You bring yourself to the present moment and grow your awareness.

  • You show effort as you take action.

  • You attract more goodness into your life.

  • You stop taking things for granted.

  • You respect life in a new way.

Starting a new practice can feel time-consuming at first, like starting a meditation practice or a new hobby but it will soon become easier, as you will soon you will start noticing the positive outcomes of this practice.

I usually do my gratitude practice in the evening, if not during the day when in need of extra energy - it is one of the mindful living tools, and it offers you a moment to take a breath. I track my day backward and pay attention to the tiniest details, what I saw or what happened during the day and how I felt.

Do you practice gratitude? How has it changed your life? Let me know your experience in the comments below.

Love,

Jenni

When the dreams are not coming true - How to deal with failure

When the dreams are not coming true - How to deal with failure

“If you awaken from this illusion….you can feel yourself not as a stranger in this world, not as something here on probation…” - Alan Watts.~get inspired~ Recently I was reminded of something important that I want to share with you. I felt little lost and I was jumping from site to site on the Internet, looking for inspiration and guidance from the coaches, teachers, and spiritual sites I follow. I found the Dream of life talk by Alan Watts - the one that inspired and touched me greatly a few years ago and it still does and .

Quick meditation to release and let go

Quick meditation to release and let go

This beautiful meditation is a tool for atonement, for correcting errors, erasing the effects of past actions and memories that cause havoc and grief in our lives. It’s the best way to look within, which is the best way to help others and yourself.

It’s all okay - Mindful living in the moments

I woke up at 2:27 am for hunger and racing thoughts. I knew I had two choices, either stay in the bed pressing my eyelids together and try to force myself back to sleep and eventually get frustrated, or I could get up and do something about it. Even though in that moment getting up felt like an effort, I knew “the tools” are working.

ONE MIND FULL NIGHT So I got up, ate a coconut yogurt and sat in the living room. The calm silence of the night is pretty comforting. I started breathing consciously in and out. I heard the traffic and the sirens. New York is one of the loudest cities in the world but actually, when you just focus to listen, there’s always some kind sound or wash, wherever you are.

The quietness, that floating, comforting and limitless space where the fulfillment lies, can be found behind all the noise.

I started scanning my body along my breathing and noticed some tension here and there and relaxed and released it consciously with the exhales. I observed my racing thoughts and emotions, simply recognizing what was going on in my mind.

I didn’t try to push the hassle away but I just followed-up and approved it all with the gentle self-compassion and curiosity. 

I sat in the living room maybe ten minutes, being fully present in my body, in my mind and in my breathing and the surroundings. I liked the calm space I had found and enjoyed being there alone. Soon I felt calm and noticed how I became tired again.

I was ready to go back to bed where I continued the conscious breathing counting in seven with the inhale and counting eleven with the exhale. Continuing to relax my body with the breathing. It’s a good old mindfulness trick giving the mind something else to do than worrying about the unnecessary things. I was sleeping sooner than I noticed and woke-up fresh and happy as I had listened to myself and my own guidance.

I do longer meditations too, depending on my schedule, but basically I’m using mindfulness and do mini-meditations along my days whenever I need the check-in, find the guidance what I desire, calm down, focus and balance myself from the feelings of rush or stress. Or when I just have time to be present and feel all the good in my life, which is the best way to recharge oneself and enjoy life. 

SIMPLE, EFFORTLESS EXERCISE The mind likes to warn us basically about everything scary and it just tries to keep us safe. Approving everything that is in that moment, is a way to release the negative emotions and the stressful thoughts, which are just thoughts.

Conscious breathing calms and roots us down when we are flying high. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body and lowers the stress levels. Breathing consciously in the middle of the day recharges your brain, your mind and your body in just few minutes.

If you’re are having a sleepless night or miss the peace during the days, try the tricks - bring your attention to you breathing whenever you are and give yourself a break to breathe: 

Count from 1 to 7 with the inhale, count from 1 to 11 with the exhale. 

IT'S FOR YOU TOO Many people still have think that practicing meditation is only something related to yoga, Eastern religions and spirituality. Or it’s woo-woo, which you just want to avoid. Or even though you would like to try, you don’t know how. Or you definitely don’t have time for it (a few minutes in the here and there, if possible 5 to 10 just after you have woken up).

I know, that’s what I said too. 

Meditation became my medication when I faced burnout and understood that peace and freedom I had been looking for, were to be found from inside. It was absolutely liberating for me to understand I can take the responsibility of my own wellbeing and create my kind of life.

I had meditated on the yoga classes for years but I was resisting to take the practice to my days as it felt difficult and weird without the yoga and physical exercise. Nothing really happened as I didn’t know what I should be feeling or how to recognize the voice of my mind and my heart. I was thinking about what I wanted to eat for dinner and then thought I just can’t meditate.

But that exactly is the practice. When the thoughts arise, you just go back to follow your breathing approving everything that is happening, without judgement. It will get easier. And your patience will grow. 

If you are looking for more happiness, and the feeling of being fully alive, feelings of love and compassion, ability to enjoy life, understanding, peace, balance and joy - these all are the benefits of the meditation and mindful living. And there are much more.

If you want to learn how to respond rather than react to life’s challenges, meditation helps. And it’s not only the emotional benefits when you get in touch with your emotions, but it improves the physical health too. And the relationships when you learn to be mindfully present.

Meditation is for everyone, it is the way to experience the life to the fullest and feel less stressed out. We need it in the middle of all distractions. It won’t take away life’s challenges, but when you become consciously aware and focus more on the present moment and less on your mobile phone, you'll become more connected with your emotions and feelings and needs, so you can take the responsibility of your own actions. You will get over the challenges sooner and you just don’t mind other people’s business that much.

If you want to be happy, be happy.

Ask, comment or let me know your thoughts - what have you found through mindfulness? What’s holding you back?

With love, Jenni

How to reach that peak (your goals and dreams)

Climbing to a big mountain cannot be done in one day. It requires practice, good planning and excellent physical shape. Not forgetting the team and all the equipment. It requires the right kind of mindset, courage, motivation and faith it would be possible.

After all the planning has been done, the first phase of the actual climbing can be begun. You need to stop to get used to the thin air and wait until you are ready to proceed again. If it doesn’t feel right and the weather conditions are too dangerous, you have to postpone or call off the trip, as you don’t want to threat your life. 

Reaching out the peak requires patience and good nerves. Ability to listen and follow your instincts. It raises fears and requires stepping out from the comfort zone along the way.

Despite the danger people want to do it. Because it’s fun, exciting and it's possible to exceed the limits, make a dream true and experience something new and mind-blowing. And what’s makes the most of the trip, is the overall excursion - the peak maybe the goal but it wouldn’t be perfect without the preparations and landing. And it certainly leads to somewhere new.  

Not everyone want to climb the mountains. We all have different dreams and desires, skills and specialities. Even though there would be tons of people doing the same thing, you have your own individual gifts and lot of to give. So don’t waste your time - you are needed. Here I list the things you need in order reach the peaks that are important for you. 

But before you continue reading, stop to think for a moment:

What are you dreaming of? What would make you happy now? Write down the first thing that came to your mind. 

In order to make any kind of goals real you need to follow the same formula than the mountain climber:

  • Choose a dream or goal you want to achieve. It can be big or small.

  • Meditate and visualize it with tiniest details - see yourself at a goal and feel it in your bones. Feel how happy you are in that place. Even though it would feel crazy right now, trust in that small voice in your head. Own your dream. 

  • Create ideas what you need to do, learn or know to start to make it happen. Create a lot of ideas, more than you can (creative ideas come after the obvious ideas, so keep going).

  • Split it all to small tasks - make a list.

  • Schedule, plan and prioritize the tasks. 

  • Follow the plan, start from the easiest tasks to grow your courage on your new path.

  • Along the way motivate yourself by going back to the original intuitive feeling of what you will achieve when you get to your goal. 

  • When you are facing doubts or challenges, stop to see and feel deeply if it does feel right. Go back to original gut feeling if it does. 

  • If it doesn’t feel right, change the course but remember our ego like to raise fears and resistance as it don’t like the changes. The fear can guide you to the right direction, so be willing to look what is causing your fears.

  • Don’t rush or push to make it happen. Be patient and trust, you have set your intentions. Have faith, you’ll get there.

  • You can cut inspiring images to remind you of you big dream and activate your subconscious mind.

  • Create positive affirmations to keep your mindset open and positive.

  • Even though your goal is in the future, concentrate on the small steps and tasks you created. It is the is what makes the most of it.

Creating the life you want requires your efforts. Sometimes we stray to think happy things are achieved by luck.  Sometimes we wonder why the neighbor seems to get it all.

This is your life, do what you love and do it often (The Holstee manifesto has been my great inspiration). 

Sometimes when people get what they have silently wished for they say, "Oh, I got so lucky." Then something goes wrong and ego whispers, “It was too good to be true.”

It is common that people are afraid of happiness. It can feel safer to keep the dreams unreachable. Because what happens after we reach what we truly desire? Well, more happiness.

It is possible to create more and more of positive cycles. Challenges and obstacles are meant to guide you, grow you and give you the right direction. You get what you give and what you want in all ways - you are the creator of your own life. 

I would love to know your thoughts or questions! What is preventing you or how did you make your dream true? Leave your comment below. 

And there's something new coming up! Exclusive visualization workshops will kick-start at the end of this month.

SIGN UP here for my newsletter and be first to know and learn more of how to manifest and attract right kind of things in your life. 

With love, Jenni

How to do a mental reset in the middle of the busy day

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Some days can feel like an emotional roller coaster taking you on a ride from shiny happy moments to anxious, negative thoughts. Busy schedules and hectic lifestyle can lead to draining and stressful experiences - we all know that!

Have you ever noticed how your mood may change based on others? It can happen like this:

Scenario 1: Your colleague comes back from a meeting and shares some good news: “It was such a great review, I’m so relieved!” or “These coworkers/company/everything just sucks!”.

Or like this:

Scenario 2: You meet with clients or friends and afterwards you feel like a wet wipe. You don’t know what hit you but suddenly your good mood is gone. You feel tired and grey. “Today was not my day! Maybe tomorrow will be better.” 

Either way, we share our emotions all the time with others - what's your share? Day by day you can repeat this pattern and let the mood swing without control… But we don't like or want that, right? 

Luckily you can reclaim your own mental balance and peace with a few simple steps - you always have a choice.

Being mindful of your experiences allows for choice. If you keep the door open to your personal mood space you’ll be receptive of others’ emotional residue. You may not have control of all your daily experiences but you CAN CHOOSE HOW YOU REACT to them. 

The best remedy is to LEARN HOW TO HANDLE the grumpy moment when it hits. This can be done when you’re MINDFULLY present at that moment.

Conscious awareness = you recognize your mental state but you don’t let your emotions take the lead.

GROWING YOUR AWARENESS: A QUICK-FIX MINDFULNESS EXERCISE DURING THE DAY (it's never too late)

1) GIVE yourself FIVE MINUTES (set the timer so you can relax). By your desk, meeting room, public transportation, at a subway stop.

2) BRING your attention to your breathing: Notice your chest moving up and down - focus on it.

3) CALM your gaze or close your eyes if you can - the less sensory distractions the better.

4) INHALE a big long breath in through the nose-filling your lungs to capacity. EXHALE out through the mouth to let go of tensions. Relax into the pose. REPEAT 3x.

5) THEN follow your natural breathing rhythm for COUPLE OF minutes. > Scan your body with the breath. >All your emotions and sensations are alright. > Do not judge yourself. >Be interested in what you find from within. >It’s all OKAY! >Let the thoughts pass when they arise.

As you repeat this exercise daily you may find things changing. You will notice more laughter, joy and ease of being.

KEEP GOING and exercise. Your awareness will slowly grow. 

"When you consciously listen to your inner quietness you’ll first face the foggy nothingness. Eventually, the invisible curtains will slowly open and your patience will take you to quietness (and answers)."

Can it be this simple?! The conscious breathing synchronizes the body and mind to the present moment: your power source. It reduces stress and anxiety while helping improve focus, memory, productivity and overall health. It adds compassion, understanding and ability to FEEL THE LOVE with yourself and others.

OBSERVE. When you live in the moment you awaken yourself to life. When you make daily choices consciously from that space you are CREATING the life you want and RECOGNIZING it. Suddenly you will experience what some just call MAGIC.

Go to https://jenniglad.leadpages.net/bemindful/ to get your FREE 5-minute mindfulness meditation!

Feel free to share you own comments or tricks how you switch back to balance in the middle of hectic day.

Love, Jenni

How to cool down when the heat is on (sweat the bitch out)

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Some itchy bitchy feelings suddenly caught me. I felt like I wanted to have a little battle and argument with someone. Even though I noticed the quick thought of wisdom in my mind saying:

"You should rather take some time alone to get the insight what is going on, than forcing yourself to socialize and follow your too-full schedule."

But I had made the plans and I don't like to cancel and disappoint others, so I almost flew down the stairs on Saturday morning. (I'm working on my habit to listening and serving myself more carefully)

But this time, I didn’t listen to my won guidance, and I finally, and successfully, ended up in an argument. 

Did it feel good? 

Of course not: I don’t like to push my frustration to other people's neck. It's not their fault if my mind wants to be bossy and in control when I have overwhelmed myself with the busyness and forgot the self-care.

No one is perfect: this small failure was not a failure as it woke me up to see the heat is on: 

Do you ever feel so indecisive that you don’t have any idea what you need? Is it difficult to prioritize and instead of making decisions what you want, you just dwell in frustration? 

Maybe you over-think and analyze. Squirming with discomfort and having that small self-blaming and judging voice in the head is not helping at all.

Even though nothing’s really wrong there’s a big "Nah" in the back of the head. You just want to say “I don’t know,” because you don’t know but you have to make decisions.

Or you’re saying yes without thinking and get yourself even more tired and you feel bad as you're bad company.

This happens to me when the inner heat is on and I’ve slowly slipped from the happy track. Then I need to get back to sync with myself and often it requires self-care.

No need to emphasize we’re living in a dynamic world: the energy is heated up out there. Driver’s horn and people push each other in a hurry and no one wants to be pushed. Heat causes general anxiousness and sweating in the crowd make our head boil. 

When the weather is melting hot the pace must be slowed down.We need calmness and grounding to cool the down the over-heat in our bodies - mental blocks are causing physical blocks and the other way round. 

Still, we cannot blame the external conditions: work stress, heat, and people - blaming others has never solved any issues.

It is our responsibility to take care of the physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

It keeps us away from the confronting situations. And we don’t react so easily with the other people crankiness either. Because we don't know what the others (colleagues, friends, even family members) have on their plate - it's better to be kind.

How to cool down when you feel over-heated and unconnected:

Stop to listen to yourself. What does your body need now? How do you feel and what feels right for you? Follow your inner guidance and make it happen. You will gain a lot more energy by taking action and getting out there than just slouching on the couch.

  1. Sweat it out. Run, walk, jump, do yoga, hit the ball with the racket or ride a bike — move your body even for a short time! Just do it.

  2. Lose yourself to dance (I love that Daft Punk's song) Play your ultimate summer song you really (or secretly) dig and let your hips talk! The bigger and crazier moves, the better; no one can see you. This lifts your energy levels high-up in five minutes!

  3. Take a walk in the park and sit on the grass. Observe and listen what’s happening around you, the birds, wind, clouds and sun. Breathe in the green energy, enjoy the healing power of nature. This is a slow relaxing and mindfulness exercise.

  4. Calm yourself before bedtime. Rinse the feet with warm water. Lift your legs up towards the wall for 15 minutes. Squirm your butt close to the wall, keep the spine long and open arms to the sides. Breathe in and out. This is calming practice that swipe away the inner dust.

I bet it feels good, and it was fun — you gained back your energy and are back in sync with yourself.

By the way, even though you have a bad day, it doesn't matter you have a bad life.

Love, Jenni